Today someone told me "I need to stop losing weight"
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My grandma went through WW2 and starvation that Soviet countries faced after and her most used quote was: ''Men are not dogs. They are not attracted with bones.'' She was always trying to feed me as much as my stomach could take. So understanding all this I was just politely eating everything she had to offer and going on with my lifestyle when she was not there.
You know your body. Don't listen to anyone.
But life is about balance. Try to find one with your family.4 -
That's what grandmas do. can't be helped.
Keep doing what you're doing.2 -
Yes, very frustrating. My family used to do it to me all the time when I was at my smallest. But I was barely under my ideal BMI and I felt the best I've ever felt in my life. I let everything roll off my back and didn't worry about it. They can make their choices and I'll make mine, and if commenting about how "skinny" I am makes them feel better about themselves, then so be it. I just want to be healthy.3
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For many, many years I’ve gotten the eye roll from my family when I order in a restaurant. They always say, why can’t you just enjoy yourself? I’m not ordering a salad with no dressing. LOL. Just the grilled fish instead of the fried fish. I think their idea of fun and mine are different....2
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Oh, and if someone in my overweight family tells me I’m getting too skinny, I’ll know I’m exactly the right weight.7
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I lost a bunch of weight a couple of years ago.I hadn't lost my first 15 pounds and people (who never said a word when I gained a ton of weight) started becoming concerned and telling me to stop.As I made my way down the scale,it was nonstop attempts at sabotage and unsolicited comments.When I hit my goal I told these people that I never reached my goal and that I had gained back 20 pounds.They were all thrilled to hear it,and never commented on my weight ever again.I ended up losing about 65#.That was 3 years ago and I have gotten in even better shape since then and kept off all the weight.That was the only negative aspect of my weight loss. In the end I just had to realize that these people really didnt want me to succeed. But ,I think the O.P.'s grandma is probably just concerned. A lot of old people think that if you miss a meal,you will starve.1
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frankiesgirlie wrote: »For many, many years I’ve gotten the eye roll from my family when I order in a restaurant. They always say, why can’t you just enjoy yourself? I’m not ordering a salad with no dressing. LOL. Just the grilled fish instead of the fried fish. I think their idea of fun and mine are different....
This is something I hear from friends and family when we get together. And when I really focus on getting very lean for racing season, they start to shake their heads and say things like " I hope he's alright.. he's taking this too far, etc." And finally, when they start joking about staging an intervention, then I know that I'm at my perfect racing weight.
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A lot of those comments stop for me when I finally bought clothes that fit better.9
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I have a friend who asked if my weight loss was deliberate, hinting that she was concerned I had cancer! I wasn’t even at my goal weight. I suppose grandma’s, though, feel like a major part of their way to the express love is to feed the people they love. Don’t get defensive, just give her a big hug and say something kind to her like , “I love you.”1
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I have seen people look frail after losing weight because they did it really fast with really low calories and no weight training. They look deflated because they have lost a lot of muscle with their weight loss.
As someone else said, be sure to wear clothes that fit. The oversized clothes can make you look sick.5 -
WillingtoLose1001984 wrote: »I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...
I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.
Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?
200 for 6'1" is lighter than you think. That is pretty thin for a male with some muscle. Most men don't have to go as low as the bmi says to be healthy.
You'd need some very beefy muscles to not have a gut @ 200 6'1". My 6'0" friend is 190 and he wants to lose ~25 pounds. My other friend who is 6'1 170 looks great, he's right in the middle of normal BMI.I know it's working for you now, but the problem will come when you hit a plateau and need to lower your calories even further. And why not eat more if you can?
There's studies out there that claim this won't happen though.
My body isn't going to get use to 1500 calories then all a sudden stop losing weight because starvation mode is a myth. 1500 is low enough for males that you'd become underweight before you reach a permanent plateau.ITUSGirl51 wrote: »So did anyone’s perspective of what a healthy weight looks like change after you lost weight?
Now that I’m close to normal weight I’ve noticed women at work being heavier than I thought they were before I lost the weight. Like larger bellies and bigger hips than I noticed them having before. So my perspective on what healthy looks like has changed since I’m close to a normal BMI. Weird.
Yes, overweight people stand out way more now.... as crappy as that sounds. I feel so sorry for them because I know what it's like and how much better it feels (both physically and mentally) to be healthier.
I know starvation mode is a myth. What I meant is, you would have to lower your calories more to maintain the same rate of loss. If you're ok with your rate of loss slowing a lot, that's ok. But again, I ask, why eat so little when you don't have to?
And yes, starvation mode is a myth, but that doesn't mean how much you eat does not affect your metabolism, because it does.
I get what you mean now. I know it'll slow down, but I don't plan on losing 2 pounds/week all the way to my goal. The site already estimates 1.8 pounds/week at 1500. I eat 1500 because I am rarely hungry doing so, and I don't want to slow down my weight loss by eating when I am not hungry.170 at 6'1" is very light.
I am 6'2" and weigh 205. No way I would want to be 170-180 lbs.
6'1" 170 is smack in the middle of normal BMI. 6'2" 205 is overweight BMI. BMI is designed for the average person, it can be inaccurate for people who lift/bulk regularly.
I am 6'1" 203 and I still have more than two full hands of gut fat. You likely have a lot more muscle than the average person if you look fit at 6'2" 205.
You've latched on to BMI as the ultimate indicator for healthy weight vs. height. If you want to be thin without muscle, knock yourself out. I know that sounds snarky, and I really don't mean it to be. But doing it the way you are is not going to appreciably change your body fat percentage as much as you may like it to. Carrying the deficit you have carried and what looks to me like under-eating is not going to show up until it's done its damage. I wouldn't go by whether you "feel hungry".
What you should go by is "am I fueling properly with enough nutrients to sustain my body function AND support my activity?"
I lost 50 pounds myself - from 240 to 190. I started lifting and have since gained about 15 pounds. In the time since lifting, my BMI has gone up while my body fat percentage has stayed roughly the same and my waist measurement has gone down.
So I am actually 15 pounds heavier, smaller, with less body fat, despite the higher BMI. I do plan to cut some more fat, but I would be far happier at 205 with a smaller waist, than at 190 with a better BMI (and less muscle).
If you are shooting for a specific weight to height ratio (BMI) without regard to muscle, you may find yourself unpleasantly surprised.3 -
WillingtoLose1001984 wrote: »I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...
I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.
Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?
200 for 6'1" is lighter than you think. That is pretty thin for a male with some muscle. Most men don't have to go as low as the bmi says to be healthy.
You'd need some very beefy muscles to not have a gut @ 200 6'1". My 6'0" friend is 190 and he wants to lose ~25 pounds. My other friend who is 6'1 170 looks great, he's right in the middle of normal BMI.I know it's working for you now, but the problem will come when you hit a plateau and need to lower your calories even further. And why not eat more if you can?
There's studies out there that claim this won't happen though.
My body isn't going to get use to 1500 calories then all a sudden stop losing weight because starvation mode is a myth. 1500 is low enough for males that you'd become underweight before you reach a permanent plateau.ITUSGirl51 wrote: »So did anyone’s perspective of what a healthy weight looks like change after you lost weight?
Now that I’m close to normal weight I’ve noticed women at work being heavier than I thought they were before I lost the weight. Like larger bellies and bigger hips than I noticed them having before. So my perspective on what healthy looks like has changed since I’m close to a normal BMI. Weird.
Yes, overweight people stand out way more now.... as crappy as that sounds. I feel so sorry for them because I know what it's like and how much better it feels (both physically and mentally) to be healthier.
I know starvation mode is a myth. What I meant is, you would have to lower your calories more to maintain the same rate of loss. If you're ok with your rate of loss slowing a lot, that's ok. But again, I ask, why eat so little when you don't have to?
And yes, starvation mode is a myth, but that doesn't mean how much you eat does not affect your metabolism, because it does.
I get what you mean now. I know it'll slow down, but I don't plan on losing 2 pounds/week all the way to my goal. The site already estimates 1.8 pounds/week at 1500. I eat 1500 because I am rarely hungry doing so, and I don't want to slow down my weight loss by eating when I am not hungry.170 at 6'1" is very light.
I am 6'2" and weigh 205. No way I would want to be 170-180 lbs.
6'1" 170 is smack in the middle of normal BMI. 6'2" 205 is overweight BMI. BMI is designed for the average person, it can be inaccurate for people who lift/bulk regularly.
I am 6'1" 203 and I still have more than two full hands of gut fat. You likely have a lot more muscle than the average person if you look fit at 6'2" 205.
6'1" and 170 is very thin for a male who lifts weights at all or has any muscle. My cousin was in very good shape at 6' and 185. He was also a teenager! There was nothing he couldn't do. My sister's husband was maybe 230 at 6'4" and also in very good shape. They both lifted weights at times though. If my grandma said I looked too thin or to stop losing I would listen because she was right when she thought I was gaining weight and knows what thin is. Your size doesnt make you unable to tell a decent weight.2 -
frankiesgirlie wrote: »Oh, and if someone in my overweight family tells me I’m getting too skinny, I’ll know I’m exactly the right weight.
My family isn't like that unless my sister's get into underweight range or the other feels like dieting in the low bmi range. They aren't stupid about weight. Women don't have to be as thin as they think they do in the healthy bmi range. Most everyone thinks they should be in the lower part, even me, but it isnt true.2 -
OP I’ve had this same issue with my grandparents. And my mom has said something about it once or twice...and she’s smaller than me. If your grandparents are anything like mine they’ll bug you to death about it every time you see them. Lately when mine ask me if I’m trying to lose more weight I just say, “no” and keep it moving. I don’t feel like bantering back and forth. Good job on working towards your goals though. You know what you need to do. Keep it up.0
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WillingtoLose1001984 wrote: »I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...
I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.
Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?
200 for 6'1" is lighter than you think. That is pretty thin for a male with some muscle. Most men don't have to go as low as the bmi says to be healthy.
You'd need some very beefy muscles to not have a gut @ 200 6'1". My 6'0" friend is 190 and he wants to lose ~25 pounds. My other friend who is 6'1 170 looks great, he's right in the middle of normal BMI.I know it's working for you now, but the problem will come when you hit a plateau and need to lower your calories even further. And why not eat more if you can?
There's studies out there that claim this won't happen though.
My body isn't going to get use to 1500 calories then all a sudden stop losing weight because starvation mode is a myth. 1500 is low enough for males that you'd become underweight before you reach a permanent plateau.ITUSGirl51 wrote: »So did anyone’s perspective of what a healthy weight looks like change after you lost weight?
Now that I’m close to normal weight I’ve noticed women at work being heavier than I thought they were before I lost the weight. Like larger bellies and bigger hips than I noticed them having before. So my perspective on what healthy looks like has changed since I’m close to a normal BMI. Weird.
Yes, overweight people stand out way more now.... as crappy as that sounds. I feel so sorry for them because I know what it's like and how much better it feels (both physically and mentally) to be healthier.
I guess of you want a 6 pack you might need to be 170 and 6'1" but I don't think you do otherwise. Instead of looking at body weight or appearance I'd look at your limitations. When you are truly fat those come in like I have always experienced. When my cousin was in the 180"a as a teenager and 6'. He could pretty much do anything and was very athletic. You dont have to be 170 at your height to be healthy or athletic. Is there a mybodygallery for men?0 -
I have a big family and cousins and I understand what how frustrating it is to hear silly comments. To be honest I think it got to do more with insecurity and trying to make themselves feel better by making you feel bad.0
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The first time I lost a bunch of weight and started wearing more form-fitting clothes a number of people freaked out. I had teachers asking if I was sick, my mom was convinced I needed to see a doctor, etc. where I was actually just not overweight for the first time in my life.
As far as where you should stop losing weight/what's ideal is subjective. Since I've started lifting a few years ago I get comments that run the gamut from "you look too bulky" to "if you try and drop your body fat further you'll just look scrawny" and my mom still freaks out, now in both directions (She laughably accused me of being on steroids when I bought my first tub of protein powder when I was still living at home). Wanted to add a data point to the "Is 6'1" 170 too thin?" discussion; below is a picture from a few weeks ago at exactly 6'1" 170lbs and would take offense if someone said I was "too thin" or "doesn't have any muscle." I certainly wouldn't say no to adding muscle, but I'd also readily admit that I have fat I'd like to lose. That said, I'm not done improving my physique and certainly not going to stop lifting any time soon.
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In college, I was 6' 1/2" and 160. I was also extremely lean. I would regularly do 5x60 pushups and ran track (800m). I was stronger than a lot of guys who weighed 20-lbs more than me because I had about the same amount of muscle as they did but just less fat. I guess I may have been close to 5% bf (caliper measurements said I was 3.5% although I don't believe I was that lean). I don't want to get that lean again but 7-10% I think would be nice. I'm currently 195 but I'm sure I will hear I'm too thin if I get to 180 which is where I want to get to. I run now and just started lifting again.0
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The first time I lost a bunch of weight and started wearing more form-fitting clothes a number of people freaked out. I had teachers asking if I was sick, my mom was convinced I needed to see a doctor, etc. where I was actually just not overweight for the first time in my life.
As far as where you should stop losing weight/what's ideal is subjective. Since I've started lifting a few years ago I get comments that run the gamut from "you look too bulky" to "if you try and drop your body fat further you'll just look scrawny" and my mom still freaks out, now in both directions (She laughably accused me of being on steroids when I bought my first tub of protein powder when I was still living at home). Wanted to add a data point to the "Is 6'1" 170 too thin?" discussion; below is a picture from a few weeks ago at exactly 6'1" 170lbs and would take offense if someone said I was "too thin" or "doesn't have any muscle." I certainly wouldn't say no to adding muscle, but I'd also readily admit that I have fat I'd like to lose. That said, I'm not done improving my physique and certainly not going to stop lifting any time soon.
Yes you are pretty thin not gaunt though. It really depends on how you carry weight. I mean some people look fat at a low weight and other people with more muscle can be a little overweight according to bmi and still look great.2 -
Several years ago, I lost a lot of weight. I got down to my normal range for my height. I was not underweight. However people kept telling me that I had lost too much weight and that I looked sick - at my normal BMI.
Anyway, I eventually stop counting calories and keeping a food log. I told myself I didn't need to keep track anymore because of what ppl were saying. I convinced myself that I was too thin even though I was a normal weight for my height. Anyway, as you can guess, I gained all of that weight back and more over a period of a couple of years.
I finally started losing weight again. And you know what? I'm not going to pay any attention to what people say about my weight. So many people are overweight in the USA and I think that has become the new normal. So, when someone isn't overweight, they seem too thin. Especially if they were overweight for a long period of time before. Anyway, don't pay attention to what others say.3
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