Is it ok to be ok with an overweight number on the scale?
Bekah7482
Posts: 246 Member
Ok this has come up a lot with me recently. A little back story. I am 5'9 and I was sitting in my doctors office at 398lbs. My doctor asks me how much do I want to weigh. That is such an odd question for me to answer. I dont know. I have been morbidly obese my whole life, I dont even know what it feels like to be under 280lbs. I told him that I would imagine I would be comfortable between 180-210lbs (overweight and borderline obese). He told me that if I stayed in that range for the rest of my life he would be happy.
Fast forward, I am now 240lbs and I feel like I carry my weight really well. When I look in the mirror and think I still have more than 60lbs to lose to hit a "healthy" weight, I dont even like the idea of being that size. I feel like I will be more comfortable after losing another 30-40lbs MAX.
So back to the question, is it ok to be ok with an overweight number on the scale?
Fast forward, I am now 240lbs and I feel like I carry my weight really well. When I look in the mirror and think I still have more than 60lbs to lose to hit a "healthy" weight, I dont even like the idea of being that size. I feel like I will be more comfortable after losing another 30-40lbs MAX.
So back to the question, is it ok to be ok with an overweight number on the scale?
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Replies
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Can you unpack more what you mean by "ok"?
Like, are you asking if it's acceptable to others if you're okay with an overweight number? Are you asking if you will be free from consequences for extra weight? Or is there another dimension to this question?
I feel like this is almost like someone asking me (an avid reader) if it's okay not to want to read. I can't imagine my life that way, but other people don't have to live their lives to my preferences.
So am *I personally* okay with you feeling comfortable being overweight? Yeah, I'm fine with it. It's not for me, but there are parts of my life that probably aren't for you.14 -
I didn't know what I didn't know.
Meaning - I didn't know how good I'd feel at a healthy (not overweight) weight. I had only been overweight for a few years, but I'd forgotten how it felt to not have that "ugh" feeling when I looked in a mirror. I had forgotten how it felt to have energy and to be able to move around in the world without physical discomfort.
I had forgotten in those few years how nice it is to go into a store, pick up some clothes and then feel good about how I look in them.
I forgot what it was like to not be the fat person in the pictures.
I personally would not go back. You do you, boo.12 -
My personal opinion. Yes, it's perfectly okay. If you're happy and healthy at that weight, then it's okay to be okay with it. Now I also know that this is a hot button topic and I'm sure others will post disagreeing with me. Is your blood pressure okay? Blood sugar? Other lab values? LDL, HDL, etc. If so, then I think it's all about being happy and happiness is a very personal experience. I remember thinking I was overweight when I was at 170/180 and desperately trying to lose weight, which led me to yo yo diet and end up close to 300 pounds. I'd give anything to go back to those days and never feel like I needed to lose weight because now I really do HAVE to lose the weight, my blood pressure is high and my blood sugar is getting high as well.
I've been told I need to hit 150 to not be considered overweight anymore. But I'm with you, once I feel happy with what I see in the mirror and once my health problems have resolved, I'm going to be okay, regardless of what number is on the scale.6 -
Ok for a little clarification. Losing 40 more pounds will put me at a ~8 pant size (total guess but right now I am in a size 12 at 240lbs) but still overweight. When I tell people that I only really want to get to a size 8-10 i get the reaction of why not keep going and be a size 2-4. Well maybe because I dont want to be a size 2-4. I am very active and have zero health problems. At my highest my only health issue was sleep apnea and that got resolved many pounds ago so I am in perfect health.
I keep getting this reaction that it's really not ok to stop losing weight when you are comfortable but that everyone's goal should be to be super skinny. I think a size 8 is pretty damn small and I dont think that I would want to be smaller then that. Maintaining a healthy diet and activity level is more important factor to maintaining my health.10 -
First of all, congratulations! You have done an amazing job so far and you are already going to be so much healthier than if you had stayed at your previous weight.
The numbers on the BMI chart are based on statistical health risks. The thing about statistics is they are averages across a large number of people. So while most people will have a lower risk of illness at a lower weight, you could be the exception. You have already dropped from morbid obesity into just regular obese, which is huge improvement in terms of health risk.
Speaking for myself, I have found that BMI accurately represents my ability to function and do activities. When I was morbidly obese I couldn't walk around a store without getting tired, and I got diabetes. When I hit regular obese I was comfortable walking and doing light exercise, but running and jumping were beyond me, and I couldn't easily do a lot of mat exercises because my big belly got in the way when I bent. When I was overweight, those things became possible, and when I hit normal weight, they became much easier. I'm at the top end of normal now, and I can tell that I am still too heavy to be my best at running, and I still can't do pull ups. For me at least BMI is very accurate.
In terms of clothing, being able to shop anywhere is such an improvement. I wanted to buy clothes for a Christmas present for someone who is a 2x, and shopping for her reminded me how truly awful clothing shopping used to be for myself. I said, oh she loves that, I will get her one like mine. Nope, not made in 2x! In fact none of the places I shop for myself carried anything pretty in 2x. The freedom to just walk into any store and select clothes based on what you like, not on what fits you, is not to be overlooked.
You don't have to decide now, get down to overweight and see what you think then.7 -
Ok for a little clarification. Losing 40 more pounds will put me at a ~8 pant size (total guess but right now I am in a size 12 at 240lbs) but still overweight. When I tell people that I only really want to get to a size 8-10 i get the reaction of why not keep going and be a size 2-4. Well maybe because I dont want to be a size 2-4. I am very active and have zero health problems. At my highest my only health issue was sleep apnea and that got resolved many pounds ago so I am in perfect health.
I keep getting this reaction that it's really not ok to stop losing weight when you are comfortable but that everyone's goal should be to be super skinny. I think a size 8 is pretty damn small and I dont think that I would want to be smaller then that. Maintaining a healthy diet and activity level is more important factor to maintaining my health.
You should feel comfortable picking your own goal weight, the one that balances your health, where you feel physically comfortable, how you like to look, and *what is sustainable for you to maintain*. A size 8 sounds perfectly reasonable to me, I don't think you should go smaller just to satisfy other people.
And know it's always okay to change your mind. I thought I was going to be happy when I reached a certain weight. I hit it and I was happy . . . but I thought I could lose more and I wanted to, so I did. It's okay to have a goal weight now and a different one later (not that you will, just that it can change over time like any goal might).5 -
Sure, it's okay.
It might not be as healthy as being in the not overweight range (or closer to it), but it is SO much healthier than where you were, and genetics and other lifestyle things are going to play a big role in health anyway. If you feel more comfortable at your current weight, or like it would be easier to maintain, that's perfectly fine, and really no one else's opinion should matter -- maybe talk to your doctor, but your decision.
That said, you MAY find that after being at your current weight for a while you do want to lose more, and then perhaps a little more and so on and end up closer to the original goal range -- that happens too, and you've had a very big change and are getting used to a very different looking and feeling body, I expect. And depending on your activity, you may find you have other reasons to lose or focus on other bodily changes.
Main thing is, it's up to you.6 -
Congratulations on your major weight loss. I understand entirely where you're coming from. You've made a huge improvement in your life already, and the most important thing is that you maintain that victory. Is it "ok"? By what metric? As far as I know, you're an adult and you live in a free society. What you want to do with your life is really not anyone else's to determine the value of the trade-offs involved. You don't need our permission, or your doctor's permission.
But here's my experience, and I don't know if this will give you another perspective or not. I'm 5'9" as well, and I started at 270 lbs. I had no clear end goal when I started losing weight, but I remember how much better I felt at 240 than at 270. I did remember being thinner though... and I knew that the extra weight was putting strain on my joints. So I said "well, I'll keep going, at least down to no longer obese". I didn't know if I'd keep going after that, if it'd be worth it. But it wasn't actually that hard. That 500 calories deficit meant I was still getting about 2000 calories a day, which wasn't really depriving myself at all.
By 220 I could feel a difference again. It was easier to walk. Everything hurt less. I didn't realize how much I'd hurt at 270 or 240 until I could look back from 220 and it was illuminating. I guess the reason is that the chronic pain of carrying that excess weight is a constant thing, its easy to just feel like its normal when its not. I kept going, because maintaining that deficit wasn't hard. And because I realized that I could relieve more stress from my back and knees and hips and heart. Just physics going on there... the more you weigh, the more force lands on your joints when you walk.
At 200 I discovered that sleeping was more comfortable. My asthma attacks were less frequent. Walking was even easier. I felt like I looked good again. Not like "oh my gosh look at that girl!" hot but I liked my curvy figure. I was 100% ok with how I looked. And I was just under "obese". My doctor was pretty happy with my progress, and wanted me to know if I maintained that weight I'd already made a great difference. I took stock again, and I realized that maintaining my weight loss at 1 lb/ week still wasn't difficult. Because I could move with less pain and exhaustion, I was moving a lot more than I had previously, and I still got to eat about 2000 calories and continue to lose weight. So I decided to take a chance and keep going, reasoning that if I'd felt better at 240 than 270, and 220 than 240, and at 200 than at 220, it was possible that I might feel better at a relatively non-ambitious 185.
That turned out, for me, to be a marvellous decision. I knew by 190 that 180 was entirely possible, and that I wasn't going to hate how i looked. I wasn't going to need to be obsessive or super-deprived to get there or maintain that weight, that it'd all work out ok.
And 180 felt even better than 200. Hiking was easier. Inclines were no big deal that had been a real challenge before. I could do so much more, and looking back it was absolutely incredible to realize how exhausting carrying around that extra 90 lbs had been. Life was way better at 180 for purely physical reason that had nothing to do with how I looked or how I felt about looking. It was only then that I even contemplated continuing to lose weight. I started re-evaluating every 5 lbs. I dropped to a slow rate of loss (1/2 lb per week) because I really didnt' like going under 2000 calories. For me , it turned out that I was at a very sustainable balance of food & exercise there (10-14k steps / day, 2000 calories). This fit into my life.
So settling in on the lifestyle I could sustain and enjoy really determined where my end weight would be. Which is, oddly enough, a previously unimagined 155-157 lbs maintenance. I never in a million years dreamed that I'd be this weight. I couldn't have possibly wrapped my mind on it at 270, or 240, or even 200 lbs. But I can tell you in retrospect that it's SO much easier to do everything at this weight. Except maybe buy clothes. It turns out that when you drop into size small clothes they're also shorter. C'est la vie. I guess we can't have everything.
This was a long story, but I want to let you know that for me, being larger involved accepting chronic pain and exhaustion as a result of my weight. A direct result of my weight. And I didn't realize how much pain and exhaustion I'd accepted as "normal" for me until I no longer had to live with it. I don't live in your body, but that stress is a matter of biomechanics, and affects everyone who has susbstantial excess weight. A motivated person can work to be strong and active despite the weight, but they're going to put in more work than they would without that extra 20, 40, 60 lbs. There's no getting around it. And for me, in retrospect, well, I wish I'd realized how much easier life was without having to carry that excess weight everywhere.
But I was "OK" at any weight. 270. 240. 220. 200. etc. And so are you. Its just a matter of deciding what is a sustainable life for you. Best wishes.
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It seems like people think that because I have the momentum going that I should ride it out to get as skinny as possible but not everyone has that goal. I am in perfect health, my ability to do physical activities is not hindered (well maybe im not strong enough for a pull up yet) and I maintain a very healthy lifestyle now. I dont see a problem maintaining once i am in a comfortable state.6
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It's not about "skinny", it's about health problems that arise from being overweight. It's just a fact that there are increased risks the heavier you get. You're perfectly healthy until you're not. At 220lbs my blood pressure was borderline a problem.
I am now a healthy waist size, very fit and smaller just about than I have ever been as an adult. But I am still overweight and whilst I really like the way I look in clothes I changed my goals. I always thought I'd get to a bit above where I am now but reassessed. I have aesthetic goals for sure but I also have being a fit badass goals too and the smaller I get the more I achieve. It's just easier moving a 150lb body about than a 180lb body.
But none of this should dictate what you decide to do. It's your body, your life, your health. You have to get to a place where everything falls into place for you and you can maintain it.7 -
Congratulations on your major weight loss. I understand entirely where you're coming from. You've made a huge improvement in your life already, and the most important thing is that you maintain that victory. Is it "ok"? By what metric? As far as I know, you're an adult and you live in a free society. What you want to do with your life is really not anyone else's to determine the value of the trade-offs involved. You don't need our permission, or your doctor's permission.
But here's my experience, and I don't know if this will give you another perspective or not. I'm 5'9" as well, and I started at 270 lbs. I had no clear end goal when I started losing weight, but I remember how much better I felt at 240 than at 270. I did remember being thinner though... and I knew that the extra weight was putting strain on my joints. So I said "well, I'll keep going, at least down to no longer obese". I didn't know if I'd keep going after that, if it'd be worth it. But it wasn't actually that hard. That 500 calories deficit meant I was still getting about 2000 calories a day, which wasn't really depriving myself at all.
By 220 I could feel a difference again. It was easier to walk. Everything hurt less. I didn't realize how much I'd hurt at 270 or 240 until I could look back from 220 and it was illuminating. I guess the reason is that the chronic pain of carrying that excess weight is a constant thing, its easy to just feel like its normal when its not. I kept going, because maintaining that deficit wasn't hard. And because I realized that I could relieve more stress from my back and knees and hips and heart. Just physics going on there... the more you weigh, the more force lands on your joints when you walk.
At 200 I discovered that sleeping was more comfortable. My asthma attacks were less frequent. Walking was even easier. I felt like I looked good again. Not like "oh my gosh look at that girl!" hot but I liked my curvy figure. I was 100% ok with how I looked. And I was just under "obese". My doctor was pretty happy with my progress, and wanted me to know if I maintained that weight I'd already made a great difference. I took stock again, and I realized that maintaining my weight loss at 1 lb/ week still wasn't difficult. Because I could move with less pain and exhaustion, I was moving a lot more than I had previously, and I still got to eat about 2000 calories and continue to lose weight. So I decided to take a chance and keep going, reasoning that if I'd felt better at 240 than 270, and 220 than 240, and at 200 than at 220, it was possible that I might feel better at a relatively non-ambitious 185.
That turned out, for me, to be a marvellous decision. I knew by 190 that 180 was entirely possible, and that I wasn't going to hate how i looked. I wasn't going to need to be obsessive or super-deprived to get there or maintain that weight, that it'd all work out ok.
And 180 felt even better than 200. Hiking was easier. Inclines were no big deal that had been a real challenge before. I could do so much more, and looking back it was absolutely incredible to realize how exhausting carrying around that extra 90 lbs had been. Life was way better at 180 for purely physical reason that had nothing to do with how I looked or how I felt about looking. It was only then that I even contemplated continuing to lose weight. I started re-evaluating every 5 lbs. I dropped to a slow rate of loss (1/2 lb per week) because I really didnt' like going under 2000 calories. For me , it turned out that I was at a very sustainable balance of food & exercise there (10-14k steps / day, 2000 calories). This fit into my life.
So settling in on the lifestyle I could sustain and enjoy really determined where my end weight would be. Which is, oddly enough, a previously unimagined 155-157 lbs maintenance. I never in a million years dreamed that I'd be this weight. I couldn't have possibly wrapped my mind on it at 270, or 240, or even 200 lbs. But I can tell you in retrospect that it's SO much easier to do everything at this weight. Except maybe buy clothes. It turns out that when you drop into size small clothes they're also shorter. C'est la vie. I guess we can't have everything.
This was a long story, but I want to let you know that for me, being larger involved accepting chronic pain and exhaustion as a result of my weight. A direct result of my weight. And I didn't realize how much pain and exhaustion I'd accepted as "normal" for me until I no longer had to live with it. I don't live in your body, but that stress is a matter of biomechanics, and affects everyone who has susbstantial excess weight. A motivated person can work to be strong and active despite the weight, but they're going to put in more work than they would without that extra 20, 40, 60 lbs. There's no getting around it. And for me, in retrospect, well, I wish I'd realized how much easier life was without having to carry that excess weight everywhere.
But I was "OK" at any weight. 270. 240. 220. 200. etc. And so are you. Its just a matter of deciding what is a sustainable life for you. Best wishes.
I could have written this post! Well, most of it... haven't made it to 180 yet, but I'm 5'9" and can relate to all of your other milestones. I couldn't agree more with what you've said. You don't really know how "bad" a particular weight is until you've dropped more and feel how much better it is.
I actually had a long break at 240 (not intentionally- just lost focus- but I didn't regain anything for a couple of years). Then the reflux, joint, & mobility issues that had prompted my original weight loss started kicking in again and I knew I needed to get more of the weight off before it became too hard for me to get around. So, at one point, 240 was awesome. A couple of years later, 240 felt terrible, and I think the greater your age (I'm close to 50), the more you start to notice it. I never had awful numbers as far as blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, etc, but they were slowly deteriorating. Going from 240 to 210 cut my cholesterol by 30 points and cut my triglycerides in half and took me from a higher risk cardio category to one of the lowest. The way it felt was also night & day. While I know I've benefited myself a lot, and definitely the most important thing is not regaining, I know 180 would be amazing
I also know (courtesy of arthritis.org) that for every extra lb a person carries, it exerts 4 lbs of extra pressure on the knees, and again, I'd like to take action on that before age catches up with me.
So I would say, if you are feeling weary of your deficit, there's nothing wrong with taking a break. But if you're still focused & comfortable with the process, there's no time like the present! I don't know what your maintenance plans are, but for me, logging is always going to be essential for me to avoid calorie creep, so I wouldn't give that up for sure. Congratulations on your tremendous success so far and wish you well for the future 2 -
VintageFeline wrote: »It's not about "skinny", it's about health problems that arise from being overweight. It's just a fact that there are increased risks the heavier you get. You're perfectly healthy until you're not.
This was exactly my thought. And then when "you're not", it can be much more difficult to do something about it
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OP, I just read your profile, and I don't know how long ago it was written, but it seems like all of your inspiration & motivation to lose weight is still relevant at 240. In fact, it sounds like what I wrote when I was 240! I especially notice the desire to start a family... again, perhaps this is out of date and you have already started a family, but if not, it's worth considering that carrying extra weight can be a hindrance to fertility. It's not at all about the number on the scale or the size of your jeans... it's about the number & quality of the years you can spend with the ones you love 2
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I could have said a lot of the same things you did in your post.
When I started using MFP I was in the 260s (after HW 307) and wanted to get to 220, then 180, and I didn't think I'd ever want to go lower. I have gone lower now and I'm still happy with my body. I don't look skinny like I thought I would at my current weight. You really never know. Even though I'm a lot lighter than I was when I married my husband in 2013, I don't look all that drastically different. Sometimes it's impossible to imagine precisely what we will look like at x weight as so many factors play into that.
Some of my acquaintances (most of them bouncing around a size 12-18 for the past twenty years) don't get why I haven't pursued loss beyond my current size 10...their goals are to be a 2 or 4, 5, 6. It's like they think I stopped too soon and should go for six pack abs and skintight clothes...that's not for me. ***BUT*** I can tell you, after 4 years of maintaining at a size that "people" think isn't quite skinny enough, they'll be a little more impressed by your changes than if you got to a size 5 and then bounced back up almost immediately...which is what A LOT of people do!
I used to be a 22/24 for DECADES and once went up to a 28. As for me? I love the exact size I am currently. My hips and bust tend to stay around the same when I go down to an 8 making it difficult to find clothes that fit (especially dresses, it's like they expect a size 8 lady to be B cup or smaller in a lot of dresses' cut). When I'm in a 10, it's easy...most things fit well without tailoring. Most importantly, I'm healthy at my size 10. Bingo.
My advice is to stop looking to other people for approval on this, barring any doctors with concrete medical reasons you should continue losing beyond your own goals, and you will be much better off.
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It seems like people think that because I have the momentum going that I should ride it out to get as skinny as possible but not everyone has that goal. I am in perfect health, my ability to do physical activities is not hindered (well maybe im not strong enough for a pull up yet) and I maintain a very healthy lifestyle now. I dont see a problem maintaining once i am in a comfortable state.
i'm with the 'sure doesn't matter to me' camp, but it seems like your impetus for this thread was unsolicited input from people in your actual real-world life.
it's not a situation i've been in, but just thought i'd mention that you don't have to tell the rest of the world all about what you're doing. it is basically about you, after all. and you don't have to engage with them if you disagree with whatever they say they'd choose to do in your shoes. ann landers used to advise people to just say 'thank you for your input', and then move things along. the closest parallel i have is when people see fit to tell me how they would manage rheumatoid arthritis if they had it. my first line of managing that unwanted input is not to reveal that i have it in the first place. second line, if it does become known, is to choose an organic (but early as possible) moment to say: 'it's being dealt with between me and my doctor, thank you'.
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Ok for a little clarification. Losing 40 more pounds will put me at a ~8 pant size (total guess but right now I am in a size 12 at 240lbs) but still overweight.
I just needed to say how envious I am - I'm 5'9 and 195 and a snug size 14. When I was 240 I was a 22/24. So I'm very jealous!1 -
Ok for a little clarification. Losing 40 more pounds will put me at a ~8 pant size (total guess but right now I am in a size 12 at 240lbs) but still overweight. When I tell people that I only really want to get to a size 8-10 i get the reaction of why not keep going and be a size 2-4. Well maybe because I dont want to be a size 2-4. I am very active and have zero health problems. At my highest my only health issue was sleep apnea and that got resolved many pounds ago so I am in perfect health.
I keep getting this reaction that it's really not ok to stop losing weight when you are comfortable but that everyone's goal should be to be super skinny. I think a size 8 is pretty damn small and I dont think that I would want to be smaller then that. Maintaining a healthy diet and activity level is more important factor to maintaining my health.
Well I don't think most people who want to be truly healthy want to be "super skinny." That's not healthy either.
I'm totally confused by your sizes though. I weigh 240ish and am wearing sizes 20 - 22, sometimes even 24 depending on the brand - I can't squeeze into an 18 for the life of me - are you in the UK? Clothes sizing is so weird.
To your question - you have to be happy with you. You can't live your life by someone else's so-called standards. Medically however, it may be a different thing. That's something you and your physician will need to answer.
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Ok for a little clarification. Losing 40 more pounds will put me at a ~8 pant size (total guess but right now I am in a size 12 at 240lbs) but still overweight. When I tell people that I only really want to get to a size 8-10 i get the reaction of why not keep going and be a size 2-4. Well maybe because I dont want to be a size 2-4. I am very active and have zero health problems. At my highest my only health issue was sleep apnea and that got resolved many pounds ago so I am in perfect health.
I keep getting this reaction that it's really not ok to stop losing weight when you are comfortable but that everyone's goal should be to be super skinny. I think a size 8 is pretty damn small and I dont think that I would want to be smaller then that. Maintaining a healthy diet and activity level is more important factor to maintaining my health.
Well I don't think most people who want to be truly healthy want to be "super skinny." That's not healthy either.
I'm totally confused by your sizes though. I weigh 240ish and am wearing sizes 20 - 22, sometimes even 24 depending on the brand - I can't squeeze into an 18 for the life of me - are you in the UK? Clothes sizing is so weird.
To your question - you have to be happy with you. You can't live your life by someone else's so-called standards. Medically however, it may be a different thing. That's something you and your physician will need to answer.
I so agree with this. I'm sure there has been a thread on here about what sizes people wear at whatever weight they are. At 190, I was borderline 16-18, now at 130 or so I wear an 8 in most things. I don't ever see myself wearing anything smaller than that.0 -
I'm not sure if I'd be really worried about that until you've lost another 40lbs, then re-assess. I think you are worrying about stuff before you need to.
Now, I personally wouldn't want to be "overweight" on the BMI Scale. I was when I started losing weight and I hated it. 5'11 and 193 I was a 14/16. I was every so slowly approaching the "women's section". I swore to myself that I'd never hit 200lbs. Ever. And I haven't. After 50lbs of weight loss, I find myself feeling really good in the 140-150lb weight bracket (yes, a 10lb range is large, but for someone of my height, really it's not). In that range I wear a 4 or 6 pant.
I'm not saying anything definitely, but you may find that when you get to a 8/10 that's it's not enough. And that's ok. You keep losing. But you may find that you are very happy, feel great and want to maintain. And that's ok too. If your blood tests are all good, your numbers are fine and you are healthy, then it really doesn't matter what anyone else says.
PS. I'm super jealous of how small you are at such a heavy weight. I'm very curious to how you carry your weight and be 240lbs in a size 12 US.1 -
I know Chico's has really bizarre sizing - all of their clothes are 1, 2, 3, 4 - small, med, large, xl - if I have that correctly - honestly I wish there would be an industry standard. It's very frustrating to know you are size X, but only for brand Y. If you try brand z, you are going to have to wear size X2. LOL
Back in the 1980s, when I weighed about 120lbs, my jeans were a size 10. Now I suppose if I were 120 I'd be wearing a size 4 or 6 - at some point they changed sizes for "vanity" purposes.
I would vote for any President who vows to make women's clothing sizes UNIVERSALLY THE SAME and also swears to force manufacturers to include USEFUL POCKETS in women's pants and blazers. Why do only men's pants and blazers have decent pockets?
Sorry for going off topic - mini rant there. LOL10 -
If you have never been 60 lbs lighter I doubt you can guess how you'll feel at that weight. Just lose until you are happy. It is okay to be happy.7
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The bottom line, is if at the point where you're less than half the person you were before, you decide that you're healthy enough, and happy enough with how you look. Then you're further ahead of the game than someone your same height/weight, who has never been heavier.
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Ok for a little clarification. Losing 40 more pounds will put me at a ~8 pant size (total guess but right now I am in a size 12 at 240lbs) but still overweight. When I tell people that I only really want to get to a size 8-10 i get the reaction of why not keep going and be a size 2-4. Well maybe because I dont want to be a size 2-4. I am very active and have zero health problems. At my highest my only health issue was sleep apnea and that got resolved many pounds ago so I am in perfect health.
I keep getting this reaction that it's really not ok to stop losing weight when you are comfortable but that everyone's goal should be to be super skinny. I think a size 8 is pretty damn small and I dont think that I would want to be smaller then that. Maintaining a healthy diet and activity level is more important factor to maintaining my health.
Well I don't think most people who want to be truly healthy want to be "super skinny." That's not healthy either.
I'm totally confused by your sizes though. I weigh 240ish and am wearing sizes 20 - 22, sometimes even 24 depending on the brand - I can't squeeze into an 18 for the life of me - are you in the UK? Clothes sizing is so weird.
To your question - you have to be happy with you. You can't live your life by someone else's so-called standards. Medically however, it may be a different thing. That's something you and your physician will need to answer.
I'm US, I just have always been fortunate and carried my weight well. At my highest I was 398 and was wearing a tight 24 or a loose 26. I think that is another reason why my doctor is ok with me staying in the overweight range.2 -
No one (at least no one shallow) is going to judge you if you decided not to lose after you get to your goal weight and the most important thing is that you are okay and comfortable both mentally and physically with whatever weight you want to be at.
With that being said, speaking for myself, I plan on getting as close as possible to the lower part of the bmi only because I know my family's history: high blood pressure, diabetes, stroke, blood clots, etc.
I am also African-American which means I have higher chances for developing these things. So I have to keep in mind these things because I have already been in the pre-hypertension stage.
I am currently at 241. I started at 283, and I plan on getting between 118-128 because I am 5'3.5 or 5'4. Even though I will be in the normal range at 140, because of the unhealthy conditions I have (high blood pressure, headaches, pain in knees) and my family history, it's not a question that I need to be as low as possible on the bmi spectrum.
But that is just me and it could always change depending on how I feel and what my doctors tell me once I get to 140. My doctors have even told me 170 would be a fine weight to be at because I also carry my weight well for my height, but I personally don't think with my family history, its okay to be overweight (but again its just me).
If you don't have anything to worry about with family history or conditions and you continue to eat healthy and stay active then being slightly overweight won't really be a big deal (imo).
Like I said before, you have to be okay with it. No one else.2 -
Ok for a little clarification. Losing 40 more pounds will put me at a ~8 pant size (total guess but right now I am in a size 12 at 240lbs) but still overweight. When I tell people that I only really want to get to a size 8-10 i get the reaction of why not keep going and be a size 2-4. Well maybe because I dont want to be a size 2-4. I am very active and have zero health problems. At my highest my only health issue was sleep apnea and that got resolved many pounds ago so I am in perfect health.
I keep getting this reaction that it's really not ok to stop losing weight when you are comfortable but that everyone's goal should be to be super skinny. I think a size 8 is pretty damn small and I dont think that I would want to be smaller then that. Maintaining a healthy diet and activity level is more important factor to maintaining my health.
I think you're talking to the wrong people...5 -
It seems like people think that because I have the momentum going that I should ride it out to get as skinny as possible but not everyone has that goal. I am in perfect health, my ability to do physical activities is not hindered (well maybe im not strong enough for a pull up yet) and I maintain a very healthy lifestyle now. I dont see a problem maintaining once i am in a comfortable state.
Hell no. My goal is to be able to eat as much as possible at maintenance. If I'm "super skinny" or going for the lower end of the BMI range I'd have to cut a few hundred more calories from my day. No thanks!3 -
@Bekah7482 I feel I am totally in your boat too. Though I am not where you are currently. I started at 394 in June and I currently down to 312. I was a 28 pant. I am now already down to a 20. When I tell people my starting weight they think I am lying. I honestly can't see myself healthy below 200 pounds. While yes when I get there it might be a completely different story but the point of the matter is I just can't see myself getting down to a size 4.
I would like to follow this thread to see the input.2 -
I'm so glad you are in better health hand are happy with your appearance. Bad I don't really have a recommendation for you. But I have something that's maybe worth thinking about. Major weight loss is a very emotional thing. Some people are comfortable hand even exhilarated with big changes but others definitely are not. When we look in the mirror, we might see a radical change that could not be more personal. The emotions can bee a mixture of delight land horror. If you have been heavy "all your life", the prospect of living life as a different looking person can be daunting.
Maybe it would be best for you to pause at your goal weight for a significant period of time, until your eyes hand brain catch up with your weight loss, no matter what momentum is lost or compliments received. In time, you will know what to do.3 -
Congratulations on your major weight loss. I understand entirely where you're coming from. You've made a huge improvement in your life already, and the most important thing is that you maintain that victory. Is it "ok"? By what metric? As far as I know, you're an adult and you live in a free society. What you want to do with your life is really not anyone else's to determine the value of the trade-offs involved. You don't need our permission, or your doctor's permission.
But here's my experience, and I don't know if this will give you another perspective or not. I'm 5'9" as well, and I started at 270 lbs. I had no clear end goal when I started losing weight, but I remember how much better I felt at 240 than at 270. I did remember being thinner though... and I knew that the extra weight was putting strain on my joints. So I said "well, I'll keep going, at least down to no longer obese". I didn't know if I'd keep going after that, if it'd be worth it. But it wasn't actually that hard. That 500 calories deficit meant I was still getting about 2000 calories a day, which wasn't really depriving myself at all.
By 220 I could feel a difference again. It was easier to walk. Everything hurt less. I didn't realize how much I'd hurt at 270 or 240 until I could look back from 220 and it was illuminating. I guess the reason is that the chronic pain of carrying that excess weight is a constant thing, its easy to just feel like its normal when its not. I kept going, because maintaining that deficit wasn't hard. And because I realized that I could relieve more stress from my back and knees and hips and heart. Just physics going on there... the more you weigh, the more force lands on your joints when you walk.
At 200 I discovered that sleeping was more comfortable. My asthma attacks were less frequent. Walking was even easier. I felt like I looked good again. Not like "oh my gosh look at that girl!" hot but I liked my curvy figure. I was 100% ok with how I looked. And I was just under "obese". My doctor was pretty happy with my progress, and wanted me to know if I maintained that weight I'd already made a great difference. I took stock again, and I realized that maintaining my weight loss at 1 lb/ week still wasn't difficult. Because I could move with less pain and exhaustion, I was moving a lot more than I had previously, and I still got to eat about 2000 calories and continue to lose weight. So I decided to take a chance and keep going, reasoning that if I'd felt better at 240 than 270, and 220 than 240, and at 200 than at 220, it was possible that I might feel better at a relatively non-ambitious 185.
That turned out, for me, to be a marvellous decision. I knew by 190 that 180 was entirely possible, and that I wasn't going to hate how i looked. I wasn't going to need to be obsessive or super-deprived to get there or maintain that weight, that it'd all work out ok.
And 180 felt even better than 200. Hiking was easier. Inclines were no big deal that had been a real challenge before. I could do so much more, and looking back it was absolutely incredible to realize how exhausting carrying around that extra 90 lbs had been. Life was way better at 180 for purely physical reason that had nothing to do with how I looked or how I felt about looking. It was only then that I even contemplated continuing to lose weight. I started re-evaluating every 5 lbs. I dropped to a slow rate of loss (1/2 lb per week) because I really didnt' like going under 2000 calories. For me , it turned out that I was at a very sustainable balance of food & exercise there (10-14k steps / day, 2000 calories). This fit into my life.
So settling in on the lifestyle I could sustain and enjoy really determined where my end weight would be. Which is, oddly enough, a previously unimagined 155-157 lbs maintenance. I never in a million years dreamed that I'd be this weight. I couldn't have possibly wrapped my mind on it at 270, or 240, or even 200 lbs. But I can tell you in retrospect that it's SO much easier to do everything at this weight. Except maybe buy clothes. It turns out that when you drop into size small clothes they're also shorter. C'est la vie. I guess we can't have everything.
This was a long story, but I want to let you know that for me, being larger involved accepting chronic pain and exhaustion as a result of my weight. A direct result of my weight. And I didn't realize how much pain and exhaustion I'd accepted as "normal" for me until I no longer had to live with it. I don't live in your body, but that stress is a matter of biomechanics, and affects everyone who has susbstantial excess weight. A motivated person can work to be strong and active despite the weight, but they're going to put in more work than they would without that extra 20, 40, 60 lbs. There's no getting around it. And for me, in retrospect, well, I wish I'd realized how much easier life was without having to carry that excess weight everywhere.
But I was "OK" at any weight. 270. 240. 220. 200. etc. And so are you. Its just a matter of deciding what is a sustainable life for you. Best wishes.
I just wanted to say that this post is SO helpful for those of us slowly moving toward the mysterious land of maintenance. I think the part that struck me the most is that I too had no IDEA what a low weight would mean for me. When you have been obese your entire life, it is impossible to imagine what a reasonable healthy weight is. For example, the only time I have ever been my current weight, I was pre-pubescent and about 5 inches shorter. I have no frame of reference. Choosing a goal weight when you have nothing to base it off of is really just a guessing game. Trial and error, taking it slow, eating enough, and lots of staring at yourself in the mirror.3 -
I think you should be where both you and your doctor are content. I do know that for me to even scrape the top end ot the OK BMI range I really do look a bit scraggy and thin. As someone else has said - BMI is a statistical tool - it was originally designed as a health indicator for populations not individuals. IMHO it has been a bit hijacked by the health insurance industry. As long as you are completely honest with yourself and listen to medical advice, blood tests etc I see no harm in stIcking to a weight which suits you - I suspect I may well settle at a slightly higher BMI myself. Congratulations on your terrific loss so far - more power to your elbow
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