Danger close calls in the kitchen

SuperOrganism2

Good morning guys!

Let's share stories about our kitchen close calls and true debacles! Disasters! Things that went totally wrong as you prepared, served, or had a meal that you made.

I'll start.

My wife works in public health and travels abroad quite a bit. Often, in subsaharan African countries...doing maternal and child health, work on HIV, lots of stuff. Good public health stuff...trying to figure out how to get babies to survive.

She interacts with foreign ministers of health and important people in other governments.

One of these important people was visiting the USA and coming to our house for dinner. I was making a rotisserie chicken, and had been carefully tending it as it cooked.

30 minutes before they arrived I looked out of the kitchen window and in horror saw 6 feet of flames shooting out of the grill.

My thoughts:
*kitten* *kitten* *kitten* *kitten* *kitten* *kitten* mother *kitten* *kitten* *kitten*

I quickly put it out with the garden hose, made like the wind to the grocery store and snatched up some NY strips...ran home and grilled those *just* as they walked in.

I almost had a heart attack, though.

Anybody care to share their disasters or close calls in the kitchen?

Have a great Monday!

km8907

Not as far as food goes, but I've almost stabbed myself multiple times.

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RollTideHusker

Long ago, when I first moved in with the hubby, I tried to impress him with making chili. I grabbed the cayenne pepper, not paying attention thinking it was the chili powder (very similar bottles) and just poured it in. Needless to say, the first bite was quite of a shock. He tried to eat a few more bites but we ended up having to throw it out. It’s our joke now when I make chili.

Versicolour

Haha!

I was in high school and decided to use my mom's microwave fudge recipe to make fudge (obviously). I didn't realise that the melting temperature of tupperware was lower than the booking point of sugar. Oops!!

Another time I was cutting some biltong and accidentally sliced my finger - almost to the bone. I didn't get stitches because I was bulletproof at the time and there was toilet paper and packaging tape. I still have the scar.

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RoxieDawn

Total disaster a few years ago, 3rd degree burns on my neck and shoulder after taking microwavable soup out of my microwave. Being short and the microwave installed basically over my head, soup was everywhere, I was wearing a long sleeve shirt that save the rest of me.

Last week a baked potato exploded in my hand taking it out of the oven. I poked holes in it before baking. I was holding a pot holder so it only made a huge mess.

JoRocka

I was making pizza once- and I keep my pizza stone in the oven while it heats up- cooks the pizza better.

so I took it out to put the pizza on it- and set it down on top of a pot holder.
Put pizza back in the oven- 10 min later house is smoking like crazy.

Pull stone out- and damned if the pot holder hadn't stuck to the stone- and gone in the oven- it's lucky I didn't burn my flipping house down.

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Ironandwine69

My better half cooked dinner the other night. I almost died.

saragd012

A couple of months ago I was nearly done cooking something that was supposed to have melty cheese on top (can not remember what I was actually making) but I forgot the cheese step until it was basically done. I figured no problem, I'll throw it under the broiler. Get it all setup and I'm keeping a close eye on it, but my partner has decided this is the exact time to be helpful and start unloading the dishwasher in our tiny kitchen. So in the less than two minutes it took to get her out of my way the food caught on fire in the oven. It was easy enough for me to put out but the whole thing was ruined. Scared her enough to stay out of my damn kitchen when I'm cooking now though.

Versicolour

My ex boyfriend (many many years ago) was making Glühwein and poured it directly from the pot into my fancy and very delicate wine glass. Needless to say, it shattered and there were glass shards and Glühwein all over my kitchen. I was not impressed

km8907

MeeseeksAndDestroy wrote: »

I learned at a young age that tin foil does not go in the microwave and I lit a hot pocket on fire.

And also that they sneak tin foil into those disposable party plates that look like they have confetti on them.

That triggered a memory from 4th grade. My school didn't have a cafeteria and ordered outside food everyday for lunch. This was chick-fil-a day. I put my chicken sandwich on its wrapper and popped it into the microwave. Did you know those wrappers are made with foil? A small fire and a screaming teacher later, my sandwich was still delicious.

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CharlesS6730

One day I was trying a different method to cook steak. I put olive oil in my pan and let it heat up. I misunderstood "let the pan get hot" as "crank the stove to high." The oil started to smoke just as it should but then it hit the flash point and ignited. In a panic I grabbed the pan in an attempt to take it outside I dropped it on the floor and luckily only a little bit of oil splashed on the floor causing tiny flames. I threw the pan into my back yard in the rain and dealt with the small flames inside. Needless to say I learned many valuable lessons about cooking that day.

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elizarizo

I burned a burger so bad it caught fire once

Versicolour

Not a kitchen disaster, but consumable:

I make my own gingerbeer. The recipe says to leave it overnight to ferment but I like to leave it for 2-3 days. I make a 15 liter batch and after the 2 days I started decanting it into empty 2 liter coke bottles. We only had so many bottles and so much space in the fridge, so the rest kept brewing. It must have been about 10-14 days later I told my husband (at the time) that it was not fit for human consumption and we should chuck it out. Being a seasoned (and well-pickled) beer drinker he said, nonsense! He'd have it because there's no way any beer can do anything to him. He proceeded to prove it to me. I found him passed out face down along the foot of the bed about an hour later. He still drank the rest, but mixed it with sprite after that!!

Lounmoun

The first thing I cooked solo was popcorn on the stove. Unsupervised and without permission. The pan was too heavy for me so when it was done I set it down on a chair seat rather than drop it on the floor. A viynl chair seat. It melted the seat. I may have been 6 or 7 years old.
When I was about 12 or 13 I baked a birthday cake for a family member. I frosted it with homemade frosting but didn't realize it was a recipe to make hard cake ornaments. The cake was completely encased in a hard shell. I remember beating on it to try to crack open the cake while my family laughed. It was pretty embarrasing at the time. Good for a diet I suppose!
Dh says the worst thing I have made in 18 years together was some soup in year 2. I think I used frozen vegetables and canned tomato soup. I don't remember. I think the worst thing was some peach turkey burger that just turned into a pile of nasty goo and resulted in ordering in pizza.
My stove broke spectacularly a month ago with loud noise, a flash and smoke. It was pretty old and the burners had been going bad for awhile but I thought the oven was okay. Nope. Was without a stove for almost 3 weeks. Learned I could bake banana bread in my slow cooker.

Mostly things go pretty well.

alicebhsia

i forget what i was going to make, but i thought i'd try my hand at deep frying. i must've had the heat too high, because the whole pan of oil caught on fire. huge flames shooting up in my newly renovated kitchen. i don't know how but the backsplash of the maple butcherblock countertop my hubby had just made himself got all burned. thank God i had the sense to quickly put the lid on the pan and thank God i had it handy! will never deep fry anything ever again! would have been awful if i burned the house down!

_pi3_

One time I was skinning potatoes to mash and cut myself.

aeloine

Made bacon before work one day. It took a LONG time to cook (kept it on low so it wouldn't smoke). The next day, I figured I could leave it unattended while I went to go brush my hair.

Note: bacon burns faster when it's not tended #science

I thought I caught in in time and turned on the vent but it still set off all of the smoke alarms in my apartment.... and in my neighbors' apartments.... at 6:30 in the morning.

That was a HECK of a reason to be late for work.

cwolfman13

When my wife and I were dating, we'd often trek out to Tuscon to stay at her folks house for a long relaxing weekend when they would go out of town. We were having a cookout poolside and we were getting everything prepped...I was in the kitchen making potato salad and sliced most of the tip of my left thumb off by my in-laws crappy kitchen knives. It nicked the artery and blood was shooting everywhere...ceiling, cupboards, sink, counter-tops...like literally shooting everywhere.

My wife came in from outside and was wide eyed...I asked her to go get me a band-aid and she started dying of laughter while at the same time getting a cloth for me to wrap around my finger and hand and rushing me out to the car to the ER. They sewed it up good and we came home and commenced the detail cleaning of the kitchen.

That was over labor day weekend...we went out to visit them at Christmas and my gift to them was a brand new set of decent cooking knives.

_pi3_

cwolfman13 wrote: »

When my wife and I were dating, we'd often trek out to Tuscon to stay at her folks house for a long relaxing weekend when they would go out of town. We were having a cookout poolside and we were getting everything prepped...I was in the kitchen making potato salad and sliced most of the tip of my left thumb off by my in-laws crappy kitchen knives. It nicked the artery and blood was shooting everywhere...ceiling, cupboards, sink, counter-tops...like literally shooting everywhere.

My wife came in from outside and was wide eyed...I asked her to go get me a band-aid and she started dying of laughter while at the same time getting a cloth for me to wrap around my finger and hand and rushing me out to the car to the ER. They sewed it up good and we came home and commenced the detail cleaning of the kitchen.

That was over labor day weekend...we went out to visit them at Christmas and my gift to them was a brand new set of decent cooking knives.

That's funny ish

THeADHDTurnip

I was boiling nipples on the stove and "had" to check something on the computer. 20 minutes later and a fire was literally brewing in the pot.

blueheartrisen

Sliced my finger pretty good trying to cut frozen bread. The nerves mostly grew back after a number of years but it's still a little twangy if I hit it on something.

km8907

THeADHDTurnip wrote: »

I was boiling nipples on the stove and "had" to check something on the computer. 20 minutes later and a fire was literally brewing in the pot.

Funny. I always bake my nipples.

Versicolour

When I was pregnant I kept burning my belly - on the stove or the iron or whatever. I just grew too quickly to adjust my brain