Maintained goal for a year and now its all going wrong

kimgriffinapparently

I won't make too big of a thing of it, just need a bit of motivation.

After a r/s where I gained 2-3 stone, I lost the weight, got addicted to Bikram yoga for 2 years, ate clean for a good part etc...this was while admittedly drinking more than your average person.

At Christmas, I've moved city, moved job, diagnosed with bipolar and got in to a new relationship and all the old patterns are coming back. I can't afford Bikram Yoga in London (£100 per month +) as its almost twice the price as it was in Glasgow and other yogas just aren't holding my attention.

I have gained a lot of weight.

In short, I haven't properly exercised in 4 months, my office diet is like a student diet and with my new relationship, I worry that history is repeating itself. I tried keto for a month and I'm back to yo-yoing....its not what I want. I miss being in love with a real hobby that kept me fit and dieting because it felt good.

I know that I am the only one who can change this, I'm just so angry at letting myself go after all my hard work.

I'm scared to go back on medication (most antipsychotics cause gain) and I am so scared that being in a relationship will cause me to gain weight because I stay in more, eat out more, don't pay so much attention.

The drinking will be hard. It has very much replaced a lot of things and I'm shocked to see that even a quarter bottle of vodka is 450 calories..which I could drink daily - easily. On meds I don't drink, off meds, a few vodkas is the only thing that can shut up my head sometimes...(or is at least the easiest thing).

Thanks for reading, I am aware of how defeatist it looks. I'm just hoping that this is the kick I need to get back to how I was because I am terrified of going back to my worst.

Any advice is welcome.

88olds

I’ve been maintaining 11yrs. I made goal and kept tracking for 5 more years. I didn’t even think about stopping. Eventually I gave it a go and on about the 3rd try I was able to maintain without tracking.

That said, I get in phases where the scale starts to creep up. So in 6 years I’ve gone back to tracking 3 times, it has worked every time I’ve tried it.

On a different note, I wouldn’t have lost or maintained drinking much. Not only the calories but the lack of focus, which is the point of drinking. Sounds like you really need yoga.

ceiswyn

So... you’re drinking a couple of hundred calories of alcohol per day, and you’re worried that medication would cause weight gain...?

You know what you need to do, and you’ve done it before. Also, instead of looking at a new relationship as extra sofa time, why not look at it as an opportunity for long hikes in company, or to try out some racquet sports?

kimgriffinapparently

The medication I was given increases your appetite massively. I'm guessing you don't know too much about it but yes, even in comparison to a few hundred calories a day with alcohol, the meds a significantly worse.

That said,my diet right now is pretty messy. It's essentially coffee, sugar, alcohol, some form of dinner and a lunch that is normally small but not the healthiest. It never feels like I'm eating much but going back to old patterns, I always over do it in sugar. Keto has been great for curbing that.

88olds may have a point in just finding a way to afford the yoga. It really did give me a routine. I never had to track, I just enjoyed being healthy for years.

hroderick

In the southern US, we'd begin this with a statement of care...Bless your heart! Then follow with hard honesty. Congratulations on reaching your goal and recognizing the behaviors that are taking them away.

Connecting the dots... The drinking is substituting for the psych meds and having different side effects. I myself either drink a lot or not at all. I haven't drank in 30 years. I don't take psych meds either. I found my peace through Christianity and prayer. You were finding yours through meditation.

Hard question...Is the relationship going to help or hinder your next steps in becoming the person you want to become? Will he encourage you redirecting your pub budget for yoga? Or does he need a drinking buddy? My supportive spouse and started using platejoy.com to help plan exciting cook at home meals. We now dine out once a month instead of 3x per week.

Send me a message if you want an honest caring friend.

MissMaggieMuffin

First of all, @kimgriffinapparently, a big hug to you as you deal with this struggle. A thought for you - you've indicated that yoga helps you cope with the challenges that you face but is out of your budget. I'm thinking that you probably spend that amount and maybe even more on the alcohol - can you (emotionally) rebudget the money that you spend on alcohol and spend it on yoga instead.

GOT_Obsessed

I don't know anything about this type of yoga. Is there a possibility to get an online subscription and do it at home much cheaper?

swim777

I’m sorry you are struggling. It sounds like you feel like many things are out of your control. Maybe focus on one thing at a time. Exercise helps us all emotionally. If you can find a way to get that back in your life, you will feel better. Try to limit the alcohol to a small amount. Then possibly you can talk to a doctor about meds. Good luck!

kommodevaran

Meal planning can be a way to create structure, regain a sense of control, and a hobby too.

CrazyMermaid1

Not all antipsychotics cause weight gain. geodon is the one I am on that doesn't cause weight gain. Check it out.

amyf2000

Hey - it sounds like you are worried about your drinking. I can relate to that. In my experience, I ended up having to stop, and it was very hard but totally worth it. I have depression and have been on meds for that for over 10 years but exercise and not drinking also really help me manage my depression. I can relate also to needing a physical hobby to pursue with devotion - I took up figure skating 6 years ago and it has been a game changer for me mentally and physically. I quit drinking with the help of a great therapist, reading Anne Lamott and Drinking: a Love Story and going to AA, but there are lots of paths and you can find yours. You have my best wishes.

MaggieGirl135

An online yoga subscription is a good idea or maybe purchasing several DVDs. Doing this at home, possibly supplemented with once a week yoga at a gym, may be much more affordable. You've identified what works for you (meal planning and yoga) for both concerns (weight and mental health).