Family & Friends Opinions on How You Look

frankiesgirlie

I just got off the phone with a girlfriend that has started Jenny Craig, and yes, I tried to get her to log on MFP instead but she feels it’s too tedious.
She was complaining that her husband keeps bringing up that he doesn’t want her to get too skinny. To the point that it’s getting on her nerves. In all fairness, she did get super thin once, without realizing it, because she got so caught up with the lose,lose,lose and didn’t know when to stop.
But it got me thinking, does your significant other, family member or friend have ALOT of opinions of how you should look and/or what you should be or shouldn’t be doing?
My husband doesn’t obsess over it, but if he comes in the room when I’m doing an ab workout he either shakes his head or gets a worried look.
Why? Because he doesn’t like the look of a 6 pack on a woman. It cracks me up because nobody in my family has ever come anywhere close to even a 3 pack, it’s just not in our make up. I’d have to become super skinny every where else to ever have that little fat on my stomach. So it’s not even a thought.
So I pay no mind and continue my workout.
Do any of you get this? Do you pay any attention?

Lounmoun

My husband was mainly concerned that I was going to lose in a healthy way and that my goal was healthy. He has never expressed any worries that I would look too skinny or muscular to be attractive to him.
No one else has commented/cared/been concerned about my weight loss or appearance.

jennygutt

My mother is telling me i need to stop too
Om 5'7 and just hit 160. I jisy now got my bmi to 25 lol..im like mom i just now got in the top of my healthy range. My husband is starting in on it too.

Cbean08

My family watches out because I have a history with an eating disorder. And to be fair, I've lost a bit recently and am at the very low end of healthy bmi. My boyfriend would like a bit more booty back but he loves me still.

LuckyAndi

So far, my fiance has been supportive. He loves my body and curves, but he knows I need to be healthy and I'm far from it right now. I suspect things will be at least a little different or he might show more concern when I get to my goal weight. It will be a drastic, but positive, change for both of us.

HilTri

My mom says I look gaunt, I am soooo not gaunt at 136 5'6". She says I look unhealthy and appears that I have more wrinkles. I think it is just a generational thing and she doesn't grasp being fit. She also wonders why I want my muscles to show. Her comments don't bother me. I think it is funny. I LOVE my muscles and have. Worked hard for them.

JaydedMiss

my family thinks im to skinny but they are all huge xD

side story. I was seeing a guy around 50 pounds ago who ended up saying im getting to thin and im losing my curves etc etc and he got mad. We went our seperate ways and guess whose drooling over me now. I know what im doing i knew i had ways to improve and lots to lose and i knew i had control over still maintaining tone and curves just becoming a tighter smaller version.

So ya iv had people say im to thin aand then admitt they were wrong

jwilk241

My family is super supportive of me being healthy and losing weight. My mom is small and a medical professional so I think that helps. My dad is overweight and not in denial so my losing weight doesn't threaten him lol. My husband is super healthy and active so he's insanely proud.

Now my husband's family and some of our friends are a different story. They don't say anything about me but they are forever making comments about my husband's weight. Over the past few years he's lost weight and is actually at healthy weight of 150lbs (he's 5'7"). But everyone keeps saying he's "too skinny" or if he gains a few pounds they say stuff like "good, you needed to gain some weight". It really pisses me off because 1. you don't say things like that to people unless there might be an actual medical concern and 2. he's not skinny. He is the perfect weight for someone his age and height. I think they say it because his brother is overweight so if he's too skinny, they can stay in denial about his brother. Also, as a society I think our view of what is a normal or healthy weight has become severly skewed due to the majority of the population being overweight. Anywaysssss, end rant LOL

frankiesgirlie

Thank you all for the responses so far. I really appreciate it. I find human behavior fascinating.

TavistockToad

My husband expressed concern when I was at my lowest weight because he thought I was starting to look scrawny and my boobs had done a runner!

That weight wasn't sustainable but it was a weight I was happy with so who knows if I can make it sustainable again.

ISweat4This

I get the don't get bigger comments all the time but, I love lifting and muscles are sexy. I hear it so much it doesn't bother me, I kinda expect it now.

seltzermint555

I'm still a larger woman with curves and size 10/12, so I don't get people worrying over me, lol. However, I came from being 300+ so there was a period of time when friends & family were a little worried and I got comments mostly on how tiny my hands and arms were looking (always small so they just looked smaller) and how "gaunt" my face looked. I think they just weren't used to the changes. It stopped after about a year of being in my maintenance range...I think they all got used to the "average-sized me" and realized I wasn't going to get crazy skinny or anything like that.

frankiesgirlie

In 38 years of marriage there was only one time that my husband told me I was too heavy. It was after I had lost weight, and he said, you were too heavy before, I hope you don’t get that size again. He said he’d love me at any size, but he saw the difference in my personality when I was my heaviest. I was miserable. He’s only told me once I was too thin. At 5’ 9” I consider my ideal weight to be 140-145. When I got down to 135 once, he told me I looked bony. Ultimately, I like myself weighing in the 140s, even though I’m now in the 150s.
When I hit the 140s again, I’m going to be forever diligent about maintaining it. I’m not going down this road again.

spiriteagle99

My husband thinks I'm too thin. He's probably right, since my upper body is very bony. (My legs, not so much.) I am at the lowest weight I've had since high school, 40+ years ago. I didn't intend to get this low but had a problem finding a balance after I lost weight and ended up losing 10 pounds more than intended. I have been maintaining for the past year and know I would be fine if I gained a few pounds, but am also afraid of not being able to stop. I've yoyoed too many times to be happy gaining deliberately. I know DH will love me regardless, but there are times I feel very self-conscious about the lack of bust and bootie.

darrenbeckworth

I am losing weight; eating well and working out when possible. She does the same in her own way. We are on a journey together and I have another 70 years with her, so there is no rush.

Plus I truly believe she could kick my butt if she wanted, so I shouldn't say anything rude

LaidaPwn

My hubby is really supportive. He encourages all my endeavors and even eats the same food as me. He doesn't eat junk around me and gave up pop.
But since I had our baby in October he has initiated multiple conversations about me going to the gym. Secretly I know he is attracted to fit girls so dispite his best efforts I know he has an alterior motive lol.
At least he doesn't complain about my dedication lol

Margee1965

My family and friends r so happy for me my daughters so pleased I have come so far got few friends that say you dnt Ned too loss more weight you going too far but I know what I want I will hit my target one day

CarvedTones

My wife is not very supportive but it's partly because she is sold on some woo about clean eating and talks a good game on losing weight but has stayed overweight a long time. When I was first losing this time, she said I was losing too fast (true) and would just gain it back like the last time I had lost a lot of weight. When I slowed down the loss and started eating fairly normal meals with good portion control and still kept losing she didn't say much. Now that I am down in the healthy BMI range and maintaining, she is about the only person in the family who has not commented about it. We have other issues, so this is not entirely unexpected.

frankiesgirlie

Thank you to everyone that has commented so far. Very interesting reading.

seltzermint555

My husband is the best supporter in living a healthy life, that's kind of his whole focus anyway (before we met and currently)...I am very lucky to have someone who cooks delicious healthy food and is ALWAYS game for a walk, hike, bike ride, etc. He's also lost a lot of weight in the past and continues to struggle a bit with things like portion control. He doesn't use MFP anymore and I kind of miss the days when he did and I could just copy his meals over to my diary and make adjustments. But that's fine...he's focused more on strength & athletic pursuits than weight right now.

As for my looks though, he insists that he really doesn't have a preference from when we met to now (I'm down 100 lb) - he says he's glad for health markers that I'm at a better place, but he is mainly interested body wise in curves and I still have big hips/rear and chest hasn't changed much, he says he's happy I'm happy but he doesn't care either way aesthetically...I find that odd and frustrating, but I know I was very happy when we met that he was attracted to me and he seems more attracted six years later, so part of me thinks he's just being "nice"!? I will say, when he met me, I'd lost my first 30-40 lb already and that was the weight that I REALLY think made the biggest difference because I looked and felt my worst before losing that.

We really don't talk about it. Every once in awhile, he will get annoyed and roll his eyes when I eat 1/2 or 1/4 of a portion of something though. He is impressed that I've been maintaining in my goal range for years now but he's also kind of like "really?! That piece of chocolate isn't going to ruin you".