My husband's negative attitude

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  • amluckhurst
    amluckhurst Posts: 40 Member
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    Support your own happiness levels firstly. Accept that you are trying your best and ditch the guilt when you don't get to the gym. Family is important too. This should like a weight off your mind.
    Try to find a way of thanking your partner for his input whilst voicing your need to do this your way. I suspect he sees your unhappiness about weight loss results and is trying to step in.
    If you have carried extra body fat for some time, then all those fat cells will have their own blood supply etc. It will take time to reduce the fat in those cells, and for the cells to die off. Take your time to review your routine, talk openly about your struggles and expectations with a proper instructor/nutritionalist. Be aware that us ladies have to fight the hormonal fluctuations too which can make it harder to restructure the body. Not impossible though! So keep your faith honey you will inevitably succeed if you stick with it.
    Best of luck.
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
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    Difference between helping and taking control. The later not such o good idea but is this what you want? Are you trying to appease him?
    Does he not work to have so much time to manage you too?
    You never really mentioned logging and tracking your intake.
    Are YOU not mentally ready to do all that it takes but HE is?
  • jasminebutler56
    jasminebutler56 Posts: 15 Member
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    tamera_g wrote: »
    have to apologize in advance for complaining. If I talk to anyone in my life about this, it might hurt someone's feelings. So I am asking advice from you out there.
    -I have been working out at a gym for over a year. I have gained some muscle but not lost any body fat. I'm consistent in working out but not watching what I eat.
    -I have not been to the gym in two weeks because I as well as my kids, have been sick.
    -I have never been a small girl. In high school I was a size 10-12 (US size ). Now I am 38 years old and am a size 14-16.
    -He wants to take over my weight loss efforts; talk to my trainer, get a pre-diabetes test, know my body fat percentage, and buy all the food.

    My question is: should I let him do this? If I refuse, what do I say? Am I being too sensitive? How can I talk to him calmly in a rational discussion?

    When you say take over you weight loss efforts do you mean dominate how you lose weight totally? Or is he trying to collaborate with you in a loving healthy manner?

    If he is trying to dominate you I would kindly resist his behavior. If he is being caring and helpful allow him to help you out. Based off the information you stated above about him talking to your trainer and getting medical assessments and buying all the food he seems domineering and insensitive. If this is the case no you’re not being too sensitive. I wouldn’t not speak to him, but trying writing him a letter or email about how his efforts make you feel. Then talk to him about it afterwards. This approach is less confrontational and opens up the door for discussion. Hope this helps! It worked for me when I crashed my moms car in high school
  • ultra_violets
    ultra_violets Posts: 202 Member
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    Don't do it. This sounds like a recipe for disaster. You're a grown woman. Why does he need to talk to your trainer? Does he think he knows better than a trained professional? On the other hand, I think it would be wonderful if this was something you could do together. Let him do it with you, not TO you.
  • apullum
    apullum Posts: 4,838 Member
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    If you think that he is really trying to help, then you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. You can tell him that you know he means well, but his approach isn't going to work for you. Suggest other ways that he can help instead. If he truly does mean well, then he should want to offer support that's actually helpful to you.

    Your post makes it sound as though you feel that he's trying to be controlling rather than helpful, though. Does he have a history of controlling behavior? Do you often feel that he's trying to take over your personal choices? If so, then I think this is more than just a disagreement over how to lose weight, and I'd recommend doing some hard thinking about your relationship and whether or not you're happy in it.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    tamera_g wrote: »
    BZAH10 At the gym I go to, there is a scale that tells you body fat and muscle mass. I just haven't gone in a few weeks because of sickness.

    those things are highly inaccurate.

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