Weight loss and dating

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Hello All,

I currently weigh about 214 pounds at 5 foot 9. Obviously, I'm a husky guy. The last time I dated was several years ago before I gained all this weight. I was 185 and in shape. Part of me thinks trying to date would be fun and would help motivate me to keep losing weight. Another part of me thinks I should try and lose the weight first and then start dating again. Any opinions or suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks,
Andrew
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Replies

  • Warriormonk73
    Warriormonk73 Posts: 38 Member
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    Just be yourself and it will workout in the end.
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
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    We fall in love with people, a certain look is merely why we start getting to know the person.
    For me a sense of humour and a positive can do attitude is the most attractive thing and the reason I've stayed married all these years.
    Start dating, your special someone is out there.
  • ISweat4This
    ISweat4This Posts: 653 Member
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    Just date and enjoy yourself.
  • GOT_Obsessed
    GOT_Obsessed Posts: 817 Member
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    No get started now if you feel emotionally ready. But if you do online dating (that seems to be the new normal) show honest and current pictures.

    Women for the most part like going for walks and it's a great place to talk and visit. I like heavy guys and so do many of my friends so don't let your size stop you. Good luck!
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    I've had crushes and been attracted to guys of all body types, it really doesn't matter that much in the end.
  • JaydedMiss
    JaydedMiss Posts: 4,286 Member
    edited January 2018
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    honestly its refreshing to hear this coming from a man vs a woman. Its sad but nice to know they feel these things sometimes to, You dont hear about it as much.

    Good people will help you move forward and achieve your goals, And goals are constantly evolving. If you wait until you achieve your goal, If your doing it right, Youll be waiting forever. Forever is a long time to go without the support of someone you could have found in the meantime.

    That said i semi actively avoid dating, Guys on dating apps perv out to much its creepy >.< Maybe one day ill listen to my own advice :p goodluck!

    edit: i agree, Confidence is sexy. You dont even sound that big. Unfortunatly our world means 20 pounds on a female can often times be a world changer, While on men its not even something to be thought of twice.
  • ClockWorKitten
    ClockWorKitten Posts: 55 Member
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    I kind of feel the same way ( putting yourself down really) or I think it would be ideal to meet some who is currently trying to lose weight too but I don't know don't have the confidence.
  • FlyingMolly
    FlyingMolly Posts: 490 Member
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    Is there someone you're interested in asking out? I think if you have a connection with someone it would be silly to wait, and if you don't it would be pointless to try to force it. I vote for just trying to be your best self--be kind, be interesting, be active and pay attention--and being open to good things along the way. :)
  • laur357
    laur357 Posts: 896 Member
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    You shouldn’t put your life on hold while you try to lose weight. What if you don’t lose weight? What if you gain weight back in a few years when you go through a stressful period in life? I do think you should be attracted to your partner, but being slightly overweight isn’t a dealbreaker for most people.

    Think beyond dinner dates and bars - save them for after you get to know someone. That way you can enjoy meeting new people without worrying about derailing your weight loss. Free concerts, festivals, museums, hikes, kayaking, coffee - have fun!
  • abbefaria4
    abbefaria4 Posts: 46 Member
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    Thanks everyone for your responses. It's always nice to get the perspective of the MFP community.
  • jayemes
    jayemes Posts: 865 Member
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    When I met my husband he was struggling with his weight. He told me if he got over 200 pounds I should leave him (jokingly)
    He weighed 205 the day we got married and up to a high of 285 in the first 15 years of our marriage.
    He finally got motivated and lost the weight and is happily maintaining 197-199 for the past 2 years. We joke that after 17 years I finally don't have to leave him anymore.
    Go date. The right woman will be the right woman even if you've got a few extra pounds.
  • kabrina30
    kabrina30 Posts: 94 Member
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    When I first started this journey I was casually seeing someone and it became an issue because he constantly wanted to go out to eat! That seemed to be the only thing we ever really did. I was trying so hard to stay on plan but would feel guilty if I didn't want to go out to eat or if I didn't eat enough. I know that is mostly on me, not him, but it made it difficult. When it eventually fizzled out, I admit to being okay with it all because it meant I could now just focus on me again. Decided to not actively look for anything new until I'm closer to being where I want to be weight wise.
  • dadsafrantic
    dadsafrantic Posts: 183 Member
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    go do it.
  • footshoe
    footshoe Posts: 7 Member
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    For years I've been going to work then coming home, I don't even know where to go to meet females and if I'm around any I'm so intimidated I try to make an exit as fast as possible. I think I look like crap and have nothing interesting about me and despite years of trying I can't break the cycle nothing seems to be improving. In fact I don't even think getting in shape is helping at all! Other than improving my physical health. The good news however is I know people who aren't in great shape and also have terrible personalities who are always dating. For the rest of the world it seems fairly natural and simple. I think I must have been a bad person in another life!
  • Jushere018
    Jushere018 Posts: 23 Member
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    I met a guy years ago who was 300+ lbs. I really like him. He was really funny, and just beyond sweet. But he was so negative. I couldn’t deal with all of that. I kept telling him to have confidence in himself, but he never would. He still doesn’t, and isn’t interested in improving his health or fitness either. I’m still friends with him. I wish he would take a chance and try to make himself happy :(