Could use some support/advice (warning: long post)

LataLizzy

I have been over this again and again for years now.

Full disclosure: I had an eating disorder when I was 13 that lasted off and on into college. It's hard to believe that I used to be 90 pounds (I have been 5'8" since I was 13). I used to be 65 pounds lighter. Wow. I will not do that to my body again.

At the beginning of 2013, I started losing weight with some of my college friends. I started at 145 lbs and dropped down to 135 lbs. I was mostly happy. Originally, I wanted to reach 125 lbs, but looking back, I think 135 was healthy for me. I was strong and capable, and I felt good. I was working at a gym at the time, and that made it really easy for me to workout every day.

Throughout the rest of college and into my professional life, my weight crept up to 165 lbs. I could make excuses: my (mostly) desk job; the long hours at my job; my mostly sedentary boyfriend (who never gained weight no matter what!); etc., etc. First 145 was my "normal". Then 155. Then 165. I kept telling myself, "This is just where my body is comfortable." But I don't want that to be the case. That is not a good enough reason for my body to look pudgy and gross.

I thought training for a marathon would end this cycle once and for all. It didn't. Then I thought training for a 50-mile race would. It didn't. I have made the changes before. Half my plate is fruit/veggies, a quarter lean protein, a quarter complex carbs; 30 minutes to an hour of activity a day; burn more calories than I consume; no more than four alcoholic drinks a week; on and on and on.

And I have lost weight making these small, sustainable changes. However, every time I lose weight, I fall off track later then gain it all back. I am sick and tired of seeing jeans in my closet that I haven't been able to fit into in 5 years. I am tired of being ashamed of my gut and my huge thighs. I want to be strong and capable, but also want to feel attractive and achieve my goals. So please, those of you who have been through this battle then kept the weight off, tell me: How do you lose it and keep it off? How do you keep yourself responsible and accountable after you achieve your weight goals? How do you keep yourself excited about the momentum of losing weight without actually losing momentum?

88olds

Tracking. They call it a food diary on MFP. Calculate a modest calorie deficit, track no matter what, good bad and ugly, and give the process time to work. You’ve got time because this will be the last time you do this. Aim for no more than a pound per week. There’s a fairly long calorie counting learning curve. Give yourself time to learn the process. You are always working at two things. You want the scale to go down and you want to be able to live your life. If your losses stall, make moderate adjustments.

Weight loss is a process, a skill set. When you make mistakes, learn. Make a better plan next time. Plan, track and problem solve.

I made my goal weight, down 100lbs, and kept tracking for 5 more years before I could maintain without it. A couple of times the scale has started moving up, I’ve gone back to tracking. It has worked every time I’ve tried it. I’ve been at goal 11+years. This is doable. Concentrate on tracking. Don’t let the voice in your head jerk you around. Trust the process.

Oh, I didn’t and don’t stay excited about WL. I try to be the opposite of excited. It’s just a bunch of habits. A lot of little things strung together.