Handling the know betters.

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joelchmielak1
joelchmielak1 Posts: 48 Member
in Motivation and Support
What do you all do when confronted by the know betters. Those folks that tell you how great you’re doing, ask what you’re doing, then tell you you’re doing it wrong? For many months I said I’ll check that out or oh good idea, but it’s getting harder. Lately I’m catching myself saying well my results say you’re wrong, but I don’t want to be snarky or sarcastic all the time lol. The one that gets me all the time is not to eat fruit or brown rice. Ugh. Almost a hundred pounds of weight loss says I might have a good idea of what works for me. It’s getting harder the closer to goal I get.

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  • lauracups
    lauracups Posts: 533 Member
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    Truthfully, I've learned to avoid the topic altogether. Minds don't get changed. You keep up the good work and stay with what works for you! !! :)
  • Wendyanneroberts
    Wendyanneroberts Posts: 270 Member
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    I just want to congratulate you on your great results. As @lauracups said, where possible it's best to avoid the subject.
    If others broach the subject, or "then, don't want to listen".
    As you stated your results speak for you, I tend to just say
    "I'm doing what works for me" and leave it at that.
  • Kathryn247
    Kathryn247 Posts: 570 Member
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    I usually say "I eat whatever I want, just count the calories, and it works," and eventually they run out of steam. I think they mean it to be kind and helpful, they just want to share in your success.
    Eventually this will stop, because your weight loss will become "old news" and people will stop commenting entirely. That takes some getting used to, too!
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    Typically if someone says something like that I gauge the type of person they are and what response will work.

    If I think they're actually willing to have a discussion I'll ask if that's something they read somewhere or if it is something they've found is what works for them personally. Then we go from there about calorie counting and personal struggles with moderation.

    If they're just telling you to show they know something and aren't the listening type I say, "Interesting, I've personally found that to not be an issue." I then change the subject.
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
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    Why are people so stupid??? Are they blind??? Why are they not asking you for your ever impressive opinion? You deserve snarky :D
  • 100_PROOF_
    100_PROOF_ Posts: 1,168 Member
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    I do the same as was stated above by usmc . I first try to judge if it's even worth my time to explain or not and take it from there.
    The know it all types are frustrating to deal with for sure and there's plenty of them out there! What I've come to realize is that most of the time they are just bitter contrarians. They'll have a come back for everything that isn't done their way and will pick apart everything just for the sake of picking.
    Choose your battles wisely and try to change the topic. If that doesn't work, let them have it.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
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    joelchmielak1 wrote: »
    For many months I said I’ll check that out or oh good idea, but it’s getting harder.

    yeah; you shouldn't have to pander to intrusive and pushy people. they're the ones being rude, so why should you have to be polite to them? if i like the person or think they're being fairly sincere i might just drop the whole idea of getting any words in for myself, and switch over to totally 'them' mode for a while.

    but i'm severely allergic to people who think they have supervisory rights to my life, and i deeeeeeeply resent being played by that social manipulation that goes 'let me use something you said as a pretext for banging on about me', so i use this universal shut-down phrase that goes 'well that's fine. but that's you' quite a lot.

    basically, try not to get into any engagement with their implicit undermining of you. just close the door like they're jehovah's witnesses and you already have something else planned for the day.
  • mortuseon_
    mortuseon_ Posts: 257 Member
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    You can just say 'I have a plan that has been working for me, but thanks'. No further explanation needed. If they push you further than that, you can explain that you already lost 100 lbs (congrats, btw!) without help. Honestly, though, they don't deserve an explanation. If you want to snarkily shut them down, that is fine. They are being rude.
  • iowalinda
    iowalinda Posts: 354 Member
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    Just smile, say thank you and turn your attention away from them. You don't owe anyone an explanation of your choices. Don't let someone's boorish behavior ruin your day :)
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,467 Member
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    Ditto iowalinda. I do my best to avoid conversations about diet and fitness. When losing my response to questions about how I was doing it was “old fashioned diet and exercise.” And move on.

    Media is loaded with noise about diet and fitness. People hear it and are happy to repeat it. This week’s great idea will be discredited next Monday. Will make you crazy.

    Keep your own counsel.
  • azironasun
    azironasun Posts: 137 Member
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    88olds wrote: »
    Ditto iowalinda. I do my best to avoid conversations about diet and fitness. When losing my response to questions about how I was doing it was “old fashioned diet and exercise.” And move on.

    I tell them, "It's not rocket science. Move more, eat less."
  • lucerorojo
    lucerorojo Posts: 790 Member
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    Just say "thank you" or nod. Let them have their moment if "expert", ignore their advice in your mind, and move on to the next topic.
  • BetterInTheFall
    BetterInTheFall Posts: 16 Member
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    The high road is always the best and smartest road......I am not very smart, I absolutely hate those attitudes and sometimes, when I’m weak, I will challenge them. Usually it only takes dropping a nugget of science on them and they shut up. Seriously, educate yourself so that when the polite response doesn’t work you can defend (I hate using that term) what you are doing. They will never go away and you will always have to listen to how you’re doing it wrong/you look sick/you’ve lost too much......etc. good luck to you. You probably should not listen to my advice.
  • amgreenwell
    amgreenwell Posts: 1,268 Member
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    As with many situations at work I smile, nod and say thanks. Ignoring what they said or in my mind wondering where they come up with this stuff. Keep doing what you are doing!
  • LearningToFly13
    LearningToFly13 Posts: 329 Member
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    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Practice and perfect this response:

    thats-so-interesting-tell-me-more.jpg

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