So disappointed

Bere1416

At the beginning of January, I began to get desperate to lose weight any way I could. I stopped eating for a couple of weeks. I would have a cup of coffee in the morning and one at night, I needed the caffeine since I have two kids (3yr old and 1yr old), and only sometimes would I eat a very small amount at dinner. I was obsessed with the mirror. I would look at myself in the mirror several times a day and I would just see myself as really fat and that was reason enough for me not to eat. During all of that time I had gotten a headache that turned into a migraine that didn't go away for even a minute and lasted all month, so I could tell that it was affecting me a lot. I was also too weak to workout. I just recently started eating again, it is all healthy eating. My headache finally went away and I'm on my fourth day of a workout program. I started the program at a weight of 146. Yesterday I weighed 144.6, I just weighed myself an hour ago and I weigh 147 lbs! I started crying when I saw that number on the scale. It became really hard to convince myself that not eating is not gonna fix this. I'm really pushing myself with my workouts and I'm eating 100% healthy and drinking lots of water. I don't know what is wrong with me.

wizzybeth

What you probably gained was water weight. Being a woman that is a fact of life that you need to get used to. You are always going to be gaining and losing water weight.

It is not healthy to not eat at least 1200 calories everyday.

My personal opinion is that you should see a counselor to help you deal with all these feelings that you have.

JeromeBarry1

The only thing wrong with you is that you don't understand how to be patient and deliberate. Fortunately, you can learn both of those things.

How tall are you?

I don't know, but 147 could be lithe or pudgy, depending on how tall you are. How old are you? That doesn't much matter to weight, but if you're a minor you should be using this site.

Don't laugh. I had a cousin with 2 kids and was still a minor.

JustSomeEm

If you've just begun a work-out program, your body is likely holding onto water weight. Are you sore? If so, your body is holding onto some extra water as it heals those muscles and the soreness goes away. Even without soreness, weight fluctuates often and sometimes wildly. If the scale is going to affect you that much, maybe you shouldn't be using it more often that once every week or two. Weight-loss isn't linear - there are going to be ups and downs along the way. As long as you're eating right and being honest with yourself, you ARE going to lose the weight. The trick is to not let small bumps in the road freak you out and cause you to give up.

shadow2soul

Breathe. Take a deep breath and relax.

You didn't gain 3 lbs of fat overnight. What you are seeing is that your glycogen stores replenished (glycogen in simple terms is energy for your muscles) and the weight of the food your body is digesting.

There are lots of things that can cause temporary increases on the scale without being fat.

From how you are describing your mindset, I think you should get rid of the scale. Use a measuring tape to track progress.

You need to be healthy for your kids. Starving yourself is not the answer. It also sets a bad example for your kids. Even at their young age they are watching what you do and learning by what they see.

Bere1416

Everybody else, thank you so much for your replies, I'm trying really hard to fix my way of thinking. Your comments are really helpful.

Bere1416

@shadow2soul thank you so much! I had no idea that there could be other reasons to why such a huge change in my scale. And thank you for telling me that I need to be healthy for my kids in a way that doesn't hurt me. That other person really broke me like you have no idea. I can't stop crying, but every other person did help me, including you, thank you very much.

Bere1416

@JeromeBarry1 I'm 22 years old and 5'2.

Bere1416

@JustSomeEm Yeah I'm still sore. I have convinced myself to keep going, to finish the 4 weeks of the workout program along with healthy eating. It does hurt to see the scale. I'm trying to not get the weight to disappoint me, I've tried to not weigh myself but it's really hard. I might just tell my mom to hide my scale at her place, it's probably the only way I can stop putting myself down.

ColoradoLivingg

I definitely understand that relationship with the scale. I've been there myself. As others have said, there are reasons for the gains. Just take it one day at a time and breathe You could also try taking your measurements once a month to see the differences that way instead of just the scale. I've seen others post about the scale not moving one month but they lost inches.

Bere1416

@ColoradoLivingg you're right. I really need to get rid of the scale and replace it with a measuring tape. You know sometimes when I look in the mirror I do feel like I've gotten thinner, but then I weigh myself and I look at myself in the mirror again and I see myself fatter. I think the scale is really messing with my mind.

h1udd

the scale definitely messes with your mind ... I have minimal issues with weight, but honestly I am lean, I am losing fat, I am doing good ... BUT ! ... my mood for the day is so often skewed by the scale.

I can be dropping weight at a regular amount, but get on the scale in the morning, see I am 0.5kg heavier look in the mirror and see myself as fat and get annoyed ..... yet the next day, I have lost that 0.5kg and a bit more .. look in the mirror and I am looking ripped

there is no getting away from it .. I weigh twice a day so I know exactly what causes my fluctuations, ... ie I had a can of Monster energy drink at lunch ... I guarantee I will be 0.5kg heavier when I get home .. I retain water with energy drinks !

AnotherPlate

Have patience. You won't get to your goal overnight. It's a process of learning new habits and discarding old ones, that takes some time. On the bright side, your new way of thinking eventually becomes second nature when you stick with it long enough. Success will come so effortlessly.

Please do not starve yourself. That's no way to live.

ColoradoLivingg

@Bere1416 As h1udd said, the scale definitely messes with your mind. This happens to me a lot. My clothes will be feeling better and I'll be feeling better but as soon as I step on the scale, if the number is higher than I thought, it pushes all of that away. I myself need to work on measurements more so I can actually see a physical change, rather than just the numbers on the scale. It's all a process but we can do it!

DebLaBounty

Take some before and after photos, maybe just once a week. Compare your first week to one you've taken four weeks later. Good idea to use a measuring tape.

Are you using MFP? Honestly, if you follow the logging protocols and eat within the calorie goal MFP gives you, you will lose weight AND fuel your body so your mind will function and you can keep up with the kids. At minimum, you need to eat 1200 calories a day. Good luck!

becaholic

Maybe you gained some muscle. Maybe aunt Flo is on her way (sorry if that is rude) which also causes water weight. For me, when it's that time, I always gain about 10 lbs. Maybe you ate something a little too salty. The next week coming up should be the week where you pick a day to weigh and keep that your day! You have the power!