Becoming a new person

andrea267

Has anyone else had this issue? When I was younger I lost a lot of weight, I think about 50lbs in a span about 6 months. Although I was prepared and supported in the actual weight loss. No one prepared me for what it was like to be a whole new person. With the weight I lost I was getting male attention that I had never had before and I was totally unprepared. I ended up meeting the man I'm now married to and gained back my initial weight plus more. I'm now losing weight again and getting male attention again. How do people on your weight loss journey's deal with this? I feel like a major part of my weight gain is for protection, to keep myself from the attraction of others. Do any of you also feel this way? Or feel like you're not prepared for this part of losing weight?

seltzermint555

Is counseling something you are open to and could access? Because to me it sounds like it may really, really help you!

Although I never felt quite the way you describe, I do find myself sometimes wishing that people would not look at my body and this is a reason that I never post things like before/after shots (for example, on facebook). When people say "OH wow you look thinner" I cringe because even though I am happier now with my body, I don't want that kind of physical focus and attention.

I always dated a lot and have been a serial monogamist since my teens, happily married now, but I feel like I always wanted guys to like me for my kindness, humor, smarts...NOT MY BODY. It was like "sorry about my body" and dressed it in baggy frumpy clothing. I honestly think it took me until my mid 30s (before losing 130 lb) to understand that actually, plenty of guys were into my body even at the largest sizes and "covered up" with extra fat and those baggy clothes.

Counseling can help so much.

kelMee2

I got married at 19 and have always been oblivious to male attention, I think I’m just always in my own bubble and don’t notice. I think it’s just one of those things that it’s nice to be noticed as long as that’s all it is. I made the mistake of being nice to a man at work some years ago and he ended up stalking me which I didn’t notice until it was pointed out so that shows how much attention I pay.

thelifeilove1

Being obese is something I've fought my entire adult life. Now at age 64, I have several times been successful in getting at or near a healthy weight by using different weight loss methods. What I am not good at is maintenance. At the start of my current effort I weighed in last May (2017) at 245. In response to your question I think back to the 1990's when I was in my 30's. That time I had lost down to 135-140, a weight I've only seen a few times in my adult life. I was using an exchange plan, doing cardio several times a week, and running 5K's and am certain I was at the healthiest point in my life. But, I was lonely living in a new area with few friends, my children were both in school, and my husband's job had him out of town often. It was at this time I observed a difference in how male acquaintances treated me. I felt awkward but perhaps liked it as well. But, I was committed to my family and my spouse and it would not have occurred to me to be unfaithful, I just didn't know how to handle the attention. And, I can say I never learned how as I for some unknown reason just quit. Quit monitoring what I put in my mouth, quit the cardio efforts, quit the races and gained it all, plus some, back in lightening speed. I don't have an answer. And, as the pounds slowly come off in this effort (down 40+, with 70+ to go) I'd like to think that I am more together emotionally now than then and can be more comfortable in my "new" skin should I be successful in once again getting there. I do wish you luck in coming to terms with this and encourage you to avoid the desire to wrap yourself back up in layers of fat to hide once more as I perhaps did so many years ago. Oh, and congratulations on your efforts in obtaining the body that is demanding the attention. It should be celebrated, not hidden.