Feeling defeated

s_moore25

I have put on a lot of weight with my pregnancy, and now that my son is nearly a year old I actually weigh MORE than I did full term with him. I go back to work soon and I am nervous that people will notice how much bigger I am. I have tried to lose it already, but have just seemed to fall back into bad habits of fast food and non-activity. I know I eat when I am stressed out too, but I don't really know how to stop leaning on food as a comfort. I KNOW what I need to do, I just have trouble actually DOING it. Advice? I just feel like a total failure.

amgreenwell

If you know what to do, then you need to do it. Being Mom is super hard and having to take care of yourself is often put on the backburner. Just know that you've got to do this for yourself and your health, but that you want to do it for your family too. Don't you want to show your child good eating habits? Good exercise habits? And a family that is active together?
Going back to work might make it easier b/c you can meal prep before the week and know exactly what you'll eat every day as opposed to going out or walking over to the pantry to snack.
You got this, just plan ahead, LOG everything that goes in your mouth and get active! Even if it's just taking the baby on walks in the neighborhood.

tinkerbellang83

If you're eating more due to stress, you need to find another outlet other than food, something to help you unwind. Try to avoid keeping foods that you have a habit of bingeing on at home.

As for the rest, start small, take a couple of weeks getting into the habit of logging at maintenance and getting a bit more activity into your day, then set yourself a sustainable rate of loss and get into the habit of meeting your calorie goal for weight loss.

You don't have to overcomplicate it, eat a little less, move a little more and over time the weight will come off without the need for miserable diet plans.

Check out the success story threads for people who have reached goals similar to your own, add people who are on their way to that sort of goal or are already maintaining to inspire you.

conniemaxwell5

The fact is, most likely people will notice. They may or may not tell you they notice, but they will notice. Try to understand that you have no control over what they notice or think about you and stop stressing about it. Put that energy into creating new habits that will get you on the path to a healthier you. Find your WHY and then just do it.

sksk1026

Accept it will take time to get the weight off. Yes, people will notice but most of them are too polite, thank heavens, to say anything! Start with small steps by logging everything you eat for a while. Then you can look at maybe making breakfast a within-calorie meal. Or if you like fast food look for tips on the forum for fast food that is within calorie limits - all of the fast food chains have offerings that make up a calorie controlled meal e.g. McD cheeseburger or egg mcmuffin. Small changes will eventually get you there. And you're too hard on yourself. You had a baby and a really busy year - of course your life has been disrupted and former better-eating habits have been disrupted. No point in beating yourself up - try think of it as needing some new habits that you incorporate gradually! If a friend came to you and asked for advice about this problem i doubt you'd yell at her like a marine sergeant - treat yourself with the same kindness. Read the success forums for tips. There are so many small ways to lose weight. You can do this!

88olds

Control the process starting now.

What if this, what if you don’t really know what to do? There’s nothing wrong with not knowing. Nobody knows until they do. Folks who say they know what to do usually mean they want to force themselves to exercise or impose a food austerity program.

Try this. Start a MFP food diary. Computer too cumbersome? Use pen and paper. Just start listing what you eat. When you’re ready, start filling in the calories. Forget? Go back and do the best you can to catch up. No idea how many calories in something? Make a good faith estimate.

But do this- no matter what, good, bad or ugly, everything gets recorded. Never abandon your food diary. Especially on days that don’t go so well.

When you’re ready calculat a modest calorie deficit and aim for that. Use a food scale, study NI for restaurants, use the MFP database. You will soon find that to hit your number you need some kind of plan. If your plan doesn’t work out, make a better plan. Try to find a downward trend you can live with. Weight loss is about living with some reasonable limits. A plan you can’t live with is not a good plan.

Give yourself a break. You can’t transform yourself overnight. There’s a fairly long calorie counting learning curve. Weight loss takes sustained effort. But the changes need not be radical if you are patient. You cannot transform yourself today, but you can start work on this right now. It’s an opportunity.

rsclause

I had to just give up fast food completely. If I must eat out it is only grilled chicken or a small sandwich. It is mostly the fries, chips and sweet drinks that put the weight on fast. I pack my lunch to limit temptation and only have water with it. When I was really hard core it was not uncommon for me to order two chicken sandwiches and not eat the bread. Don't diet, count calories to stay in deficit. After all the hard work I was putting in I got to a point that I couldn't be tempted by any "fattening" junk foods. It also helps to keep a water bottle (Hydro-flask) at hand to top off your stomach. Snacks also help me get by, an apple or handful of almonds help take my mind off a need to eat the bad stuff.

Carry_That_Weight

You know what helps relieve stress? Taking proper care of yourself. That doesn't make you selfish or less devoted to your other obligations (read: being a mom), it makes you better able to meet them and to be your best self for all the people in your life for a much longer period of time. When you feel better mentally for YOU, everyone else around you benefits as well.

Now, how to actually have the time to do it? Build some daily activity into spending time with your son. When you go back to work make sure to get up every hour and walk around for a few minutes. Take the stairs, walk to run errands if they're close, etc. Small changes. No need to jump headlong into some big fitness regime (unless you really want to) - you can always incorporate more later as these changes feel natural.

As far as your food, I've kinda found a groove with my staple foods - they're cheap, nutritious, and very importantly fast to prep (I can make breakfast, lunch, and dinner to take with me for a day in under 15 minutes). Obviously you might like to eat different things, but here are my staples and what I use them for - maybe it will give you some ideas to incorporate.

Best of luck! Don't look at it as losing weight, because you don't NEED to do that to be a success, and you're not a failure because of your weight. Try to focus on being healthy for your family and teaching your kid(s) good habits, and feeling good about yourself!

• Frozen Veg: Usually spinach, mixed veg, peas, etc. These are easy to microwave and use as a bed for guacamole, eggs, meats, and whatever else. They don't go bad, they're cheap, and often more nutritious than their fresh counterparts since they're frozen at peak freshness.
• Sprouts or pea shoots: I get these fresh to add some crunch and goodness to salads or above frozen veg bowls, etc.
• Eggs: Super great. Fry them, stick them on top of anything, and you've got a lot of healthy fats and protein.
• Coconut oil: I like this for cooking things - pretty cheap if you order online in large containers, and I'm lactose intolerant so I don't use much butter and the like.
• Fruits (easy on the go - bananas, apples, oranges, etc)
• Guacamole: Use it to top everything. I get tubs of it. By the time you make fresh yourself, it costs just as much.
• Salad Greens: The pre-mixed, pre-washed versions.
• Sweet potatoes: Wash them, stick them with a fork several times, and then microwave for 3-5 minutes. Bam. Healthy starch packed with vitamins that you can top with whatever.
• Nuts: Great on-the-go snacks
• Whey Protein: I lift and I'm trying to cut. Hence, I like to have something that packs in the protein with fewer calories. This is also a very cheap protein source. I don't usually do it in smoothies, though - I put it in oats or a chocolate-y nut butter cereal concoction.
• Nut butters: Add to oats, eat with fruit, have a spoonful. You know. I like the natural kind without the sugar and hydrogenated oils.
• Cocoa powder: Unsweetened - add this to protein, nut butters, oats, yogurt, whatever to satisfy a chocolate craving.
• Oats: To me there's nothing better than this in the morning, with whatever toppings. You can also do "overnight oats" sort of things so you just take it out of the fridge in the morning and it's ready.
• Ground meats: Cook them up in a pan with a bunch of spices, garlic, ginger, whatever over the weekend, use it to top things all week! Even this "meal prep" step takes <30 minutes on the weekend.
• Popcorn: I have an air popper. I eat this as a snack very often.

So basically I eat vegetables or potatoes topped with rotating proteins and guacamole, chocolate-y protein filled oats, fruits and nuts for snacks. Sometimes I mix it up with rice and beans, or make an ice cream out of frozen fruits and non-dairy milks/nut butters, but most of the time it's very simple and saves a ton of time.

Thehardmakesitworthit

Keep it simple. Literally one choice at a time. And from a 53 year old mama of a 4, 6 and 8 year old.... to you, I say, do this for yourself now, while you are young and can enjoy the fruits of a healthy body and then subsequently a mind at peace and a soul that is not burdened with worry about being a healthy example for your children. All the best, and you CAN do it..... and I would say you MUST do it now.

kkimpel

Love the suggestions above. Get things from the store that are easy to put together for lunch and dinner, but good for you. Face it, if you sit down and eat an entire bowl of vegetables, you are still going to consume less calories than one candy bar

makinemjellis

I eat when stressed, too. But recently I've been trying to use the gym as my stress relief. If you have access to any sort of boxing equipment, it is EXTREMELY cathartic.

Making smaller changes over time has made it easier for me to keep up with everything I need to do, as well. I started with making a habit of the gym, then made a habit of better food choices in general. Now I'm working on counting calories and portion control. Helps it seem less overwhelming.