D.R.E.S.S. for Health Success: is this as bad as I think it is?

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My husband got a text from one of his dojo mates. Apparently his wife is doing something with D.R.E.S.S. for Health Success and we have been invited to a "workshop" at their house. To wit:

Hello,
If you or someone you know have been having health complaints from digestive issues, arthritis, allergies, diabetes, depression, joint pain, migraines, ADHD, foggy brain, low energy, automimmune disorders, thyroid problems, inability to gain our lose weight, cholesterol problems, contact me or pass on my contact information. I have started helping people to identify the underlying causes of their health complaints and correcting body function so that most health problems simply disappear. I am a health detective!
The great part is that you don't have to go to an office to get the tests done, you'll get the kits, do the tests and send to the labs, I get the results and pass them onto you, and we do a consultation on Skype or phone for your functional interpretation. If you have been suffering or struggling remember, there are NO normal symptoms, there are only common symptoms. Just because many people have them, doesn't make them normal. They need to be checked out and I can help them check them.

If you wonder what kind of health detective I am, here is a little description:
What is FDN?
Functional Diagnostic Nutrition® (FDN) is a type of detective work that identifies the underlying causes and conditions that cause disease instead of treating symptoms. Using functional lab work, I recognize patterns of imbalance in the body and identify healing opportunities. As functional health coach I work with each client in a health building process using the powerful, proven, protocols of D.R.E.S.S. for Health Success® program. This natural, holistic approach yields the highest level of positive results for my clients. I don’t medicate, I educate! I don’t guess, I test! I know which labs to use and how to interpret the results. Some health coaches may offer labs, but without a complete understanding of how to interpret them functionally, most providers end up treating only the test results instead of the person. With FDN, I can create simple, customized step by step health restoration plans for YOU. AND GET REAL RESULTS!


My spidey-sense was tingling before I got through the first paragraph, and the "I am a health detective!" just made me laugh. Is this as far out as it sounds? No, we're not going to the workshop. :p
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Replies

  • 100_PROOF_
    100_PROOF_ Posts: 1,168 Member
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    Woo alert ! Lol
  • 1houndgal
    1houndgal Posts: 558 Member
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    ZoneFive wrote: »
    My husband got a text from one of his dojo mates. Apparently his wife is doing something with D.R.E.S.S. for Health Success and we have been invited to a "workshop" at their house. To wit:

    Hello,
    If you or someone you know have been having health complaints from digestive issues, arthritis, allergies, diabetes, depression, joint pain, migraines, ADHD, foggy brain, low energy, automimmune disorders, thyroid problems, inability to gain our lose weight, cholesterol problems, contact me or pass on my contact information. I have started helping people to identify the underlying causes of their health complaints and correcting body function so that most health problems simply disappear. I am a health detective!
    The great part is that you don't have to go to an office to get the tests done, you'll get the kits, do the tests and send to the labs, I get the results and pass them onto you, and we do a consultation on Skype or phone for your functional interpretation. If you have been suffering or struggling remember, there are NO normal symptoms, there are only common symptoms. Just because many people have them, doesn't make them normal. They need to be checked out and I can help them check them.

    If you wonder what kind of health detective I am, here is a little description:
    What is FDN?
    Functional Diagnostic Nutrition® (FDN) is a type of detective work that identifies the underlying causes and conditions that cause disease instead of treating symptoms. Using functional lab work, I recognize patterns of imbalance in the body and identify healing opportunities. As functional health coach I work with each client in a health building process using the powerful, proven, protocols of D.R.E.S.S. for Health Success® program. This natural, holistic approach yields the highest level of positive results for my clients. I don’t medicate, I educate! I don’t guess, I test! I know which labs to use and how to interpret the results. Some health coaches may offer labs, but without a complete understanding of how to interpret them functionally, most providers end up treating only the test results instead of the person. With FDN, I can create simple, customized step by step health restoration plans for YOU. AND GET REAL RESULTS!


    My spidey-sense was tingling before I got through the first paragraph, and the "I am a health detective!" just made me laugh. Is this as far out as it sounds? No, we're not going to the workshop. :p

    Sounds full of woo to me.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
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    Then she sells you the cure for what ails you. Gotta Call BS on that one.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
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    RUN
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    Major woo.
  • AnvilHead
    AnvilHead Posts: 18,344 Member
    edited February 2018
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    Big, smelly, steaming pile of woo. Run away.

    "Functional" anything is usually a tip-off that it's woo and/or a scam.
  • crb426
    crb426 Posts: 657 Member
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    I'm almost go just for the craziness of it all.
  • ZoneFive
    ZoneFive Posts: 570 Member
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    crb426 wrote: »
    I'm almost go just for the craziness of it all.

    That's just what my husband said, and I'm tempted myself, only it might be rude to laugh in the middle of her spiel. I've dealt with her before; a few years ago she set herself up as a coach for some DVD exercise program and was pushing it hard at various events. I'm guessing this is just more of the same, now with more added woo.
  • ZoneFive
    ZoneFive Posts: 570 Member
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    nowine4me wrote: »
    Then she sells you the cure for what ails you. Gotta Call BS on that one.

    One-stop shopping, I guess.
  • MegaMooseEsq
    MegaMooseEsq Posts: 3,118 Member
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    ZoneFive wrote: »
    crb426 wrote: »
    I'm almost go just for the craziness of it all.

    That's just what my husband said, and I'm tempted myself, only it might be rude to laugh in the middle of her spiel. I've dealt with her before; a few years ago she set herself up as a coach for some DVD exercise program and was pushing it hard at various events. I'm guessing this is just more of the same, now with more added woo.

    Sounds like someone has the MLM bug. I’ve completely lost patience with that crap - if you keep trying to sell me things, we aren’t friends.
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
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    Well, your instincts were 100% correct on this one.

    It’s funny, but if you look at the general tone and cadence of the pitch, it is basically the same way health woo has been peddled for the past 200 years.

    The products change, but the scam remains the same.
  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
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    that ad read like a MLM bingo card ;)
  • gracegettingittogether
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    It's called diagnosis. It what physicians devote themselves to study for 8 years through medical school and residency, to learn how to do.
    What she is doing is practicing without a license. That's horrible. She can do so much harm.
  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,384 Member
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    Is a health detective like a holistic detective?

    cf5eafe8e01cecf1318b8dfaba75acde.gif
  • Heather4448
    Heather4448 Posts: 908 Member
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    Wait! Wait! Don’t run.
    Go, but go prepared to counter every stupid thing they say with actual scientific facts.
  • ZoneFive
    ZoneFive Posts: 570 Member
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    toxikon wrote: »
    Is a health detective like a holistic detective?

    cf5eafe8e01cecf1318b8dfaba75acde.gif

    Dirk Gently might actually be able to make the whole thing make sense. (But only with a time machine.)