Such little progress...

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  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    bioklutz wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    bioklutz wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    bioklutz wrote: »
    Hopefully this doesn't sound creepy...

    You (and a couple of other women on MFP) are one of the reasons I started lifting weights. I saw your profile picture change over the last few years and I was really wowed and envious. Do not belittle yourself and just call it angle and lighting. We all have moments when we feel less than great about ourselves. Do not let these moments overshadow your achievements. You are f'ing awesome!

    Really? That makes me smile. Or at least it will tomorrow when I'm feeling less pissed off.

    I'm really glad you found lifting. Do you love it?

    I probably started about 3 years ago - but I really took my time getting going! The first 6 months I was really working more on balance/stability/technique more than strength. I did want to get a little more serious about it after seeing some of the awesome ladies on this site. It might not seem like a big deal to you but you went to a competition where you moved a lot of weight. That is very inspiring! Seriously - that is some super hero *kitten*.

    At the moment I love deadlifts and glute bridges. I get really excited about adding weight to overhead press and bench press. I do not love squats - I do them but grumble about it.

    I don't think I moved big weight. That's the thing. I barely have a 225 squat. I hit 240 in the gym ONCE.

    I need to get back into overhead press. Man that is a slow one.

    That is pretty freaking heavy. I don't think I will ever get to the point where I can say I only squat 225! :)

    :)
  • BNY721
    BNY721 Posts: 125 Member
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    I think with this journey sometimes it’s hard to recognize how far we’ve come and focus on how much further we want to go. I, like you, feel “stuck” at the moment..I have a progressive program and haven’t been training as hard as I have nearly as long as you...but you are more motivational than you think! I used to have a different account on here forever ago now where I saw your progress and followed you on IG (creeper!)..watching you push yourself with your compound lifts motivated me to do the same and go heavy! I think you not only look amazing, but think how you keep pushing on regardless if you feel you’re not making as big of strides as you want...you never quit..even if you scale back the aggressiveness..you never quit and it shows. Keep kicking *kitten*.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    mmapags wrote: »
    Honestly, I think the bigger issue is your own thoughts, expectations and attitudes about how you look.

    Some of how we look is determined by genetics and we can only do so much about that. As others have said, you look great. Strong, fit. Just great! You discount that and say good angles and lighting but you have multiple pics in your profile. Self acceptance may be the issue that needs the most work.

    This! :)
  • stephaniedenise28
    stephaniedenise28 Posts: 104 Member
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    Just wanted to drop by and say that you look amazing! Definitely where I would like to be at some point :) I am just as hard on myself- I have been lifting for about 3 years now and feel like I don't look all that different to where I started, so I know how you feel!
  • dolliedisaster1
    dolliedisaster1 Posts: 1 Member
    edited January 2018
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    I too have stuck to programs, I’ve lifted for almost 4 years and just not where I feel I should be. When I see women squatting 65-95 lbs at my gym with massive quads and butts I’m like wtf?!? I’m killing myself over here in the gym, eating 2500-2600 cals and no growth in my legs. Believe me I’ve tried every damn program imaginable. And stuck to them. I’ve just went ahead and realized it’s probably because I started lifting at 35 and never played sports or anything, and also genetics at this point and try to work on strength more than physique more these days. I guess we just have to keep grinding!! Don’t be too hard on yourself. You look great!
  • its_me_april
    its_me_april Posts: 57 Member
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    I feel for ya. . . I really do. I came to a similar conclusion maybe a year and a half ago about myself. Although I've never really lifted that heavy. I have a small frame and my little joints can't handle too much. HOWEVER I am very happy with the progress I've made with my upper body in particular. I was a definite pear shape before (now slightly less pear :)) and my upper body was soooo tiny and bony. I always looked shredded but with very little muscle, so more veiny and bony.

    Do you have a hard time with body image in general? I know that's the case for a lot of people into health / fitness. I'm sure you've heard it before, but what about just focusing on continuing to improve your lifts without so much focus on how you look? (I know, easier said than done).

    I've come to accept that I will most likely not be able to look like a fitness model. I enjoy lifting weights and after trying more of a heavy lifting approach, I've realized body building style training works better for me personally. At this point in time I'm not expecting to really put on any muscle, just maintaining what I have and that's fine with me!

    Good luck to you in your journey! And stop that negative talk! You do not have a "crap" body and many people would love to look like you! :)
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
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    I feel for ya. . . I really do. I came to a similar conclusion maybe a year and a half ago about myself. Although I've never really lifted that heavy. I have a small frame and my little joints can't handle too much. HOWEVER I am very happy with the progress I've made with my upper body in particular. I was a definite pear shape before (now slightly less pear :)) and my upper body was soooo tiny and bony. I always looked shredded but with very little muscle, so more veiny and bony.

    Do you have a hard time with body image in general? I know that's the case for a lot of people into health / fitness. I'm sure you've heard it before, but what about just focusing on continuing to improve your lifts without so much focus on how you look? (I know, easier said than done).

    I've come to accept that I will most likely not be able to look like a fitness model. I enjoy lifting weights and after trying more of a heavy lifting approach, I've realized body building style training works better for me personally. At this point in time I'm not expecting to really put on any muscle, just maintaining what I have and that's fine with me!

    Good luck to you in your journey! And stop that negative talk! You do not have a "crap" body and many people would love to look like you! :)

    I think you would be amazed at how much you can lift if you really put together a heavy lifting program. :)
  • se015
    se015 Posts: 583 Member
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    bbell1985 wrote: »
    I have been training my butt off for years. I've gotten lean, I've bulked and cut, I've maintained and recomped (maybe?), gained accidentally while training very hard...and in the end, sitting somewhere in the middle of my highest and lowest weight...I barely look any different.

    I have had a coach. My training is progressive, and difficult and anal.

    I barely look different from the first time I was this weight, even considering how hard I have trained over the years.

    And to top it off, I'm really not that strong.

    It's been 3.5 years since I've started all this. Will another year make a difference? Are my goals of strength and physique too conflicting? Or am I just genetically predisposed to a crap body that can only maintain it's weight on 1800 calories?

    When I first made this thread it was called "so many years...so little progress". Maybe I'm just comparing myself to people who really HAVE been training so many years. Maybe it's just that I started so late and 3.5 years is nothing compared to 10...

    Sorry guys. I'm so frustrated tonight.


    So I've made a lot of progress, and my goal was always to "get big" and while I've definetly gained mass compared to how I started, it seems as if it's never good enough. I think most people have that issue. It's important to learn to feel good about yourself and look at your pics from before and just realize how much you accomplished. At a certain point you just learn to maintain what you've got or make a new fitness goal. Don't be so hard on yourself you look great! Tons of Women would love to have your body, I think. But I also have difficulty trying to accept how I am and it's a constant self struggle. Also it's never good to compare yourself to others, we're all different, and NOBODY is perfect, we all have weaknesses and strengths.
  • TravisJHunt
    TravisJHunt Posts: 533 Member
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    Isn't that why being in great shape sucks so much? Because in general we love to eat. It's kind of what separates us from most other animals, we don't always just each because we are full, we eat for a hundred different reasons unlike most of nature which simply eats to survive. Its not a great thing yet its also a beautiful thing. I'd say you're doing great. There's a huge number of lifting dudes on here that would love that shoulder definition you've got going on, not to mention nice definition from top to bottom. So maybe try being a little easier on yourself. When I was 18 all I did was lift and eat right. I figured I'd do body building competitions, etc. Then life happened. I'm now 37 with two kids and if all I focused on was getting back to that, I'd have quit a long time ago and never came back. Sometimes you have to enjoy things for what they are.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    OK you're my new gurlcrush! No seriously you look amazing.

    Mind telling me what you can do today that you couldn't do 1 year ago? 2 years ago? 3?

    How much are you deadlifting now vs how much you deadlifted 1 year ago? How many kilos (or lbs) have you added to your squat? Can you do a pull up ? Could you do a pull up 3 years ago?

    And the most important question, how do your jeans fit? Tight around the quads and butt yet they're loose around your waist? ;) Cause that's a problem for fit girls and judging by your profile photo you're waist is itty bitty and you're thighs and butt are huge (in the best way possible :love: )

    A year ago I got injured. So honestly, I'm back where I started. I haven't even tested a 240 squat because I had to start from square one again. And no, I can't really do a pull up. I have to give myself a little momentum.

    Jeans fit okay. If I'm not puffed up.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    BNY721 wrote: »
    I think with this journey sometimes it’s hard to recognize how far we’ve come and focus on how much further we want to go. I, like you, feel “stuck” at the moment..I have a progressive program and haven’t been training as hard as I have nearly as long as you...but you are more motivational than you think! I used to have a different account on here forever ago now where I saw your progress and followed you on IG (creeper!)..watching you push yourself with your compound lifts motivated me to do the same and go heavy! I think you not only look amazing, but think how you keep pushing on regardless if you feel you’re not making as big of strides as you want...you never quit..even if you scale back the aggressiveness..you never quit and it shows. Keep kicking *kitten*.

    Sup Creeper. Send me your IG name so I can follow you back.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    Seth1825 wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    I have been training my butt off for years. I've gotten lean, I've bulked and cut, I've maintained and recomped (maybe?), gained accidentally while training very hard...and in the end, sitting somewhere in the middle of my highest and lowest weight...I barely look any different.

    I have had a coach. My training is progressive, and difficult and anal.

    I barely look different from the first time I was this weight, even considering how hard I have trained over the years.

    And to top it off, I'm really not that strong.

    It's been 3.5 years since I've started all this. Will another year make a difference? Are my goals of strength and physique too conflicting? Or am I just genetically predisposed to a crap body that can only maintain it's weight on 1800 calories?

    When I first made this thread it was called "so many years...so little progress". Maybe I'm just comparing myself to people who really HAVE been training so many years. Maybe it's just that I started so late and 3.5 years is nothing compared to 10...

    Sorry guys. I'm so frustrated tonight.


    So I've made a lot of progress, and my goal was always to "get big" and while I've definetly gained mass compared to how I started, it seems as if it's never good enough. I think most people have that issue. It's important to learn to feel good about yourself and look at your pics from before and just realize how much you accomplished. At a certain point you just learn to maintain what you've got or make a new fitness goal. Don't be so hard on yourself you look great! Tons of Women would love to have your body, I think. But I also have difficulty trying to accept how I am and it's a constant self struggle. Also it's never good to compare yourself to others, we're all different, and NOBODY is perfect, we all have weaknesses and strengths.

    Thank you Seth. I think the issue, along with being hard on myself, is that I look at old pictures and I DON'T see much of a difference.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
    edited January 2018
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    Ugh. I put a comparison pic up here but had to take it down.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    Ugh. That is so embarrassing.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,572 Member
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    I think you are amazing! so kind, so inspirational, so pretty. I would love to look like you. Unfortunately, I need to lose about half my body weight, and by the time I do that, I will probably have saggy skin on my arms and stomach and need a tummy tuck. If I were you, I would be happy that you started from a lower weight and probably don't have the skin issues, and you have come so far while you have been using this site. Out of curiosity, do you have a picture showing what you would like to achieve for yourself? like a pic of a fitness model or something?

    I get to eat a lot of food, but I am a big unit, I'm sure once I'm closer to my goal weight, I'll only be allowed like 1400 calories. Sometimes I can have over 3000 calories a day, but I do a lot of walking.

    Yeah...I guess I'm fortunate I never got much over 180. But honestly that's not what the post is about. I do feel grateful. But I'm also working my *kitten* off and it'd be nice to see some change.

    No, I don't really have a picture of someone I'd like to look like. Just a better version of me. Tighter, lean, etc.

    Thank you for your kind words :)
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
    edited January 2018
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    bbell1985 wrote: »
    Ugh. That is so embarrassing.

    I don't see through your eyes. So, I don't know what you see. To me, you look shapely and fit with decent muscle definition. You are coming back from an injury, so I'm guessing this will improve as you get more weight work in. Seriously and with all compassion, you are really hard on yourself. To the point where it might be self defeating. <3

    Saw the pic before you took it down and you don't have anything to be embarrassed about.
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
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    bbell1985 wrote: »
    Ugh. I put a comparison pic up here but had to take it down.

    5# heavier and you have a flatter stomach, smaller thighs, and bigger arms from what I can see.
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
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    I saw the pic briefly... you weigh more in the current photo yet you look leaner. That is progress.

    I feel like I did the same thing a few months ago, I compared my pre-bulk photo from 2014 to my recent post-cut photo... they pretty much looked the same (from the front at least, not the glutes obv). BUT in the recent one I was about 9-10lbs heavier.