Why do I feel so anxious about weight training in the gym....

Xkmaf2018X
Xkmaf2018X Posts: 97 Member
edited November 26 in Fitness and Exercise
I "started" stronglifts 5x5 last week and only managed one workout at home....

I feel to anxious to step into the weight room at the gym, my main worry is that people will look at me and be like "what on earth is she doing", "she's got crap form", "she can't squat right", "her deadlifts are bad" etc etc....I used to have a personal trainer and who always said my Form was good and I don't feel that my form is bad but what if it is to others.

I was once deadlifting in the gym (after it took me weeks of talking to myself AGAIN and now I'm in the same position) and someone commented that my deadlift was good and that I was strong - I keep trying to think positive but I just feel so anxious.

How can I get over that feeling of what others will think of me.

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Replies

  • collectingblues
    collectingblues Posts: 2,541 Member
    I understand the feeling -- it's precisely why I dropped a not-small chunk of change to get plates, bars, dumbbells, and everything else at home. I'm sure that using my gym would have been cheaper, but not at the cost of the anxiety.
  • Xkmaf2018X
    Xkmaf2018X Posts: 97 Member
    Awww but I want a conventional gym to be for me haha! I am desperate to get in there and do my routine.

    Its funny because my husband said not long ago "why do you always worry about what other people think of you" haha and its true. I worry they will judge me.

    How did others overcome this fear?
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    not in a harsh way, no one really cares what you do in the gym. they are busy working out
    that being said, if they do notice, they will either cheer you on or maybe ask you if you need help (if you look uncomfy)
  • iWishMyNameWasRebel
    iWishMyNameWasRebel Posts: 174 Member
    From personal experience, the only people who will even notice someone else is in the gym at all is when that person is using the equipment they need, LOL! However, I feel you on this. I still struggle with it even though I know no one cares, outside of the occasional thumbs up, or busy body telling me I'll "lose weight in no time" - people are people, and most of these people are slackers just hanging around and not working. I have actually had a couple of people stop me to tell me I'm doing something wrong that I know I was doing correctly. But that's a couple of times out of several hundred visits. They got the point quickly and now just go about their business, ignoring me like I want. The best advice I can give is to get into your own zone so *you* don't notice *other people*. Frankly, the more serious the other people in the gym are, the more likely it is they won't even know you exist. They just want to focus, just like you. :)
  • DrifterBear
    DrifterBear Posts: 265 Member
    edited April 2018
    Has anyone ever said anything to you? If not, it's all in your head. Where else is it coming from? Most people aren't paying half as much attention to you as you think they are. From my personal perspective, I have 10x the respect for anyone getting under the bar than anyone else in the gym. You should focus on form and there's tons of resources out there to guide you. If you spend a little time researching, I guarantee you'll have better form than most people. Anything to get you outside your comfort zone will boost confidence, which is a big part of what the gym is about. So what if you're a beginner? Check your own ego at the door and recognize you're just getting started. In a few months you'll be a pro, but you have to start somewhere.
  • Thehardmakesitworthit
    Thehardmakesitworthit Posts: 838 Member
    As others have said, I do not want to diminish how you feel but I would encourage you to love yourself more! I am an old lady of 53 with my head high in that weight room. I am so focused on my goals, my safety, watching my *kitten* go below parallel :sweat_smile: in a good squat that I forget there is anyone around me. Live your life girl! Its the only one you got and nobody elses opinion is going to change that! Enjoy!
  • Rachel6xxx
    Rachel6xxx Posts: 9 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. I used to go to a women's only gym for the same reason. However I do use the main weight training gym now as I am able to train with my boyfriend with me (I wouldn't have the confidence to go in there if I was on my own though.) I always admire women who I see in there on their own and always think 'I wish I could do that'.
    If you've had a personal trainer and you've been told your form is good then I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I'm sure people are more likely to admire you than criticise you! Go for it! Good luck :)
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 2,085 Member
    I can completely understand the feeling. Having a workout buddy (his strength is pretty similar to mine so we can usually use the same weights) helps me feel a little braver to use the full range of equipment. I've never had too much issue using dumbbells, but it took some convincing myself to move up to using the full size barbells as those are mostly used by the obvious heavy/regular lifters in the gym.

    Once I do it one time, however, it gets a little easier, and after a couple times, it's not that big of a deal. Usually it's that first time that is rough for me and I need to talk myself into it!
  • JenHol79
    JenHol79 Posts: 90 Member
    I struggle with that sometimes too. I have taken a buddy a couple of times and familiarized myself with machines etc and downloaded an app called jefit. Its pretty neat. Ive been stepping out on my own more each time and continue to feel more confident! Feel free to add me if you like! Take care and keep at it!
  • tlpina82
    tlpina82 Posts: 229 Member
    It's all in your head. With the exception of an idiot or two, no one gives a crap about you or what you're doing at the gym.
    Most people will even try to help you correct the exercises if they see you're about to get hurt.

    In any case, if you want to lift, youtube it.
    How to Squat? How to Deadlift? How to bench press?
    Study it, emulate it. That's how you learn.

    And if anyone looks at you funny, a good "GO F&^% YOURSELF" always works.
  • smolmaus
    smolmaus Posts: 442 Member
    Been there exactly. The only way to get over the feeling is to feel it, then to go and do the thing anyway. You will feel uncomfortable and out of place the first time and that's okay! It's only a small normal feeling that your anxiety-brain is exaggerating and you know in your logical brain that nobody is going to care that much about what you're doing. Nothing bad is going to happen.

    Checking your form in mirrors or videoing yourself and comparing that to youtube tutorials might help if you're genuinely concerned about your form (or ask a trainer to take a minute to check if for you) but getting over the initial anxiety just takes saying to yourself that your fitness goals are more important to you than avoiding a few minutes of awkwardness. You can do it.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    Your form is fine. Multiple people have told you so. But let's face it, if someone looks at you and thinks your form is bad, you will not die. What's the worst that could happen? Someone you don't know or care about will think you are less than perfect. It's not a bad thing to be less than perfect. Don't tell anyone, but I am not actually perfect myself.
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
    The only way to get over your fear is to keep going to the gym. Eventually, you'll feel comfortable. You might even make gym friends.

    I had no idea where to start lifting; I got a couple books from the library and just started. That was 5 years ago. Fast forward to now, I've competed in 4 powerlifting competitions at the gym. I have a great group of supportive gym friends; none of which would have happened if I had given up b/c I felt awkward.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    edited April 2018
    I am incredibly shy and the least confident person ever and I go to the gym and lift weights. It was intimidating at first but I got over it :) I love my gym time.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    Xkmaf2018X wrote: »
    Awww but I want a conventional gym to be for me haha! I am desperate to get in there and do my routine.

    Its funny because my husband said not long ago "why do you always worry about what other people think of you" haha and its true. I worry they will judge me.

    How did others overcome this fear?
    Then just push through it and go to the gym! Trust me I am really really shy so I know where you are coming from but really the only thing you can do is just do it anyway. Once you’re done you will wonder what you were so nervous about
  • Sp1tfire
    Sp1tfire Posts: 1,120 Member
    I got over it by jumping in feet first. My first real gym (besides a tiny campus one) was a bodybuilder gym complete with constant rock blaring rock music. I put headphones in, max volume, and set to work. I started simple with moves I practiced at home. Simple stuff, like dumbbell bench press and bicep curls. I was petrified to squat, but I wanted to to get the results I wanted. My best advice is to watch tons of videos. The Art of manliness' video on squats on youtube helped me so much. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhVC_AnZYYM He also has excellent deadlift ones. If you're ever unsure even at the gym, pop open your phone if you can and look for form help, or observe others while doing a simple move.

    Now I go to the YMCA, but I miss and love my old bodybuilder gym and will be joining it again in the future when I no longer get financial assistance form the Y as a student. and at my old gym I only ever had one person talk to me about form and he was very kind and his advice helped a lot.

    Best of luck! I hope you can channel your anxiety at the gym into motivation. I sure loved being surrounded by my goals after some time.
  • 1BlueAurora
    1BlueAurora Posts: 439 Member
    Just put on your workout clothes and get out the door to your gym. Don't let fear paralyze you.
    To be honest, I am one of those people who occasionally look at other people working out. Just a brief glance. You know what I'm thinking? "Wow, I wish I could do that as well as she can." And it motivates me to keep going, I redouble my efforts, and try hard to improve my form. I don't actually ever talk to anyone and say what is going through my mind because that would be weird for all of us.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    edited April 2018
    yanno what . . . everyone i've come across/talked to/lifted alongside in four years since i took up lifting has got something they're not happy with, some challenge they're trying to rise to, some 'failure' or 'weakness' or form fix that they struggle with. everyone. and always.

    that's what strength training is. you identify something, you improve it, you get better, you identify something else, you make it a project to improve that . . . . 'continuous improvement' isn't just about lifting more weight. it's about this kind of internal 'invisible' thing. if you have things you want to work on and things that you'd like to improve, your self-consciousness is a shame because you're absolutely in the right place doing the right things in the right company. you're a lifter :p i would say you belong.

  • zilkah
    zilkah Posts: 207 Member
    I go to a small 24 hour gym and try to workout at non peak times :)
  • flowerhorsey
    flowerhorsey Posts: 154 Member
    I felt like this too. I joined a gym a year ago and it just took time to feel comfortable. Now I'm probably too comfortable.
  • hungrywombat
    hungrywombat Posts: 47 Member
    Could you try going early morning/late evening or other non-peak times, even just for the first few sessions? It might help you to gain confidence as you get into your routine.
    Also, as others have said, generally people aren't paying attention to what others are doing. If I'm looking at someone else, it's purely to be impressed by how much they can lift, and mentally cheering them on :)
  • Davidsdottir
    Davidsdottir Posts: 1,285 Member
    I totally get this. I've been lifting for six years and I usually lift at 5 am. If my schedule gets thrown off and I have to go at a different time, I feel super awkward and nervous... even squatting or deadlifting 200+ lbs. A new environment always freaks me out. Just have a plan and get your stuff done. No one is paying attention to you. Trust me!
  • jayemes
    jayemes Posts: 865 Member
    I asked the owner/trainer at my gym for a personal training session when I started with barbells. Then I told him, "you're here all the time. If you ever see me doing something stupid or dangerous, stop me". He hasn't stopped me yet......
  • colors_fade
    colors_fade Posts: 464 Member
    Xkmaf2018X wrote: »
    How can I get over that feeling of what others will think of me.

    I wish there were a good answer for this. You just have to do it.

    I had the same reaction when I stepped foot into my gym for the first time almost 6 years ago. I was terrified; terrified of people would think about me, the new fat guy, terrified about what they'd think of what I was doing, how my form looked, etc. I had all the same anxiety you did.

    The first big thing to understand is: no one cares about you. Honestly, they don't. They're too concerned about their own self. They're all there for their own goals and improvement. If they're judging anyone, they're judging their own self. They're worried about how they are progressing and they are definitely not worried about you.

    The second thing to understand is: most folks at the gym are actually really good, cool people.

    I've been at my gym for 6 years now and I know a lot of the regulars. I learned to talk to them (briefly; people are there to workout after all, not have conversations) and get to know their names. The gym becomes a comfortable place when you know who people are. All it takes is a brief introduction and swap of names, and pretty soon you're saying "hi" when you see them walk in. The gym can be a really friendly place. Give it some time.

    And a final thought for a little encouragement: people are not judging you, but they will pay attention if you become a regular. And that can lead to some really encouraging events. For instance, a few weeks back a lady at my gym bumped into me (figuratively) and mentioned how she couldn't believe how much I'd changed since she noticed me first coming to the gym. She said I looked a lot different and she was impressed by the change (I've lost 20 lbs. since July and acquire some muscle over the past 6 years). It was a really nice thing for a near-total-stranger to say. But that's the kind of people that gym folk are: They're there to work on their own self, and they know you're doing the same, and everyone just wants to see everyone else make their goals.

    It's a positive place, a gym. Embrace it.


  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    No one cares. Lol, most people are worried about what they look like and not what others do.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • Alegrya
    Alegrya Posts: 10 Member
    I can empathise with you. After paying for months and not going I cancelled my gym membership as feeling guilty about not going was doing my mental health a disservice. With things in my future I should really go back to lifting again as it brings my weight down but finding a understanding PT and using them as accountability is its own hurdle.

    Suburban gyms are way less toxic than city gyms in my area but still places I kind of dread going.
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