Why do I feel so anxious about weight training in the gym....

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Xkmaf2018X
Xkmaf2018X Posts: 97 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I "started" stronglifts 5x5 last week and only managed one workout at home....

I feel to anxious to step into the weight room at the gym, my main worry is that people will look at me and be like "what on earth is she doing", "she's got crap form", "she can't squat right", "her deadlifts are bad" etc etc....I used to have a personal trainer and who always said my Form was good and I don't feel that my form is bad but what if it is to others.

I was once deadlifting in the gym (after it took me weeks of talking to myself AGAIN and now I'm in the same position) and someone commented that my deadlift was good and that I was strong - I keep trying to think positive but I just feel so anxious.

How can I get over that feeling of what others will think of me.

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Replies

  • collectingblues
    collectingblues Posts: 2,541 Member
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    I understand the feeling -- it's precisely why I dropped a not-small chunk of change to get plates, bars, dumbbells, and everything else at home. I'm sure that using my gym would have been cheaper, but not at the cost of the anxiety.
  • Xkmaf2018X
    Xkmaf2018X Posts: 97 Member
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    Awww but I want a conventional gym to be for me haha! I am desperate to get in there and do my routine.

    Its funny because my husband said not long ago "why do you always worry about what other people think of you" haha and its true. I worry they will judge me.

    How did others overcome this fear?
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
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    not in a harsh way, no one really cares what you do in the gym. they are busy working out
    that being said, if they do notice, they will either cheer you on or maybe ask you if you need help (if you look uncomfy)
  • iWishMyNameWasRebel
    iWishMyNameWasRebel Posts: 174 Member
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    From personal experience, the only people who will even notice someone else is in the gym at all is when that person is using the equipment they need, LOL! However, I feel you on this. I still struggle with it even though I know no one cares, outside of the occasional thumbs up, or busy body telling me I'll "lose weight in no time" - people are people, and most of these people are slackers just hanging around and not working. I have actually had a couple of people stop me to tell me I'm doing something wrong that I know I was doing correctly. But that's a couple of times out of several hundred visits. They got the point quickly and now just go about their business, ignoring me like I want. The best advice I can give is to get into your own zone so *you* don't notice *other people*. Frankly, the more serious the other people in the gym are, the more likely it is they won't even know you exist. They just want to focus, just like you. :)
  • DrifterBear
    DrifterBear Posts: 265 Member
    edited April 2018
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    Has anyone ever said anything to you? If not, it's all in your head. Where else is it coming from? Most people aren't paying half as much attention to you as you think they are. From my personal perspective, I have 10x the respect for anyone getting under the bar than anyone else in the gym. You should focus on form and there's tons of resources out there to guide you. If you spend a little time researching, I guarantee you'll have better form than most people. Anything to get you outside your comfort zone will boost confidence, which is a big part of what the gym is about. So what if you're a beginner? Check your own ego at the door and recognize you're just getting started. In a few months you'll be a pro, but you have to start somewhere.
  • Thehardmakesitworthit
    Thehardmakesitworthit Posts: 838 Member
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    As others have said, I do not want to diminish how you feel but I would encourage you to love yourself more! I am an old lady of 53 with my head high in that weight room. I am so focused on my goals, my safety, watching my *kitten* go below parallel :sweat_smile: in a good squat that I forget there is anyone around me. Live your life girl! Its the only one you got and nobody elses opinion is going to change that! Enjoy!
  • Rachel6xxx
    Rachel6xxx Posts: 9 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel. I used to go to a women's only gym for the same reason. However I do use the main weight training gym now as I am able to train with my boyfriend with me (I wouldn't have the confidence to go in there if I was on my own though.) I always admire women who I see in there on their own and always think 'I wish I could do that'.
    If you've had a personal trainer and you've been told your form is good then I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm sure people are more likely to admire you than criticise you! Go for it! Good luck :)
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 1,971 Member
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    I can completely understand the feeling. Having a workout buddy (his strength is pretty similar to mine so we can usually use the same weights) helps me feel a little braver to use the full range of equipment. I've never had too much issue using dumbbells, but it took some convincing myself to move up to using the full size barbells as those are mostly used by the obvious heavy/regular lifters in the gym.

    Once I do it one time, however, it gets a little easier, and after a couple times, it's not that big of a deal. Usually it's that first time that is rough for me and I need to talk myself into it!
  • JenHol79
    JenHol79 Posts: 90 Member
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    I struggle with that sometimes too. I have taken a buddy a couple of times and familiarized myself with machines etc and downloaded an app called jefit. Its pretty neat. Ive been stepping out on my own more each time and continue to feel more confident! Feel free to add me if you like! Take care and keep at it!
  • tlpina82
    tlpina82 Posts: 229 Member
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    It's all in your head. With the exception of an idiot or two, no one gives a crap about you or what you're doing at the gym.
    Most people will even try to help you correct the exercises if they see you're about to get hurt.

    In any case, if you want to lift, youtube it.
    How to Squat? How to Deadlift? How to bench press?
    Study it, emulate it. That's how you learn.

    And if anyone looks at you funny, a good "GO F&^% YOURSELF" always works.
  • smolmaus
    smolmaus Posts: 442 Member
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    Been there exactly. The only way to get over the feeling is to feel it, then to go and do the thing anyway. You will feel uncomfortable and out of place the first time and that's okay! It's only a small normal feeling that your anxiety-brain is exaggerating and you know in your logical brain that nobody is going to care that much about what you're doing. Nothing bad is going to happen.

    Checking your form in mirrors or videoing yourself and comparing that to youtube tutorials might help if you're genuinely concerned about your form (or ask a trainer to take a minute to check if for you) but getting over the initial anxiety just takes saying to yourself that your fitness goals are more important to you than avoiding a few minutes of awkwardness. You can do it.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
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    Your form is fine. Multiple people have told you so. But let's face it, if someone looks at you and thinks your form is bad, you will not die. What's the worst that could happen? Someone you don't know or care about will think you are less than perfect. It's not a bad thing to be less than perfect. Don't tell anyone, but I am not actually perfect myself.
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
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    The only way to get over your fear is to keep going to the gym. Eventually, you'll feel comfortable. You might even make gym friends.

    I had no idea where to start lifting; I got a couple books from the library and just started. That was 5 years ago. Fast forward to now, I've competed in 4 powerlifting competitions at the gym. I have a great group of supportive gym friends; none of which would have happened if I had given up b/c I felt awkward.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
    edited April 2018
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    I am incredibly shy and the least confident person ever and I go to the gym and lift weights. It was intimidating at first but I got over it :) I love my gym time.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    Xkmaf2018X wrote: »
    Awww but I want a conventional gym to be for me haha! I am desperate to get in there and do my routine.

    Its funny because my husband said not long ago "why do you always worry about what other people think of you" haha and its true. I worry they will judge me.

    How did others overcome this fear?
    Then just push through it and go to the gym! Trust me I am really really shy so I know where you are coming from but really the only thing you can do is just do it anyway. Once you’re done you will wonder what you were so nervous about
  • Sp1tfire
    Sp1tfire Posts: 1,120 Member
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    I got over it by jumping in feet first. My first real gym (besides a tiny campus one) was a bodybuilder gym complete with constant rock blaring rock music. I put headphones in, max volume, and set to work. I started simple with moves I practiced at home. Simple stuff, like dumbbell bench press and bicep curls. I was petrified to squat, but I wanted to to get the results I wanted. My best advice is to watch tons of videos. The Art of manliness' video on squats on youtube helped me so much. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhVC_AnZYYM He also has excellent deadlift ones. If you're ever unsure even at the gym, pop open your phone if you can and look for form help, or observe others while doing a simple move.

    Now I go to the YMCA, but I miss and love my old bodybuilder gym and will be joining it again in the future when I no longer get financial assistance form the Y as a student. and at my old gym I only ever had one person talk to me about form and he was very kind and his advice helped a lot.

    Best of luck! I hope you can channel your anxiety at the gym into motivation. I sure loved being surrounded by my goals after some time.
  • 1BlueAurora
    1BlueAurora Posts: 439 Member
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    Just put on your workout clothes and get out the door to your gym. Don't let fear paralyze you.
    To be honest, I am one of those people who occasionally look at other people working out. Just a brief glance. You know what I'm thinking? "Wow, I wish I could do that as well as she can." And it motivates me to keep going, I redouble my efforts, and try hard to improve my form. I don't actually ever talk to anyone and say what is going through my mind because that would be weird for all of us.

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