Please Help! I am not having a healthy relationship with food. How to stop

TeachergirlCeleste

Hello everyone. I post here frequently about my struggles with food. So far I have lost 34 pounds and hoping to be down by 36 pounds at the start of next week. However, I am a teacher and we are out this week for spring break. Being that I am out for a week, it is hard for me to stay on track with eating the right amount of calories. I feel so guilty when I have a meal I do not suppose to have. For instance, tonight I decided to cook tacos and have just two because I have been craving for something crunchy. I am so scared to eat this meal. For lunch, I ate a footlong sub. I then feel that I am on spring break so I should chill and pick back up next week. Just maintain exercising and eating within calorie range.

I guess I am afraid of what food can do to the body. I am still over 300 pounds(306) I started at 340.

psychod787

TeachergirlCeleste wrote: »

Hello everyone. I post here frequently about my struggles with food. So far I have lost 34 pounds and hoping to be down by 36 pounds at the start of next week. However, I am a teacher and we are out this week for spring break. Being that I am out for a week, it is hard for me to stay on track with eating the right amount of calories. I feel so guilty when I have a meal I do not suppose to have. For instance, tonight I decided to cook tacos and have just two because I have been craving for something crunchy. I am so scared to eat this meal. For lunch, I ate a footlong sub. I then feel that I am on spring break so I should chill and pick back up next week. Just maintain exercising and eating within calorie range.

I guess I am afraid of what food can do to the body. I am still over 300 pounds(306) I started at 340.

I went through the phase of what you have been through. You just have to make a decision, what so you want? I follow a flexible dietary lifestyle. You can have something "crunchy" and the foot long. You just need to prioritize what else you eat as far as your overall calorie/macro goal. I lost a lot of weight being super restrictive. I could have lost the weight being flexible. It is in the end CICO. if you are looking for a "magic" diet, they just do not exist. Food is not the enemy. We are. Track your calories and make trade offs. Want a poptart? Well have it. Just have something less calorie dense later.

diannethegeek

From another post I believe you mentioned you're eating about 600 calories a day, correct? The low calories plus a fear to eat plus guilt both before and after eating sounds like a very hard way to live. Have you looked into a little professional help yet? There are options both in person and online that are likely to have better expertise than any of us can offer you.

https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources

bbell1985

I'm a teacher as well. I also have a poor relationship with food and am worried about a trip I'll be taking during break too. But, when I have a break at home to myself I will say...I don't have much trouble. I try to stay busy to take my mind off food and keep the same eating schedule I have at school (I don't eat until 11).

You've lost 30 something pounds. What if you took a break next week and ate at maintenance. Log everything, stay active, enjoy food. Think of it as a challenge rather than a failure. You will need to learn how to be in maintenance at some point.

diannethegeek

I want to come back to this because I didn't have much time earlier and I realize it might look like I'm brushing you off by suggesting outside help.

The first red flag I had when I started to develop something like orthorexia was when I broke into tears eating out with my family because the restaurant was out of quinoa burgers, which I had prelogged, and I felt like I had to order a portobello burger instead. I hate portobello burgers and I still regret that meal because we were eating at a fancy, renowned burger place but I felt constrained by "being good." As soon as the waiter left with our orders I started sobbing there at the table in front of everyone and I wouldn't let anyone else fix it.

At the time I thought that was normal.

I say "something like orthorexia" because I was never diagnosed. I had a therapist already for my depression and she was the one who caught it and helped me stay out of a full-fledged eating disorder. I don't doubt that it would have spiraled further without her. There were probably lots of red flags before that one, but I thought they were all totally normal. I told everyone I was fine, and I truly thought I was, but I was gripping the diet too tight.

My therapist told me that she had counseled people with celiac disease and full-blown gluten problems who were less stressed out about eating at restaurants than I was at the time.

At the time, my therapist wanted me to quit the diet entirely, but instead we came to some compromises and I worked hard on loosening my logging fears, reducing my rate of loss to allow more treats, and embracing the no good or bad foods mantra. Those things worked for my issues. But you're a different person than me and I don't know what might work for you or what might make it worse. I do think it sounds like you have some red flags of your own and I'm sorry you do because it's really hard to live like that. It sounds like you're having a very hard time of it. You deserve to feel better and have a stronger relationship with food, but I don't have the expertise to get you there. I hope that you find a way, though. I truly do.

amgreenwell

My only suggestion is to pre log everything you are going to eat for the day in the morning. That way you know what you can have and if you want to splurge a little then you'll know how many calories you'll need to burn in order to keep yourself at a deficit. There is always going to be some excuse as to why you went off the wagon, don't let spring break be one for you. B/c summer break is coming up and that's a lot more excuses too.
You got this!

quiksylver296

I think everyone has a harder time when they are off work. I know I do.

Eating at your maintenance calories for the week is a good idea.