My Blog March 4

ysache13

I'm so glad I chose to blog this way for myself. I did try again just to see if the system would allow me to blog again but NOPE it just doesn't work for some of us, but thank God I can do this and it's what I need so I can come and add as much or little as "I" want! thank you Lord - Ok, so I'm feeling better as the minutes are passing. I can't believe I woke up again IN anxiety! I HATE it - I want to get out in a little bit here cause the sun's shining and just take a little walk to the mailbox and go in a few circles because it WILL make me feel even better. I'm worried over my stupid cable and how it'll turn out, but I'm feeling better and when the guy calls me in a few hours, I'm going to say yes to him and cancel my comcast even though I made a new contract with them yesterday. He said I have 30 days to cancel it and he better NOT be lieing to me! I don't seem to trust any of these companies any longer, as they've lied to me several times so maybe AT&T will be better. I love this kid from South America (I'm trying to get him to consider being a flight attendant) because he speaks spanish and it's good for Delta! Who by the way I'm proud of for standing up to the gun issue for the kids! Bravo - I am proud. So back to today I did weigh in and lost a lb. WOW I would have normally been THRILLED but waking up in anxiety, I felt nothing - but I'm glad now in my spirit, I really am. I hope before surgery I will be able to see a consistent loss - If I want 4 lbs a month then by the 14th I should have one more off and possibly 2 so that's my mini-mini goal, LOL - It will be weird not being able to weigh once I get that surgery and I don't want to really think about how painful and hard again it is. There's something to be said about knowing what I'm in for, and yet there's a lot to be said about going in blind. I'm trusting in the Lord with my life and He knows and will make a way and give me strength and remove ALL pain and will heal well in the end and I WILL walk because I believe, in Jesus name amen -

ysache13

Well still no news on Christopher and I'm proud of myself because I MADE myself go for a walk to the main street - it's nice and sunny, though chilly, I bundled up, put the orthodic in and took off! Was outside a good while and got in 2,000 steps. It's a nice little start and better than nothing for sure. I am on countdown to the surgery and need as much sun as I can possibly get before I won't be able to get out. My first goal will be to get on balcony even if there's no sun on this side. I'm encouragining myself. Waiting for ATT to call now and trying NOT to be nervous, I just need to see what he says and give it a try as long as it's wireless, I'm going to say YES to it! Writing as much as I desire is beautiful, it's really helping even with the anxiety - amazing little tool, but one I plan on using for a very long time - and it's all on here in my safe little weight place! Glory be to God (Lord, touch Christopher, give him sight that will open his spiritual eyes and he desires YOU, Lord bring someone to witness and come long side of him at the level he's at, and touch him, saving his soul and for a little extra blessing and for me, would you gift him to be a minister, preaching Your word and bringing hundreds of thousands to salvation, I believe and pray this in Jesus name, Amen and Amen - Love You Lord

ysache13

Well talked to a different cable person (that guy never called!) weird but looks like I still have a pending account, so tomorrow they will come out to see if it can be installed and if it can, I'm IN with changing cable and SAVING some money EVEN if I have to do this every year - period! Soooooooo, that's good but still no Christopher and like Phillip said, "mom, he's gonna do what he wants and he'll be in touch with us when he wants and if something awful were to even happen he's making his own choices" It's true but doesn't make it easy on me but I'm remaining calm I can say that and it's a blessing, so I'll enjoy the Oscar's now - and write tomorrow - I can do this too!