Slow and steady but difficult mentally

cc3833

Happy Friday everyone. I'm getting a bit down on myself how long it's taking for me to lose the weight. I do see progress... not only in the way I look but how much easier it is to do certain things. The weight just flew off last time in like 5 months. I'm just having a hard time with that. I know I could restrict my diet like I did last time and lose the weight much quicker.... but I know I want this time to be different. I want to be able to balance my life. I want to be able to go to parties instead of staying away from them because they will trigger a binge. I want to be able to go through my life prepared with the tools I need to make impromptu food/drink decisions. It's just so much harder to do it this way mentally.

Anyone have any advice? Any encouragement on how the slow and steady route really is the best way for long term success?

kommodevaran

Last time you lost weight, you regained. This time can be the last time you'll ever have to lose weight! But after you hit goal weight, you still have to be vigilant and make an effort. In fact, you'll be doing more or less the same as you're doing now, but without seeing even that small weekly drop on the scale. That can be hard too. So use these months as preparation for maintenance.

cc3833

Thank you. I knew that maintenance was not going to be easy (having gained the weight back myself and seeing others do the same.) But I guess I never really thought of it as not seeing any changes. This time I actually have a plan for maintenance which last time I just lost the weight and didn't bother to really write out a plan. This time I have a calorie goal and fitness routine that I would like to maintain after I lose the weight to keep it off. This time definitely feels different. I've been logging my food on here every day for 108 days. I went to a party the other day and I just took out my phone and started playing around with entries to see what would really be worth it... which is something I've never done before either. And I'm proud of my progress and that I am trying to learn how to eat with no restrictions. It's is just hard on my brain. But you're completely right.... maintenance will not be much different and I just have to find other NSV to think about because that is what maintenance will be completely comprised of.

RoxieDawn

You named it, balance.

The lose/gain cycle happens when we don't keep maintenance in sight and part of the plan. Social events, family outings, holidays, vacations will always be something in your life, working through strategies now will help you when time to maintain. You will get mentally stronger the longer you practice. Advance notice for the social/family/holidays will help you better plan. In the event its spare of the moment, learn to make the best choices and give yourself leeway and not be bogged down by the details too much that you don't enjoy your time with friends and family.

SisterSueGetsFit

Girl, I'm right with you! I've gained back 18 of the 60 I'd lost. I'm trying to do it differently (more slowly) this time. I restricted quite heavily the first time and while I lost weight quickly, it wasn't a lasting solution. I completely understand the toll it can take and the frustration of not seeing/feeling the weight drop fast. Feel free to send a friend request. Good luck!

NovusDies

The thing about slow and steady is if you do it right you can go through big chunks of the day forgetting you are on a diet. This means having your hunger and cravings under control and not feeling like you are deprived. For me it also means staying away from the scale and focusing on how much better I feel instead. I don't want to get on that thing and it tell me I am up x lbs because of a water weight fluctuation. Does knowing why actually make it comforting when I wanted good news? Not to me. In the past I would have to spend time calmly and rationally settling myself which makes it that much harder for the diet to fade into the background of my day. I do weigh myself but I try and wait long enough for me to only get good news.

jjpptt2

NovusDies wrote: »

The thing about slow and steady is if you do it right you can go through big chunks of the day forgetting you are on a diet. This means having your hunger and cravings under control and not feeling like you are deprived. For me it also means staying away from the scale and focusing on how much better I feel instead. I don't want to get on that thing and it tell me I am up x lbs because of a water weight fluctuation. Does knowing why actually make it comforting when I wanted good news? Not to me. In the past I would have to spend time calmly and rationally settling myself which makes it that much harder for the diet to fade into the background of my day. I do weigh myself but I try and wait long enough for me to only get good news.

The bolded part... is that a "my experience has been" example, or is that the case for a majority of people?

cc3833

I actually find that weighing myself everyday has been super helpful to me. Because I weigh and log everything that goes in my mouth pretty much its very easy for me to see what caused bloating... did I have too much salt? Did I drink enough water? Those kinds of things. I found that when I weigh in once a week it was really bogging me down. I try to find ways to see progress. I'm proud of my 108 days of logging. I took my measurements and I lost 5.4" since September. I have a big difference in my strength since personal training started 2 months ago. I guess I should mention that my weight isn't just the aesthetic of looking better. I own and ride horses. I plan on competing this season and I really do need to be in decent shape (not fair to have him carry me around and not be in the best shape I can be for him). I also would like to be able to ride a bigger range of horses and ponies and right now I exceed the weight limit for quite a few horses and ponies at my barn.

I can't say that I can go through chunks of the day without knowing I am on a "diet". I used to eat pretty rich "unhealthy" foods. So I am constantly trying to convince myself that I do feel better not eating those all the time. The foods I used to eat now can cause cramping and very unpleasant bloating so I try to choose something else that I will still enjoy eating but does not cause that discomfort. Had I not logged everything and paid attention to how those foods made me feel I don't think I would be successful with this.... Like Chipotle. I love Chipotle but it HATES me. I will have bad cramping for days. Just not worth it.

You guys are right though. This is going to be my new normal. And things that are worth it take time. I just need to remember that. I am just going to have to fight for my health. I am going to have to push towards my goals. I am going to have to be okay with taking my time. Nothing good comes easy I suppose!

sarahbrown1015

I've been at this forever... Ive lost between 80-95 lbs depending on the month/year/season of life. I listen to a lot of podcasts to keep me motivated and to remember that change takes time. That it is more important to focus on the process vs the outcome. Here are a few of my favs:
The Model Health show- love this guy!
The Primal Potential
On Air With Ella

Great to listen to in the AM. Gets my mind in a good space!

cc3833

That's a great idea to listen to podcasts! I always say I am going to look for ones that I would want to listen to but never actually do it! Thanks for the recommendations! Definitely going to check them out!

knoxy550

I am on slow and steady for a reason, you don't feel deprived of any foods and therefore don't get cravings. I was out for coffee this morning and the plainest thing to eat was a cherry scone which I had with 1 pat of butter. At lunchtime I had a kiwi with a lemon Greek style yogurt (56 cals) and a cup of tea. I have logged all this into my diary and now know I have x x amount of calories left to see me through the evening for dinner and snacks, I also try not to eat all my exercise calories every day, but some days are better than others. Just keep 'pegging' away, and you will see the results, also people will notice your weight loss, and to me that is very encouraging. All the best for your journey and remember this is a way of eating for life, just not a diet.

laur357

cc3833 wrote: »

That's a great idea to listen to podcasts! I always say I am going to look for ones that I would want to listen to but never actually do it! Thanks for the recommendations! Definitely going to check them out!

You might like the Half-Size Me podcast. It's a collection of interviews with people who lost or are losing substantial amounts of weight. She places a good emphasis on slow, maintainable weight loss and mental struggles that come with maintaining, regardless of how the interviewee chose to lose their weight (Weight Watchers, calorie tracking, carb restriction, etc.). Full disclosure, she is a 'coach' and runs a fee-based support community, but the Podcasts are free and there's not much buy-in to junk science or fads.

MegaMooseEsq

I am a big fan of slow and steady. I started gaining weight in 2010, and by the end of 2017 weighed over 200 pounds for the first time in my life (I am a 5'2" woman). I had never lost weight before and I wanted to do it once and do it right, which for me meant focusing on maintenance right out of the gate. I started losing in January 2017 and am down 53 pounds today with 20 pounds to my first goal. That comes out to just under 4 pounds a month, not counting a couple of big drops and a couple of long stalls. I have found this rate of loss to be very manageable. I still go out to eat, eat fast food, drink alcohol, and eat dessert. I just do all of those things less than I used to, I log every day, and I spend a lot of time here giving and getting support. Sometimes I get impatient, but less and less often as the results have piled up and I don't feel any pressure or interest in going back to those old habits and losing the progress I've made.

I do think that when you're losing slow, it can be helpful to add goals once you get the loss rolling. I have weight related goals, but also clothing goals, fitness goals, and general health goals. After the first six months I felt pretty confident maintaining a deficit, so I shifted my primary focus to fitness. I've taken the slow and steady approach there, too, but at this point I really don't recognize myself from the person who started this thing 16 months ago. Small changes add up IF you are consistent with them. Good luck - you can do this!

ETA: There's a massive NSV thread over in the success forum that can give you some good ideas for additional goals (it sounds like you're already well on your way with the fitness gains - awesome!).

cc3833

Thanks for the Half-Size Me podcast recommendation. And thank you for the NSV thread. I'll have to check it out. A friend of mine (got chubby in college but lost the 30 lbs and kept off majority of it for about 5ish years) and I decided to make mini goals for the year. She was bored with her fitness routine and wanted to spruce it up since she doesn't have any weight to lose but wants to work towards something, and I wanted to give myself something other than the scale to look forward to. So my 3 goals by June 21 are weigh in the 150's... even if it's 159.9... be able to do a split (used to be able to many moons ago so I know it's possible), and be able to do 5-8 actual pushups (not on my knees)... Well I crushed my pushup goal at my training session lasted night.. was able to do 2 sets of 10! I couldn't believe it! When I had started training 2 months ago I wanted to die doing 2 sets of 5 modified pushups! Shout out to my trainer for knowing I could do it! So the NSV thread will be just what I need to fill in a new goal #3!

I don't know that I could go as slow as 4 lbs a month! Koodos to you! Sounds like you really have this thing under control. Towards the end of my weight loss last time I was at about 5 lbs a month and I was totally good with that since I only had 15 lbs to goal. But right now I have 42 lbs left to lose. I am hoping to have those suckers gone by January 2019... which I believe to be a much more realistic goal then losing weight in 5 months.. sigh.. hard work lol! So all said and done if all goes according to plan (yeah right! hahahah!) It will take me about a year to lose 61 lbs. And when I do the math it comes out to 5 lbs a month roughly. I am averaging about 1 lb a week right now. (Started this January and bouncing between 17-20 lbs lost since then). But my body looks so much better! I am 5'0, 28 years old, female, started at 191.6 and as of today 173. My goal is 130. And I can say in Dec/Jan I HATED my body and what I let myself get to. As of this morning there are things I don't like and I want to work on but very few areas I hate right now.

MegaMooseEsq

cc3833 wrote: »

Thanks for the Half-Size Me podcast recommendation. And thank you for the NSV thread. I'll have to check it out. A friend of mine (got chubby in college but lost the 30 lbs and kept off majority of it for about 5ish years) and I decided to make mini goals for the year. She was bored with her fitness routine and wanted to spruce it up since she doesn't have any weight to lose but wants to work towards something, and I wanted to give myself something other than the scale to look forward to. So my 3 goals by June 21 are weigh in the 150's... even if it's 159.9... be able to do a split (used to be able to many moons ago so I know it's possible), and be able to do 5-8 actual pushups (not on my knees)... Well I crushed my pushup goal at my training session lasted night.. was able to do 2 sets of 10! I couldn't believe it! When I had started training 2 months ago I wanted to die doing 2 sets of 5 modified pushups! Shout out to my trainer for knowing I could do it! So the NSV thread will be just what I need to fill in a new goal #3!

I don't know that I could go as slow as 4 lbs a month! Koodos to you! Sounds like you really have this thing under control. Towards the end of my weight loss last time I was at about 5 lbs a month and I was totally good with that since I only had 15 lbs to goal. But right now I have 42 lbs left to lose. I am hoping to have those suckers gone by January 2019... which I believe to be a much more realistic goal then losing weight in 5 months.. sigh.. hard work lol! So all said and done if all goes according to plan (yeah right! hahahah!) It will take me about a year to lose 61 lbs. And when I do the math it comes out to 5 lbs a month roughly. I am averaging about 1 lb a week right now. (Started this January and bouncing between 17-20 lbs lost since then). But my body looks so much better! I am 5'0, 28 years old, female, started at 191.6 and as of today 173. My goal is 130. And I can say in Dec/Jan I HATED my body and what I let myself get to. As of this morning there are things I don't like and I want to work on but very few areas I hate right now.

I am super jealous of your push-up accomplishment! I've made it from wall to (correct form) knee, but that's it so far. I'll get there one day! I sort of ended up at this rate of loss on accident, but it's been very sustainable. I eat at maintenance once or twice a week, which definitely slows things down, but means I can still eat out and enjoy the occasional calorie bomb without it being a binge. My plan at this point is just to drift backwards into maintenance (my first goal is also 130) - I've been slowly lowering my calories over the last few months, but I think I'm about as low as I want to go. I feel pretty happy with my progress so if someone told me I wasn't allowed to lose any more weight I'd be okay with it so long as I was still allowed to lift weights.

kittybenn

@sarahbrown1015 - love podcasts and really appreciate the recommendations. You might like Half Size Me.

cwolfman13

My focus was never really on losing weight...my focus was more on the process of becoming a healthier person and creating healthy habits and learning about nutrition and applying new knowledge, etc. Losing weight was more or less a nice bi-product of immersing myself in the process of being a better me.

I think it's the same with lots of things in life...we're currently in the middle of a large multi year project at work...if I lose site of the process and only look for the result that is going to be years down the road, the whole thing is going to go wonky. I have to focus on the now and the process that will ultimately lead to that larger result.

NovusDies

jjpptt2 wrote: »

The bolded part... is that a "my experience has been" example, or is that the case for a majority of people?

For me and several people I know. I apologize for how it was worded. I am usually more careful than that to keep it clear because one of my pet peeves is when someone speaks for the majority. It was not my intent I was just in a hurry at the moment.

kshama2001

NovusDies wrote: »

The thing about slow and steady is if you do it right you can go through big chunks of the day forgetting you are on a diet. This means having your hunger and cravings under control and not feeling like you are deprived. For me it also means staying away from the scale and focusing on how much better I feel instead. I don't want to get on that thing and it tell me I am up x lbs because of a water weight fluctuation. Does knowing why actually make it comforting when I wanted good news? Not to me. In the past I would have to spend time calmly and rationally settling myself which makes it that much harder for the diet to fade into the background of my day. I do weigh myself but I try and wait long enough for me to only get good news.

jjpptt2 wrote: »

The bolded part... is that a "my experience has been" example, or is that the case for a majority of people?

I didn't write that and in general don't like generalizations, but I think that should be generally true for the majority of people - if someone has a modest calorie deficit and eats satiating foods, they could certainly not feel hungry except right before meals.

NovusDies

@kshama2001

I think the issue might have been that 'most' people would forget they are on a diet and forgetting was not the best way to express it either. I do my best to not dwell on being on a diet and if I am not hungry it is just easier to push it into the background.