Just a vent from a mum , coming apart at the seams .....

emmalzthompson

Just a little vent coming up, having no-one to talk to as pathetic as it sounds I need to vent somewhere, and cant vent on FB, its too personal : I feel so confused, going through a 'break-up' with the father of my son, who I do love dearly, and we havent broken up persay just separated, he no longer lives with me and my son, and trying to patch things together, we have had it hard from, our son spending alot of his nearly four years of life in and out of hospital, to a bad pregnancy where my 'other half' if you will had to give up work to care for me, and then being diagonised Bi-Polar ( wrongly I had severe post natal depression) around the same time my dad died ( who I hadnt spoken to since I was 16) I was 23 when he passed .... I hated him ( he was abusive in ways i dont wish to discuss) but kinda loved him still struggle with how to deal with this to this day ( nearly three years since he went ( 14 august) ) and then my 'other half had a blood clot on his brain, all the while our son still in and out of hospital, then sept 2013 I nearly lost my son on his birthday and spent two weeks with him on ICU ( intensive care) , then my son had a opp in feb, then I fell really ill in march ... and only just recovering now ..... on top of all the crap my 'other halfs' ex throws our way ( he has two girls from a previous relationship - I have been with him 6 yrs) his ex is awful, as are the girls unfortunately ( down to his ex) .... causing so much stress i was re-emited to hospital in May with encephalitis. anyway we have always had a huge strain on us, myself and my 'partner/ex' and we are trying to work through it, trying to be old fashioned and fight to the bitter end, as my gran always said .... people these days don't understand the meaning of relationship/marriage ... and so we struggle on ... and since 'the split' I have had NO support from anyone! Just struggled on alone .... and today my Gran ( who is really like my mum) turned on me, and said she is turning her back one me, for 'struggling on' with the father of my son, not that she has really been around for me anyway, but now i feel even more isolated, and confused as she was the one who told me to work at it, but now she wants nothing to do with me or my son as im staying with my sons father , living separate .... im sure this makes no sense, it makes no sense to me ..... but I just needed to vent .... a message from a lonely desperate mum, starting to un-ravel after all the crap thrown my way!

DaughterOfTheMostHighKing

go ahead an vent. I know what you mean about fb... too many family and nosey people who would only gossip. I feel that way too... I hope things calm down for you. remember you have a precious gift from God to take care of! I miss having a little one... mine are teens. I've been raising them alone for nearly 12 years... their daddy's in Heaven. Take care of yourself and your little one! God bless!

SuperSexyDork

I can't give advice but I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time.

Sometimes it's helpful just to let it all out so I hope this helped.

-hugs- :flowerforyou:

ToningLikeABoss

Stay strong. *hugs*

emmalzthompson

Thank-you haha feel a bit pathetic and weak now for posting this, but been bottling up for soo long, Its nearly 1am where I am .... but I feel like screaming as loud as I can .... will smash this anger and upset into the ground with a hard workout in the morning. @Daughterof the.... Im so sorry to hear of your loss x

MariG25

Just let it all out! Scream if you have too that always helps me lol. When I'm super stressed I scream into the pillow and punch the bed lol. Cry and let it out. Things will get better they always do. Stay strong, positive and focus! Don't let others run your life. ((hugs))

EDesq

WOW... I just threw up My hands...Have you heard of AbrahamHicks, The Law of Attraction. Go to YouTube and get "lost" there for a few days. What you are dealing with is wayyyy more than Human Beings alone can help. Just hold on, don't let go...Now go get some spiritual help, that is the starting place for you. And when I say spiritual, this is not anything "spooky"...it's an Energy/Vibrational problem.

sadiebrawl

You need to let **** out. Sometimes I journal, but it's different telling others, it can help more than just a personal journal.

You've been through so much for such a young young person. Hugs to you. Just keep focusing on your son, the two of you... everything else will hopefully find a way to work itself out.

Hlasweet

I will throw out an offer to you. I don't know if you have heard of Reiki but I am a Reiki Master Teacher and I would be more than willing to help you conquer some of this and provide some healing. Of course, I wouldn't charge you so I don't have any "motives" behind this offer. Please feel free to friend me and we can start there!

emmalzthompson

Thank-you everyone for your kind words, feel a total idiot now for posting this, just last night I really needed to vent somewhere somehow. Feeling slightly more positive today, and this is only a smidgen of my life, and all that has happened, to me its just life, its what happens. If life throws you lemons make lemonade and all that! I was shocked to see some of your comments about having to deal with too much ..... but I suppose it has helped put things into perspective?! x