Looking for advice on dating before I've reached my weight loss goal

cshern

Hi, I'm not very experienced with how to meet men or date and now I have also the concern that I shouldn't flirt with men or use my online dating app until I've lost another hundred pounds.

Thoughts?

I could use some encouragement and motivation to both stay on my diet and stay on my quest for a nice man to be my man :-).

colingrace08

Don't try and loose weight to impress a man. Do it for you, your confidence will grow and that will make you more attractive than a slimmer waist. Good look

cshern

Ok. Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it! :-)

Unknown

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JaydedMiss

Anyone worth your time will like you at any weight. Dont be scared, Theres NO REASON not to go dating now. If anything id recommend sooner vs later. Land yourself a nice man who likes you before its all about your body. Because its not. You have alot more to you thn just a body or some fat.

gamerbabe14

JaydedMiss wrote: »

Anyone worth your time will like you at any weight. Dont be scared, Theres NO REASON not to go dating now. If anything id recommend sooner vs later. Land yourself a nice man who likes you before its all about your body. Because its not. You have alot more to you thn just a body or some fat.

This!

melissa6771

@cshern

I'm not sure how old you are, how long you've been single or how long you've been on your weight loss journey. I believe all that will play a part in this. I'm going to be very honest with you here.

Yes, someone should like you for you, who you are, your soul, not just your looks. But... these are my thoughts on the matter.

Dating today sucks. I have been at it for a couple years, I didn't date for the first six months that I started on my weight loss plan. I didn't want to be disrupted. I have friends that are doing it and it's hard. The dating culture has changed. There is a lot of rejection involved in dating. How do you feel about yourself right now? How will the rejection affect you? Can you handle the stress of it while you're doing this? Will it get you off track with what you're trying to accomplish? These are things that you should consider. You don't want anything making you feel bad while you're trying to make yourself better.

A lot of dates revolve around food and drinking. Are you prepared to fit that into your days and still stay on your plan? It's difficult. I tell people up front what I'm doing and see if they are comfortable with it. Picking places I feel I can manage somewhat. I tell them that I don't drink much and choose not to most of the time. I'm don't want to waste calories on alcohol or lots of apps. That's my preference. Most of the guys worth knowing are totally ok with this, it helps weed them out for me. This is a lifestyle now and when I get to Maintenance it will be a looser version of the same plan. It helps if they are on board or live the same way. You'd be surprised how many try to tell you one meal won't hurt, one night of drinking won't hurt but most of the time it turns into more. Especially if there are a lot of first dates until you meet someone to date consistently.

Like I said, these are just my thoughts and opinions. Food for thought. Right now, making myself better is my priority and if I meet someone great along the way who can support this, great. If not, oh well. Right now I am focused on me first.

Wishing you the best!

LuvMyBoys04

A quote by Dr. Seuss: "The ones who matter don't mind, and the ones who mind don't matter." This is your life NOW, do what makes you feel happy and alive and confident and healthy. Be who you are, and the guy who is _good enough for you_ (not the other way round!!!!) will show himself. Dating is tricky; as mercenary as it sounds, I found success in being very systematic about it; a friend clued me into an older book called "Conscious Dating", and it really helped me. I think it's like a $2 purchase on Amazon or something. The #1 thing is that you live your amazing, wild, authentic life first; the book's first "assignment" is to make a bucket list of 100 things you want to do before you die and get started on it. Just like all of us, you deserve to be happy and are worthy of all the love and all the good things, right now. Today. Skinny or fluffy...tall or small...just the way you are.