Fear of Success Keeping Me From Losing More Weight?

EatingAndKnitting

rheddmobile wrote: »

jesslla wrote: »

Re: Jujitsu

I have a knee that likes to dislocate. I had major surgery four years ago to stop that, but the problem was so severe that it somewhat limited my range of motion and left me semi-disabled. Believe me, if I were able-bodied I'd sign up for a form of martial arts/self defense, but the risk of serious injury is just too great. Just twisting my knee while getting up out of bed it tries to slip out of place. It's *very* frustrating. I'd love to take up running, but walking for exercise is too much for it most of the time. Oh well. You play the cards you're dealt, and I was born with this.

I've got a knee with no ACL which does the same thing - just likes to slip right on out when swinging my legs out of bed. If you haven't, I really suggest looking into a hinged brace for it. There are braces out there now which you can play full contact sports in, they are very supportive. And not that expensive, compared to a life with limited activity.

I understand the instinctive aspect of wanting to protect yourself from unwanted male attention. However, it's my experience having been both very fat and conventionally attractive at different times in my life that while being conventionally attractive, I get LESS unwanted attention because men are more respectful. Seriously, it's my experience that a high status appearance, which in our culture usually goes with being well dressed and thin, is more effective than fat armor and sloppy clothes, if what you want is to repel predatory types. Of course there are many predators who don't care what a woman looks like, but in general predators are not brave, and a low status person seems like an easier target.

Interesting. I don't get any unwanted attention now, not even when I dyed my hair pink (just a couple comments, and they were respectful)! Maybe I'm worried about nothing. That would be consistent with my brain weasels.

Fflpnari

Im scared to lose weight. I lost a bunch of weight quickly back in 2011. Because I lost it so quickly people around me didn't adjust well. I had a hard time dealing with they way people treated me. Instead of figuring out what to do, i ended up gaining weight...... and everyone quit making those comments.
Since that time Ive lost and gained weight many many many times, every time I get close to the 200lb mark my mind goes crazy and just wants to eat. I think its my bodies way of protecting my self from the same thing that happened before. I lost 126lb in 8 months. That did not happen this time.
I found weight lifting to me the absoulte best thing for my depression. This time I around I feel so much physically stronger I hope that will translate to mental strenght as I get closer to that magic number.

you can do this. go slowly and let your mind adjust

Momepro

Nope . I gave the total opposite issue. I amtoo afraid to fail,vso I have a every hard time giving my best effort. Failing when I've worked really hard sucks WAY more than passing with ok effort

newheavensearth

jesslla wrote: »

newheavensearth wrote: »

What you are saying makes perfect sense.

I'm not afraid of losing weight per say or even success of reaching my goal. I know my healthy weight is in the 120s. As of now Im pushing 150.
I love looking modestly feminine . I love dresses, heels, makeup, wearing my hair long. But there are several issues at hand.

One is that the lower I get in weight the more my relationships with women suffer. I have very few true female friends. My best friend is my daughter, who introduced me to MFP. Not saying this out of ego or narcissism, but getting shamed by relatives is not cool.

There's also the issue of being made to feel uncomfortable about looking feminine. I dress for myself, but when someone is making you feel bad for being yourself you second guess things. I use the weight as a shield. I've stopped wearing makeup, dressing up, and doing my hair because someone was making me feel especially bad. I've also gained 10 lbs over my comfortable weight.

I'm sorry. Your friends and family sound like they kind of suck. *hugs* I hope you can find new friends that love you for you and relish in your success as well as patch things up with your current friends. I don't have many in real life friends either.

I'm sure you're wonderful and I know you don't deserve to be treated like that!

Thanks so much, your words mean a lot