Sabotage

Sara1478

My husband has been 100% with me on this weight loss thing, until it became visibly noticible. Now, he is actively sabotaging me. I have very low will power for food that is in front of me. To overcome that, I just don't keep food around me that I find irresistable. I've been doing great at keeping under my calorie count on a daily basis. In the past two weeks there hasn't been a single day that I've gone 100+ calories over. All of a sudden, people are starting to notice. The hard work is paying off.

Then... my husband became irritated with me. He started out by telling me I need to find something else to talk about. Frankly, this is the biggest thing going on in my life. Keeping on track and making my family happy has been hard. I've been trying to gauge their thoughts on the changes in our house and also seeking support. My kids are all for it. They come with me on walks and join me in Taekwondo. They love the new foods I'm making for meals. My husband has started bringing home donuts, wings, fast food, all sorts of lovely stuff that used to make regular appearances on our kitchen table. I've tried discussing it with him, but associates me talking about food as part of my weight loss thing. He gets irritated when I don't partake of his gifts and gives devilish smiles when I give in. I am at my wits end.

Anyone else encounter a sabotaging spouse?

4lafz

You are going to have to have a conversation with him. Gain his support and make sure he knows that junk is no konger allowed in the house - for you AND your kids. If he wants to eat unhealthy items he can enjoy all by himself and outside the house! Stay strong - you can do it!

merimeaux

I'm sorry that you're going through this, but know that it's not because there's something wrong with you...most likely he feels threatened in some way and is trying to exert his power/control over you...it's sad and childish, I know. I wish I knew what to say. :-/

SayRah

Talk to him about it, for sure. He needs to support you through this. He's your husband, he's supposed to love and support you unconditionally.

And don't give in. I know how hard it is....sometimes even I can't hold out. But no matter how tasty or sweet or delicious something is, I don't think it can compare to feeling %100 happy with your body.

nikki91950

That is HORRIBLE. But I kind of feel your pain. My family eats out a lot because of the hours my mom works. My mom, my brother, and my self are all dieting together, and we usually prefer fast food places over sit down restaurants because the food is cheaper, the portions are smaller, and there's usually more things to chose from to eat. Well, my dad does not give a flying leap about what he eats, and he's always hungry for a good amount of food (or thinks he is) so he always suggests regular and sit down restaurants...and BUFFETS! Every chance he gets, he's always trying to make us give in to temptation so that we can go to a buffet place. It's horrible, and he drives us crazy!!! We've been going around in circles with him about it for almost six years, and it still hasn't sunk in. He just doesn't care. I really wish I could give you some advice, but honestly, I have nothing. All I can do is wish you luck and hope that things work out for the best.

Yurippe

My boyfriend has always supported me trying to get healthier. He actually just joined the site and is starting to track his food and exercise too. He knows this is important to me and listens whenever I want to talk about it.

This might sound harsh, but I wouldn't want anyone in my life that told me that the things that are important for me were boring to listen to. Or actively tried to get in the way of me improving my health. In my mind him trying to force you to eat wings is like him telling you that he is ok with you getting heart disease.

His behavior needs to stop. If honestly loves you and cares about you... he needs to grow the hell up.

Families_R_Forever

I can relate to some of your situation...my hubby says that I am way into this getting healthy, mfp thing....but like you it is all I think about. I want my kids to have a healthy begining and so they don't have to learn the hard way...ie becoming overweight with over eating and binging on junk food. My hard work is paying off. My oldest LOVES salad now and they are eating more veggies and trying new foods. I am proud of them. On the other hand my hubby wants to lose too so now he is walking with me. He would like me to just tone down the MFP thing...lol that is not going to happen! GOOD LUCK do what you have to to help your family.

July24Lioness

I am sorry that you are having to go through this.............

I am very fortunate that my hubby pushes me toward the healthier eating and calls me out before I go to put something I shouldn't eat in my mouth.

He eats whatever I cook and respects the fact that I can't eat certain things due to health issues, so he eats the stuff I don't want and can't have outside of our house. He never disrespects me by bringing crap into the house.........

He is also exercising with me. Every morning before work we walk our dogs and also again every evening. Last Friday we did a 15 mile bike ride through our City that was to benefit a local charity. I had initially signed up to do it by myself and he asked me if I could register him also. We had a blast together and we are doing a 20 mile ride at the end of August to benefit the Illinois Center for Autism.

As others have stated, I really don't understand how someone that is supposed to love their significant other can do things to sabotage the others efforts when they are trying to better their lives.

That is low, immature and just disgusts me. Again, I am sorry that you are going through this.

cutmd

I think some posters are being a bit harsh on the hubby. Personally, I don't like the idea of bashing marriages you're not involved in on the internet (or in real life, for that matter). It is human nature (especially male nature) to dislike change. just because he's happy to see you eat a donut doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Maybe he feels you've lost enough weight, maybe he feels you are developing an unhealthy relationship wit food, maybe he is afraid if you change too much you'll fee unsatisfied with him and have an affair/leave him like he sees happen on tv.

My hubby occasionally will bring or buy things not in my diet plan. I've talked to him about it, and his argument is that I work out hard, look great, and should relax once in a while. So once in a while, I do. That is part of my compromise.

Calories and weight are just numbers. This is your life mate. So sit down and talk with him before you let other posters convince you he is an immature, disgusting jerk. You know better.

Sara1478

Thanks for the support guys,

I'm going to keep pushing on working on me. I'm sure he'll come around once he sees the second hand payoff from eating the foods I'm making. I've actually had a talk with him a few moments ago and he seems to be balking at change more than anything. I've literally grown with him (in weight) and he seems to not understand why our lifestyle has to change. He'll come around eventually when he sees the long term payoff. If not, well, I'll have to find some self control somewhere.