Food for Thought: Taking right/wrong and good/bad OUT of food

KwikMix

I read something today that REALLY hit home and has me thinking, so thought I'd share it. It was a book about willpower and how our brain is wired for decisionmaking. Turns out one way to really TORPEDO your own willpower is to frame choices - food choices, for example - in terms of good or bad, right or wrong, weak or strong. Basically, STOP making it a value judgment, or a "test of character" because it's not. It's just food... and all that matters is whether eating it will get you what you want, or take you further away from it. When we frame food in "moral" terms, two things happen, whether we realize it or not:
1- The part of us that hates being told what to do immediately starts resisting a new "should."
2- We feel so virtuous and proud for being "good" and doing "right" that we immediately "reward" our good behavior with something naughty because HEY, we earned it.

I tried this tonight, when I came in below my calorie and carb limit and automatically went to "treat" myself with a little sugarfree candy, because I'd left room and could "get away with it" - yay me. Except I didn't even actually WANT candy. Wasn't hungry. I'd just programmed myself to think I needed "treats" to stay motivated. So instead, I told myself that I'd been "treating" myself all day, by making the choices that took me closer to what I want... that I didn't need a little "reward" because I was never FORCED to give anything up! I'm an adult, there's no gun to my head, and I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want.

So, I'm going to experiment with this and really try to ELIMINATE "right" and "good" and "reward" and all that from my self-talk. There's just "does this get me what I want, or not?"

I'm curious to know if anyone else has made a similar shift, or is interested in trying, and results.

CourtneyUT

Awesome! What a great way to look at it. Takes all the stress and judgment away from food choices. Thanks for sharing!

kommodevaran

This shift has been instrumental for my ability to maintain my weight - three years of healthy weight by now - virtually effortlessly.

snowflake954

Actually you will hear this often on MFP. Newbies talk about demon foods and people with a little more experience tell them to lighten up and take off the labels. There is alot of resistance to this because the media is full of "good" and "bad" terminology for food. It makes a difference from the guilt standpoint and can mine your results.

diannethegeek

There have been small wars on MFP about this sort of thing, but getting rid of the good/bad labels for food made all the difference for me. Thanks for posting this! Hopefully it helps others just starting out.

Aplant77

Interesting! Worth a try. I find everything to do with weight loss is mental so this plays right into it!

sungoddess337

This sounds promising. I am trying to be more mindful and this fits right in. Feels great to follow through on changes I make. In the past have been very quick off the wagon. Hope the new skills will be my seatbelt and keep me focused on changing what I must to live a healthy lifestyle for the first time in my life. I’m 60 and have some health issues that are not curable but very much manageable and that’s on me.

LadyElectron

The trap is not just that when you feel ‘virtuous’ and treat yourself with something you don’t need, but when you do eat that entire plate of cookies or whatever, you will feel like a moral failure and bad person too if those cookies are ‘bad.’ That just feeds in the whole guilt and shame cycle.

jrae75

I have a similar mindset. Taking out the negative self talk and value placements on food has made a real difference in me not feeling deprived or having unnecessary "guilty" feelings about choices I've made. If it fits in my calorie allowance, it's all good. There are no "cheat" days, because I eat what I want within the parameters that have been set to reach my goals. I've been doing this since June, and I've certainly learned the best ways to "budget" my calories to stay sated, but there is room for other things if I want them. I find I enjoy them more, too, when I'm mindful about making the choice to have them. The best part? I don't feel like I'm on a "diet." It's just a more mindful lifestyle.

It makes me hopeful that this will make it easier to maintain my weight loss when I reach my goal. I've lost 30 pounds since June and have about 10-15 more to go. I have three kids who are 9, 7, and 5. I am aware that they see all the things all the time, and how I model this process will shape how they think about their bodies and relationship to food, so I don't want to say things like that food is a "bad" choice or "Mommy can't have that" or call myself the dreaded "F" word. I don't say negative things about my body or their bodies or anyone else's body. I eat what I want and enjoy it, but I am aware of portion size. I have not even mentioned my weight loss to them and they haven't mentioned it to me.

What they noticed was when I started making time to work out. When they asked questions about why I was doing that, I pointed out how they all participate in sports activities through school and how good that exercise is for their bodies. I told them I want to be healthier and stronger, too, so exercising is a good idea for me, too -- that way I can keep up with them! They know that treats are tasty and fun, but they don't do much for filling up a hungry tummy or giving us the energy we need to get through the day. They have their place, but they aren't what we want to rely on primarily if we want to be healthy and strong.

Anyway. I think I went off on a tangent. My point is that putting a positive spin on the process and being mindful of what I want my kids to see has made this a positive process for me. I'm enjoying this journey and not just looking at the "end point." There is no end point, to tell you the truth. Once I reach my goal weight, the work will change to maintaining it. If this is something I'm going to have to be aware of for the rest of my life, might as well make it a good thing. There is no reason why taking care of myself should feel like a punishment. :-)