Once I start eating, I want to keep eating
Replies
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JerSchmare wrote: »MegaMooseEsq wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »This time of year is always a struggle for me with all the sweets and goodies around. And then there are the food pushers.
Food pushers? What an odd phrase. Sounds like a total victim statement to me, unless they are literally holding you down and pushing food down your throat. And if they are, you should probably call the police and report assault and battery.
Victim statements help hold us in our ruts. Seeing people as "food pushers" puts the blame that you ate the food on them, instead of on you where it belongs. I'm not saying eating the food is even inherently wrong. I'm saying the mindset needs changed in order to be successful.
Although I agree with you on the mind-set point, "food pusher" perfectly describes a woman I work with. Yesterday she walked up to my desk, handed me a cookie, then stood there until I took a bite.
Because of my conspiracy theory mindset, it is literally impossible for someone else to make me eat. If she pushed it like that, I would assume it’s drugged. And, I’d just tell her to get the cookie out of my face.
When people are rude, it’s ok to be rude back. So, my tactic would be to smile and say, “ No thank You”. If she keep standing there with a cookie in my face, I’d lose the smile and say, “Thanks anyway, but no”. If she persisted, “you have exactly 3 seconds to get that cookie out of my face. I’m not kidding around.” When she finally took it away. I’d also say, “that’s rude and inappropriate. Next time you offer, and I say no, you need to respect that.”
People treat you the way that you let them.
It's not worth ruining a relationship (close relative) over a cookie and one cookie won't make a difference. Also, I think we should be nice to those that even treat us poorly. That is the goal anyways.3 -
Christine_72 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »This time of year is always a struggle for me with all the sweets and goodies around. And then there are the food pushers.
Food pushers? What an odd phrase. Sounds like a total victim statement to me, unless they are literally holding you down and pushing food down your throat. And if they are, you should probably call the police and report assault and battery.
Victim statements help hold us in our ruts. Seeing people as "food pushers" puts the blame that you ate the food on them, instead of on you where it belongs. I'm not saying eating the food is even inherently wrong. I'm saying the mindset needs changed in order to be successful.
Apparently you've never encountered the person who is insulted when you try to say "no" to their offer of food? They have worked SO hard preparing it and is it going to kill you to just eat a little
I call these people food pushers and diet sabotagers. Your mileage may vary
This is my husband. For him, Love is food, and the look on his face if i refuse to accept his offerings is just heartbreaking... He doesn't hold me down and shove food in my mouth, as someone mentioned. But my willpower is only so strong, and sooner or later i do break.
He also tosses chips my way when he's opened a bag, like I'm a freaking seagull or something!! Some days I'll throw them back at him, other times i'll indulge.
As for the topic of the thread.. I put off eating for as long as possible, I usually have my first bit of food between 1-3pm, as once i start the hunger monster has been unleashed and it's 1000 x harder to keep it under control.
Do not awaken the BEAST!2 -
kenyonhaff wrote: »One skill that is often not taught or practiced is eating mindfully. Actually tasting and savoring the food rather than wolfing it down. It is natural to want to inhale food but when one slows down and pauses and really experiences the food the mind can really register pleasure and feel full.
I don't like to eat like that (I do try to have good manners and not eat fast though). My wife will take forever to eat an ice-cream cone. I can inhale it in seconds if I want to. I really think I get more pleasure out of the full feeling in my belly!1 -
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JerSchmare wrote: »JerSchmare wrote: »MegaMooseEsq wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »This time of year is always a struggle for me with all the sweets and goodies around. And then there are the food pushers.
Food pushers? What an odd phrase. Sounds like a total victim statement to me, unless they are literally holding you down and pushing food down your throat. And if they are, you should probably call the police and report assault and battery.
Victim statements help hold us in our ruts. Seeing people as "food pushers" puts the blame that you ate the food on them, instead of on you where it belongs. I'm not saying eating the food is even inherently wrong. I'm saying the mindset needs changed in order to be successful.
Although I agree with you on the mind-set point, "food pusher" perfectly describes a woman I work with. Yesterday she walked up to my desk, handed me a cookie, then stood there until I took a bite.
Because of my conspiracy theory mindset, it is literally impossible for someone else to make me eat. If she pushed it like that, I would assume it’s drugged. And, I’d just tell her to get the cookie out of my face.
When people are rude, it’s ok to be rude back. So, my tactic would be to smile and say, “ No thank You”. If she keep standing there with a cookie in my face, I’d lose the smile and say, “Thanks anyway, but no”. If she persisted, “you have exactly 3 seconds to get that cookie out of my face. I’m not kidding around.” When she finally took it away. I’d also say, “that’s rude and inappropriate. Next time you offer, and I say no, you need to respect that.”
People treat you the way that you let them.
It's not worth ruining a relationship over a cookie and one cookie won't make a difference. Also, I think we should be nice to those that even treat us poorly. That is the goal anyways.
What kind of relationship would I ruin?
Why “should” I be nice to an @$$hole?
I believe that we should be nice to those who are our enemies. Bad people are nice to their friends, are we any better than that? I hope so.4 -
JerSchmare wrote: »JerSchmare wrote: »MegaMooseEsq wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »This time of year is always a struggle for me with all the sweets and goodies around. And then there are the food pushers.
Food pushers? What an odd phrase. Sounds like a total victim statement to me, unless they are literally holding you down and pushing food down your throat. And if they are, you should probably call the police and report assault and battery.
Victim statements help hold us in our ruts. Seeing people as "food pushers" puts the blame that you ate the food on them, instead of on you where it belongs. I'm not saying eating the food is even inherently wrong. I'm saying the mindset needs changed in order to be successful.
Although I agree with you on the mind-set point, "food pusher" perfectly describes a woman I work with. Yesterday she walked up to my desk, handed me a cookie, then stood there until I took a bite.
Because of my conspiracy theory mindset, it is literally impossible for someone else to make me eat. If she pushed it like that, I would assume it’s drugged. And, I’d just tell her to get the cookie out of my face.
When people are rude, it’s ok to be rude back. So, my tactic would be to smile and say, “ No thank You”. If she keep standing there with a cookie in my face, I’d lose the smile and say, “Thanks anyway, but no”. If she persisted, “you have exactly 3 seconds to get that cookie out of my face. I’m not kidding around.” When she finally took it away. I’d also say, “that’s rude and inappropriate. Next time you offer, and I say no, you need to respect that.”
People treat you the way that you let them.
It's not worth ruining a relationship over a cookie and one cookie won't make a difference. Also, I think we should be nice to those that even treat us poorly. That is the goal anyways.
What kind of relationship would I ruin?
Why “should” I be nice to an @$$hole?
I believe that we should be nice to those who are our enemies. Bad people are nice to their friends, are we any better than that? I hope so.
If someone was shoving a damn cookie in my face over and over again I'd probably punch them in theirs. To each their own.5 -
[/quote]
It's not worth ruining a relationship (close relative) over a cookie and one cookie won't make a difference. .[/quote]
I understand what you are saying and do agree to a point. The issue for me is that eating that cookie can set me off to eating/wanting more. It's like the taste of the sweet sets off the craving for more. And, consequently, makes it harder for me. Maybe it's just me.0 -
It's not worth ruining a relationship (close relative) over a cookie and one cookie won't make a difference. .[/quote]
I understand what you are saying and do agree to a point. The issue for me is that eating that cookie can set me off to eating/wanting more. It's like the taste of the sweet sets off the craving for more. And, consequently, makes it harder for me. Maybe it's just me.[/quote]
Understand, its a balance thing for sure!1 -
For foods that I love I now go for the highest quality I can afford and as small an amount as I can get away with. The compulsion to keep eating comes from a desire to repeat the experience. You can double your pleasure with a fraction of the volume by eating very s-l-o-w-l-y and giving all your attention to the experience.
How many Hershey bars does it take to get to maximum satiation? Does your satisfaction increase if you eat them twice as fast? Chances are, it does not.
A ten minute mindfulness exercise anchors your experience with a fraction of the calories.2 -
For foods that I love I now go for the highest quality I can afford and as small an amount as I can get away with. The compulsion to keep eating comes from a desire to repeat the experience. You can double your pleasure with a fraction of the volume by eating very s-l-o-w-l-y and giving all your attention to the experience.
How many Hershey bars does it take to get to maximum satiation? Does your satisfaction increase if you eat them twice as fast? Chances are, it does not.
A ten minute mindfulness exercise anchors your experience with a fraction of the calories.
You mean I shouldn't eat my ice-cream cone in under a minute? It sure does feel good in my tummy!0 -
@blambo61 I’m going to suggest that the maximum ice cream pleasure is oral. All those taste buds.
I eat my ice cream just fast enough to catch the drips. Once it hits my tummy it’s just another blob.
Me and the wife will go to a nice ice-cream place. While she is busy sampling everything, I've ordered mine and probably have it eaten before she even gets hers! I take bites. Licking it isn't going to happen! That works best for me. My wife, I think she catches the drips as they melt like you described! One thing that works with that though is she sometimes will let me finish her cone off since I'm watching her eat her's!1 -
JerSchmare wrote: »JerSchmare wrote: »MegaMooseEsq wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »This time of year is always a struggle for me with all the sweets and goodies around. And then there are the food pushers.
Food pushers? What an odd phrase. Sounds like a total victim statement to me, unless they are literally holding you down and pushing food down your throat. And if they are, you should probably call the police and report assault and battery.
Victim statements help hold us in our ruts. Seeing people as "food pushers" puts the blame that you ate the food on them, instead of on you where it belongs. I'm not saying eating the food is even inherently wrong. I'm saying the mindset needs changed in order to be successful.
Although I agree with you on the mind-set point, "food pusher" perfectly describes a woman I work with. Yesterday she walked up to my desk, handed me a cookie, then stood there until I took a bite.
Because of my conspiracy theory mindset, it is literally impossible for someone else to make me eat. If she pushed it like that, I would assume it’s drugged. And, I’d just tell her to get the cookie out of my face.
When people are rude, it’s ok to be rude back. So, my tactic would be to smile and say, “ No thank You”. If she keep standing there with a cookie in my face, I’d lose the smile and say, “Thanks anyway, but no”. If she persisted, “you have exactly 3 seconds to get that cookie out of my face. I’m not kidding around.” When she finally took it away. I’d also say, “that’s rude and inappropriate. Next time you offer, and I say no, you need to respect that.”
People treat you the way that you let them.
It's not worth ruining a relationship over a cookie and one cookie won't make a difference. Also, I think we should be nice to those that even treat us poorly. That is the goal anyways.
What kind of relationship would I ruin?
Why “should” I be nice to an @$$hole?
That's not how I would describe a food pusher. Generally, they are just trying to express caring via food. We are talking about family and coworkers who are food pushers, and the desire to not damage family or work relationships.1 -
Why does this happen? I am better off not to start eating because I feel compelled to keep eating. It's apparently the taste of the food, not hunger that is the driving force. Any tips to get this under control? Some days I feel like a food addict. Also, why, after having something salty do I crave something sweet? And vice versa.
Some foods set me off like this. I've found I need to save sweets for after dinner, and to have had a good balance of protein at that dinner. Upping protein in general has been really helpful for me.
I can also satisfy a sweet craving with fruit or a few dozen calories worth of chocolate chips, eaten very very slowly.
For a salt craving, I eat salt.1 -
4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »All,
Don't forget to stay on track in the help forums. If you would like to discuss grandmas, hair, or graham crackers feel free to visit the chit chat section.
Thanks,
4legs
@4legsRbetterthan2 since the OP herself brought up food pushers in a subsequent post on page one, wouldn't posts responding to that be on topic? Part of her struggle is food pushers - the food they push trigger what she posted about in her OP.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »JerSchmare wrote: »JerSchmare wrote: »MegaMooseEsq wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »This time of year is always a struggle for me with all the sweets and goodies around. And then there are the food pushers.
Food pushers? What an odd phrase. Sounds like a total victim statement to me, unless they are literally holding you down and pushing food down your throat. And if they are, you should probably call the police and report assault and battery.
Victim statements help hold us in our ruts. Seeing people as "food pushers" puts the blame that you ate the food on them, instead of on you where it belongs. I'm not saying eating the food is even inherently wrong. I'm saying the mindset needs changed in order to be successful.
Although I agree with you on the mind-set point, "food pusher" perfectly describes a woman I work with. Yesterday she walked up to my desk, handed me a cookie, then stood there until I took a bite.
Because of my conspiracy theory mindset, it is literally impossible for someone else to make me eat. If she pushed it like that, I would assume it’s drugged. And, I’d just tell her to get the cookie out of my face.
When people are rude, it’s ok to be rude back. So, my tactic would be to smile and say, “ No thank You”. If she keep standing there with a cookie in my face, I’d lose the smile and say, “Thanks anyway, but no”. If she persisted, “you have exactly 3 seconds to get that cookie out of my face. I’m not kidding around.” When she finally took it away. I’d also say, “that’s rude and inappropriate. Next time you offer, and I say no, you need to respect that.”
People treat you the way that you let them.
It's not worth ruining a relationship over a cookie and one cookie won't make a difference. Also, I think we should be nice to those that even treat us poorly. That is the goal anyways.
What kind of relationship would I ruin?
Why “should” I be nice to an @$$hole?
That's not how I would describe a food pusher. Generally, they are just trying to express caring via food. We are talking about family and coworkers who are food pushers, and the desire to not damage family or work relationships.
Exactly. It seems simple but food issues can be a huge trigger and deeply embedded and it can occasionally take a light touch to deal with this. Just screaming "Get that kitten mother-kittening fattening kitten cookie out of my face. Sorry to be rude but why should I be nice if you are being an azz....?" may not be the answer if it is Grandma. Or your boss, for that matter. Or your coworker who is dying or cancer and desperately wants to be remembered as the caretaking older lady. Or your SIL who is ignored most of the time by everybody but when she whips out her baking, the eyes are on her. Or whomever.
I mean I do believe no means no. But for example, many in the generation before mine remember the Great Depression, when people were freaking starving. Others remember WWII food rationing, when if you were lucky enough to get margarine, you squeezed a yellow dye packet into it to fool your eyes into thinking it was butter. These are dramatic examples but not rare. At all. And for the next generations we have our own rather weird reasons.
I have always managed such individuals in a rather gentle way and they generally have stopped after I said no. I half wonder whether people are seriously getting their hackles up and giving such a strident no that the pusher is confused and tries again, or something. Or maybe I have just gotten lucky for 50 years straight with hundreds of people.
Jesus, it is the holidays. Say thank you and stuff the thing in your pocket to toss later. If the person is standing over you get up and wander off after a nice smile. Food makes people a little weird, it is what it is.
JMO. I tend to choose my stand-taking on way more serious stuff than this.3 -
kshama2001 wrote: »4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »All,
Don't forget to stay on track in the help forums. If you would like to discuss grandmas, hair, or graham crackers feel free to visit the chit chat section.
Thanks,
4legs
@4legsRbetterthan2 since the OP herself brought up food pushers in a subsequent post on page one, wouldn't posts responding to that be on topic? Part of her struggle is food pushers - the food they push trigger what she posted about in her OP.
@kshama2001 - Of coarse. Usually if you see a reminder like this there were several posts off topic that had been removed. I get that sometimes a relevant comment mentioning grandma naturally morphs into a debate about whos grandma is the pushiest or has the best baked goods, but that isn't very helpful to the op anymore. So sometimes if it gets reported we try to nudge things back in the right direction.1 -
I will read the 4 pages later but as you said in your first line, it is easier to not take that first bite. (Or buy only an individual packaged item)0
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kenyonhaff wrote: »One skill that is often not taught or practiced is eating mindfully. Actually tasting and savoring the food rather than wolfing it down. It is natural to want to inhale food but when one slows down and pauses and really experiences the food the mind can really register pleasure and feel full.
Yes! This is what I do. If I inhale it I don't feel satisfied, but if I sit down, with no distractions--no TV, no computer or tablet, no work, limited conversation--and really concentrate on my food, then I feel satisfied and don't overeat.
I also portion out my food on a plate or in a bowl and then put the rest away. If I have to get everything back out again to fill my plate or bowl, it makes me think twice about that second serving and I typically don't go for it.
I also tell myself that if I want more in 10 minutes I can have more. 100% of the time 10 minutes will go by and I don't want more.1 -
I mean I do believe no means no. But for example, many in the generation before mine remember the Great Depression, when people were freaking starving. Others remember WWII food rationing, when if you were lucky enough to get margarine, you squeezed a yellow dye packet into it to fool your eyes into thinking it was butter. These are dramatic examples but not rare. At all. And for the next generations we have our own rather weird reasons.
That's how my in-laws were--their first question when we walked in the door was always "Are you hungry?" and when we talked to FIL on the phone he ALWAYS asked "Are you eating every day?" It took years for me to realize that he didn't necessarily eat every day when he was young.2
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