I'm having a hard time finding a time to work out :(

I've been trying to condition myself to workout in the morning and been slowly moving my wake up time to 4am so that I can get to the office, use the gym here, shower etc, and not waste a lot of time traveling between the office and the gym.

BUT OMG it's so hard!. I am officially waking up at like 4:45am. *head on desk* but I HAVE to be at work by 7am. By the time I get home at night, get the kiddo fed and in bed I'm bushed. I barely have enough energy to clean the house, clean me and get ready for the next day. (Fwiw, dh drops off, I pick up. We are both working long hours right now)

Anyone else have this conundrum. How do you get around it?
I cut out caffiene out of my diet about 2mths ago because of the effect it was having on my sleep so that's not an option. Sleep is much better and I'm actually having a BETTER time getting up. But I'm still not quite making it. It's all so frustrating.
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Replies

  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,363 Member
    did you change your username? Or am I just completely unobservant?

    And, you can only do what you can do. Maybe give yourself a little break and a pat on the back. I don't exercise every day. Take a 10 minute walk on your break or at lunch. There are only so many hours...
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    I would consider a day when I'm working out, working, caring for a child, cleaning the house, and getting ready for the next day to be a day that would leave me "bushed" at the end. I'm usually tired when I go to bed and I don't even have a kid. When you're active, I think it's *okay* to be really tired at the end of the day . . . I know I am. My husband will laugh at me sometimes because I'll be getting into bed and talking about how I'm too tired to even go to sleep.

    Is it possible to move some of your cleaning to the weekends? That's what I did and it helped a lot.
  • jsminer827
    jsminer827 Posts: 62 Member
    I stink at getting up early in the morning - I have the best of intentions, but my body just does not like to be up before 5:30 AM. I usually go to bed around 9:30 PM (which I think is pretty reasonable after getting the kids, making dinner, baths, bedtime routine, yadda yadda... and prepping for the next day). But I have found that even if I get to bed earlier, I still don't wan to crawl out of bed earlier! Consequently I go to the gym after work a few days a week - I don't know what you and your husband do for work, but would that be an option? Switch off a couple of pick-ups, let him handle dinner so you can hit the gym twice a week? I also admit to saving my cleaning mostly for Saturday mornings and then my reward is "getting out to play" after lunch... it works well to organize my boys around that too - it's just part of the routine now. During the week the only thing that happens are dishes and a load or two of laundry. All major cleaning and ironing is Saturdays only.

    No doubt it is hard with young kids and hectic schedules - I feel your pain!
  • maybe1pe
    maybe1pe Posts: 529 Member
    I don't have kids and like others have said I think going to bed tired after an active lifestyle like that is completely normal. I go to bed exhausted and I only have to run around after myself.

    Instead of the gym every morning could you take walks on your breaks at work? Do a short home video or something a couple days a week after work? Get the kids involved, depending on their age of course, but I know my nieces love to workout with me, the youngest one likes the be used as my weights, the older one likes to do yoga with me. Then you don't have to get up as early, might have more energy after work and get to involve them in learning healthy habits, just an idea.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    I go on my lunch break and I lift so I'm not super sweaty since I don't have time to shower after. I typically take my lunch break late in the work day that way if I do get a bit sweaty I don't have to sit around and feel stinky for long.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    Could you get a quick walk in during lunch break?

    If the exercise is for weight loss purposes, in reality just watching food intake is all that's required. Exercise creates more calorie deficit but isn't essential for weight loss but it is good for heart health.
  • MishellKay
    MishellKay Posts: 24 Member
    I agree with CMRiverside... if the morning doesn't work out, then take a walk at lunch or on break. My job is at a desk so, every opportunity I have to get up I do and I use the stairs every day! It is difficult to MAKE time that is really just for you, but you are worth that time... do not make yourself the last priority!
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    I think the NEAT group initiative was great - in fact, I was going to suggest something like that, then I saw it was you - and I'm debating if I should ask to join - try to pack exercise into your everyday life instead of carving out time to explicitly exercise. Can you do some travelling or errands on foot? Play with kiddo?
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    how much and what kind of exercise are you trying to do? Like what are you trying to do that is going to require being up a 4 AM when you have to be to work at 7...that's 3 hours.

    My wife and I work and have kids and are really busy...we don't typically go to the gym during the week..my wife lifts once per week on Friday afternoon at the gym and I lift on Friday afternoon and Sunday morning. During the week my wife will typically either go for a morning run or run at lunch...during the work week she keeps it to a 5K basically...so about 30 minutes jogging Monday - Friday and a 10K on Saturday.

    I typically ride in the evening when I get home from work...usually a 30 minute interval session on my indoor trainer...and now it's starting to stay light out a bit later so I've gotten in a couple of 30-40 minute rides out on the road. I typically do a bit longer ride on the weekend.

    I basically focus on getting about 30 minutes of exercise activity most days of the week (unless I'm specifically training for something)...if I get more, it's gravy. I love to ride in general, but one of the great things about it is that I don't have to get up and go anywhere...I just open the garage door and go ride.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I have a step goal that I try to reach each day and I do short workouts off of you tube (10-30 minutes) instead of going to a gym. I don't have lofty fitness goals. Sleep and time with family are more important to me than exercise.

    What are your goals? What are you doing at the gym?
    Can you do something different for exercise that you can fit in to your day in smaller chunks or do at home?
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,281 Member
    This might be the time in your life when regular exercise isn't 5 days a week at the gym. Fitting in workouts with young kids and full time work and a marriage is a huge challenge. When I was at this point in my life, it would have been helpful if I'd known that most of the work of losing weight happens in the kitchen. I thought I HAD to work out. That said, if your workouts are for cardiovascular health, strength, meditation, etc, then it is important to find the time. Maybe it won't work every day. Shoot for two days a week and see how it goes. I think from reading your post that you're already getting a lot into your day. Don't beat yourself up. It's hard work doing everything you're doing... ;)
  • tmoneyag99
    tmoneyag99 Posts: 480 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    how much and what kind of exercise are you trying to do? Like what are you trying to do that is going to require being up a 4 AM when you have to be to work at 7...that's 3 hours.

    My wife and I work and have kids and are really busy...we don't typically go to the gym during the week..my wife lifts once per week on Friday afternoon at the gym and I lift on Friday afternoon and Sunday morning. During the week my wife will typically either go for a morning run or run at lunch...during the work week she keeps it to a 5K basically...so about 30 minutes jogging Monday - Friday and a 10K on Saturday.

    I typically ride in the evening when I get home from work...usually a 30 minute interval session on my indoor trainer...and now it's starting to stay light out a bit later so I've gotten in a couple of 30-40 minute rides out on the road. I typically do a bit longer ride on the weekend.

    I basically focus on getting about 30 minutes of exercise activity most days of the week (unless I'm specifically training for something)...if I get more, it's gravy. I love to ride in general, but one of the great things about it is that I don't have to get up and go anywhere...I just open the garage door and go ride.

    I want to get into weight lifting. The thing is I'm a professional (read desk job) and work about 35-40minutes from home without traffic. Traffic is horrible by 6am. SO I figure if I get up at 4am. Out bu 4:30am. At the gym by 5:00 workout for 30 -45minutes. Get ready (I'm a girl) and be at my desk primed and ready to go by 7am.

    I get off of work by 4pm so I can rush home, beat rush hour, and get kiddo in bed by 7p (he's 3). Pick up the house, pack lunches for the next day. Crash into bed because I'm depleted. I don't know what I'm doing wrong
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    Can you prioritize a bit more? Do you have to clean house EVERY night? When things are really busy for me (usually because of my kids' schedules), I'll sometimes bite the bullet and leave dinner cleanup, dishes, vacuuming, whatever for another time so I can get to bed a bit earlier.

    Regarding the caffeine... if you have a little hit first thing in the morning, does that still affect your sleep? There's no reason you have to have caffeine throughout the day. Of course, ask Axel once said... "I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it so a little got more and more" so that's something to watch out for.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    There are 168 hours in a week. Chart out where you are currently spending your time and prioritize working out.

    My wife gets up at 3:45 to run for 30 mins and hit TRX at 4:30. Gets to work 6am-3pm and picks up our 3 kids. I get up at 5am and do 30 mins of calisthenics or run (yay home treadmill!) get the kids up at 6:30 - do a quick 15 min calisthenic session with them, get them ready, and drop them off at school/daycare at 7:45. Get to work 8:30am - 6pm. I hit the gym after work most nights for 30 mins doing resistance training and then home for dinner and family meeting time. All this juggled between Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, piano lessons, martial arts, seasonal sports...

    You can do it - just budget your time.



  • tmoneyag99
    tmoneyag99 Posts: 480 Member
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Can you prioritize a bit more? Do you have to clean house EVERY night? When things are really busy for me (usually because of my kids' schedules), I'll sometimes bite the bullet and leave dinner cleanup, dishes, vacuuming, whatever for another time so I can get to bed a bit earlier.

    Regarding the caffeine... if you have a little hit first thing in the morning, does that still affect your sleep? There's no reason you have to have caffeine throughout the day. Of course, ask Axel once said... "I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it so a little got more and more" so that's something to watch out for.

    That's kind of my problem with the caffeine. My family has issues with addiction and Caffeine luckily is mine. I used to consume as many as 1500mg's a day. I'm off of it and I'm not going back. It's been a good thing for me. REALLY good. Just as an illustration, I used caffeine as a coping mechanism for stress. When I was stressed I would drink coffee and feel calm, but then couldn't focus. So as you can see, it's really not an option for me. It's a weird and ridiculous and embarrassing addiction to have. But considering I *crave* it when I wake in the morning or when I'm in a stressful situation. I am just thankful my addiction was an easy one to break. So I think I'm just going to stick to lemon water for now.
  • tmoneyag99
    tmoneyag99 Posts: 480 Member
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    There are 168 hours in a week. Chart out where you are currently spending your time and prioritize working out.

    My wife gets up at 3:45 to run for 30 mins and hit TRX at 4:30. Gets to work 6am-3pm and picks up our 3 kids. I get up at 5am and do 30 mins of calisthenics or run (yay home treadmill!) get the kids up at 6:30 - do a quick 15 min calisthenic session with them, get them ready, and drop them off at school/daycare at 7:45. Get to work 8:30am - 6pm. I hit the gym after work most nights for 30 mins doing resistance training and then home for dinner and family meeting time. All this juggled between Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, piano lessons, martial arts, seasonal sports...

    You can do it - just budget your time.

    Thanks for sharing! This is definitely inspiring.
  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    tmoneyag99 wrote: »
    jjpptt2 wrote: »
    Can you prioritize a bit more? Do you have to clean house EVERY night? When things are really busy for me (usually because of my kids' schedules), I'll sometimes bite the bullet and leave dinner cleanup, dishes, vacuuming, whatever for another time so I can get to bed a bit earlier.

    Regarding the caffeine... if you have a little hit first thing in the morning, does that still affect your sleep? There's no reason you have to have caffeine throughout the day. Of course, ask Axel once said... "I used to do a little but a little wouldn't do it so a little got more and more" so that's something to watch out for.

    That's kind of my problem with the caffeine. My family has issues with addiction and Caffeine luckily is mine. I used to consume as many as 1500mg's a day. I'm off of it and I'm not going back. It's been a good thing for me. REALLY good. Just as an illustration, I used caffeine as a coping mechanism for stress. When I was stressed I would drink coffee and feel calm, but then couldn't focus. So as you can see, it's really not an option for me. It's a weird and ridiculous and embarrassing addiction to have. But considering I *crave* it when I wake in the morning or when I'm in a stressful situation. I am just thankful my addiction was an easy one to break. So I think I'm just going to stick to lemon water for now.

    Bigger picture, that seems like the right call.
  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,383 Member
    Is using your lunch hour an option? I go to the gym on my lunch-break, as I have zero motivation to wake up earlier or go to the gym in the evening. I get a solid 40 minute workout. I don't bother showering - I don't sweat a lot and my makeup is waterproof, so I just go back to work a little "dewy" for the afternoon. :D
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    I work out after work. I do so much for my family. I spend almost all my time either working or taking care of my family that I tell myself it’s ok to take an hour a few times a week to just take care of myself. I feel like my husband gets irritated sometimes because when I workout after work it’s delaying dinner being made or cutting into his pooping time because he’s home with the toddler (lmao) but I try to just make myself not feel bad. I think I’m a natural empath and worry too much about making everyone else happy instead of myself. You don’t have to spend a lot of time cleaning. Just a little bit here and there keeps the house manageable. Make exercise a priority.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,281 Member
    I can't imagine getting up at 3:45 or 4:00am to work out. I'm amazed at people who can do that. Even getting up at 5:30 is unmanageable for me. I would have to be in bed by before my kids... You're not doing anything "wrong," you just need to look at your week and see where you can fit in some time. Figure out what works for you. If you can pull off a night with 5-6 hours of sleep (and still function the next day-this is where it falls apart for me), then see if you can start small and work in more as it becomes more routine.
  • macgurlnet
    macgurlnet Posts: 1,946 Member
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    There are 168 hours in a week. Chart out where you are currently spending your time and prioritize working out.

    My wife gets up at 3:45 to run for 30 mins and hit TRX at 4:30. Gets to work 6am-3pm and picks up our 3 kids. I get up at 5am and do 30 mins of calisthenics or run (yay home treadmill!) get the kids up at 6:30 - do a quick 15 min calisthenic session with them, get them ready, and drop them off at school/daycare at 7:45. Get to work 8:30am - 6pm. I hit the gym after work most nights for 30 mins doing resistance training and then home for dinner and family meeting time. All this juggled between Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, piano lessons, martial arts, seasonal sports...

    You can do it - just budget your time.



    I think this is really good advice.

    I just have myself and a cat to look over, but I've definitely used this kind of a strategy to budget my time at work. You may find it helpful to write down your day and mark out the things that are truly not negotiable, like the amount of time you spend getting to/from work & at work and the amount of sleep you need.

    Is eating at your desk OK? If so, what about doing your lifting during your lunch break? You may not be able to do the exact routine you'd like, but there's adjustments that could be made.

    I totally hear you about how tough it is - I wish you the best in sorting it out!!

    ~Lyssa
  • Keto_N_Iron
    Keto_N_Iron Posts: 5,385 Member
    It's hard but you just have to do it. Once I got into lifting it was so much easier to get up because I LOVE it. and early mornings are the only time I have. I'm up at 420am used to be 445am but I need more time in the gym now! I assure you that if you just force yourself to do it after a couple of weeks it get easier. you just have to decide if you want it bad enough. it boils down to a decision and your determination to make it work. But once you do and it becomes habit it WILL be easier.
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    You and every other parent has the same problem (my kids are young adults now and I'm reveling in the amount of free time I have) it all comes down to priorities and time management. I know a lot of parents feel selfish setting aside "me time" to exercise but the bottom line is that a healthier, happier parent is also a better parent and it sets a great example for the kids.

  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    edited January 2018
    tmoneyag99 wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    how much and what kind of exercise are you trying to do? Like what are you trying to do that is going to require being up a 4 AM when you have to be to work at 7...that's 3 hours.

    My wife and I work and have kids and are really busy...we don't typically go to the gym during the week..my wife lifts once per week on Friday afternoon at the gym and I lift on Friday afternoon and Sunday morning. During the week my wife will typically either go for a morning run or run at lunch...during the work week she keeps it to a 5K basically...so about 30 minutes jogging Monday - Friday and a 10K on Saturday.

    I typically ride in the evening when I get home from work...usually a 30 minute interval session on my indoor trainer...and now it's starting to stay light out a bit later so I've gotten in a couple of 30-40 minute rides out on the road. I typically do a bit longer ride on the weekend.

    I basically focus on getting about 30 minutes of exercise activity most days of the week (unless I'm specifically training for something)...if I get more, it's gravy. I love to ride in general, but one of the great things about it is that I don't have to get up and go anywhere...I just open the garage door and go ride.

    I want to get into weight lifting. The thing is I'm a professional (read desk job) and work about 35-40minutes from home without traffic. Traffic is horrible by 6am. SO I figure if I get up at 4am. Out bu 4:30am. At the gym by 5:00 workout for 30 -45minutes. Get ready (I'm a girl) and be at my desk primed and ready to go by 7am.

    I get off of work by 4pm so I can rush home, beat rush hour, and get kiddo in bed by 7p (he's 3). Pick up the house, pack lunches for the next day. Crash into bed because I'm depleted. I don't know what I'm doing wrong

    I'm a desk jockey as well with an hour commute each way and basically keep similar hours for work...two crazy boys (7&5).

    In regards to lifting, that shouldn't really be an everyday thing. A 3x per week full body program is not only efficient and effective, but also optimal for a beginner in the weight room...and really more than enough for even intermediate and advanced lifters who aren't into body building and doing body building splits. I'd recommend running an established full body program...there are many out there to choose from and it will be more efficient and effective than doing you own thing...and far more efficient in regards to the work and time management than doing any kind of daily split.

    When my wife started lifting, she started with New Rules of Lifting for Women which is a solid program and even a better read for a female beginner...she then went on to Strong Curves but now has been working with a trainer for a couple of years. She only lifts once per week as she is a runner, so her emphasis is there and lifts to cross train and maintain a solid, athletic look.

    My wife and I are both very fitness oriented and it's important to us. We split a lot of duties up at home to allow each other time for fitness...but like I said, most of our exercise is in the realm of 30-45 minutes (her running and me cycling). We think it's important to stay fit and healthy so that we can be there for our kids as long as possible...it's also a really positive example for them and their view is that regular exercise is about as normal as getting up and going to work or school. They are both pretty active kiddos and enjoy a variety of sporting activities and I think them seeing us involved in fitness has a lot to do with that.

    In regards to home life, I generally cook and she does the dishes. She does homework with my youngest and I usually do homework with my oldest. We trade off days giving the kids baths and making the kids' lunches. We pick up around the house, but we don't really "clean" other than wiping down the kitchen...we do our full house cleaning on either Saturday or Sunday.





  • CatchMom11
    CatchMom11 Posts: 462 Member
    Please, give it time. Your body will certainly adjust. I started getting up at 4a 3-4 years ago. I've taken breaks in those years though. In the beginning, I was so tired. I did have to accept the fact that I was going to be an "In-bed-by-10" person, with very little exceptions. I can't tell you how long it took for my body to completely adjust, but I can say that now, I automatically wake up between 3:45-4a without my alarm clock. Your body will develop it's own time clock. It'll let you know when it's ready to go and when it's time to rest. Just pay attention and listen to it.

    To help yourself not feel as tired though, make sure that you're getting the right nutrients and meeting those nutrient goals if not, exceeding them. Protein is a big one! I have to have approximately 80-100g of protein a day for my needs. I didn't just pick that number out of the air either. I have a very close relationship with my doctor, my personal trainer and the nutritionist at my gym. I want to make sure I'm doing this right so I make sure that I'm consistently checking in with each.

    So, give it time and try adding some protein and perhaps a CLA (all natural). Best of luck!
  • tmoneyag99
    tmoneyag99 Posts: 480 Member
    did you change your username? Or am I just completely unobservant?

    And, you can only do what you can do. Maybe give yourself a little break and a pat on the back. I don't exercise every day. Take a 10 minute walk on your break or at lunch. There are only so many hours...

    nope. Same person I've always been.
  • beemcbe
    beemcbe Posts: 22 Member
    I 100% know the feeling. I don’t have a 3 year old, but I have a desk job 7:30-4 and used to have a 1 hour commute, 1.5 hours home with traffic. Gym in the morning? No way. Gym in the evening after almost 12 hours of working and sitting in traffic? No. Way.
    I agree with a few things that other people have said.
    1. Where can you make time?
    Is there anything you normally do during the week that can be moved to weekends? Not just cleaning. I’m talking about meal prep. I do as much as I can on Sunday’s so during the week I’m basically reheating and assembling. If it can save you 20-30 minutes a day it may be worth it
    2. At home workouts
    There are so many free resources online. And 3 is the perfect age to start getting your little one involved. Kids that age love to do whatever you’re doing, so let them! (Obviously making sure it is safe.) OR workout in the morning before he is awake. It would still mean getting up earlier, but minus the drive to the gym and packing a gym bag. I have a lot of trouble holding myself accountable with at home workouts, so I will tell myself “okay I’m just going to do it for 5 minutes.” Sometimes I really only do 5 minutes, but usually I keep going once I’ve started.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    tmoneyag99 wrote: »
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    There are 168 hours in a week. Chart out where you are currently spending your time and prioritize working out.

    My wife gets up at 3:45 to run for 30 mins and hit TRX at 4:30. Gets to work 6am-3pm and picks up our 3 kids. I get up at 5am and do 30 mins of calisthenics or run (yay home treadmill!) get the kids up at 6:30 - do a quick 15 min calisthenic session with them, get them ready, and drop them off at school/daycare at 7:45. Get to work 8:30am - 6pm. I hit the gym after work most nights for 30 mins doing resistance training and then home for dinner and family meeting time. All this juggled between Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, piano lessons, martial arts, seasonal sports...

    You can do it - just budget your time.

    Thanks for sharing! This is definitely inspiring.

    @cwolfman13 and I have similar schedules and lives and have been in similar threads.

    Just to share my wife never considered herself a morning person. Never believed she could run, so this process is one that took ~10 years to develop. Baby steps were taken throughout. We have to walk before we can run.

    I'll also say that I've adapted my work quite a bit and do as much as I can at work. I implemented the Pareto Principle and focus on the top 20% that matters and ignore the 80%. I've turned all meeting into walking meetings/workout sessions allowing another potential 60 min workout session and then eating at the desk. I did this about the same time as my firm implemented a wellness plan, so this works hand-in-hand.
  • fitoverfortymom
    fitoverfortymom Posts: 3,452 Member
    When I finally decided to commit to doing more fitness related activities (with the idea that an active lifestyle is what will help me not only lose the rest of the weight but help me maintain the weight loss), I had to create a goal. For me, I started running, so I signed up for a 10k race and built a training plan so I would be ready for that race. It happened that the most efficient time in my schedule to run was very early in the AM, so I started getting up earlier and doing my runs.

    That said, early workouts might not be for everyone, and finding the activity that you enjoy that you find yourself going to do over and over again and willing to commit to for whatever reason motivates you to commit--that's the right one. It's highly personal and individual.

    Also, I don't love getting up at 4am, and now I find it hard to sleep past 6am, even when I can. But once I got over the suck that is trying to wake up so early and bundle up and go out for a run, once I'm in the moment and actually doing the work---it's. so. gooooood. I love the sense of having already accomplished something before I even really start my day. It's greatly improved my mental health.
  • crb426
    crb426 Posts: 661 Member
    My schedule is VERY similar to you (kids and all). I usually get up at 4am or 4:30am to get to work by 7am also. I, however, could never leave to workout somewhere else. I just couldn't. I need my house to get ready. So I do cardio workouts on youtube. 30-45 minutes and I'm good.

    I save the big workouts for the weekends, including Friday evening.

    Although with weight training I don't know what you'd need. Unless you bought your own weights for home.