Compromise ideas.

ashliedelgado

A little back story, after watching me use MFP to use 70lbs, last year my husband decided to use it himself. He had great success, losing about 50lbs in 6 months. And then he got sloppy with his logging, and in the winter quit being as active. Stopped losing, and started gaining. He is now convinced that this is not because he relaxed with his logging and lifestyle. No. It's because he is eating more than chicken and vegetables. He truly believes that the only way to lose weight is to eat only chicken breast, steamed vegetables, and brown rice, all with no seasoning or cooking oil.

Initially, I tried to reason with him. If only eating chicken and vegetables worked, why have you gained weight after doing that? Wouldn't you rather learn the skills to not gain weight back when you're done? This is met with accusations of me being negative, and he believes what he believes. I gave in.

We don't have the budget for him to eat only chicken and vegetables and me to make other meals for the rest of the family. And I don't hate myself, so I'm not only going to eat chicken and vegetables, or put my perfectly healthy kids through that everyday. His solution to this was that he would not eat dinner, which is not okay with me. It's very important that we eat one meal together as a family, and with me working days and him working nights, dinner is the only time this is feasible. We also have 3 daughters, two of which are preteens, and I don't want them getting whack any ideas about what it takes to lose weight or be healthy.

The compromises we have come to are: lunches for both of us will be veg and chicken. This is a reasonable lunch, and my lunch is typically a steamer veg and either chicken or turkey already, if not left overs from the night before. This doesn't require me to buy or prepare separate meals. Dinner, I will put extra effort into making sure that our plates are 50% vegetables. I will make sure to portion his plates out to hit his goals (2000 cal, 3 600 cal meals, 1 200 cal snack is how he decided to work it). I will keep my work treats (gasp, fiber one brownies and diet dr. pepper!) at work. He has decided to keep logging, and his end of this bargain is to eat the dinner I put in front of his face, and if he eats something extra to be honest and log it - I'm not going to put the work in to help him if he isn't going to help himself. We will only buy the kids snack stuff he doesn't like to eat, which I already do for myself.

Any other ideas of how to function within a budget and compromise?

kimny72

He could prepare himself some chicken at the same time you are making dinner for the fam, and then eat it with the rest of you and add whatever veggies you made for the meal. That way you don't have to do anything extra?

It sucks when people we care about insist on learning the hard way rather than by our example

andreaen

It sounds like you have come up with a good compromise. I am sure you know this, but also buy in bulk and freeze when the chicken is on sale. Maybe you can even convince him that tuna is basically the same as chicken in terms of nutrition, and a lot cheaper (I think, I am a vegetarian)

andreaen

For vegetables, frozen are often cheaper and are even better in nutrients compared to fresh. Same goes for canned.

tcunbeliever

I don't understand the budget concern - chicken is cheaper than other meats, so if he is eating chicken for dinner, then you would be able to purchase less of the other non-chicken meats, and really should be saving money, not costing more. Rice and vegetables should also be cheap. Though, I totally agree he is not being rational about how to lose weight, it's unlikely he's going to have some kind of major nutrition issue eating chicken, rice, and vegetables.

ashliedelgado

tcunbeliever wrote: »

I don't understand the budget concern - chicken is cheaper than other meats, so if he is eating chicken for dinner, then you would be able to purchase less of the other non-chicken meats, and really should be saving money, not costing more. Rice and vegetables should also be cheap. Though, I totally agree he is not being rational about how to lose weight, it's unlikely he's going to have some kind of major nutrition issue eating chicken, rice, and vegetables.

I realize that his way is cost effective. However, when you factor in meals for 4 other people that don't only want to eat chicken rice and veggies, that's where the budget issue comes into play.

jemhh

You are much more accommodating than me. I would let him not eat dinner but request that he at least sit at the table and take part in the dinner conversation.

I think you have compromised plenty. He has somebody making his food, portioning it out, and agreeing to eat the same lunch he does each day. The only thing he has had to give in on is his whackadoodle demand that everybody eat chicken and veggies every night for supper.

callsitlikeiseeit

i would tell him to make his own stupid food and id eat what i prepared for the family.

but i can be a be itch like that

ashliedelgado

I'm only this accommodating because I don't want my 10 and 12 year old daughters thinking they have to eat stupid or skip meals to be healthy. And the paying for his entirely separate meals on top of feeding myself and the 3 kids in the house. If it were just he and I, I'd let him torture himself.

In reality... this will probably last two weeks so I don't even know why I'm sweating it.

concordancia

I still don't get the budget thing, unless you and the children are spending less per serving than his preferred diet. If his diet is less per serving, then it saves the family money. Just because you have to get two different things doesn't mean you are spending more money. The reason this is important is because it seems like false attempt to sound logical. Stick to the facts. Showing the girls a balanced diet is important.

Would he be willing to try anything besides chicken? He can have the protein and veggies du jour, and you and the kids could add a sauce and/or carb.

Fitnessmom82

So not exactly your situation but, I have three daughters and a husband. My husband and I are both logging our food, but as a bigger guy, he obviously gets more calories allotted to him than I would, and my kids are not on diets. I'm the cook, so I base dinners on what I will eat and build from there. I usually have a protein (usually chicken or steak) and veggies. So I will make that for everyone. Then I make pasta, rice ect...whatever everyone else will eat. My husband usually has a small portion of that, in addition to the protein and veggies. I try to make it flexible because I know what I eat is "boring", especially to the kids. So I may grill up chicken and eat it with veggies, but they may make fajitas out of it, ect...it does not impact my budget to do things this way. Sometimes the kids moan and groan and want heavy casseroles ect...but they are welcome to make a sandwich instead haha!