Help with mindset please

janisseshirley

when I was growing up we always had to remain at the table and finish every bite before we got up from the table. We were always told food was hard to come by and never to waste it. Because of this reason it always seemed like my brothers and sisters would give me the food they never could finish. I was the leftover kid. With this drilled in my head for years I find it hard to just quit eating or feel it is okay not to finish my plate. I have went to a smaller plate and that has helped somewhat. I would like to be able to also feel full and find a good place to stop when eating, but I think because I indulged so much as a child I don't know when I am full, or at least I don't know the meaning of feeling "full". Can someone tell me a way I can guage this now. I don't ever seem to feel full.

vanmep

I grew up similar to this and it is only now in my fifties that I have started to challenge the thinking. There is nothing inherently worthwhile about finishing your plate. Certainly not in comparison with loving and caring for yourself. I try to focus on taking smaller plates and portions. And when I mess up, I focus on loving and caring for myself and I throw out the food.

concordancia

Better it go to waste than my waist. This is especially true if you are overweight enough to be having health issues.

1houndgal

Chew your food slowly in smaller bites. Gives the brain time to catch up with the stomach, to get the message you are full.

Routine is good. Schedule daily your meals and snacks.

Smaller portions, not too heavy in fat. Fat eaten in excess can really slow down digestion.

Just some tips my dietician told me that helped me years ago.

1houndgal

1houndgal wrote: »

Chew your food slowly in smaller bites. Gives the brain time to catch up with the stomach, to get the message you are full.

Routine is good. Schedule daily your meals and snacks.

Smaller portions, not too heavy in fat. Fat eaten in excess can really slow down digestion.

Just some tips my dietician told me that helped me years ago.

Excercise can help with working up an appetite. If you are just starting out with excercise, try a walk for 15 mins before meals.

Time your snacks halfway between meals, not so close to meal times that it kills your appetite.

katnadreau

I never feel full, so basically what I do is just serve up, and eat one serving of whatever it is, and call it good (as long as it fits in my calories). I can feel full, but 5 minutes later feel like I could eat again. I don't need to, I know I'm not actually hungry, but I could fit more food in there. I try to hit my protein, fiber, and fat goals each day and if I do I figure I've gotten what I need and just let ignore that voice that trys to convince me to eat something just because it will taste good. the voice occasionally wins, but I'm getting stronger.

100_PROOF_

I grew up similar. What helps me now is to prepare smaller portions thus having less to waste.

If I do prepare larger portions,I seal them up in ziplock bags or Tupperware and freeze them for another day so there's nothing wasted.

Put your portion in your plate and eat. Save the rest for later.

I used to feel guilty throwing out bananas that where too ripe but now I've come to the conclusion that if I paid for it, I can do what I want with it. If it's not good to me, I toss it out. I don't intentionally waste food but heck, if I don't want it then I'll toss it.

I have dogs so I can lessen some of the" wasted" food by feeding it to them. If I've made too much rice and don't want to save it, I'll just mix it into their food. This way it wasn't a waste.

If I have new packaged foods that I don't want, I just drop them off at the homeless shelter. You know how sometimes you'll buy something thinking that you'll prepare it but never do? Instead of it sitting in my cabinet, I'll just drop it off to them. This way it wasn't wasted food or wasted money because someone else is going to use it.

Most of all, I just learned that I couldn't let my past predict my future. Just because I was raised a certain way, doesn't mean I needed to stay stuck in those ways. It was freeing to let go of some of the things I was taught as a child. I look at it like If I want to throw away food, it's my choice as I paid for it.

Faebert

Great tips above. Something that really resonated with me was once reading that if you are finishing all the leftovers as an alternative to throwing them away, you are effectively treating your body like a dustbin. Helped me to throw away my kids’ leftovers rather than be the human waste disposal!

JeromeBarry1

I had to learn that I was not a garbage disposal chute for the excess food in the house. The first time you throw something out, it's scary. You'll survive. The second time, you know you got this.

kommodevaran

I grew up the same way! As an adult, I used to make enormous portions just because I could get it down, so I figured I needed it. Google THE HUNGER SCALE, it helped me; my scale was "starving" and "stuffed", now I can feel something inbetween, usually. Keep in mind that hunger and satiety is individual, subjective, habitual and situational, so you'll have to work on it, not just memorize it, also look at many different versions, including some that deal with the difference between hunger and cravings, physical and emotional hunger.

I too hate throwing out food, so now I portion out when I meal plan, shop, cook and serve myself. It's rare that I feel like I'm "supposed to" after a meal; I often want to eat more even though I know I've had enough, or even if I'm stuffed, the fullness "grows" after a meals, but also comes and goes, hunger is often easier to tolerate than cravings, and so on. So I just have to trust my own common sense, and leave it at that. I also weigh myself every morning and keep track of the numbers so I know I'm eating enough - "eating enough" isn't really my problem, lol - I can adjust if I'm trending upwards (I'm in maintenance).

Wilkersonla

I couldn't change my mindset so instead I assigned value to food. Nutrient dense food is too valuable to throw away (pretty much just fruit, veggies, lean meat, and nuts.) Anything unhealthy has so little value it's ok to throw away. In fact it takes value away from my health so throwing it away is doing myself a favor.

h1udd

I plate up small portions and put leftovers in bowls that I LEAVE in the kitchen ... If I or my wife and child really are still hungry after dinner, we have to go back to the kitchen for seconds. ... IF not the food gets put in the fridge/freezer for another time.

Its hard though, I never EVER feel full .... well, other than the other day where I made Protein fluff and swore I would never eat again .. BLURGH, too much foam

kommodevaran

Wilkersonla wrote: »

I couldn't change my mindset so instead I assigned value to food. Nutrient dense food is too valuable to throw away (pretty much just fruit, veggies, lean meat, and nuts.) Anything unhealthy has so little value it's ok to throw away. In fact it takes value away from my health so throwing it away is doing myself a favor.

Assigning value to food and dividing food into good/bad was exactly what ruined my relationship with food. Happy for you if it works for you though.

flosoup24

kommodevaran wrote: »

Wilkersonla wrote: »

I couldn't change my mindset so instead I assigned value to food. Nutrient dense food is too valuable to throw away (pretty much just fruit, veggies, lean meat, and nuts.) Anything unhealthy has so little value it's ok to throw away. In fact it takes value away from my health so throwing it away is doing myself a favor.

Assigning value to food and dividing food into good/bad was exactly what ruined my relationship with food. Happy for you if it works for you though.

Exactly this!! Giving food that meaning has completely warped my sense of food.

LivingtheLeanDream

I was brought up to clear my plate as well. You've made inroads by now using smaller plates - What I will say is, if you are weighing the foods you are eating so you know the portions you have placed on your plate are ok then its fine to still clear your plate. If you haven't used a food scale before, make a start. It's eye opening and in time you'll get to know what portion sizes should look like.

It takes time to realise we are full, eat your meals slowly, enjoying and savouring each bite. Listen to the cues of your brain/body telling you that you are filling up. I found eating out was when it became the biggest problem, because I felt I was wasting food. It took me ages to get used to leaving some food on the side of my plate if I was full. Now I have no problem, better it goes in the bin than lead me to over eat and thus gain. Plus I hate that feeling of being overfull so I'm happy to quit while I'm ahead.

janisseshirley

It takes time to realise we are full, eat your meals slowly, enjoying and savouring each bite. Listen to the cues of your brain/body telling you that you are filling up.

I have been eating slowly, even chewing every bite like 20 x's. You say listen to the cues of your brain telling you that you are full. That's my problem I don't seem to be having those cues. I am not lying when I say I can overeat and not ever feel full. Will this ever change?

rheddmobile

My family ate gigantic portions and I grew up with no sense of how much I should be eating. What helps me is putting my plate on the food scale, hitting tare, and then loading my plate with the correct weight of each food right there in the kitchen. I don't think I am ever going to get that feeling of "full now, stop," but the scale is a substitute, and when I eat good, reasonably prepared foods instead of fat and sugar laden calorie bombs, I am no longer hungry after eating.

cheryldumais

After dieting for a year and consuming smaller portions to stay in my calorie budget I decided on my birthday to eat whatever I wanted. I got sick and was miserably full on about half what I used to eat. So to answer your question... Yes you will eventually feel full.

TeaBea

janisseshirley wrote: »

It takes time to realise we are full, eat your meals slowly, enjoying and savouring each bite. Listen to the cues of your brain/body telling you that you are filling up.

I have been eating slowly, even chewing every bite like 20 x's. You say listen to the cues of your brain telling you that you are full. That's my problem I don't seem to be having those cues. I am not lying when I say I can overeat and not ever feel full. Will this ever change?

Look for the volume eaters thread here. Perhaps, bulk up every one of your meals.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10563959/volume-eaters-thread/p1

ahoy_m8

h1udd wrote: »

Its hard though, I never EVER feel full .... well, other than the other day where I made Protein fluff and swore I would never eat again .. BLURGH, too much foam

This made me laugh. Great description!

kommodevaran

janisseshirley wrote: »

It takes time to realise we are full, eat your meals slowly, enjoying and savouring each bite. Listen to the cues of your brain/body telling you that you are filling up.

I have been eating slowly, even chewing every bite like 20 x's. You say listen to the cues of your brain telling you that you are full. That's my problem I don't seem to be having those cues. I am not lying when I say I can overeat and not ever feel full. Will this ever change?

I think you're inventing problems (or internalizing media created problems). You can enjoy your food even if you eat fast. Masticating sounds like the opposite of food enjoyment. Most people can overeat and never feel full. Lots of people are also overweight. Hunger and stuffed-ness are obvious feedback signals. You can learn to get hints to fullness, if you want to, and practice a lot, but they are and will never be anything but subtle. And you don't need them, like you need food and water and air and shelter. They are nice to have, like TV and designer shoes. That's why we weigh and log our food, and if we want to, learn what reasonable portions look like.