Do you think I was rude?
capriqueen
Posts: 976 Member
in Chit-Chat
The other day my roommate told me while I was washing dishes that my tummy has grown (These were her exact words). Now normally I wouldn't have reacted, except she had asked me what my weight was about 10 times before that, despite me politely declining saying I was not comfortable sharing it. I had bought a new scale and was sharing it with her so she could check her weight (She had wanted to).
I am not really close with her, and she has talked about my stomach before, so I said as nicely as I could, "I'm getting close to my period, but don't make me conscious by pointing that out." She got dismissive and said "Oh, it's okay if it's your period" then proceeded to defend herself saying there's nothing wrong with what she said and it's natural to point out physical changes. I said, "Okay, then don't say it to me." She spun on her heel and stopped talking to me.
She's way more overweight than me, but I never point out her weight or her stomach to her but just motivate her to exercise, and only when she rues the need to. Was I too harsh?
I am not really close with her, and she has talked about my stomach before, so I said as nicely as I could, "I'm getting close to my period, but don't make me conscious by pointing that out." She got dismissive and said "Oh, it's okay if it's your period" then proceeded to defend herself saying there's nothing wrong with what she said and it's natural to point out physical changes. I said, "Okay, then don't say it to me." She spun on her heel and stopped talking to me.
She's way more overweight than me, but I never point out her weight or her stomach to her but just motivate her to exercise, and only when she rues the need to. Was I too harsh?
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Nope.. In fact, I think you handled it well. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, not talking about it will not solve it. So, if she/he is doing something that you don't appreciate, especially about your body, then the best action is to let him/her know right then and there. You can always be understanding and open minded to their side, and you can kindly let them know your boundaries. If they choose to take it personally, than that is completely their problem. Be respectful, that's it!
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if you buy her a kitten she will forgive you. my mom did tis for me after she told me dad was never coming back again5
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Soul_Radiation wrote: »Not too rude.
When you tell somebody to go *kitten* themselves and punch them in the face.
Too rude.
But what if you tell them to go *kitten* themselves without the punch? Or if you just punch them in the face without telling them to go *kitten* themselves? Either of those are ok, right? Asking for a friend...1 -
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capriqueen wrote: »The other day my roommate told me while I was washing dishes that my tummy has grown (These were her exact words). Now normally I wouldn't have reacted, except she had asked me what my weight was about 10 times before that, despite me politely declining saying I was not comfortable sharing it. I had bought a new scale and was sharing it with her so she could check her weight (She had wanted to).
I am not really close with her, and she has talked about my stomach before, so I said as nicely as I could, "I'm getting close to my period, but don't make me conscious by pointing that out." She got dismissive and said "Oh, it's okay if it's your period" then proceeded to defend herself saying there's nothing wrong with what she said and it's natural to point out physical changes. I said, "Okay, then don't say it to me." She spun on her heel and stopped talking to me.
She's way more overweight than me, but I never point out her weight or her stomach to her but just motivate her to exercise, and only when she rues the need to. Was I too harsh?
Next time reply with 'shall I comment on your body now?'1 -
Soul_Radiation wrote: »djeffreys10 wrote: »Soul_Radiation wrote: »Not too rude.
When you tell somebody to go *kitten* themselves and punch them in the face.
Too rude.
But what if you tell them to go *kitten* themselves without the punch? Or if you just punch them in the face without telling them to go *kitten* themselves? Either of those are ok, right? Asking for a friend...
btw...I'm seriously admiring your transformation...great job!
Damn!
Thank you
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Not rude at all. You know what's rude? Eating all the cream puffs at a party.4
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you weren't to rude. if she keeps it up after warning her about how you feel. then no. I can't stand when people don't take a clue there are certain things I don't want to talk about0
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I laughed and covered it as a cough and now my coworkers think I'm dying.0 -
OP, you handled it much more gracefully than most people would have. Your roommate is rude.1
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Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
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How much do you weigh? I weigh 213.Jimb376mfp wrote: »Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
You didn't ask how much I weigh, I consider that pretty rude.1 -
Caporegiem wrote: »
How much do you weigh? I weigh 213.Jimb376mfp wrote: »Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
You didn't ask how much I weigh, I consider that pretty rude.
1 fity?
about tree fiddy2 -
Caporegiem wrote: »
How much do you weigh? I weigh 213.Jimb376mfp wrote: »Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
You didn't ask how much I weigh, I consider that pretty rude.
The question is how much do I look like I weigh... ?!1 -
TavistockToad wrote: »Caporegiem wrote: »
How much do you weigh? I weigh 213.Jimb376mfp wrote: »Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
You didn't ask how much I weigh, I consider that pretty rude.
The question is how much do I look like I weigh... ?!
The average weight of a toad is around 0.5lb so I'm going with that for you, just to play it safe.1 -
Caporegiem wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Caporegiem wrote: »
How much do you weigh? I weigh 213.Jimb376mfp wrote: »Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
You didn't ask how much I weigh, I consider that pretty rude.
The question is how much do I look like I weigh... ?!
The average weight of a toad is around 0.5lb so I'm going with that for you, just to play it safe.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
How much do you weigh? I weigh 213.Jimb376mfp wrote: »Asking someone what they weigh is rude PERIOD! IMHO
190.4 now, I was 376# in January 2013. I’ll be 70 yo in February and be at or below my high school weight!
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It is fine to bluntly say I don't like this, stop talking about it. You don't need to be polite when someone is being rude to you.
It is fine to make it clear to her that commenting on your body is not okay with you even if it is normal for her. It is not okay for many people.0 -
capriqueen wrote: »The other day my roommate told me while I was washing dishes that my tummy has grown (These were her exact words). Now normally I wouldn't have reacted, except she had asked me what my weight was about 10 times before that, despite me politely declining saying I was not comfortable sharing it. I had bought a new scale and was sharing it with her so she could check her weight (She had wanted to).
I am not really close with her, and she has talked about my stomach before, so I said as nicely as I could, "I'm getting close to my period, but don't make me conscious by pointing that out." She got dismissive and said "Oh, it's okay if it's your period" then proceeded to defend herself saying there's nothing wrong with what she said and it's natural to point out physical changes. I said, "Okay, then don't say it to me." She spun on her heel and stopped talking to me.
She's way more overweight than me, but I never point out her weight or her stomach to her but just motivate her to exercise, and only when she rues the need to. Was I too harsh?
I would not have handled it as nicely and appropriately as you did.
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