Surgical Menopause Management, Tips and Support?

Quasita

Hello!
A little background... I'm 35 years old. I started losing weight with MFP at a HW of 535lbs doing just diet and exercise. As I lost weight, I developed very painful and recurrent PCOS type symptoms that seemed to correlate to my weight loss efforts and routinely delayed my progress, requiring more surgeries and delays to everything. After a few years, I had made limited progress and we finally decided to do a gastric bypass in November 2016, and I seriously hoped that if I lost again and triggered another PCOS type event, it would be towards the end of my loss, not in the middle.

Well, about a year out from my RNY, symptoms came to a head and they confirmed by ultrasound, then IR drainage, that I again had yet another cyst and mind you, I had 3 present when I had my RNY performed. It felt neverending. My specialist told me she didn't think she could guarantee surgical removal of this cyst without destroying the ovary, and I finally told her fine, just take the ovary. I lost the left ovary in 2013, and signed on to lose the right last week, and with the second one gone, we removed the uterus and cervix as a means to avoid future complications.

Not going to lie, I'm struggling, but not in the way I expected. The pain isn't as bad as I thought it would be, and I have had nothing in the lines of hot flashes or anything like that, the classic menopause symptoms that typically hit a woman my age without premenopause state that has no kids... but I'm struggling with feelings of regret and very emotional feelings of being permanently broken and unworthy of acceptance. My depression-like problems in the past have been directly related to hormone problems; I have not been placed on hormone replacement therapy at this time because of my sensitivity documented from past treatment attempts. I chose to delay HRT if not completely refuse it, based on symptoms.

So basically, now I sit, a week out, dealing with waves of regret and "what the F did I do?" because I feel bad and left alone to my thoughts. Let alone the fear that this will greatly impact the progress I've made from a weight loss perspective. Does anyone have any tips? I'm open to things that you may have had to do to adjust diet after doing this... Things that seemed to help mitigate emotional effects without relying heavily on psychiatric medications... stuff like that. Even better if I can connect with people in a similar situation as I've yet to meet another person that has PCOS triggered by weight loss and made worse by their progress, where their fertility was the cost of weight loss, rather than something gained.

Thanks

Fitnessgirl0913

Have you considered talking to a professional about your feelings? Unfortunately I don't think many of us here have much to offer except support for your situation

AnnPT77

I won't say I know how you feel; I don't. But, as a childless woman, I did experience chemotherapy induced menopause, augmented by an anti-estrogen drug regimen, after bilateral mastectomies for breast cancer treatment, so I've been in a nearby space. My heart goes out to you - (((hugs))).

I would second the idea that this is time for help from a qualified professional. We should consult them without fear or stigma, just as we might consult physical therapists, personal trainers, and the like when needed.

Until you can get there - and I know this may sound silly - the only thing I can suggest would be a simple nonreligious meditation technique. That kind of thing has helped me in the past with circling thoughts.

There's a set of instructions for one here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/heart-and-soul-healing/201303/dr-herbert-benson-s-relaxation-response

Wishing you speedily on a path beyond these challenges!

shellma00

I recently had a total hysterectomy with bilateral oophorectomy as a preventative measure. I am 38 years old. I had genetic testing done last year that confirmed I have Lynch Syndrome. I have not had any regrets just yet, but I would recommend speaking with your Dr. There may be a Hormone that you can take regardless of your past. I had the hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, etc... but I had waited 2 weeks post surgery to start my hormones. The patch did not work for me as I was allergic to the adhesive, but the oral meds are helping a lot.

Speak with your Dr is my suggestion. Good Luck to you!

Quasita

I'm coming back to this post a little late, but thank you for responding. I already have a therapist, and I've had one for quite some time because I believe it's a vital part of handling weight loss.

As stated in my post, I'm doing everything I can to stay off of HRT, which is hormone replacement therapy. I'm not interested in being on it. My interest was mostly focused on trying to connect with others that hit this phase earlier than "normal" in life, and managing weight loss after the fact since it can have some serious impacts to your metabolism. I did speak about regret in my post, but I consider grief a very normal part of the process, I'm not worried about it, because I'm already pretty well past it

Anyway, thanks again for responding. Unfortunately, if I do have to go on HRT (it will be discussed for the first time tomorrow) I will have to do patches and it'll be low dose because of the past situation for me. I guess I just wanted to see if I wasn't alone but sounds like I kinda am haha!