Do you think I was rude?

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capriqueen
capriqueen Posts: 974 Member
The other day my roommate told me while I was washing dishes that my tummy has grown (These were her exact words). Now normally I wouldn't have reacted, except she had asked me what my weight was about 10 times before that, despite me politely declining saying I was not comfortable sharing it. I had bought a new scale and was sharing it with her so she could check her weight (She had wanted to).

I am not really close with her, and she has talked about my stomach before, so I said as nicely as I could, "I'm getting close to my period, but don't make me conscious by pointing that out." She got dismissive and said "Oh, it's okay if it's your period" then proceeded to defend herself saying there's nothing wrong with what she said and it's natural to point out physical changes. I said, "Okay, then don't say it to me." She spun on her heel and stopped talking to me.

She's way more overweight than me, but I never point out her weight or her stomach to her but just motivate her to exercise, and only when she rues the need to. Was I too harsh?
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Replies

  • RastaLousGirl
    RastaLousGirl Posts: 2,119 Member
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    Nope.. In fact, I think you handled it well. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, not talking about it will not solve it. So, if she/he is doing something that you don't appreciate, especially about your body, then the best action is to let him/her know right then and there. You can always be understanding and open minded to their side, and you can kindly let them know your boundaries. If they choose to take it personally, than that is completely their problem. Be respectful, that's it! :)
  • RastaLousGirl
    RastaLousGirl Posts: 2,119 Member
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    more_skal wrote: »
    if you buy her a kitten she will forgive you. my mom did tis for me after she told me dad was never coming back again

    How did that work out for ya? :smile:
  • RastaLousGirl
    RastaLousGirl Posts: 2,119 Member
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    more_skal wrote: »
    more_skal wrote: »
    if you buy her a kitten she will forgive you. my mom did tis for me after she told me dad was never coming back again

    How did that work out for ya? :smile:
    more_skal wrote: »
    if you buy her a kitten she will forgive you. my mom did tis for me after she told me dad was never coming back again

    How did that work out for ya? :smile:

    i have 6 cats now, mum loves to apologize

    :D:D:D
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    Not too rude.

    When you tell somebody to go *kitten* themselves and punch them in the face.

    Too rude.

    But what if you tell them to go *kitten* themselves without the punch? Or if you just punch them in the face without telling them to go *kitten* themselves? Either of those are ok, right? Asking for a friend...
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    capriqueen wrote: »
    The other day my roommate told me while I was washing dishes that my tummy has grown (These were her exact words). Now normally I wouldn't have reacted, except she had asked me what my weight was about 10 times before that, despite me politely declining saying I was not comfortable sharing it. I had bought a new scale and was sharing it with her so she could check her weight (She had wanted to).

    I am not really close with her, and she has talked about my stomach before, so I said as nicely as I could, "I'm getting close to my period, but don't make me conscious by pointing that out." She got dismissive and said "Oh, it's okay if it's your period" then proceeded to defend herself saying there's nothing wrong with what she said and it's natural to point out physical changes. I said, "Okay, then don't say it to me." She spun on her heel and stopped talking to me.

    She's way more overweight than me, but I never point out her weight or her stomach to her but just motivate her to exercise, and only when she rues the need to. Was I too harsh?

    Next time reply with 'shall I comment on your body now?'
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    Not too rude.

    When you tell somebody to go *kitten* themselves and punch them in the face.

    Too rude.

    But what if you tell them to go *kitten* themselves without the punch? Or if you just punch them in the face without telling them to go *kitten* themselves? Either of those are ok, right? Asking for a friend...

    btw...I'm seriously admiring your transformation...great job!

    Damn!

    Thank you :D
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
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    Not rude at all. You know what's rude? Eating all the cream puffs at a party.
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
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    you weren't to rude. if she keeps it up after warning her about how you feel. then no. I can't stand when people don't take a clue there are certain things I don't want to talk about
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    more_skal wrote: »
    more_skal wrote: »
    if you buy her a kitten she will forgive you. my mom did tis for me after she told me dad was never coming back again

    How did that work out for ya? :smile:
    more_skal wrote: »
    if you buy her a kitten she will forgive you. my mom did tis for me after she told me dad was never coming back again

    How did that work out for ya? :smile:

    i have 6 cats now, mum loves to apologize

    I laughed and covered it as a cough and now my coworkers think I'm dying.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    OP, you handled it much more gracefully than most people would have. Your roommate is rude.
  • Jimb376mfp
    Jimb376mfp Posts: 6,231 Member
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    Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
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    iJoshie wrote: »
    Jimb376mfp wrote: »
    Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
    How much do you weigh? I weigh 213.

    You didn't ask how much I weigh, I consider that pretty rude.
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
    edited December 2017
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    iJoshie wrote: »
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    iJoshie wrote: »
    Jimb376mfp wrote: »
    Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
    How much do you weigh? I weigh 213.

    You didn't ask how much I weigh, I consider that pretty rude.

    1 fity?

    about tree fiddy
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Caporegiem wrote: »
    iJoshie wrote: »
    Jimb376mfp wrote: »
    Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
    How much do you weigh? I weigh 213.

    You didn't ask how much I weigh, I consider that pretty rude.

    The question is how much do I look like I weigh... ?!