I'm new (sort of...)

anwickes

Hi all,

Today is the day that i'm committing to starting again and putting a stop to the spiral that is my life.
I am 32, married to a beautiful woman and have an amazing son.
I weigh 150kg (330 pound) and have averaged a gain of 10kg (22 pound) per year for the past 6 years.
Before then, I was training 5 days a week and was halfway through a course to become a personal trainer. I got there by using this MFP and its community. Between the years of 2009 and 2011, I lost 40kg and got down to my goal of 85kg.

As you can see, i'm a yo-yo. Always have been. Hopefully won't always be.

There are so many reasons in my life to lose weight.
- I watch my son bond with his fit uncle more than me because he can play bball and go swimming and i'm too anxious and afraid to do either.
- I end up in agony after just short spells of walking and have now started to pay for parking even though I could literally park my car less than 1km from my work.
- I am pre-diabetic.
- I have lost pretty much all my friends (used to be very social) as I have pushed them all away because I don't want them to see what i've become.
- My marriage is suffering as intimacy has become non-existent due to my self respect - or lack of it.

I start every day and every week with the goal that I will lose weight and by the end of the day, I feel like if I don't get takeaway or eat a bag of chips, I will literally explode.

I am NEVER hungry. I almost always eat bad food because i'm sad, happy or content.

I feel like this has to be it. A stop has to be applied. I'd love to hear from you all about your experiences. I'd love to know that i'm not the only one that's like this. I'd love to know that it's possible to stop being this way and to start living life. I want to stop being a slave to my addiction.


Adam

anwickes

PS that's an old photo!! Clearly... haha

xxerniexx

welcome back! i have recently started again myself. that's whats awesome about new days, you can start over!
i can relate to a crap ton of what you just wrote. pushing the friends away, marriage issues, and eating issues!

im currently 320+ (and going down) my heaviest was about 360ish. lowest in my adult life was 240 in 2003 when we got married. then its been up and down, up and down ever since. 3 years ago i got down to 270 and feeling strong, then i took a vacation for my birthday and never stopped eating until just January of 2018

baby steps man, you have have that takeout or that bag of chips but be mindful of all the rest you eat that day. drink all the water and start back to some training or cardio. i dont have kids so i can only guess at the added stresses but even still you have got to carve out some time for yourself to make sure you can be around for a long time for you son and wife! they need you!

add me if you want, i have been logging daily and for the first time i have been active in the forums and thats helped a lot! good luck!

_Figgzie_

My Brother!

Here is the good news! You've done it before and you have the blueprint that worked for you to get to your goal!!!! 90% of the people on MFP *WISH* they had their own personal blueprint! You seem like a good dude with a beautiful wife...............if you have a strong enough "why" you'll find a "how"..........I have lost and gained the same 20 pounds for a while now but I started at almost 310 lbs and I am at 225 llbs so I've managed to maintain most of the weight loss...........it is a daily struggle...........day by day, meal by meal.........I have implemented some things at the beginning of my weight loss that I still do and it keeps me in check and allows for some freedom..............hit me up, you can do this!