Staying positive while having bad body image...

78zmedina
78zmedina Posts: 9 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everybody. So I'm dealing with having bad body image thoughts because I gained weight last year while trying to lose weight. I just recently started tracking my calories again on MFP and having success. However, my opinion of my body has turned negative. Most days, I look in the mirror and focus on my flaws and think if only this part of my body were flatter or less fat, I would be ok. I used to get those thoughts and was able to deal with them but now I find myself doing it all the time. I'm paranoid to start dating because I think all a guy is going to focus on is how big my thighs are or how big my stomach is.. I need suggestions on how to get rid of these negative thoughts and be happy with how I look now knowing I'm working on myself and stay positive so I don't get side tracked on my fitness journey.
Thanks..

Replies

  • ironmadien
    ironmadien Posts: 8 Member
    I honestly feel your pain!
  • JaiNicole7
    JaiNicole7 Posts: 88 Member
    I second everything above. I struggle with this too. I used to dance (ballet and modern) & HAD a very nice body that I didn't "have to" work for per se. My nutrition left a lot to be desired, but my physique didn't reflect that. That was before LOL. Three 9 lb babies and years later when I look in the mirror it's like she said in the movie Titanic "reflection's changed a bit" LBVS. Sometimes it's hard to love what I see. TBH I hate it...and that is not a healthy state of mind.

    When those thoughts creep up I force myself to say at least one thing I love about myself. When I get down about my belly I'll say whoooweee I have some KILLER legs! I also dress to impress MYSELF. I try to wear things that I feel confident and sexy in, and I find that helps too. If nothing else please know you're not alone! ALL the positive vibes your way!
  • Mazintrov13
    Mazintrov13 Posts: 135 Member
    I feel you, I have struggled with self esteem issues my whole life despite always being at a normal weight or underweight and never feeling good enough or “perfect”.
    There has been a lot of great advice already, a few things that have helped me are using positive affirmations and stopping negative self talk, I actually find meditation is great for this and has helped me to find a more positive mind set. It sounds a bit “woo-ie” but it honestly has helped! I also recently deleted my Instagram account as I felt it was doing more harm than good and I found myself comparing myself too often. Also surround yourself with positive people and avoid people who put you down.
    It’s so easy to fall into the trap of never feeling good enough but just remember we usually judge ourselves a lot harsher compared to how others view us.
    Good luck X
  • Shredder583
    Shredder583 Posts: 180 Member
    Love yourself and dont believe all the body images you see as "HEALTHY." Social media is the worst place to compare yourself and look at body images. It can be toxic as it is unrealistic.
    Have a happy body image. Be proud of your skin and your genetic inheritances. We are all unique, but we can all change if we want, but we have to change our lives, diet, exercise, outlook and mindset. It is very psychological. I totally agree with all above comments especially about meditation and postive thinking. If you want to change you can but you have to be informed, educated and fully commited to yourself to make a difference. It starts with learning what will work for your body type and potion control with eating the right foods.
    I wish you all the best!
  • 78zmedina
    78zmedina Posts: 9 Member
    @Shredder583 @Mazintrov13 @JaiNicole7 @NerdyFlex @kellypim @jrulo16 thanks for all the responses and feedback. Monday was a particular bad day for me but I took a step back to realize how far I've come in general so let's keep it moving! Thanks again everyone!
  • MommyMeggo
    MommyMeggo Posts: 1,222 Member
    Methinks this is human nature. Weve heard since forever that we are our worst critic. I am the same way. I see only the things I dont like. Im coming out of severe depression <some days not> from a loss 10m ago, my mother. I coped by eating myself 26lbs heavier in those 10 months- and I already needed to lose 15 at the time. Im just now coming around to accept myself as I am-know that I will improve-I recognize my poor choices-I can see my future and plan for it- and I will allow myself time to do it.

    Its difficult because of how quickly we can put on weight but remember to go at your own pace. No one is timing you. Set small goals along the way. Dont make them all scale related either. Make some more attainable than others so you will start feeling successful sooner. Write them on your mirror, put inspiration in your car, on your fridge. Nothing to make you feel bad about yourself, or guilty -only positive things.

    Accept there will be bad days- let them come, and then let them go.
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,169 Member
    The mirror is a liar and typical bathroom lighting is unflattering. I actually had a cheap full length mirror that made me look fatter than the one my sister has at her house! Weird. Anyway, take a photo of yourself. Next month, take another one. Download the PicsArt app onto your phone. Make a collage, with the "before" picture next to your "progress so far" photo. Check out how successful you've been. We are our own worst critics, and the key to stopping those toxic attacks on yourself is to focus on how disciplined you're becoming with MFP, and how cool it is to buy a smaller size of jeans, and how much more energy you've got throughout the day. You're definitely on the right track!!
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Glad you are feeling better today.

    There’s body image worksheets here.

    http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

    Fighting negative thoughts reinforces them because that’s how minds work. The trick is to allow such thoughts to float by without judgement. Look up mindfulness exercises.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    edited March 2018
    Think of a friend or a loved one who is overweight. Is their stomach the only thing you see in them? Do you want to stop loving them because they're fat? Would you love them more if they weren't fat? How much of a role does their fatness play in your relationship?

    I find it helpful to remind myself that I'm being in my head which makes it feel like the world revolves around me and feelings get inflated and reality gets distorted. Others are complex beings just like me, they are able to see beyond my flaws just like I see beyond theirs. Heck, I'm pretty sure someone out there feels insecure about something that I don't even notice and if I did I wouldn't think much of it. What you think of as unattractive may be the exact thing that makes someone think "I like this".
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,281 Member
    amusedmonkey wrote: »
    Think of a friend or a loved one who is overweight. Is their stomach the only thing you see in them? Do you want to stop loving them because they're fat? Would you love them more if they weren't fat? How much of a role does their fatness play in your relationship?

    I find it helpful to remind myself that I'm being in my head which makes it feel like the world revolves around me and feelings get inflated and reality gets distorted. Others are complex beings just like me, they are able to see beyond my flaws just like I see beyond theirs. Heck, I'm pretty sure someone out there feels insecure about something that I don't even notice and if I did I wouldn't think much of it. What you think of as unattractive may be the exact thing that makes someone think "I like this".

    ^This. It sounds corny, but be your own best friend :heart: If you wouldn't say it to a good friend, you shouldn't say it to yourself.
  • kenyonhaff
    kenyonhaff Posts: 1,377 Member
    When you see yourself in a mirror, smile... Even if you don't feel it.

    Write down every day what you are grateful for about your body...it doesn't need to be about looks. It can be about function.

    Put a rubber band around your wrist. Every time you have a negative thought about your body, snap it. You may be surprised how often you let yourself hurt your own self image!
  • radbikerchick
    radbikerchick Posts: 39 Member
    Thing that help me with this:

    - distance yourself from the thoughts. Take a step back and realize that you don’t control every thought that pops up in your brain, YOU are not the thought. You have agency to examine the thought and recognize that ultimately it originated in society’s messaging about what is beautiful or acceptable. So there is no need to beat yourself up for having these thoughts - just try the recognize that you are capable of distancing yourself from them with a little self awareness.
    - If there are particular actions that seem to make it worse like looking in the mirror in crappy bathroom lighting, focus on somehow physically creating a barrier or an extra step you have to take to do that action. Try to gain some distance from m any environmental triggers to beating yourself up if you can manage it
    - Do things that make you feel strong or recognize what your body is capable of doing - take a walk, great on a hike... and be nice t your body and take a bath or get a massage
    - Recognize if anything else in your life might not be going great and this is causing you to redirect your negative thoughts on yourself as a coping mechanism
    - Read some body positive literature online.

    Good luck?
  • radbikerchick
    radbikerchick Posts: 39 Member
    Haha that was supposed to read ‘Good Luck!’

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