Letting go of the "All or Nothing" mentality

kimi233

Hi all. I am back on here after two pregnancies that were some what close together. I am at my biggest I've ever been and I'm ready to reclaim my body. I just had baby #5 a month ago, and he's amazing. My biggest problem I deal with is I have a bad attitude of thinking if I don't give something my all I've already screwed it up. Example... if I eat something junky during the day, I say, ah, screw it I already messed today up and continue to eat junk. Or if I am in the worst mood I continue that for days. Another example, is when I work out. Having five kids, and summer break, you can imagine it's a little complicated to devote time to working out with no interruptions. So when I'm working out, and I have to pause it to attend to the kids I get frustrated and feel like what I just did was NOT an accomplishment at all. I know mentally I need to change this way of thinking, and I am working on it, but I thought some others would share my frustrations. I know I need to focus on all the positive things that I am doing RIGHT and not focus on every little thing that I may be doing wrong. Also I would love to have some more support on here also, so please feel free to add me as a friend and we can motivate each other in our healthy lifestyles! Thanks for reading, have a wonderful day!!

lgl003

I used to be the same way when it came to working out. If I was doing a workout DVD at home and my son interrupted my workout I felt as if what I had done was a total waste of time. My solution for that was to just run at the park everyday while he played. I know that might be kind of difficult w/ five kids but I'm definitely here if you need support. About to send you a request :-)

Pearsquared

I actually learned this from my Japanese teacher (who was a very hard grader), but it's helped me some. Instead of thinking of the whole workout and 100% and subtracting from there, think of it as points towards a total. Instead of working out at 60%, you've gained 60 points of workout! That can really add up over the course of a week. With food, think of the "bad" as more of a neutral, and instead of think of the "good" as par for the course, commend yourself for making the right choices.

I know it's easier said than done, but if you consciously think of it this way as much as possible, it becomes easier.

neandermagnon

I actually learned this from my Japanese teacher (who was a very hard grader), but it's helped me some. Instead of thinking of the whole workout and 100% and subtracting from there, think of it as points towards a total. Instead of working out at 60%, you've gained 60 points of workout! That can really add up over the course of a week. With food, think of the "bad" as more of a neutral, and instead of think of the "good" as par for the course, commend yourself for making the right choices.

I know it's easier said than done, but if you consciously think of it this way as much as possible, it becomes easier.

I like this mentality.

OP: I wrote this blog post about self efficacy, which is strongly related to how much you give yourself credit to the success you achieve... it might help: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/neandermagnon it's not directly related to all or nothing thinking, but if you are thinking that one small slip = total failure, then that is related to poor self efficacy, so the blog post may help from that point of view.

kimi233

I loved the responses. Thank you, I really needed to read that!!

Francl27

That's why you log. Honestly, it's worked for me. I just log everything and keep myself accountable this way, plus it lets me see that yeah, I had a 150 calories ice cream cone, but I still have 500 calories for a healthy dinner etc. Having treats guilt-free because they fit in my calories has actually made the whole process so much easier.