Huh, guess I didn't fall off the wagon with as a resounding thud as feared...

vegaslounge

March was an incredibly difficult month. I hosted a huge dinner party the 3rd, got into a fender bender the 4th, and the 6th would have been my mother's birthday (first birthday we haven't had her). On top of this, I tend to hit a low point in Spring anyway, it's a depression I can practically set my watch to.

So all of this combined to make my brain pack its bags and head to Reno. The stops were not pulled out…those stops were nowhere to be seen. I did TRY and keep logging, but I wasn't honest and would binge harder than I literally ever have in my life, like literally eating-till-I-puke. That on top of already a huge heap o'mental gloom and the dreariest Spring I can remember in my Little Pocket of SE Georgia, yeah, things weren't going so well.

Last week I decided I couldn't keep going on like this and made an emergency appointment with a shrink and went back on Citalopram, which I'd been on before. It's been a week, and I do feel better. Better enough that it was time to face the scale, to see the damage I had done over the last miserable month-and-a-half. I last logged at 162 but the last time I stepped on a scale I was 167, and that was February.

So I stripped off, exhaled and, with fear and trepidation, watched as the red LEDs swirled and flicked before settling...on 170.8.

I'm like, well Hell, that's it?! Damn, that's only 3 lbs, I can work that off by the end of April. I didn't get on a freakin' scale for seven weeks because of that?! Get a grip, woman!

What's interesting is that I thought for certain I'd be back in the 180s because of the sheer volume of food I've been eating at any one sitting. But then I look back at my logs, generalize what I ate over the limit that day, and realize I'll eat 2500 calories one day and like 800 the next...not deliberately starving myself but with that sheer bulk in my stomach there's no way I could think of eating anything else. Plus, with the start of tourism season I'm getting more walking tours in (I'm a guide). I've regularly logged ~50 miles a week since St. Patrick's Day.

So, CICO, man. Even when you're deliberately trying to be "bad", damn thermodynamics get in the way.

~VL