Missing the whole "flexible" part of "flexible dieting"

laurenbastug

I've been tracking macros for some time. I am fully aware my strive for perfection in hitting my numbers is not sustainable, but I still make it an effort to be on point daily. My problem is that, I've become so comfortable with it all that I feel like I'm missing out on the whole flexibility part.

I really don't have time to cook during the week so I prep my breakfasts, lunch, dinners on Sunday for the work week. I typically buy the same things because I know based on how I'm spreading out the portions, I'll have no wasted food and I will hit all my numbers.

I typically don't mind eating the same foods and I'm eating foods I enjoy while still hitting micros - I guess I have just got accustomed to this rigidity, that the thought of going out to lunch with co workers spontaneous almost makes me nervous.

I know it's silly - but tracking works, I'm seeing progress, so in my mind, if I keep doing what I'm doing, it's a sure fire way to reach my goals.

Any tips or guidance on learning how to not be the most anal retentive tracker on the planet? I appreciate I can kind of eat as I please as long as at the end of the week my numbers even out - but I also am not a fan of not being able to properly fuel a workout because I decided to eat like an *kitten* yesterday. Again, falling back into the idea of following a fool proof plan.

Half venting to help myself realize how silly I am being and half looking for any advice or opinions on this.

stanmann571

Identify a half dozen or more places that your coworkers like to go. Identify safe/appropriate meals/entrees.

Go. Order off your menu(log after if that makes you selfconscious) Enjoy. Don't do it every day.. Don't refrain from doing it out of fear.

laurenbastug

Ah good idea - yeah I have to get over that fear part. I realize it's probably a much bigger/deeper issue but I'm hoping part of healing will be through recognition.

Lounmoun

I don't know if it would help you to be more flexible but the way I do things is I go out to eat one meal each week with my family. I have looked up nutrition information for restaurants and have gotten to know what choices reasonably fit my goals. It is not exactly spontaneous but because of that one meal a week I don't feel anxious about the idea of suddenly eating out if I needed to. I feel like I could alter my plans and still make a decent food choice.

ZoneFive

Perfectionism -- and its brother, fear -- have derailed more of us than chocolate, peanut butter and pizza combined.

Flexible systems are stronger systems. Architects, historians, tennis racquet makers and politicians all understand this. So it behooves me to build flexibility into my own systems. I understand the need to have everything balanced, everything right, everything in order, but it really doesn't work for long. And what we need more than anything else is sustainability.

Stanmann571 has a really good idea. Make room in your week for a meal that isn't a cheat, but a stretch of your current plan.

solieco1

Maybe once every couple of weeks just go. Order what looks simple to track later. Expect a brief up the next day or so. You'll realize after a couple of rounds that it all evens out and you didn't sabotage yourself. Then you'll start to trust yourself a bit more and enjoy your time with friends.

concordancia

My naturally thin husband, who has never tracked, does this as well. Left to this own devices, he has the same breakfast, lunch, dinner and evening snack every day. He gets anxious if you try to change up his breakfast on a work day, and, if he is really stressed, sometimes even on the weekend.

How often do your co-workers go out? Maybe only join them on an occasional Friday, and then follow the menu advice above.

laurenbastug

Lounmoun wrote: »

I don't know if it would help you to be more flexible but the way I do things is I go out to eat one meal each week with my family. I have looked up nutrition information for restaurants and have gotten to know what choices reasonably fit my goals. It is not exactly spontaneous but because of that one meal a week I don't feel anxious about the idea of suddenly eating out if I needed to. I feel like I could alter my plans and still make a decent food choice.

Yes, I mean weekends I don't typically prep meals so they're more on the fly. So at the end of the day, I know I CAN do it, it just is more of struggle and because we don't really go to many chain restaurants so my tracking is even more of a guesstimatation.

I guess I just find myself getting anxious about the weekend since I'm leaving ease of my work week planned meals.

I'll get there though Thanks for your input!

laurenbastug

ZoneFive wrote: »

Perfectionism -- and its brother, fear -- have derailed more of us than chocolate, peanut butter and pizza combined.

Flexible systems are stronger systems. Architects, historians, tennis racquet makers and politicians all understand this. So it behooves me to build flexibility into my own systems. I understand the need to have everything balanced, everything right, everything in order, but it really doesn't work for long. And what we need more than anything else is sustainability.

Stanmann571 has a really good idea. Make room in your week for a meal that isn't a cheat, but a stretch of your current plan.

Haha that first statement is great - and yes, definitely agree with your points and the emphasis on the sustainability. I will make more of an effort to allow for flexibility

laurenbastug

solieco1 wrote: »

Maybe once every couple of weeks just go. Order what looks simple to track later. Expect a brief up the next day or so. You'll realize after a couple of rounds that it all evens out and you didn't sabotage yourself. Then you'll start to trust yourself a bit more and enjoy your time with friends.

For sure - I definitely want to be able to find more of a balance and get out of this black/white mentality.

laurenbastug

concordancia wrote: »

My naturally thin husband, who has never tracked, does this as well. Left to this own devices, he has the same breakfast, lunch, dinner and evening snack every day. He gets anxious if you try to change up his breakfast on a work day, and, if he is really stressed, sometimes even on the weekend.

How often do your co-workers go out? Maybe only join them on an occasional Friday, and then follow the menu advice above.

Yeah, I think some of us are just wired to be very habit driven and change is not always welcome. They don't go out often per se, and it was more just like an example. Like, I'd love to have taco tuesday with my fiance but I feel like "no I already have my pre-logged rice, veggies and meat that I want to have so I can stay on track/target and I don't want to waste the food" - it's a habit like anything else that I think I just need to work a little harder at trying to change.

MegaMooseEsq

If you can get past the perfectionism/stress part, I actually think that those of us with more rigid eating habits can be better off when it comes to the occasional guesstimated meal. I eat almost exactly the same things for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and maybe 3/7 dinners a week. I felt weirdly bad about it for a while, but I realized that's silly - I'm perfectly happy with what I eat, I change things up when I want to (but not just for the sake of change), I'm hitting my nutritional markers pretty well, and it really does make logging easier. Also, I'd eat this way even if I wasn't losing weight!

I figure that if 80% of your logging is really on point, then having one meal a week that's estimated is much less likely to throw you off than if you're estimating 80% of your logging, right? I think if you schedule in that Taco Tuesday or whatever, you'll find over time that the accuracy of your logging won't take a hit. My husband cooks dinner four nights a week and I always estimate calories for those meals rather than ask him to measure my portions. Those meals count for roughly 2640 out of my weekly 13749 calories, or a bit under 20%. Your one meal a week is going to be even less than that. I say throw caution to the wind and go for it!

inertiastrength

I'm flexible where I feel it's important. If my BF and I want to spontaneously go for dinner I have no problem but when I get an email from a co-worker asking if I want in on a pizza I'm pretty okay with saying nah. It's not that I'm inflexible it's that it's not worth it for me. Maybe it isn't for you either. Nothing wrong with having a routine during the week that you don't want to make substitutions for.

inertiastrength

Also I add in some ice cream and cookies after dinner usually so if I have to be "flexible" at work I have to skip my treat at night. Again, it's usually not worth it as I like to have something sweet before bed and I usually come to work with a lunch already prepared.

laurenbastug

MegaMooseEsq wrote: »

If you can get past the perfectionism/stress part, I actually think that those of us with more rigid eating habits can be better off when it comes to the occasional guesstimated meal. I eat almost exactly the same things for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and maybe 3/7 dinners a week. I felt weirdly bad about it for a while, but I realized that's silly - I'm perfectly happy with what I eat, I change things up when I want to (but not just for the sake of change), I'm hitting my nutritional markers pretty well, and it really does make logging easier. Also, I'd eat this way even if I wasn't losing weight!

I figure that if 80% of your logging is really on point, then having one meal a week that's estimated is much less likely to throw you off than if you're estimating 80% of your logging, right? I think if you schedule in that Taco Tuesday or whatever, you'll find over time that the accuracy of your logging won't take a hit. My husband cooks dinner four nights a week and I always estimate calories for those meals rather than ask him to measure my portions. Those meals count for roughly 2640 out of my weekly 13749 calories, or a bit under 20%. Your one meal a week is going to be even less than that. I say throw caution to the wind and go for it!

Haha thank you so much for your help/input on this

laurenbastug

mrsnattybulking wrote: »

Also I add in some ice cream and cookies after dinner usually so if I have to be "flexible" at work I have to skip my treat at night. Again, it's usually not worth it as I like to have something sweet before bed and I usually come to work with a lunch already prepared.

Good point - yeah, I usually like to schedule in something sweet before bed too!

Lounmoun

I feel like I had to accept that one meal a week that wasn't precisely logged would be fine and just go in with some common sense and applying my calorie counting knowledge. I know I can't get a bacon triple cheeseburger, large fry the size of a cat and a giant peanut butter shake. There are a lot of choices that fit my 400-500 calorie goal though. I can eat a lighter breakfast or dinner if I want to have a big lunch or add some extra activity or have a maintenance calorie day.
Even eating at non-chain restaurants I think I can do okay.
I'm a meal planner and eat limited things most meals really. I don't feel confined to a handful of foods though to the point that it makes me anxious.
I'd say practice once a week making a choice from a restaurant to reduce your anxiety over it. When you see that it will be okay you can decide if it is worth it to do more often than that.

laurenbastug

Lounmoun wrote: »

I feel like I had to accept that one meal a week that wasn't precisely logged would be fine and just go in with some common sense and applying my calorie counting knowledge. I know I can't get a bacon triple cheeseburger, large fry the size of a cat and a giant peanut butter shake. There are a lot of choices that fit my 400-500 calorie goal though. I can eat a lighter breakfast or dinner if I want to have a big lunch or add some extra activity or have a maintenance calorie day.
Even eating at non-chain restaurants I think I can do okay.
I'm a meal planner and eat limited things most meals really. I don't feel confined to a handful of foods though to the point that it makes me anxious.
I'd say practice once a week making a choice from a restaurant to reduce your anxiety over it. When you see that it will be okay you can decide if it is worth it to do more often than that.

Yes, definitely will give that a try

Thank you!

Cbean08

Find a place that has something very similar to what you would cook at home and bring. Start with ordering things like that so then you are at least familiar with the type of food. It'll help you get used to someone else preparing your food. And then slowly branch out to different things until the anxiety subsides. I'm a pretty stubborn and rigid eater, but I've been able to get better with that by making small changes and proving to myself that nothing bad will happen if I do something outside of my comfort zone.

AnnPT77

One thing to consider: Evolution designed humans to do pretty well with something way off in the distance well beyond flexibility, something pretty darned close to chaos. Maybe trust that a little?

Early humans' workout was running from predators, or after scarce prey: High stakes stuff. Does your workout suffer from suboptimal fueling, or is it that you expect it to?



Just kidding . . . kinda.

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laurenbastug

Cbean08 wrote: »

Find a place that has something very similar to what you would cook at home and bring. Start with ordering things like that so then you are at least familiar with the type of food. It'll help you get used to someone else preparing your food. And then slowly branch out to different things until the anxiety subsides. I'm a pretty stubborn and rigid eater, but I've been able to get better with that by making small changes and proving to myself that nothing bad will happen if I do something outside of my comfort zone.

Yes - I think it's just getting out of my comfort zone and leaving the pursuit of perfection.

Thanks!

stanmann571

It's tired and cliche'd, but no less true.

The Perfect is the enemy of the good.

laurenbastug

stanmann571 wrote: »

It's tired and cliche'd, but no less true.

The Perfect is the enemy of the good.

Ayyyyymen to that