Online dating-observation

NorthCascades

xFunctionalStrengthx wrote: »

newmeadow wrote: »

vm007 wrote: »

slessofme wrote: »

@vm007 You think people aren't developing relationships, but you wonder if polygamy (polyamory might actually be what you mean) is a possibility? To be either version of poly, it requires multiple relationships. And @newmeadow has a point - are you being as tolerant as you would like others to be? I'll be frank, I'm a person that isn't tolerant. I'm more than ok with imperfect as long as I find a person compelling. I would rather someone wants to spend time with me because they find me compelling, rather than because they tolerate me.

I meant it in a way - that -who cares what's written. Just physical attraction- one night stand and wham bam thank you man. Attention span has been decreasing overall. WIth that we can have multiple partners.

I mean I don't know by personal experience, but let's just say I've heard when you meet these avatars in person they look nothing like their profile photo 75% of the time. If that's the exclusive criteria that you'd use for your low attention span whamming and bamming, you'd be behooved to determine a candidates bangability in person versus by staring at and fingering a plastic screen.

We used to go to discoteques and fornicate in the bathrooms, elevators, in the corners of the room behind the drapes and in the alley by the dumpster out back. Don't you polyamorous millennials still do that at your raves and mosh pits and such? You act like you never heard of it before.

They're too busy swiping a phone screen to look up and realize there's a life outside an electronic gizmo. They also feel entitled to it all, and want it yesterday.

Get off my lawn!

elizarizo

Online dating sucks about 98% of the time, most those bozos don’t wanna get to know you

eccomi_qui

I wanna observe two people online dating then watch to see if they get it on

Unknown

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km8907

eccomi_qui wrote: »

I wanna observe two people online dating then watch to see if they get it on

Try Omegle

Quasita

I generally do not agree with the idea that there is more tolerance in person. I think there is more threat in person... as in, we are compelled to hide our gut reactions to bad jokes, cruddy one-liners and unwanted physical advances because in person, we are directly subjected to the physical threat of the other person alongside social influences.

Online, we have a very one on one interaction. If a person contacts us and we're not interested, we rarely have an audience that is invested in the success of that interaction to any extent, so it is easy to decide "nope!" whereas in person, we often have an audience... Friends, acquaintances, expectations of general social norms, the need to not appear rude, the need to still appear approachable and friendly while also rejecting unwanted interactions... The same judgments happen, if not moreso, in person, but we express them on a delay most of the time. I think you'll find that if we can get out of it in person, we will.

However, even if we are not interested in person, we also have the possibility of immediate benefits that do not come with online interactions, such as free drinks/food, attention, demonstrating our attractiveness to potential partners we actually would like to talk to... So we also put up with more in person, not out of tolerance so much as you can garner benefits.

Online, you don't typically worry about it. You don't like a person? You don't have to respond. You can flat out ignore the message and no one except perhaps that person and you will know you ignored them. Your "rudeness" doesn't impact the impressions others around you may have of you.

Personally, in my experience, online interactions are far more forgiving because people tend to think things like "Oh maybe they didn't have a good angle for the photo" or "maybe they were being sarcastic and I can't tell because there is no tone in typed words" and yada yada yada... We want to be forgiving in situations where our general cues are taken out of the equation.

I do think that if you find that your conversations online are routinely ending in dead ends or non-responses, it's a good signal to re-evaluate the way you choose to communicate with other people. Because it removes the nuances you may rely on for communication, like sarcasm and teasing tones, it can reveal how uncomfortable you could be making people on a regular basis without realizing it... Whether it be overbearing, needy, skeezy or anything else.

As an exceptionally tall and heavy woman, I always found that online interactions were more forgiving because they took the immediacy of body judgment out of the equation and allowed people to know me first, and get to know my body second.