Are there any excuses?
asviles
Posts: 56 Member
Knowing what you know now, by cruising these forums and trying CICO for yourself, In the end, are there any excuses you will accept for someone who WANTS to lose weight, but just "can't"?
I've pretty much read them all on these forums from thyroid to injury, and for every excuse made I see about 10 responses of people who suffered the same or worse circumstance and still made it work.
That being said, let's lay it all out here. What's your excuse?
Mine have been in the past, depression, ignorance, bum ankle, sugar addiction, impoverished, asthma, history of obesity in my family, too much work, too much stress, just had a kid, just got married, it's the holidays, blah blah blah blah blaaaahhhhhh.
The only one I really accept about my past now is ignorance. I didn't realize how much I was eating and how poorly I was eating until I started plugging in my meals to MFP.
Even now in the holiday season I see myself slacking, forgetting to add, or giving in to the office snacks that seem to flow like Immortal Technique into the break room, but I know I'm struggling and I know how to fix it, and I'll be back on track come January. 45 pounds down, 45 to go!
I've pretty much read them all on these forums from thyroid to injury, and for every excuse made I see about 10 responses of people who suffered the same or worse circumstance and still made it work.
That being said, let's lay it all out here. What's your excuse?
Mine have been in the past, depression, ignorance, bum ankle, sugar addiction, impoverished, asthma, history of obesity in my family, too much work, too much stress, just had a kid, just got married, it's the holidays, blah blah blah blah blaaaahhhhhh.
The only one I really accept about my past now is ignorance. I didn't realize how much I was eating and how poorly I was eating until I started plugging in my meals to MFP.
Even now in the holiday season I see myself slacking, forgetting to add, or giving in to the office snacks that seem to flow like Immortal Technique into the break room, but I know I'm struggling and I know how to fix it, and I'll be back on track come January. 45 pounds down, 45 to go!
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Replies
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There was no excuse for me being overweight, I was just lazy and ate too much!
Fast forward 5 years since I started MFP, at maintenance for 4 of those - I got off my behind, moved more and ate a little less. If I can, anyone can
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Its none of my business what others do, And im not one for excuses lol. I know when i *kitten* up and to me its me making a choice to do so, Not an excuse. I choose to lie to myself sometimes, But i know im doing it so it isnt really even a lie lol. I believe in pieces to peoples puzzles that "complicate" like health, injury, ignorance, hormones, depression, holidays etc. But im a strong believer that every person has a base idea when they eat to much. I mean its pretty common sense. Like when im having binge issues that feel uncontrollable, I get rid of my foods i struggle with. I make the choice that benefits me and helps me. Vs someone who just feels the uncontrollable urges and doesnt take the steps to avoid it next time. (im not judging anyone just an example) We lie to ourselves, Or allow our excuses or our zero *kitten* given to take over. Especially the holiday one, Because yum right. Mmmm cookies. To me thats still a choice really.
so i guess summed up, No lol. IF someone wants something that bad theyd get it. Its not hard to do a little research and find what does work, People just prefer to spin their wheels as a way to avoid what they arent yet ready for. Whether it clicks and they take the actual leap is individual but "i want to lose weight but i cant!" isnt a thing.7 -
My excuse was "I don't want to". It was a perfectly good excuse that I would accept for anyone without questions, including myself in the future if it ever comes to it. I hope my priorities don't change (and I feel like they won't), but no one knows what the future will bring and how things could change.
For someone who does want to lose weight, I would accept any excuse but would not consider most of them valid as stated. To me, most of them would read more like "I'm not willing to make this high on my list of priorities", which is a good and valid excuse but sadly is rarely stated honestly as is. People tend to want their excuses to feel like they have no control over them because it's more comfortable that way.25 -
It's really not up to meet to accept or reject other people's excuses. Besides, I'm not the one who lives with the results.
I'll say that I was hit by a car as a cyclist and continued to lose weight afterwards. But I couldn't fault anybody for struggling after an injury.8 -
Not so much excuses, but there can be many reasons why someone chooses not to make focusing on their weight a priority.
And make no mistake about that. For the whole thing to work, it has to be a priority in some measure.
It's not for me to judge the validity of anyone's reasons for it being or not being a priority at any given moment in their lives. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
It becomes my business only if and when they come whining on the forums about it.17 -
What she said. There are many legitimate reasons that present barriers for people. And often those reasons are justified by what we may consider excuses but in reality the person saying them knows or will come to know that they can overcome them.
I've had reasons that I've presented as excuses. I needed time to process and ultimately for me, actually identify the reasons which I have gone into openly and extensively on these forums. I hope they come up in Google searches sometimes for those seeking answers with the same set of circumstances for the most part.
And I will always relay those thoughts on threads as mentioned above and I am not fluffy about it for the most part either. The brutal truth can be hard to stomach in the immediacy of your posting but somewhere down the track it can sink in and changes can be made.
I'd say this applies to a lot of things in life.5 -
I can agree with ignorance. I've had countless talks with people who swear by this reason or that, that they can't lose/gain weight/muscle. In a lot of these interactions I find trying to help such a person is what 'can't' be done because they refuse to help themselves. It's like they're using that energy explaining why they can't do something instead of figuring out ways to overcome it.
Having people ask me for advice then explain it away like "oh well that would never work for me," doesn't offend me because its not me, but their own ignorance that's hindering them - I know this because I've been that person before.
Just my thoughts.4 -
RunRutheeRun wrote: »There was no excuse for me being overweight, I was just lazy and ate too much!
Fast forward 5 years since I started MFP, at maintenance for 4 of those - I got off my behind, moved more and ate a little less. If I can, anyone can
Ditto this, on both sentences!3 -
Never one to judge others' journey...the beginning or the end... but I can say for myself it was sheer ignorant denial...and frankly, being short-sighted about what I was doing to my body's expiration date. Waiting until I was 52 years old to get strong really pisses me off. If I can impart any opinion to other people it is that regret is a heavy burden.4
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I may not have expressed myself correctly (my brain is overworked these days), but I believe any reason not to lose weight is a valid reason, from "I'm going through a lot and it's extremely hard for me to manage weight right now" all the way to "food tastes good and I want to eat a lot of it". I myself make the choice to not lose or even gain sometimes because hedonic pleasures win on the priorities scale and I don't think any less of myself for it. It's just important that people know exactly what is going on in their heads because I believe it's entirely possible for someone to lie to themselves, which hinders a lot of potential progress. It may feel better not to feel "responsible", but feeling powerless when you aren't or like something is permanent when it isn't doesn't feel all that much better.12
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amusedmonkey wrote: »I may not have expressed myself correctly (my brain is overworked these days), but I believe any reason not to lose weight is a valid reason, from "I'm going through a lot and it's extremely hard for me to manage weight right now" all the way to "food tastes good and I want to eat a lot of it". I myself make the choice to not lose or even gain sometimes because hedonic pleasures win on the priorities scale and I don't think any less of myself for it. It's just important that people know exactly what is going on in their heads because I believe it's entirely possible for someone to lie to themselves, which hinders a lot of potential progress. It may feel better not to feel "responsible", but feeling powerless when you aren't or like something is permanent when it isn't doesn't feel all that much better.
I tend to agree with you (to a point, more on that later in the post). I had a medical crisis this past spring and knowingly stress ate my way through it, putting weight management on the back burner on purpose.
The thing is that for people like us who are fully aware of the process, we are making conscientious choices.
I cannot say the same for my past self. A lot of the choices I made surrounding food were made out of ignorance of the process of weight management, an overload of media/dieting industry input on how I should/should not be eating, and a lack of willingness to accept responsibility for my own role in my weight.
There are a LOT of people with issues involving any of those factors who can't mindfully practice conscientious decision making regarding deciding to not prioritize weight management in the same meaningful way you speak of in your original post can.4 -
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Not so much excuses, but there can be many reasons why someone chooses not to make focusing on their weight a priority.
And make no mistake about that. For the whole thing to work, it has to be a priority in some measure.
It's not for me to judge the validity of anyone's reasons for it being or not being a priority at any given moment in their lives. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
It becomes my business only if and when they come whining on the forums about it.
Exactly this.
There have been times I did not prioritize weight loss above other things that in my mind conflicted with doing what I needed to do in some way. Did that mean I "couldn't" lose weight? No. Do I think it's something I need to make excuses for or apologize for? No. Do I think anyone else needs to justify to me why they are overweight or not currently working on weight loss? Of course not.7 -
are there any excuses you will accept for someone who WANTS to lose weight, but just "can't"?
i don't see it as my place in the first place to 'accept' someone else's explanations/excuses or not. this isn't even a conversation that happens to me a whole lot, but speaking more generally: if someone tells me why they can't do something or other, i'd rather just accept that and move on than get into a big judge-fest about how they need permission from me.
[ quote] I see about 10 responses of people who suffered the same or worse circumstance and still made it work. [/quote]
heh. i always think 'good for you, sunshine" with a nice big side of eyeroll. i don't see 'i did it so you ought to' as valid. i suppose most people who say it are sincerely bought into the inspiration/example mindset, but MOST of the time (but this is depending on tone) i personally just think it's kind of pompous and rude to assume the world wants to - or should - take you as its model.13 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Not so much excuses, but there can be many reasons why someone chooses not to make focusing on their weight a priority.
And make no mistake about that. For the whole thing to work, it has to be a priority in some measure.
It's not for me to judge the validity of anyone's reasons for it being or not being a priority at any given moment in their lives. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
It becomes my business only if and when they come whining on the forums about it.
Yep when people start opening their mouths telling others their business and verbalizing their "reasons" they should not be surprised/butthurt if others view them as excuses. Either on forums or in "real life".4 -
The critical aspect is how you deal with ignorance. Do you learn, adapt, change, and overcome? If not, why not?
Not that I care - everyone is free to live their life as they see fit as long as they don't harm others.1 -
Knowing what you know now, by cruising these forums and trying CICO for yourself, In the end, are there any excuses you will accept for someone who WANTS to lose weight, but just "can't"?
As phrased, no.
For me, the key word in that question is the one you've highlighted with quotes, which I think shows that it's your quibble as well. 'Eat less, move more' works for everyone. There is no one who "can't" lose weight.
However, as others have stated, I'm perfectly willing to accept others' explanations for why they have failed to lose weight. Valid reasons might be that they have other tasks that take priority over exercise and/or meal preparation, or that they've been injured or ill, or that high-calorie foods are especially difficult to avoid.
Reasons that I would not accept as valid for why someone has failed to lose weight would include woo-y stuff like being on vacation and forgetting to bring their ACV. The ACV was not helping you lose weight in the first place. Its absence, therefore, is not the reason you're not losing weight.3 -
The critical aspect is how you deal with ignorance. Do you learn, adapt, change, and overcome? If not, why not?
There's a great deal of misinformation out there. People can try to educate themselves and wind up addicted to sugar and needing to do a one footed keto detox while listening to hippies signing about the devil's gluten.9 -
I think there are excuses and I think there are valid reasons that one may not be able to prioritize weight loss or weight management or fitness, etc.
As an example, I haven't really been able to exercise in the manner that I normally do for the last 2-3 months. The reason being that a lot of my free time that I would devote to riding or lifting has been eaten up by house hunting, buying a house, making the fixes we wanted to make before moving in, packing, moving, unpacking, getting the old house cleaned up and ready for the market, meeting with realtors to put the house on the market, etc.
Basically, I get in a ride when I can and hit the gym when I can, but it's been a serious step back from "normal" for me. At the moment, it's just a lower priority given other obligations. I still eat well, but I've gained about 8 Lbs from maintenance because I'm moving less and I'm not very good about cutting back on food when I'm not exercising.
It's all good, and I'm not going to *kitten* and moan about it...I'll be back in the saddle soon enough and all will be well.6 -
I have the eating part figured out so my excuses are Scotch, wine and beer. If I run 25 miles a week I can overcome my excuses.4
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NorthCascades wrote: »The critical aspect is how you deal with ignorance. Do you learn, adapt, change, and overcome? If not, why not?
There's a great deal of misinformation out there. People can try to educate themselves and wind up addicted to sugar and needing to do a one footed keto detox while listening to hippies signing about the devil's gluten.
I agree and truth is a tremendous threat to those providing the misinformation. The diet industry would take a serious hit if people simply ate less and moved more.
It is very challenging to find truth. It is relatively easy to find what is not true however.
The allure of quick and easy will often override slow and disciplined.2 -
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I think we all have "excuses". I think for me mine has always been mental. I have always been petite and curvy and no matter what I did the weight would not come off, then I got to a point where I wasn't eating at all and hiding it from my family. I got married and "settled" into married life and gained the majority of my weight there and got to a point within myself that I gave up on life and myself due to being in a horrible marriage. Life will always happen and we have a choice of wanting to stay stagnant, feel miserable or wanting to make a change. I want to live my best life and enjoy it.2
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This is my line of thinking as well. Some people need to get over their excuses. Others just need to admit that it's not important enough to them at that particular moment... and that's fine.GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Not so much excuses, but there can be many reasons why someone chooses not to make focusing on their weight a priority.
<snip>
It becomes my business only if and when they come whining on the forums about it.
Sometimes you have to prioritize your priorities.
That's a great expression!GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Not my circus, not my monkeys.
As for me personally... I've always had pretty good luck making progress when I stick to what I know I'm supposed to be doing. And when I'm not, it's pretty obvious I'm not, so there aren't really any excuses for me to hide behind. I've said, "eff it, I don't care" for months at a time, but I've never really blamed my lack of progress or growing waistline on some external factor. Sure, there are things in my life or about my environment that make it harder for me... but everyone has those. They may be different person to person, but we all have challenges to overcome. But those challenges aren't excuses. They are life. Welcome to adulthood.
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NorthCascades wrote: »The critical aspect is how you deal with ignorance. Do you learn, adapt, change, and overcome? If not, why not?
There's a great deal of misinformation out there. People can try to educate themselves and wind up addicted to sugar and needing to do a one footed keto detox while listening to hippies signing about the devil's gluten.
I agree and truth is a tremendous threat to those providing the misinformation. The diet industry would take a serious hit if people simply ate less and moved more.
It is very challenging to find truth. It is relatively easy to find what is not true however.
The allure of quick and easy will often override slow and disciplined.
I think this is part of the key issue with the preponderance and perpetuation of misinformation. It feeds into what people want to believe.
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So for me the difference between a reason and an excuse is that an excuse is something you use to hold you back, but a reason is a problem you need to figure out how to solve or work around.
In my case, the excuse was that I was always too tired to work out, the family is too picky too eat healthy, I can't afford/don't have the time to eat well.
Turns out the reason was that fibro and a sleep disorder, on top of ADD and depression caused me to be in pain most of the time, and exhausted all the time. But since mostly of my Dr.s were too busy telling me I was fat and lazy instead of helping me figure out WHY I was having so much trouble, I had pretty much given up on myself.
It was only after my husband kept nagging me to try different Dr.s and I insisted on and fought for being referred to neurologist and BEGGED for Provogil (which had worked well years ago, but due to insurance was canceled) that I realized HOW MUCH everything else was affected. A few days after I startwd Provovil in the morning and 5htp at night, it was like I was suddenly removed from all the layeres of blankets and fog thathad been holding me down. A few days later I started bring able to take my eating seriously, and was even able ti do things like work, AND cook dinner, AND clean the kitchen ON THE SAME DAY.
Of course now that I know that's the reason, I have the choice to fix it by taking meds and staying educated, or I can let it be an excuse to hold me back. "Not my fault, I'm sick". Knowing that there are tools that I can actually accsess has made all the difference in helping me stop letting my reasons be excuses.13 -
The_Enginerd wrote: »NorthCascades wrote: »The critical aspect is how you deal with ignorance. Do you learn, adapt, change, and overcome? If not, why not?
There's a great deal of misinformation out there. People can try to educate themselves and wind up addicted to sugar and needing to do a one footed keto detox while listening to hippies signing about the devil's gluten.
I agree and truth is a tremendous threat to those providing the misinformation. The diet industry would take a serious hit if people simply ate less and moved more.
It is very challenging to find truth. It is relatively easy to find what is not true however.
The allure of quick and easy will often override slow and disciplined.
I think this is part of the key issue with the preponderance and perpetuation of misinformation. It feeds into what people want to believe.
If I told you cutting your arm off would make you should and muscular, even if you believed me you wouldn't do it. But if I said people get fat because they don't eat enough and potato chips and iced cream are the answer to take you out of starvation mode, well, people already believe that.
And it's not even just weight loss. My brother died and I need money to get to his funeral, want to buy his Rolex for $50? People fall for things that are too good to be true.0
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