Sober- To be or not to be.

cbirchett58

I have a little bit of a wild side.....I like to go out occasionally and have fun with my friends. I like to drink and smoke (not cigarettes). As everyone knows both of those things usually lead to the munchies, among other things. I have a really hard time saying no. I'm not your average drinker/smoker, I can go months (or longer) without touching either, I don't have an addictive personality, but when I do partake I usually go hard. Both sides of my family has some heavy drinkers in it, especially my dads side. My father was an alcoholic until he died at age 40. I also self-medicate, I know this is the complete wrong thing to do but whenever I get upset or stressed I feel like I need to be ****ed up so I don't have to deal with whatever is going on at the moment. I know a lot of people will say, that only makes it worse it doesn't help. For me it truly does, once I'm over it, I stop drinking/whatever else I'm doing at the moment.

So my question is.....should I completely stop doing either? I'm struggling with the decision because I feel like I don't want to stop, even if I only went out on Fridays or whatever the case may be, would that be too much temptation? Most of the people I hang out with are always going out, or I'm being invited to birthday parties, etc. I feel like it's too hard to say no, but I don't want to miss out either. I want to be completely 100% clean and free of as much toxins as possible, but I don't know how to live that life, I've never been there before. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.