How to say NO?
haleysimmons3
Posts: 2 Member
How do you hold yourself accountable when placed in a situation that can get you off track with your diet? My number one problem is I have trouble saying no to food or unhealthy snacks (I LOVE FOOD)... What are some tricks to staying on track?
Thanks,
Haley!
Thanks,
Haley!
6
Replies
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I can't help with the "unhealthy" part because I eat whatever I want but just log it and adjust your food diary as needed. That's really the gist of keeping yourself accountable on a calorie logging website.7
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This is where your "will" must kick in.
If you were to put tempting foods on one side of the scale and the desire to be an attractive and healthy weight which would win?
If the temptations win.....you are not ready to make sacrifices.
Just remember continuing as you are just gets worse as time goes by.
You have to be ready to make the decision and then move on it!6 -
Make a list of your favourite foods that you just can't live without. My #1 is dark chocolate. I make sure to fit my Lindt or Brookside into my daily calorie allotment even if it means sacrificing something else (like a mid-afternoon cookie or muffin).
For me, it's kind of like going shopping on a limited budget. Every time you pick something up, you have to ask yourself if you can afford it and if it's really worth it.7 -
It takes practice.
1) Realize that "loving food" also means loving vegetables and whole grains and many fats and protein rich things. "Loving food" means respecting the food that is meant to come in certain quantities, it means giving yourself some space from certain foods at certain times, it means embracing all kinds of food. Don't confuse love with obsession.
2) Set realistic goals. Eating enough of nutrition packed foods can go along way. If you are cutting out certain foods, be realistic. Under what circumstances would you be allowed to have chocolate cake again? Decide now, rather than when the chocolate cake is in front of you. That way, when the there is chocolate cake in front of you, you don't have a decision to make, yes if it fits your criteria, no if it does not.
3) Just say no. Again, just practice with no food in front of you. If you think of stopping by McDonald's before you even leave the house just say no and think about what you will have instead (as an example, if McDonald's works for you, I am not judging).
3a) For many people, it helps to prelog foods. Make it a part of your daily routine to decide what you are going to eat all day (or the next day). Log your menu and make any necessary adjustments through the day. This makes it easier to say no to to the donut because you are looking forward to the dark chocolate after dinner.
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I do everything I can to have nutritous and yummy alternatives available. If I know ahead of time, I make sure to eat before going, too. If it’s something that suddenly appears at work in front of me, I don’t let myself acknowledge that it exists. I learned not to give a rat’s behind if me repeatedly saying NO to their repeated offers of non-nutritious foods seems rude to anyone. Usually, looking them in the eye and firmly saying “no means no, even with food” shuts them up. Ultimately if I wind up eating something I did not intend to eat, I just say “okay, I did that, now keep eating the nutritious stuff.” One cupcake does not a body ruin.1
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Thats is true....your calorie allotment is like a bank account. You either have enough money for this and that or you don't.6
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ldscott716 wrote: »I do everything I can to have nutritous and yummy alternatives available. If I know ahead of time, I make sure to eat before going, too. If it’s something that suddenly appears at work in front of me, I don’t let myself acknowledge that it exists. I learned not to give a rat’s behind if me repeatedly saying NO to their repeated offers of non-nutritious foods seems rude to anyone. Usually, looking them in the eye and firmly saying “no means no, even with food” shuts them up. Ultimately if I wind up eating something I did not intend to eat, I just say “okay, I did that, now keep eating the nutritious stuff.” One cupcake does not a body ruin.
I love this "no means no." I don't have any pushers around right now, but I have been known to say "It seems more rude to force someone to eat something they don't want." I have also just taken something "for later" and thrown it out. The choice probably depends on my stress and hormone levels as much as the person doing the pushing.
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My diet is just what I eat, there is no going on/off track. I love food, so I don't abuse it. Starting out with a terrible relationship with food, 50 pounds excess weight and disgusted with my body and fighting my own mind, this is a process that has taken me a few years, and it's not over yet. Removing the division between healthy and unhealthy food (which is arbitrary anyway; only a diet can be more or less healthy, it's about dosage, frequency and context), was actually a big step in learning to say no thanks. It takes away the guilt, because being accountable also means that I allow myself, freely, to enjoy whatever I want of what is offered, takes away the panic, because there is never a "need" to EAT ALL THE FOODS because this is THE LAST CHANCE EVER to eat anything remotely decent, and GETTING IT OVER WITH ALREADY does no longer make sense because I trust that there's always gong to be a tomorrow or later day filled with new choices and opportunities.9
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ldscott716 wrote: »I do everything I can to have nutritous and yummy alternatives available. If I know ahead of time, I make sure to eat before going, too. If it’s something that suddenly appears at work in front of me, I don’t let myself acknowledge that it exists. I learned not to give a rat’s behind if me repeatedly saying NO to their repeated offers of non-nutritious foods seems rude to anyone. Usually, looking them in the eye and firmly saying “no means no, even with food” shuts them up. Ultimately if I wind up eating something I did not intend to eat, I just say “okay, I did that, now keep eating the nutritious stuff.” One cupcake does not a body ruin.
Sometimes I think people keep offering those foods so they won't feel so bad about themselves eating it. Lol
Early this week I had to walk past a box of donuts about 45 times (not exaggerating) during my shift. At the end of the day I felt pretty proud I refrained. I make it a goal to kick those goodies *kitten* and show 'em who is the boss!7 -
GOT_Obsessed wrote: »ldscott716 wrote: »I do everything I can to have nutritous and yummy alternatives available. If I know ahead of time, I make sure to eat before going, too. If it’s something that suddenly appears at work in front of me, I don’t let myself acknowledge that it exists. I learned not to give a rat’s behind if me repeatedly saying NO to their repeated offers of non-nutritious foods seems rude to anyone. Usually, looking them in the eye and firmly saying “no means no, even with food” shuts them up. Ultimately if I wind up eating something I did not intend to eat, I just say “okay, I did that, now keep eating the nutritious stuff.” One cupcake does not a body ruin.
Sometimes I think people keep offering those foods so they won't feel so bad about themselves eating it. Lol
Early this week I had to walk past a box of donuts about 45 times (not exaggerating) during my shift. At the end of the day I felt pretty proud I refrained. I make it a goal to kick those goodies *kitten* and show 'em who is the boss!
How true!!
OP I have a problem with this too. I work in a hospital and someone is always bringing donuts, cookies, etc., or having a birthday (which equals cake, of course!) I now log and prepare my food the night before. When I'm offered the unhealthy stuff, I politely tell them no thank you, I only eat what I bring to work. When I first started doing this the "well meaning" co-workers would try to encourage me to break my resolution. I've told some of them to their face that encouraging me to eat food I have refused is rude. I don't tell them what to eat or not, they should extend the same courtesy to me (always with a smile and a polite tone of voice, btw.) I still have to remind them sometimes but it's getting better. I feel like the "food Nazis" should not get a pass because they are "just being nice" because they're not nice. The best thing about bringing their dysfunctional behavior to their attention? They stop it when they realize that you have them figured out. Saying no gets easier with practice, too.
You also get another life lesson: You learn very quickly to stop caring what others think of you.1 -
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I have learned there are trigger foods where it is hard to just eat little of and even if I can fit a large portion into my calorie allotments it isn't good to do every day.
There is no such thing as 1 serving of caramel popcorn for me, it is either 5 or none. These types of foods try to stay away from most of time and then occasionally treat myself.
Chocolate on the other hand I can mostly manage portion sizes and eat it daily. However I am finding setting aside a no chocolate day helps me reset my willpower.2 -
What do you mean by "on track"...I eat a very nutritious diet overall...I also eat things that aren't as nutritionally sound...I don't consider that to be "off track"
It's like money...I pay my bills and meet my required obligations...and then sometimes I go to the casino or by myself something frivolous and fun.5 -
I find it hard when going to a friends place for dinner, for example. We have pot-lucks occasionally or barbecues. There’s ALWAYS finger food and pre dinner snacks, and I love that sort of stuff.
So I usually do some of the below-
- Pre-log my food for the day, the the best of my ability (much easier to do if I know what’s for dinner, which usually I can find out). I pre-log every day anyway, helps me stay on track.
- Sit away from temptations when I’m there (like at the other end of the table to where the food is). If I have to consciously get up and move to the food in order to eat some, I find I’m less likely to do it.
- Offer to bring a dish/ nibbles/ a dessert. That way I know exactly how many calories are in the food, which makes it easier to work out what I can eat.
- Eat lighter on the day of/ for a couple of days before/ or exercise on the day of so I have extra calories to play with.
It’s not easy, but it’s manageable. You just have to figure out what’s going to work for you. Good luck!1 -
My mom is a food pusher. She's just doing it to be hospitable. I walk in knowing I'm going to need to say No a bunch of times. We're both fine with this.
I have asked her to stop offering me the cookies that I have a hard time saying No to even though I don't really like them, and she has cooperated.2 -
positivepowers wrote: »
No cake for me I just do not have enough in my account1 -
Just say no. If people keep insisting tell them you can't eat what they are forcing on you for health/allergy reasons. When going into an unknown situation I try to take my own food along.0
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I understand exactly what you are saying- it is not easy to just say no- otherwise no one would have a weight issue! The best thing for me when I was losing weight was to imagine what the food tasted like. In other words, I love Reese's peanut butter cups. I have eaten them a million times though, and I already know how they taste. So, I would just imagine eating one. I did this for pretty much every food that did not fit in my calorie allotment, and it actually works! Now, if I still had calories to spare...I would definitely eat the peanut butter cup!
I also agree with others who suggest pre-logging for the day, especially days where you would typically go over your allotment. It sort of makes you not want to "mess it up" if that makes sense.2 -
By saying YES to healthy food instead! Or, yes to the unhealthy food but in small amounts. Or! Getting healthier versions of my unhealthy favorites. ^-^1
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I log my food at the beginning of each day with estimates of portions as I weigh as I go along. If something unplanned comes my way I will know if I have any spare calories and whether there is something I am willing to forgo in place of this item. From this I can work out if that food is worth it for me. Prelogging is my key for success.3
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Realize that 'no' usually means 'not right now'; it's not a rest of your life, permanent no. Telling yourself you can never have anything will backfire - hard. So while 'not right now' may end up being never, making it a 'maybe later' instead of a hard 'no' makes it easier.5
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haleysimmons3 wrote: »How do you hold yourself accountable when placed in a situation that can get you off track with your diet?
No one else is going to hold me accountable!
If there's a challenging situation coming up, it can help me to "pre-script" it in my head, then rehearse that script in my head a few times as vividly as possible, like a little movie I'm playing in.
For example, if I'm going to dinner with friends, I might look up the restaurant menu online, plan what I'll order. Thinking through the social side, I might plan to orderr a small side salad with a low-cal dressing on the side, and ask the server to bring it with my friends' appetizers so I'm not just sitting while they eat tempting things and offer me a taste. If I think they'll urge that taste on me anyway, I can either factor a taste into my calorie goal, or imagine telling them something like "no thanks - eating lightly, still full from lunch". If there are drinks, I'll plan what to order that fits my goal, and order a large water alongside to sip so I don't gulp the caloric drink. I'll imagine myself sipping slowly so that when my friends order another round, I have some left and can say "go ahead, I'll wait til I'm done with this, and maybe catch up later". Etc.
So, imagine the situation & challenges, think of strategies, vividly imagine what you'll do and say, rehearse mentally a few times. When the event comes, start your script and stay on it.My number one problem is I have trouble saying no to food or unhealthy snacks (I LOVE FOOD)... What are some tricks to staying on track?
A lot of these moments are tradeoffs between brief pleasure for our current self, vs. a better life for our future self. The current moment seems much more vital and real. But the future is real, too.
Older Haley doesn't enjoy being overweight, unhealthy, with joint problems, maybe even mobility issues. Those things constrain her life activities, cost her money, make her feel sick and unhappy. You don't have to make every choice every day to benefit future Haley at the expense of current Haley's enjoyment. But it may help to think about her now and then, and take some steps to be kind to her, because she's you, too.
I'm 62. I'm not a person who looks back and regrets things, because it's pointless: Nothing I can do to change the past. But there are definitely choices I could've made differently that would've improved my current situation and the decades in between. I'm just trying, now, to make choices that better value future Ann as well as current Ann.
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It's ok to be hungry and not eat.3
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Say no till they get the message. Get it across however you have to - be mean, rude, yell, any combination thereof.
I live with my grandmother and if I accepted food every time she offered some I'd be well into the overweight/obese category. She got the message that I'll come up for food when I want to, not when she tries to force it down my throat.0 -
I always pre-logged my days meals, knowing that I had or hadn't calories left is what I would have acted on. The more you say no, the easier it gets imo.0
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This might sound stupid, but I always try to think of what "tomorrow Alyssa" would say. Sure, that doughnut might be delicious today, but tomorrow/all week when I'm cutting calories to make it work, that doughnut won't feel as good anymore. If it fits within my goals - I don't have problem eating it. But I also don't want to make life harder for myself in the end. (Doughnut just being used as an example)
I find this helps a lot of my choices. It's easy to want something in the moment, but I like to look at the bigger picture too.2 -
It is hard, esp at the start! I love eating out at restaurants. There is literally ONE restaurant in my town that I don't like. I have a one page calendar, and for every day I exercise I do a circle, staying in calories is a an X, and not eating out is a line. So I do't want to break my streak of the week, so I find that helps.0
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Stay firm and eat what you feel is right for you. You can't let people make decisions for you.0
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Envision yourself where you want to be-weight, health, muscle mass, etc. Then, when temptation comes along (and it always does) call to mind your vision of yourself at your goal. Hold that in your mind until the temptation passes. This works for me better than anything else. Reminding myself how good it feels to be at an optimal weight or size or how I feel when I am fit enough to do the activities I enjoy, beats back the urge to eat junk.1
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