Emotional eating, help?

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I was having my best dedication to weight loss ever (from October 2017 to the end of January). I’d lost 25 lbs, diet was on point, and exercising 3 times per week. I ended up losing my dog in a two week battle for his life and later that same month my dad went in for a dual back surgery hours away from where we live and ended up in ICU for nearly a week. My world felt like it was upside down and that 25 lbs I had managed to keep off came back in a staggering 3 weeks because I was looking for comfort in food. The whole time I lost control I knew what I was doing was wrong and I was throwing everything away but it didn’t matter because I just needed to feel better. That was February and I’m still struggling to get back on the saddle. Please, help.

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  • marpanou
    marpanou Posts: 1 Member
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    I am in a similar situation. I want to change but in some weird way I dont feel like doing it and I dont want to change my habits. I was used to dieting and focusingn on my goals, reach them and being okay.
  • kentuckykay96
    kentuckykay96 Posts: 30 Member
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    Absolutely, last month I started to feel emotionally stable again but I think I was just avoiding exercise because it can be time consuming (and I didn’t want to add stress back into my life). Also, I love food and I had avoided the junk food in my diet, but when I let go I ate everything my heart desired. I had missed all the “greasy goodness” even though I know my body felt better without it. It was shameful. I’d hide my fast food bags and avoid telling my fiancé, who I’d inspired to diet/exercise, when he’d ask me how my diet went for the day.
  • kschwab0203
    kschwab0203 Posts: 610 Member
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    I'm in a similar situation. I lost 15 lbs last year and was able to maintain until right after the New Year. We started looking for a house (which was more stressful than fun) and found one by end of January. By that time I had gained about 5 lbs. Que 6 weeks of going through the lender process to get the loan approved. I alleviated my stress with food and booze. Three weeks ago I decided to get on the scale, I had gained back almost all the weight I lost!!! It's soooo disappointing when you realize what you've done. It makes me feel ashamed as well and out of control.

    For the last 3 weeks, I've been logging my food and started on my stationary bike 30 mins 3-4 times per week. Not everyday is perfect, not every day is a deficit, but I am making progress even if it's a teeny bit at a time.

    It's hard not to beat ourselves up and I for one can get into that self loathing frame of mind, but we are capable of getting ourselves out of the funk and loosing the weight because we have before. We just have to start.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    My condolences for a very rough month. Of course events like that affect us. Otherwise we’re just meat robots and what is the point of that?

    Can you give yourself a space to grieve and to get comfort that means more than a hidden meal?

    As for starting again, I suggest a fresh start trying hard not to compare your previous results. Let this be a new beginning.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,464 Member
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    Agree, start a food diary. Even if you don’t crunch the numbers at first. If you put your focus on a food diary you can gain control of the process.

  • JensJourney11
    JensJourney11 Posts: 90 Member
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    Sorry you’ve been through such a rough time. So many of us struggle with emotional eating so you are definitely not alone. It’s so hard when you know it’s wrong and you know it won’t make you feel better to eat the burger + fries or whatever but there’s still that pull and you do it
  • kentuckykay96
    kentuckykay96 Posts: 30 Member
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    kelMee2 wrote: »
    Hi, I have been an emotional eater my whole life, before I joined mfp I had managed to lose 17lbs on my own without support then my mum died suddenly and I put all that back on plus more. Just before the 1st Anniversary of her death I told myself I owed it to myself to get rid of the weight once and for all so I joined here and I’m in the right frame of mind and more determined than ever. I still have chocolate each day or crisps if I want them I haven’t cut any foods out if I can have them and stay within my calorie allowance then I do. Over the last 7 weeks I’ve lost 14lbs and boken my comfort eating habits, now when I’m stressed or upset I no longer reach for loads of junk food and spend the night eating. Instead I deal with the issue and log everything I eat to make sure I don’t fall off the wagon. If I deprived myself by cutting out chocolate I would crave it and binge but having some if I feel like it has stopped me binging and reduced my sugar craving. Don’t think of it as a diet, it’s a lifestyle change and you can totally do this!
    How do you keep yourself from binging on the foods you like? I have no control once I get started.
  • kentuckykay96
    kentuckykay96 Posts: 30 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    My condolences for a very rough month. Of course events like that affect us. Otherwise we’re just meat robots and what is the point of that?

    Can you give yourself a space to grieve and to get comfort that means more than a hidden meal?

    As for starting again, I suggest a fresh start trying hard not to compare your previous results. Let this be a new beginning.

    I need to find a constructive way to grieve besides sitting on a couch and stuffing my face. I do voice my emotions to my fiancé regularly but venting doesn’t seems to always cut it. I know some people keep journals, but that’s not really me. Any suggestions?
  • bigghunny
    bigghunny Posts: 549 Member
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    @bangeek1 I was diagnosed a month ago with a binge eating disorder after a lifetime of feeding my face over emotions I never dealt with. Have you tried over eaters anonymous? Therapy? You need to find the reason why you go to food for comfort. Gain coping skills to deal with emotions instead of food. Life is not always going to be perfect. Main keys to good mental health is good eating habits enough sleep and excersise. I just started this journey in Jan. and everyday I learn something new. You have to be patient and kind to yourself. No one is perfect. One meal at a time one day at a time. Hugs to you...cheering you on. You CAN AND WILL DO THIS!
    Melanie
  • thelettermegan
    thelettermegan Posts: 49 Member
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    Allow me to lend my condolences. Grieving is a an emotional process that stresses the body and the mind. You deserve comfort.

    A friend of mine went down a few dress sizes by making a set of rules - if she was tempted to do something she knew she'd regret (I think in this case it was texting and/or reaching out to an ex) she'd do a set of work out moves instead.

    Another option might be finding some comforting vegetable-heavy recipes, like a green soup with chicken broth. Produce is comforting to your tummy.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    bangeek1 wrote: »
    jgnatca wrote: »
    My condolences for a very rough month. Of course events like that affect us. Otherwise we’re just meat robots and what is the point of that?

    Can you give yourself a space to grieve and to get comfort that means more than a hidden meal?

    As for starting again, I suggest a fresh start trying hard not to compare your previous results. Let this be a new beginning.

    I need to find a constructive way to grieve besides sitting on a couch and stuffing my face. I do voice my emotions to my fiancé regularly but venting doesn’t seems to always cut it. I know some people keep journals, but that’s not really me. Any suggestions?

    I’m creative. Sometimes I draw sketches of my biggest fears (roller coasters figure prominently).

    Sometimes going to a beautiful place helps. It could be a forest, beach, or hilltop. You might put a couple stones in your pocket. Ancients built cairns for a reason.

    Have a goodbye ritual.

    These things can help move the grief from the part of the brain that obsesses about these things and anchors it in the moment. Revisit the drawing, the ritual, or the location and you can freely revisit the grief.

    Then walk back home.

  • serene212
    serene212 Posts: 8 Member
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    This is so tough and I’ve been there. Like everything else, one day at a time! You’ve got this!!
  • jacesmom4930
    jacesmom4930 Posts: 25 Member
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    I can totally relate!! My heart goes out to you.

    I’ve had back to back to back illnesses, my favourite horse died a horrible death, my dad was diagnosed with cancer.....ugh. It’s hard to keep your positive outlook sometimes. When I fall off the wagon I go all out! Lol

    I’ve been going for drives so I can cry in peace. Now that it’s nicer out, I’m going to go for some walks. I wish I had something wonderful and profound to help you. Lol

    Hang in there! You’re in the right place for the support and encouragement you need to help get you back on track!
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
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    Sorry you've had such a rough patch! What I learned about myself was that when food is a major source of pleasure in my life, and life is not very pleasant, cutting out the pleasure of food is pretty much impossible. What worked was making an effort to seek out pleasure that wasn't fattening - sitting outside and observing nature, lattes with almond milk and dark chocolate (50 calories), herbal teas, getting my fingernails done, listening to music. Sometimes it takes all you have just to make the effort to do these things, but if you can make yourself do them, it helps. When life literally won't let you do them - staying with someone at the ICU is really hard work - go easy on yourself and just try to hang on. And forgive yourself afterwards for whatever you needed to do at the time to get through it.

    As for exercise, I make a rule to do at least 15 minutes hard cardio a day when I do nothing else. I reckon I can endure being literally set on fire for fifteen minutes, so 15 minutes of pedaling my brains out on an exercise bike is no problem. When my husband was in the hospital, it was bodyweight squats, push-ups, and running up and down stairs.
  • skimninja
    skimninja Posts: 25 Member
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    I too am struggling but wanted to let you know I am here for you. It's just a bump in the road, we can do it!!