Anxiety at gym

urloved33

maryjane159 wrote: »

I really want to go to the gym to gain confidence and tone up my body and lose abit of extra flab I have going however I have extreme anxiety I’m scared to even go outside most of the time because I always feel judged by others or people are staring/talking about me and the gym scares me so much because it will be full of fit and healthy people while I’m fat and will be red and out of breath. I try to exercise at home but I have an evil older brother who always taunts and bullies me for it and even makes videos of me to laugh at. I really want to try and overcome my fear anyway by going to the gym but every time I attempt to go I will end up standing outside for ages too scared to go inside so I just want advice from others who suffer like this and what they did to overcome there fear and go to the gym I also have an extreme fear of men I don’t know why but I find it difficult to be around men or for men to look at me so I would also like advice on how to possibly avoid men in the gym or what will make me less noticeable if that makes any sense

here is the short story about going somewhere that is not exactly comfortable - go over and over and comfort of going will take over and you will never remember when you were NOT comfortable there.

Pam934789975321

I had these same fears and expressed them to my son and his answer was "Nobody cares". Seriously, nobody is looking at you thinking anything. You won't be the only fat person there. If you can afford it, get a personal trainer. If not do what I did, join Golds Gym and take their classes. They have cardio, cycle and core classes to help you get in shape. You will be much better off at the gym with like minded supportive people rather than with a bully brother at home. You will make friends there and it will become easier as time passes. In fact, it may become addictive. You will soon crave the positive energy and the people there, not to mention watching the pounds drop off. You can do it.

stanmann571

I see 3 issues, and they're really the same,
1. your brother intimidates you
2. Going out intimidates you
3. Being at the gym intimidates you

My recommendation is to pick the one that is either the least threatening, or the most threatening... and go after it. Ultimately, you've got to eat the whole elephant(snake) so you can either start with the part that's most digestible, and build up confidence for the next part, or grab the worst part and get it over with.

Pretty much everyone has dealt with this at some point. coping strategies vary.... For me... I dress to communicate that when I'm training... I don't care about anything. Dayglo green capris, pink wristbands/headband, blue/green/pink socks... But here's the side note. If they're noticing the way I'm dressed, they're already staring, so whether they go WT *kitten* is he wearing or WTK is he doing running fat man, It doesn't matter.

mulecanter

Ditto above. A couple thoughts. First, when I see someone at the gym who is really heavy or whatever I may look at them (I don't know how that person interprets my look) but in my head I'm thinking, that person is taking charge of their life and getting down to business to right their ship---bravo! Second, a strategy to help you with self-consciousness might be to don headphones and listen to favorite music or a podcast in which you can immerse yourself. Like many above have said, most people are also wearing headphones and self-engrossed. Focus on what you are doing. If you have a question about how to do an exercise or machine, find a gym regular and ask--they will be flattered and thrilled to help you I guarantee it.

Fitnessmom82

mulecanter wrote: »

If you have a question about how to do an exercise or machine, find a gym regular and ask--they will be flattered and thrilled to help you I guarantee it.

This is great advice!! I see the regulars helping out newbies quite often at my gym. I was struggling with a machine once and one of the regular guys came right over and helped me out. I liked getting the help and you could tell they were happy to give the help. The regular guys in the weight lifting area will usually help lift heavier weights that someone left on a machine too. I've been at my gym for 7 months now and can really see how everyone wants everyone to succeed. I never thought that way before. I assumed everyone was judgy or obnoxious. If you decide to go, commit to a set time if you can. Before you know it you will be one of the regulars!

ritzvin

Fitnessmom82 wrote: »

mulecanter wrote: »

If you have a question about how to do an exercise or machine, find a gym regular and ask--they will be flattered and thrilled to help you I guarantee it.

This is great advice!! I see the regulars helping out newbies quite often at my gym. I was struggling with a machine once and one of the regular guys came right over and helped me out. I liked getting the help and you could tell they were happy to give the help. The regular guys in the weight lifting area will usually help lift heavier weights that someone left on a machine too. I've been at my gym for 7 months now and can really see how everyone wants everyone to succeed. I never thought that way before. I assumed everyone was judgy or obnoxious. If you decide to go, commit to a set time if you can. Before you know it you will be one of the regulars!

(except maybe January when a larger percentage of regulars are rooting for the new and almost universally temporary army of resolutioners to throw in the towel as soon as possible so the gym crowded-ness resumes normalcy. but otherwise, yes - the regulars are generally rooting for people to succeed and become one of them (the regulars).)

Stoshew71

cwolfman13 wrote: »

maryjane159 wrote: »

I really want to go to the gym to gain confidence and tone up my body and lose abit of extra flab I have going however I have extreme anxiety I’m scared to even go outside most of the time because I always feel judged by others or people are staring/talking about me and the gym scares me so much because it will be full of fit and healthy people while I’m fat and will be red and out of breath. I try to exercise at home but I have an evil older brother who always taunts and bullies me for it and even makes videos of me to laugh at. I really want to try and overcome my fear anyway by going to the gym but every time I attempt to go I will end up standing outside for ages too scared to go inside so I just want advice from others who suffer like this and what they did to overcome there fear and go to the gym I also have an extreme fear of men I don’t know why but I find it difficult to be around men or for men to look at me so I would also like advice on how to possibly avoid men in the gym or what will make me less noticeable if that makes any sense

I've been in and out of gyms for much of my life..while there are fit and healthy people in the gym, I'd say the vast majority are actually in the, "trying to get fit and healthy boat." Beyond that, the fit and healthy one's started somewhere...and many of them started as overweight noobs too.

THIS!!!

ValeriePlz wrote: »

I felt awkward at the gym at first, but realize that almost no one is looking at you. Everyone's into their own thing.

and THIS!!!!

WillingtoLose1001984

Pam934789975321 wrote: »

I had these same fears and expressed them to my son and his answer was "Nobody cares". Seriously, nobody is looking at you thinking anything. You won't be the only fat person there. If you can afford it, get a personal trainer. If not do what I did, join Golds Gym and take their classes. They have cardio, cycle and core classes to help you get in shape. You will be much better off at the gym with like minded supportive people rather than with a bully brother at home. You will make friends there and it will become easier as time passes. In fact, it may become addictive. You will soon crave the positive energy and the people there, not to mention watching the pounds drop off. You can do it.

At a Golds Gym where i live they had aerobic machines in a special area in low lighting and a female only area. I really liked it. Some gyms are really nice. Now I am in a small town and the closest gym is down the street and it is a little harder anxiety wise to go there because that is where I was called fat and there are a lot of guys and it is small. I would definitely look into a community gym if you can.

Lounmoun

If you have extreme anxiety please consider getting professional help.
My dd had a hard time leaving the house because of her anxiety and therapy and medication have made a difference in her ability to handle situations that make her anxious. Talk to someone.

Try just going for a walk. Walking is exercise. You can get an inexpensive pedometer and increase your steps gradually.
Go with a friend to the gym. Sometimes it is easier if you are not alone. Join a class.
Go to the gym at a less busy time.
Work out at a friend's home or the home of some other family member.k
I don't know how old you are but maybe make it a priority to move away from your abusive brother.

Jennthebassjunkie

I too had this major anxiety about stepping foot into the gym.. Turns out Lorazepam is MY jam! took one of those little pill, walked in and OWNED that gym! Talk to you doctor about anxiety! I don't need it when I go now, just had to get over that hump, and realize no one really cares what I look like at the gym!