people getting in my head

jquick25

I

lilpoindexter

I would do as your husband says, and cut my ties with them.

chandanista

Definitely cut ties. If you can't do it on your own, you may need to consult a psychologist, see why that is.

Maybe you can adopt a grandparent at the golden age center, if you feel you need someone to look up to who cares about you?

Sperm donation does not a father make.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have several siblings who are adopted because they had similar bio parents. It isn't easy, at any age.

LaBrecheBrah

Really sad story...
But your husband is right.
As I once said about my ex girlfriend:
"I don't desire to spend time and efford in someone that doesn't take my urge for company seriously"

daniellemm1

I cannot relate to your situation but I can say that you seem to be doing just fine on your own. What your father chooses to do is about him and not about you. You are obviously not a priority in his life so maybe he shouldn't be one in yours. Sometimes our own families are not what we need in our lives in order to be emotionally healthy. Find some great friends who will support and encourage you in life. Teach your children about unconditional love. Love yourself and continue to get healthy for yourself and your children. :flowerforyou:

daniellemm1

Sperm donation does not a father make.

So true

HollisGrant

The eating is comfort because of trauma. You might call your local hospital or a church and ask if they know about free support groups or free therapy groups. I don't know if overeaters anonymous is free or not, but you could check them, too. You've been through terrible trauma that it might take years to recover from -- maybe talking with other people who've been through something similar might help you. Best wishes to you.

jquick25

thanks everyone. I have to just let the hope of a family from my side go. i have my husband and my three kids and his family. Its just all my friends have their parents waiting something to do with them and there kids. at 25 though i should be strong enough to say enough is enough. I will look into talking to someone bc i do have a lot of anger toward them.

lauren3101

I also have a bad relationship with my father, with a fairly similar issue, in that he has never taken any interest in me, and flitters in and out of my life when he feels like it, Top that with the fact that he is an aggressive, violent man that abuses women, I made the decision a year ago to cut him out of my life.

It was hard, as I don't have a huge amount of family either, but my partner said to me 'any relationship that is consistently hard work is not a relationship', and he was right. A year on I feel much better for it, and you will too.

Family does not have to mean blood relatives, it is what you make it. You have your husband, your children, and I hope some decent friends.

Take your husbands advice, as he is right. Your father sounds like he brings nothing to the table and just causes you upset. Don't spend the rest of your life being dragged down by that.