Shame about lack of exercise. What do I do?

JanesGame

Does anyone else who can't exercise the same as what you see others do due to whatever reason it may be (injury, disability, health ect) get exercise shame?
What do you do to stay motivated and remind yourself that just cause you can't run or move in the same way as an 'average person' it doesn't mean you've failed?

usmcmp

Others are shaming you or you are shaming yourself? Almost everyone has something they can't do. I'm flexible and strong, can't hold yoga poses due to some injuries. I'm not going to feel bad about what I can't do, I celebrate the things I can do. I have a friend who is missing half an arm and she is always finding ways to accomplish things she shouldn't be able to do.

cmriverside

Hm. I've never heard the term "exercise shame."

Shame is an internal event/decision. If you are feeling shame that is something you have decided to feel. Change your thoughts, change your life.

Have you had any counseling? This type of mindset can be changed!

JanesGame

Good insight guys. Thank you! I think it is down to change your mind then adapt and grow.

Very much appreciate

shadow2soul

MonkeyMel21

The great thing about this website is that there are all types. You can build your friends list based on exactly who you want to surround yourself with. Go ahead and make a thread “People who just count calories/no exercise”, etc, and I bet you’ll get several people that would like to be friends with you. Weed out any friends you already have that make you feel bad.

canadianlbs

JanesGame wrote: »

Does anyone else who can't exercise the same as what you see others do due to whatever reason it may be (injury, disability, health ect)

i get sadness. and sometimes yes, i would like to be among all the cool kids.

i refuse to feel ashamed though. my limitations are real, but they're not me.

What do you do to stay motivated and remind yourself that just cause you can't run or move in the same way as an 'average person' it doesn't mean you've failed?

i'm the only person i know who is me, so i try just not to use external reference points. that includes - actually especially includes - poster-child people and cases of 'inspiration' porn that manage to imply your own limitations 'shouldn't' matter because they somehow didn't to somebody else.

i have to use my own personal reference points. and set my own standards and work towards my own goals. and mostly i keep my lip zipped about what i do feel successful at, because i don't want to be either 'outdone' or patronized.

so it gets lonely; can't lie. but that's a different problem from 'shame'. hang in. and get stubborn if you think that will help.

lorrpb

There will always be people who can do more than you and others who do less than you.

Machka9

crossfit_dottir wrote: »

Stop focusing on what everyone else is doing and start focusing on what you're doing.

So you can't run? Walk, can't Walk? Crawl? Can't Crawl, push yourself around in your wheelchair.

We have a guy at my gym who's in a wheechair. He bought stuff to modify the rowing machine and he rows when we run

Anothern one is missing a leg, he did a workout he other day that included air squats... he did pistols the entire time

We can't do everything but everyone can do something. Find your something.

I agree.

I did a 10K run recently, and was amazed to discover that they had added a wheelchair class to the 10K. A group of about 10 people in wheelchairs, pushed themselves out and back on the 10K course! And I thought running 10K was difficult ... couldn't imagine trying to do that with my arm strength!

apullum

Do what you can. Everyone has things they can and can’t do, and your activity doesn’t need to be the same as anyone else’s.

If you can’t exercise your legs, then focus on your arms. If you can’t stand or get out of bed, then work on seated movements or exercises you can do lying down.

People who judge you for your ability level aren’t worth your time, but it’s hard enough being judged by others. Please try to be gentle with your own needs instead of contributing to that judgment of yourself.

KeepRunningFatboy

How about about meditation or yoga?

huntersvonnegut

I saw something on-line that read, "Dance like no one is watching. Because they're not. They're checking their phones." Pretty much the same thing applies at the gym. And those of us who do notice what you're doing will more likely have admiration for you for overcoming your obstacles.

Packerjohn

crossfit_dottir wrote: »

Stop focusing on what everyone else is doing and start focusing on what you're doing.

So you can't run? Walk, can't Walk? Crawl? Can't Crawl, push yourself around in your wheelchair.

We have a guy at my gym who's in a wheechair. He bought stuff to modify the rowing machine and he rows when we run

Anothern one is missing a leg, he did a workout he other day that included air squats... he did pistols the entire time

We can't do everything but everyone can do something. Find your something.

It is very inspiration to see. Son of some friends was critically injured in a motorcycle accident. "Died" 5 times until they got him stabilized, lost permanent use of both legs. As he was recovering he had some discussions with some local Para-Olympians. He started doing 5-10ks in a regular chair, does pull ups with himself belted into the chair. Was able to get a racing chair, qualified for the Boston Marathon.

Now he'is at a major university that has one of the best para-athletics programs in the US majoring in psychology with the goal of working with people in his situation. He'e also on the para track team.

One of the best examples I've seen in my life of someone making lemonade from lemons.

Be the best you.

AllanMisner

Everyone has put out some great advice. You need to work to change your self-talk. As long as you are pushing yourself, you're doing great.

JanesGame

Thanks for all the advice guys. It's really cleared my head and the way I think! Will definitely take it on board and start looking into what I CAN do and forget what people think