CANT STOP BINGE EATING
hnic76
Posts: 22 Member
i’m one of those people who have been trying to start a diet for years but never do.. these past two months has been when i’ve gotten serious and started finding new foods, actually calorie counting and weighing my food. BUT i just can’t seem to stick with it, i know this may sound like i should be asking more for motivation rather than nutrition help but the main reason i keep failing is i have a very bad binge eating problem! and i know it’s all on me, i’m the one who needs to find that self control but i’m in the constant cycle of ill do good all day, then give in and eat something i shouldn’t be eating, and then i’ll be like “well i’ve already cheated so why not just give in and start over tomorrow” and that tomorrow never comes because i keep doing the same thing!! i just need tips, and like i said, i’m sure many of you will just tell me how i just need to find self control but i’m sure anyone else with a binge eating problem knows how hard it is to break that cycle!!
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Replies
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I often think that telling someone with severe binge eating issues to use more willpower is like telling someone with clinical depression to just cheer up. It's not about trying harder. The good news is that there are options that can help: https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/binge-eating-disorder14
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If you truly can't stop this has been helpful for some people:
Overeater's Anonymous
I would also look at what you're eating during the day. When you say "I'll do good all day, then give in and eat something I shouldn't be eating" that tells me that you might be undereating during the day or depriving yourself of too many foods you love. You might try taking whatever it is you usually "give in" to at night, and eating a calorie controlled portion of it with your lunch, preferably eating it somewhere that you don't have access to more (like a single serving bag of potato chips for example.) Then see if that makes it easier for you to make good choices in the evening.
It could be literal disordered eating or it could be the little kid in all of us that says "I was good all day, I DESERVE this." The lunch experiment might help that kid feel like (s)he doesn't have to eat ALL THE TASTY FOOD as soon as you deviate from your meal plan.5 -
I would strongly recommend therapy.0
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I would advise you to see a therapist. They really can help.0
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i’m one of those people who have been trying to start a diet for years but never do.. these past two months has been when i’ve gotten serious and started finding new foods, actually calorie counting and weighing my food. BUT i just can’t seem to stick with it, i know this may sound like i should be asking more for motivation rather than nutrition help but the main reason i keep failing is i have a very bad binge eating problem! and i know it’s all on me, i’m the one who needs to find that self control but i’m in the constant cycle of ill do good all day, then give in and eat something i shouldn’t be eating, and then i’ll be like “well i’ve already cheated so why not just give in and start over tomorrow” and that tomorrow never comes because i keep doing the same thing!! i just need tips, and like i said, i’m sure many of you will just tell me how i just need to find self control but i’m sure anyone else with a binge eating problem knows how hard it is to break that cycle!!
I think it depends a lot on what is really happening.
If you are trying to eat an aggressively low cal/healthy diet during the day, and then your willpower runs out at the end of the day and you go over your calories a bit by eating treat foods, this is probably not "binge eating" in a clinical sense of the word.
So I guess I would ask...
What is your height and weight?
How many lbs are you trying to lose per week?
What is your calorie goal?
How strict a diet are you trying to stick to?
Are you getting enough protein and fat in your "planned" food?
If you are not just losing willpower in the evening (which is fairly common) but losing control - eating whatever you can find even if you don't really want it, eating until you feel sick, hiding while you eat, stuff like that - you should seek professional help, that's not a "I need tips and tricks" sort of a thing. Not that therapy isn't necessarily helpful or needed for all sorts of issues around food, but I think sometimes we call things "binge eating" that aren't disordered at all, they are actually pretty logical and understandable behavior!7 -
i also just want to clarify what i mean by binge eating, it may have not been the best to describe it as a very bad binge eating problem because it could be much worse! i’m not hiding while eating, or like eating like 3000 calories or like eating a whole box of oreos myself just because i have no self control.. most days i binge to where i reach my max calories/a little over, therefore leads to no weightloss and i think that’s what my main issue is - this binge eating is the only reason i’m not losing any weight ... like i said it could be much worse but in my eyes for me, its never been so bad and i think from some of your comments i’m realizing that it’s probably because i deprive myself so much throughout the day since i’m still trying to learn how to do this whole diet thing and i’m not giving myself enough food as i should be2
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Try to let go of the all-or-nothing thinking. You aren't perfect. No one is.
Log before you eat. That gives you a chance to see how each item will impact your nutrition and calories for the day before you've consumed it. You can decide if you still want to eat it and, if so, how much.
Each moment is a new decision. If you decide to eat something off-plan, eat that thing and then go right back to the plan. Don't wait until tomorrow to start again.
Experiment to find a way of eating that leaves you satisfied enough while still at a calorie deficit. I aim for 80% of my calories from nutrient-dense foods and 20% from treats.6 -
this was extremely helpful and motivational even tho you may have not even intended it to be:) thank you!!Try to let go of the all-or-nothing thinking. You aren't perfect. No one is.
Log before you eat. That gives you a chance to see how each item will impact your nutrition and calories for the day before you've consumed it. You can decide if you still want to eat it and, if so, how much.
Each moment is a new decision. If you decide to eat something off-plan, eat that thing and then go right back to the plan. Don't wait until tomorrow to start again.
Experiment to find a way of eating that leaves you satisfied enough while still at a calorie deficit. I aim for 80% of my calories from nutrient-dense foods and 20% from treats.
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i also just want to clarify what i mean by binge eating, it may have not been the best to describe it as a very bad binge eating problem because it could be much worse! i’m not hiding while eating, or like eating like 3000 calories or like eating a whole box of oreos myself just because i have no self control.. most days i binge to where i reach my max calories/a little over, therefore leads to no weightloss and i think that’s what my main issue is - this binge eating is the only reason i’m not losing any weight ... like i said it could be much worse but in my eyes for me, its never been so bad and i think from some of your comments i’m realizing that it’s probably because i deprive myself so much throughout the day since i’m still trying to learn how to do this whole diet thing and i’m not giving myself enough food as i should be
How long have you been dieting? You can eat your max calories and go over some while still losing weight. In addition to the other suggestions and information you might not understand that daily weighing will not always show a loss and sometimes even a gain due to factors like water retention. If you are eating most of your food at night and weighing in the morning your body may also simply not eliminated enough yet too. The scale will eventually show a loss if you are eating at a deficit but it may not be immediate depending on your current numbers.
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diannethegeek wrote: »I often think that telling someone with severe binge eating issues to use more willpower is like telling someone with clinical depression to just cheer up. It's not about trying harder. The good news is that there are options that can help: https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/binge-eating-disorder
THIS!!!!!!!!2 -
i also just want to clarify what i mean by binge eating, it may have not been the best to describe it as a very bad binge eating problem because it could be much worse! i’m not hiding while eating, or like eating like 3000 calories or like eating a whole box of oreos myself just because i have no self control.. most days i binge to where i reach my max calories/a little over, therefore leads to no weightloss and i think that’s what my main issue is - this binge eating is the only reason i’m not losing any weight ... like i said it could be much worse but in my eyes for me, its never been so bad and i think from some of your comments i’m realizing that it’s probably because i deprive myself so much throughout the day since i’m still trying to learn how to do this whole diet thing and i’m not giving myself enough food as i should be
Hi OP. It sounds like maybe during the day you're eating your alloted calories but not in a way that helps you feel full and not deprived.
Have you checked out the "volume eaters" thread? There's some great ideas on there for meals that will give you lots of food for only a few calories.1 -
Ok, what you describe doesn't sound like an eating disorder, but I'm not a doctor, so if you feel you need medical help go see a therapist. If not, this is what I would do if I were you (and I do find myself in your position sometimes...)
1) Check the rate of weight loss you selected. Maybe is too aggressive for you, try to begin with the slowest route, if this will help you stick with plan, so 0,5 punds a week, then maybe if you find you're doing well, you can up it to 1 und a week.
2) Don't try to eat only "healty" and low cal food during the day, otherwise you'll crave what you're not having, but also try not to eat only calorie dense food, otherwise you'll find you are not satiated at the end of the day. Find your own balance between fullness and tastiness. Try to understand if you "binges" are due to hunger or craving specific food. If the first, eat more "volume" food, if the last, try to eat a small portion of the kind of foof you crave during the day.
3) It' a paradox, I know, but I find that pre-logging my food is not going to help me, because I often change my mind on what I want, and if I pre-log a food I don't want and force myself on eating it, I will eat what I really want afterwards, so for me is best to decide what I'm eating on the moment. But everyone is different and you need to find out what works best for you.
4) Wait. You will gradually get more used to it and find the best routine for you. Experiment with the number and timing of your meals, with calories and macros, and don't follow general advice, find you own best routine. Dont' give up because you feel this is not for you, when you will find what works for you, you will be able to stick to it.
5) Don't rely on willpower. Everyone of us would like to think that he/she will be able to just don't do this ir that if we just put our mind to it, but this is not true. Find what triggers your binges, and if there is a food you can't control, don't have it always in the house, but eat it only when you can fit it in your calories. Truth is, willpower is a b*tch, I find it best to have tacticts and develop habits (on which se point 4).
6) Relax, a slurge here and there is not the end of the world. Maybe you're over you cals but still under manteinance, so you'll still lose5 -
When I first started trying to losing weight, I had 2 issues: Getting over the “I’ve already failed so why bother at all” mentality and binge eating because I like the feeling of being really full. I had to learn not to beat myself up if I slipped up a day-or even a week—and just get back to working out and eating healthy as soon as I could. While simply trying to cut calories, I felt like I was starving. All. The. Time. And that lead me to shoving food into my mouth at the end of many days without a thought or care which is why I switched to a high fat diet. It has taken away most cravings so I can say no to unhealthy foods without feeling like I’ve deprived myself and allowed me to eat all of the delicious foods I love without feeling like I’m starving all day. I actually find I eat way more vegetables now as well since I can use more yummy condiments and things like rich sauces to make them taste great. The best part is all the extra energy I now have!1
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I've struggled with the same problem. One thing that helps me is to go to bed early. Once my last calorie of the day is eaten, I head for bed. And I'm up at 0500 every morning, which helps me want to go to bed early.
But if I'm ever facing the urge to eat through my larder, then my weapon is the flavor-bomb. Pickled stuff is great for this, like California Hot Mix. Low calorie and packs a punch of flavor that doesn't invite more snacking.1 -
We won't ask you to find self control. I would advice this:
- Don't go on a diet. If you need to lose weight, all you have to do, is consistently eat a little less. You don't have to find new foods, or count calories, or weigh food. If you stop eating between meals and stick to one serving, most days, you'll be fine.
- Don't look for motivation. Motivation is just what you want, but the word has become a buzzword and means almost nothing now. It's not a magic dust to sit around waiting for. If you want to lose weight, you just eat a bit less.
- Don't do good. Aim to eat well, for your own health and wellbeing, not to impress others with how virtuous you are.
- Don't think there are foods you shouldn't be eating. You can eat anything in moderation. No foods are healthy or unhealthy, it's all about proportions and context.
- Don't cheat. You're free to make your own food decisions. When you've made one, and the decision is yes, I will eat - eat it and enjoy it.
- Don't dramatize just eating a bit too much. But if you have an eating disorder, do get help.
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While I don't necessarily know if this falls under binging, poor habits, compulsive overeating and emotional eating can be damaging to health and make it seriously difficult to overcome to lose weight permanently. Perhaps therapy or a support group can help with cognitive behavioral therapy techniques (or maybe a book like The Diet Solution by Beck) to help you overcome this habit? You can't rely on willpower or motivation all the time because as you can see, it often fails us.
Learning to start over immediately instead of waiting until tomorrow or Monday or after the party; planning for an appropriately portioned evening treat; learning to distract yourself with something else; practicing waiting 10 minutes before you overeat so you have time to consider if you're still really hungry - these could all potentially make weight loss easier for you. It takes time, awareness, and effort to change behaviors, but it sounds like it might help you out.2 -
I read this book and I just returned it to the library so dammit I don't remember the name but it was about overeating. It laid out a plan about how to eat and it was weeks long and it encourages you to not diet until you do this plan. I'll get my notes out and recap for you...
1: write and recite list of advantages
So write out a list of the real reasons you want to lose weight and get into the habit of reading it or thinking about it often. After you find yourself successfully looking it before eating or before bed or whatever and you are used to thinking or reciting it, move on. List could be however long with things like "living longer" "feeling in control" "being confident" etc
2: sit down, eat slow, savor
Self explanatory. After you are consistently remembering your list do not eat standing up, don't eat fast or on the go, and be cognizant of your bites. This is just about enjoying your food and taking time to satisfy your hunger. After you are consistently not standing and eating or wolfing food down...
3: give yourself credit
Whenever you eat a little too much you tend to be hard on yourself but more important than that, most people don't savor the little victories. When you ate one plate and decided that you were full and you moved on, give yourself a personal congratulations. Give yourself praise. Whenever you start doing this you will feel more confident because you will have a mental memory of more positive affirmations than negative ones. After you feel good about this...
4. Reminder cards
I didn't do this one on paper but a lot of people do. It's personal preference. The reminder cards are supposed to remind you of your goals in a friendly way. It also tackles the idea of defeating unplanned eating. Example:
"If my coworker brings in a snack, it is my decision to eat it, but I can also buy it for myself tomorrow"
So the idea of unplanned eating is that if something strikes your fancy, you should plan it for the next day. So you are getting the craving fulfilled, but in a mindful way.
5. Weight daily
Most people say don't do this. The book argues that it will accustom you to seeing a different number every day and will assure you that not all successes can be seen on the scale. You're still doing good even if your weight fluctuates.
6. Build up resistance
The book says that you need to practice not caving. When you cave you are more likely to cave but when you don't cave, you will see it as a more positive experience. The important thing to remember is that while something might make you happy now, it won't necessarily make you happy later and your later unhappiness can severely outweigh your instant gratification.
Something Jordan Peterson said on this youtube video really impacted me and I'll share it with you. A lot of people have an idea of who they want to be but a lot of people don't thinn about who they don't want to be. Picture yourself in a year with the life you want in detail. Write it down or whatever. Now do the same but in reverse. I know I don't want to be bigger in a year and I don't want to be unhappy and unfit (I have my own personal details concerning body parts and such that you probably do too) so I keep this in mind. The goal but also the dreaded rock bottom I don't want to hit.
7. Make a distraction list
A list of things you can do besides eat and this step takes the longest because you have to actually do the things on the list consistently. Get into the habit of actually doing these things instead of just the theory.
8. Stick to a schedule
Example:
breakfast between 8-10 am
Lunch between 12-2pm
Snack between 4-5pm
Dinner between 6-8pm
Or whatever fits your schedule. Learn to eat when its time to eat.
9. Make your lifelong eating plan
Now its diet time. Pick something you can sustain forever. Even if weight loss is slow and snails pace, you will keep that weight off forever and you're more likely to not falter.
Anyways...that was my notes. Hope it helps you the way it helped me.1 -
Tough question that I had to answer myself a while back. The truth is that you have to want to lose weight more than you want to binge. I know that sounds dumb but in the end it's worth feeling hungry every now and again if you get what you want in the end. I don't particularly like cleaning the toilet, it makes me very uncomfortable for some reason... but I clean it because a dirty toilet is my nightmare. I guess in the end being overweight has restricted my life so badly that I just grit my teeth and put up with the hunger (which seemed to fade after ~2 weeks for some reason)
I know its a bad answer to a tricky question... so shoot me0
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