Husband calling me fat?
Replies
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I'm not a troll. he texted me he wanted to separate. and then he came home, and said he was really sorry and wanted to make our marriage work.
2weeks ago your husband wanted a divorce. He came home and changed his mind. Now he is calling you fat.
Still not sure this isn't just for attention.0 -
You know, I really wish that you were trolling because it hurts my heart to hear that your husband treats you like that. The situation sounds toxic. Please insist on couple counseling to see if there is anything salvageable in your relationship or if it is time to move on. I know that we're only getting limited glimpses into your life here, but what you're describing is not ok.0
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....0
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Sadly its all true. i know i have a lot of issues. i'm not proud of every thing in my life. but i'm not a liar. the only reason i post things is because i'm feeling alone and just want some one to talk to and understand and care. but i never lie and make up stuff.0
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I would tell him how bad it makes you feel to hear the one you love say hurtful things like this and tell him that you dont do anhything hateful like to him so you DO NOT deserve that treatment and it is Unacceptable!!!
He knows you are working on the lil bit of weight you have put on and it should be NO big deal!!
Good Luck!!!0 -
My friend who is no longer with us was having husband troubles, she told that her husband went over there and changed, so I don't know if that is what happening to you.0
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I am hoping this verbal abuse isn't heard by your children. Imagine the imprint your husband's behavior is leaving in their minds...hummm...and where do children learn to bully? From whom do they develop a healthy body image? I completely agree with the other MFP folks who recommend you and your husband get professional help. The resentment you are feeling needs to be dealt with, he needs help, and both of you need to consider how this might impact your children. I'm sure there's lots of stuff going on in your relationship right now...this sounds like the tip of the proverbial iceberg.0
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Uhmmm in your last post u said he just left you and wanted a divorce and you're too depressed to eat. So which story are we suppose to believe?
Great detective work!!!0 -
I don't think he really even understands what it means to love someone and be in a marriage with them. It's a vow to be there for the other person no matter what the circumstances. And like the other posters have been saying, you're not even near being fat. This guy is a douche bag. I think the best thing to do is tell him what everyone's been saying and tell him that he needs to be there to support you and etc. I'm really sorry you need to deal with this. You deserve better and that doesn't necessarily mean be with another man. Maybe he'll change if you tell him exactly how mean he's being and how he should be acting. This guy needs to clean up his act!0
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You know, I really wish that you were trolling because it hurts my heart to hear that your husband treats you like that. The situation sounds toxic. Please insist on couple counseling to see if there is anything salvageable in your relationship or if it is time to move on. I know that we're only getting limited glimpses into your life here, but what you're describing is not ok.
This.
You're only 24. You have a lot of life ahead of you. Think about how you want to spend it.0 -
I don't understand how this story makes someone a troll? It sounds like they have a lot going on. Someone wanting a divorce and changing their mind and insulting their spouse is not out of the ordinary in our screwed up world. IMO you should make up his mind for him. Sounds like he is unhappy and is staying but in the mean time whats to make you as miserable as he is. I hope you can see through it and look into yourself and do what is best for you and your kids. Good luck.0
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If someone I am in a relationship with were to insult me, I would call them out on that behavior and let them know it is not acceptable to call me names. If they continued to do so, I would consider how to avoid that situation arising again, such as removing that person from my home or daily life.
You are an adult and responsible for your relationships. If you feel that people are mistreating you, you need to be reactive in an assertive manner and proactive in preventing that from happening again. You can’t change other people or how they behave. You can only remain responsible for how you react to their behavior.0 -
Rule # One: Boys are dumb.
He's being mean and thoughtless and hurtful. Men don't get that we girls are super-sensitive about our looks and his comments are really total BS. But he is yours, and unless you want divorce court, he will continue to be. Maybe you can sit down and talk to him, tell him you know your weight is an issue and you're working on it. Explain that his support is critical, and be honest when you tell him his dumb comments HURT. Sometimes they don't even realize what they say is really almost killing us. If he really isnt' going to be "nice' and love you no matter what, there is nothing to do but prepare for a life with support from outside sources. When the going gets really tough, how will his behavior affect you? Life is long, life is hard. This could be a good chance to open communication about what is really important and expected. Love is supposed to be unconditional. Not "I'll love you forever...unless you get fat". Again, he may not even realize what he said, or the maginitude of his words. Give him a chance to understand. And try not to let his hateful comments break you. We all change as we age, you just need to figure out how to deal with the new physical you, and get to a place physcially where you're healhty and happy. That might not be the "old you". But the "new you" will be even better because of the experience.0 -
Divorce him and log the weight lost on your ticker
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I'd tell you to find a new husband but that's not the most practical solution. If he appreciated you for you, he wouldn't view you differently because your appearance changed. As a guy who prefers tiny women, I can say that tastes are hard to change. However, my feelings didn't change a bit when my girlfriend gained 30 pounds. In fact, she was just as appealing to me. We worked together as a couple to get her back in shape and yes, she ended up in better shape than before she gained in the first place. I'm not taking credit for it, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been as easy for her if I had make her conscious of it. Just surround yourself with the right people
Your approach is the way it should be. You provided a solution to the issue.0 -
I would write "Fat" on the door and walk out of it....let him think on that for a while..In permanent marker..let him figure how to scrub it off and explain to everyone why its on there. I wouldn't make a fuss probably just go get my nails done or something or go for a walk while he thinks.....If he cared enough to do so.0
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Spoken like a real genuine MAN!!I'd tell you to find a new husband but that's not the most practical solution. If he appreciated you for you, he wouldn't view you differently because your appearance changed. As a guy who prefers tiny women, I can say that tastes are hard to change. However, my feelings didn't change a bit when my girlfriend gained 30 pounds. In fact, she was just as appealing to me. We worked together as a couple to get her back in shape and yes, she ended up in better shape than before she gained in the first place. I'm not taking credit for it, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been as easy for her if I had make her conscious of it. Just surround yourself with the right people
^^^^^^^^^^^This is awesome!^^^^^^^^^^^^0 -
Did he really call you "fat" or just make comments about you putting on some weight.
Not saying it's right either way, especially with a medical problem.
Just saying there are right and wrong ways to tell your spouse things.0 -
I would NEVER, and I mean never, tell my wife that she was fat, or ugly, or anything like that. It is an open wound for all men for some dumbass to say crap like that to their spouse, and it comes from both sexes.
I have a sister in law that talks to her husband like a child, calls him names, and he just sits there like a fool. I told my wife that I would leave in a heartbeat if she ever began talking to me like that and she would do the same. I have a daughter and would be as hard on her if she were in this situation.
You need to lay the rules down, be strong and fight for what you deserve or leave and start a new life with someone who is willing to show you some respect. If you can't find the will, or the gumption to stand up for yourself, you are in for a horrendous life of self loathing and pity. Stand up for yourself and demand some respect, a true man would fight to ensure your self worth remained in tact.0 -
Ok, I'm not always the nicest person, nor am I someone who goes looking for a reason to be a witch. But in your case I will share my witchy side with you.. Next time you see him naked, look over make a contemplative face staring at his genitals.. then say "hu, your prick is shrinking, I heard that can happen when men get older." walk out of the room with a perfectly straight face and go about your daily business, he will be in there trying to figure it out and term self conscious will have a whole new meaning for him.. When he pushes the subject just tell him it was just an observation from when ya'll got married to now.. sit back and watch him twitch, ..
Cheers,
:drinker:0 -
I'd tell you to find a new husband but that's not the most practical solution. If he appreciated you for you, he wouldn't view you differently because your appearance changed. As a guy who prefers tiny women, I can say that tastes are hard to change. However, my feelings didn't change a bit when my girlfriend gained 30 pounds. In fact, she was just as appealing to me. We worked together as a couple to get her back in shape and yes, she ended up in better shape than before she gained in the first place. I'm not taking credit for it, but I'm sure it wouldn't have been as easy for her if I had make her conscious of it. Just surround yourself with the right people
^^^^^^^^^^^This is awesome!^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is truth! My husband tells me I still look the same to him as the day we met...12 yrs ago. I know that my weight has probably made me 'less' desirable to him but he knows that I am working hard to look and feel better than the day we met. I wish you all the luck in the world. :flowerforyou:0 -
What is funny to me is that 30 years from now you'll both be as far from perfect as you'll have ever been, if you aren't working it through now, just think of the fun you'll have then.....0
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yeah, ditch that zero and get yo' self a hero.0
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I wish I could give you a hug. I'm sorry he is saying that to you and for the other wives who their husbands are saying these types of things to them too. My husband thinks I'm beautiful no matter what weight I am. Even when I was pregnant and at my highest weight, he was still crazy about me. I've never been skinny, but our bodies change over time. We live in a selfish and superficial society, and people buy into these lies.0
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Physical attraction should come secondary to "love". I have no patience for people who try to bring others down by verbal/emotional abuse. *I* would kick him to the curb. He's probably worried he will lose you if you get back to being "skinny".0
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well I would prolly tell him that he's just upset because his junk is too small...but that's me.
No, he shouldn't be hurtful, yes, he should be supportive. And prolly get off his own fat *kitten* and exercise with you.
what a jerk.0 -
Divorce him and log the weight lost on your ticker
This!
To be honest, if my "other half" isn't on board or supportive, bye bye! Left my ex over similar reason. I ain't got time for that!
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If he doesn't want you at your worst then he doesn't deserve you when you're at your best !!!!!0
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I'm sorry you are going through this, no one who is trying to better themselves should have to listen to other people belittle them. What he is doing is technically considered emotional abuse,he knows he's hurting you and continues to do it. Its no less degrading than if he as actually physically assaulting you.
I think the man has a serious mental problem if he thinks it is ok for a grownup to treat the woman he is supposed to love like this.0 -
Does your husband suffer from PTSD? It's extremely common in the service. You are not the cause of his emotional burden, in any event, and you have troubles of your own with responsibilities at home and a health crisis of your own. You, and he, probably shouldn't be trying to tackle your problems alone. You don't have to give up. I would definitely try to get both of you into counseling, because guess what - your husband is part of your children's lives for the rest of their lives. I know what happens when someone brings PTSD home. The whole family gets it.0
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