Struggling to accept myself

amanda_deanda01
amanda_deanda01 Posts: 43 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Okay, so I've lost 30 lbs I'm 5'1 and I'm at about 122. I think I look okay, definitely better than what I used to look like. I stopped tracking macros and I'm eating intuitively and I've managed to maintain my weight pretty well....I like everything I'm doing eating wise/exercise wise and I don't want to change anything! However, I'm still struggling to accept my body for what it is. I'm not super lean, I still have noticeable fat, and I'm not super curvy to where that fat looks good. But I don't want to give up the life I'm living to get super lean and I don't even know if that will make me happy even if I do....I'm 20 years old and growing up I was always chubby and my family called me Gordita (chubby in Spanish) and I just feel like I'm always going to be the chubby girl, I avoid looking in mirrors in public and I'm nervous that guys won't want me, especially since I'm in college and a good majority of the girls here are just tall and skinny without even trying :/ I know not to compare myself to others and that the right guy will love me for me but it's just hard to love myself right now and I need Some tips from others who also struggle with this! Like I said I don't want to lose weight because I'm happy with the lifestyle I'm living, I just want to be happy with my body j09wpcev24b1.jpg
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Replies

  • BeccaLoves2lift
    BeccaLoves2lift Posts: 375 Member
    You're not chubby at all.
  • andreascjonsson
    andreascjonsson Posts: 433 Member
    I really think you are at a great level of fitness and really dont need to lose anymore weight at all. Seems more like an image problem coused by people always labeling you. This would probably be fixed better by talking than dieting.
  • LuckyAndi
    LuckyAndi Posts: 203 Member
    You look better than okay! You've worked hard to lose those 30lbs - be proud and embrace your new body. Being happy with the routine and sustaining it is a huge accomplishment in itself.
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    Getting used to a new body is not always easy. People treat you differently. You need time to get used to it all. You look great in your photo. Don't let your mind ruin what should be fun for you. If these thoughts continue, consider talking to an expert. Be vigilant so you don't regain. Enjoy this time in your life.
  • su05
    su05 Posts: 2 Member
    Woah! You have nothing to worry about! People who judge you may never see the hardwork you've put into yourself! Remind yourself how far you've come.. despite of all the cravings/ teasings! People will always find a way to say what they want to and girls will still stay skinny without even trying.. but you're a fighter! Look at what you've achieved! I have a friend who struggles with body issues too so I can understand where you're coming from. It's hard but not impossible.. every time you feel sad looking at yourself, just remember.. you've worked hard to get where you are now and you wouldn't do that for something you don't love.. you love yourself..Just have to remind yourself this every now and then, that's all! I really hope youll be able to get through this and see yourself in a more positive light. Sending you Good vibes! (Sorry for getting carried away)
  • ap1972
    ap1972 Posts: 214 Member
    Danp wrote: »
    As a guy, and trying to say this in the least creepy way I possibly can. I just want to reassure you that you have nothing to worry about and I'm sure you'll have more than your fair share of attention.

    #notcreeping

    What he said ^^^^
  • mazcor536
    mazcor536 Posts: 115 Member
    You look amazing! You can’t see what everyone else can yet. You need to give yourself time for your mental representation of yourself to catch up with the physical. I have the same thing. I’ve lost 50lb, but because I “live” in my body, and I see it every single day, all those little changes that are continously happening get absorbed into the “whole”. I look down at myself and I don’t see an enormous difference. But, I don’t own a full length mirror, and I literally don’t recognise myself when I do occasionally catch my reflection in one. I have to do a double take. Give it some time, hopefully mental representation and physical reality will align soon.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    You look really good Mama, I wouldn't change a thing..

    Personally I don't really go for the super lean look as much as I do for the exact look you have now...

    Most women would kill to look as good as you, and guys kill to have someone that looks like you...

    Just be proud of what you've done and the guy that wants what you have will find you, and there are many, so choose wisely!
  • xelsoo
    xelsoo Posts: 194 Member
    As a mental struggle with your body image, you are right to not want to change your body anymore. You've lost a lot of weight and are looking fab, there's no need! Now you have to concentrate on feeling good about yourself...love and acceptance are the keys! It's a habit you've got to create and everyday consciously remind yourself that you are great, until you believe it.
    Don't let anyone bring you down, especially in college. Remember that everyone is struggling with their own insecurities and those girls that are just tall and lean without even trying probably have their own insecurities and inner struggles.
    Feel free to add me if you want support :)
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    I had a figure like this when I was your age the only difference is that I could see that I looked good. I was confident in the fact that I was slim and fit and healthy. I had no trouble attracting men. Confidence in yourself is very attractive. I would kill to back there now.

    You are at that place right now. You look slim fit and healthy. So stop worrying about what you used to be, accept what you can see in the mirror and what we MFP people are telling you. We know a thing or two about this :) and focus on enjoying the rest of your life. The more time you spend criticizing yourself the less time you have to be out in the world having fun.

    Trust me you rock :)
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    You look fantastic, your head will catch up with your leaner body eventually, it just takes time to sink in.
  • Redordeadhead
    Redordeadhead Posts: 1,188 Member
    Definitely not chubby, you look great!
  • workinonit1956
    workinonit1956 Posts: 1,043 Member
    You look great! As they say: don’t fix something that ain’t broke;)
  • bduanemyfitness
    bduanemyfitness Posts: 75 Member
    The title says it all. I imagine we all struggle (some more than others) to accept ourselves. You probably look in the mirror and still see "Gordita". But you look just great and should be proud of your accomplishments.

    You are not the tall stick figures you see on campus. But I bet many of them struggle to be skinny and some even look in their mirror and see a little chubby girl as well. I'm sort of lucky...I look in the mirror and I see some old man has stolen my mirror...

    As others have suggested, look inward. You are pretty darn amazing (most of us really are).
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    If you love what you are doing keep doing it.

    Getting your head in the right place is another big job.

    Here are some worksheets to help you feel better about your body.

    http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=55

    Until you feel it please believe us that you are beautiful.
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,396 Member
    Has anyone suggested strength training? You look great in that picture but if you're happy with your weight but still think things could be better, then strength training is the answer!!!
  • JoAnna4731
    JoAnna4731 Posts: 115 Member
    You have a gorgeous figure, you have your health, you have your youth. You have lost 30 lbs as a result of your own very hard work. There's a lot there to be happy about and proud of. What you need to work on - your self esteem and moving on from your past. Like others, I highly recommend counseling/therapy. Best of luck to you.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Something I teach all my clients. Whether you believe it or not, NO ONE GIVES A DAMN about how others look. Kids today are so focused on HOW THEY LOOK, that then don't see flaws in others. And the reality is, looks only go so far in life. Personality and character speak so much more about a person than just their physical appearance. Sound cliche, but it's true.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png

    Well put :smile:
  • Amerek412
    Amerek412 Posts: 74 Member
    Girl. I'm 27, 5'2 and 122lb and I -wish- my body held fat as aesthetically pleasing as yours. I give my body a break since I've had a kid so my tummy could never look as flat as yours. But I would actually consider you more on the side of "thin" within the normal range.

    I think you could really benefit from putting effort into gaining some muscle if you want a more "lean" look. As a fellow shorty I get the jealousy over tall girls who, it just seems they don't even need to be that thin to LOOK thin, with their stupid long arms and legs and torsos lol. But I can't imagine anyone looking at the body pictured and thinking it was anywhere near chubby. Do yourself a huge favor and don't compare yourself to an impossible (for you) standard.

    And if you are worried about guys, my boyfriend who is 6'5 (we're an odd couple lol) prefers the short, compact, voluptuous look over the model-like long and thin look in women. I don't think you will have any trouble attracting male attention (not that you should be overly focused on male attention, but you're 20 and in college so it's to be expected lol)
  • jasondjulian
    jasondjulian Posts: 182 Member
    Chubby? Certainly not at that weight and height as you look now! Chubby?! You've got to be *kitten me? No way in any universe.

    Be happy and love yourself, there is nothing wrong with you or how you look.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    It might take a while for your eyes to realize you lost 30#. Did you take Before pictures or measurements?

    Doing something physical regularly might make you more comfortable in your body.

    I hated my big feet when I was in high school, but started appreciating them after doing balancing poses in yoga. (I may just naturally have great balance, but I like being grateful to my feet for this.)

    Since you're in college and presumably have access to therapy, maybe take advantage of that?

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