Question to those who've had success.

DatPanna

Did you ever feel fear that you were going to give up while on your journey? I absolutely hate it. I'm so scared I'm going to give up again, especially when I'm in the middle of my workout and I can hear myself in my head saying " You don't have to do this. You can quit. This sucks. No shame in stopping here, at least you did something. " There are days I can feel my motivation dwindling... The last thing in the world I want is to fall into that mindset again.

The scale is slowly dropping, and my body is -very- slowly changing. I'm three weeks in, and I'm still eating pretty poorly because I won't have any money until the end of the month. (I'm a student and jobless, living with an obese family. I do what I can, and I monitor my calories. I'm going to work on cleaning up my eating little by little so it's sustainable.) I do have the support of my fellow MFP-ers though and my boyfriend, who is my occassional workout partner. So that was all just to give you guys an idea of my situation.

If you could offer any bit of advice or if you've gone through a similar scenario, feel free to share. I can't help but be frustrated at myself sometimes.

hellohappycarla

Are you kidding? That happens to me all the time! There's always a voice in my head that tells me to quit every time it gets tougher and sometimes I do let myself give in. It's true what you said, at least you did something. Sometimes that is enough and the important thing is you will try again the next day. Just do not give up. If there's one thing that I have learned about when I joined MFP is to not be so hard on myself and count every little thing as improvement. Try to do that as well and you'll be surprised at how this works. You can do this! We can do this! :flowerforyou:

aquarabbit

Are you kidding? That happens to me all the time! There's always a voice in my head that tells me to quit every time it gets tougher and sometimes I do let myself give in. It's true what you said, at least you did something. Sometimes that is enough and the important thing is you will try again the next day. Just do not give up. If there's one thing that I have learned about when I joined MFP is to not be so hard on myself and count every little thing as improvement. Try to do that as well and you'll be surprised at how this works. You can do this! We can do this! :flowerforyou:

Well said! I'm the same way. I'm actually quite afraid of getting to the 140 lbs mark because that's when I started putting the weight on quickly. But it's all about staying focused and taking it little by little. And I haven't denied myself things either, but I'm much more knowledgeable and aware of foods now. It makes it simpler, but not necessarily easier. But it's still worth it! If that voice gets too loud. Come here. We'll shut that doubt up!

grggmrtn

This time was, and IS different. I don't know HOW, but I've just gotten rid of the possibility of giving up. It's not an option, period.

I want to eat a cake? Can't.
I don't wanna work out? I have to.
I don't feel like doing my frikken push-ups? Not an option.

So, I've gone into "robot mode" and I just do it. I KNOW that as soon as I start discussing possibilities with myself, then I will NOT work out, and I WILL have the damn cake, and I WILL hate myself for both of those things.

So, no more discussions. Just do.


Oh yeah, and having found a recipe for "diet" cake helped a LOT!! ;o)

DatPanna

Thank you, sincerely, to both of you.

Sometimes it's good to know I'm not alone. I should probably stop worrying so much about progress and just know that what I'm currently doing is great for my body.... I get so wrapped up in "not seeing results fast enough." But it's not an overnight process at all. I have non-scale goals, but perhaps I should add some extra to help keep me motivated that are more obtainable.

Eeek. Even posting this though, I can hear all of my doubts still whining at me, but sometimes you just have to prove them wrong, right?

athenasurrenders

I always get that voice when I'm working out. I go for a run, and my brain starts up 'You can't do it. This is going to be a rubbish workout. Uh-oh, feel that ache in your legs already? You'll give up. You always give up. Then you'll go home and feel crappy all day. You cant go any further. This sucks. I don't want to.' And ON and ON and ON.

I have learned that my brain LIES. I no longer listen to my brain. I listen to
- my joints - if they tell me something is wrong, I listen, too many things can go wrong with knees and ankles
- my lungs - they can tell me to slow down/ease off, but not stop
- my muscles - but sometimes they lie too, so I have to be stern with them and say 'can you REALLY not do any more, or are you just a bit tired?'

As for my brain, I shut it up in different ways. I change up what I am listening to - different music, sometimes audio books, sometimes I'll download some comedy, whatever distracts me. I invent little games for myself - get to the next dip in the pavement, get to the gate and you can have a sip of water, just a few more steps over the top of this hill and my legs will rest going downhill. I daydream and invent stories in my head - what rides would I have at my own theme park or what would I do with a million pounds. I bribe myself (if you get through this you can have a bubble bath or a new song on itunes) Or sometimes I just jog along thinking 'I can do it, I can, I can'. Suddenly you realise you're more than halfway through and hey, look! You're doing it after all!

As far as giving up on the whole journey, yes, I've had that too. What helps is to remove 'giving up' as an option. You have no other choice but to live a healthy life. Even if you slip up, you just get up and carry on. When I think it's taking too long to see results, I remind myself that the time is passing anyway, may as well be taking baby steps towards my goal. I know it's cheesy but I find it helps to repeat little mantras to yourself. 'This too shall pass' is good for a bad day. 'A year from now, you will wish you started today'. Whatever gets you through it. You may not feel like you can continue being healthy forever, but you can do it for today, right? That doesn't sound so bad. And then tomorrow you can say it again - I can do it today, right?

DatPanna

This time was, and IS different. I don't know HOW, but I've just gotten rid of the possibility of giving up. It's not an option, period.

I want to eat a cake? Can't.
I don't wanna work out? I have to.
I don't feel like doing my frikken push-ups? Not an option.

So, I've gone into "robot mode" and I just do it. I KNOW that as soon as I start discussing possibilities with myself, then I will NOT work out, and I WILL have the damn cake, and I WILL hate myself for both of those things.

So, no more discussions. Just do.


Oh yeah, and having found a recipe for "diet" cake helped a LOT!! ;o)

Diet cake? ....Yeah let's be friends, lol! Where did you find that recipe?

My friends tell me I'm more determined than I have been, but I don't think I'm necessarily in robot mode, haha. Thank you so much for the advice. I'll try to remember that when I'm facing something where it's called for. (Maybe next time I have a soda craving....)

grggmrtn

Diet cake? ....Yeah let's be friends, lol! Where did you find that recipe?

My friends tell me I'm more determined than I have been, but I don't think I'm necessarily in robot mode, haha. Thank you so much for the advice. I'll try to remember that when I'm facing something where it's called for. (Maybe next time I have a soda craving....)

I just googled a lot - found a cake recipe that only called for egg whites, baking powder, cocoa, some fruit... and instead of white flour i used graham flour, and stevia instead of sugar (1/5), and maybe some other stuff, but nothing "bad" - baked them in cupcake tins to control the portions and ended up with 50 calories per cake. I break them up and mix them into greek yoghurt, makes an AWESOME "parfait" type-thingie.

NO, it's not a triple-chocolate fudge brownie gooey yum-fest, but it still tastes damn good

P.s. I found that even though I'm not diabetic, some diabetes recipes work pretty darn good for the sweet tooth


p.p.s. Soda's NASTY if you think about all the chemicals - I work with fizzy water and add lemon juice, and a splash of sweetener. Haven't needed "soda" since january.

DatPanna

I always get that voice when I'm working out. I go for a run, and my brain starts up 'You can't do it. This is going to be a rubbish workout. Uh-oh, feel that ache in your legs already? You'll give up. You always give up. Then you'll go home and feel crappy all day. You cant go any further. This sucks. I don't want to.' And ON and ON and ON.

I have learned that my brain LIES. I no longer listen to my brain. I listen to
- my joints - if they tell me something is wrong, I listen, too many things can go wrong with knees and ankles
- my lungs - they can tell me to slow down/ease off, but not stop
- my muscles - but sometimes they lie too, so I have to be stern with them and say 'can you REALLY not do any more, or are you just a bit tired?'

As for my brain, I shut it up in different ways. I change up what I am listening to - different music, sometimes audio books, sometimes I'll download some comedy, whatever distracts me. I invent little games for myself - get to the next dip in the pavement, get to the gate and you can have a sip of water, just a few more steps over the top of this hill and my legs will rest going downhill. I daydream and invent stories in my head - what rides would I have at my own theme park or what would I do with a million pounds. I bribe myself (if you get through this you can have a bubble bath or a new song on itunes) Or sometimes I just jog along thinking 'I can do it, I can, I can'. Suddenly you realise you're more than halfway through and hey, look! You're doing it after all!

As far as giving up on the whole journey, yes, I've had that too. What helps is to remove 'giving up' as an option. You have no other choice but to live a healthy life. Even if you slip up, you just get up and carry on. When I think it's taking too long to see results, I remind myself that the time is passing anyway, may as well be taking baby steps towards my goal. I know it's cheesy but I find it helps to repeat little mantras to yourself. 'This too shall pass' is good for a bad day. 'A year from now, you will wish you started today'. Whatever gets you through it. You may not feel like you can continue being healthy forever, but you can do it for today, right? That doesn't sound so bad. And then tomorrow you can say it again - I can do it today, right?

Honestly, I can really relate to this. I don't yet listen to music while running because I'm building up a playlist, but I definitely do the distance game bit. It helps soooooo very much. The little things show you exactly what you have in you, and you make so much sense... So very very much sense. It's not cheesy at all.

I've also noted the joints, muscles, and lungs portion. I'll try to focus on those things more than my own thoughts.

This helped so much. This community is amazing. Thank you.

Railr0aderTony

First of all , read my Profile pic, Second you can do it. Like others said you just have to keep at it. Even if you do not want to. The old "fake it till you make it" really does work.

shadow2soul

I have moments like this occasional. During these times, I like to look at a picture of me at my heaviest and remember just how far I have come. If I'm getting bored with my workout routine, I change it up. This is a journey that takes not only will power and strength (mental not physical), but patience as well. For me, patience is the hardest part of it all.

Good luck :flowerforyou:

harphy

It's pretty much like success at work or success at college or at anything...those who work hard, are persistent and have a good head on their shoulders succeed sooner or later. With a pinch of luck and tablespoon of support.

Brummig

Oh yes, even now - and I lost most of my weight 2 years ago. A few weeks ago I had a major confidence wobble - and going to the gym felt like such a huge deal and I didn't want to face it. When I'm really stressed and worried about things I focus on small stuff and build it up - like the gym, and then because I'm anxious about doing something stupid, I do something stupid - or cry - which then makes me feel stupid!

As previous poster sometimes you just have to go into 'robot mode'. When I find myself thinking "Oh I'll go to the gym later" I need to go straight away because I am looking for excuses. If I really can't do it then then I find other exercise I can do -eg can I walk to the shops, if I can only spend a short time in the gym I can cycle there instead. Good music helps me, gym classes are harder to quit half way through than my own workout.

You are doing this for you - not for your family, or anyone else. You are worth this, because you are amazing! Stick with it.

athenasurrenders

Do you have an iphone? If so, get yourself the zombies run app. The storyline is perfect for distracting yourself from the negative thoughts, I think you'll enjoy it.

DatPanna

Thanks everyone-- seriously. This community is soooo great. What was I even thinking not being here to begin with, lol?


Zombie run app????? ....And off to the app store I go.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

aarar

This time was, and IS different. I don't know HOW, but I've just gotten rid of the possibility of giving up. It's not an option, period.

So, I've gone into "robot mode" and I just do it. I KNOW that as soon as I start discussing possibilities with myself, then I will NOT work out, and I WILL have the damn cake, and I WILL hate myself for both of those things.

So, no more discussions. Just do.

I was going to say the same thing about 'robot mode'. Especially in the beginning you just have to do it; remove all thoughts and just do. I think it does get easier though as time goes on.

Francl27

During work outs? All the time! I hate it. I like walks, but that's about it. Sometimes I do stop in the middle of a workout because I'm just not feeling it. I'm not too worried about it... it's still 80% diet and I'm still pretty active, well, much more than I was 7 months ago for sure.

Diet? So far never. And it's really what matters the most.

SpleenThief

If your goal, any goal, doesn't make you pause and say "Um, I'm not sure I can do this", you've set your bar too low.

cebreisch

I think everybody has those moments where they have to ask themselves, "Is this really what I want to do? Is it worth it?"

It only means you're human.

If the scale is moving in the right direction, then you're successful. Everybody seems to want the weight to come off instantly. I know with me it's so easy to put weight on, and yes, it's work to take it off, but it's been SOOO worth the journey. No, it's not coming off as fast as I would like, but it is coming off. It is definitely an exercise in patience!

While it does feel like watching paint dry in the weight seeming to come off so slowly, there are things that inspire me to move forward - you have to look for the "NSV" (non-scale victories). My "fat clothes" are really huge on me now. I can walk around so much more. I can actually go to the gym. I can do a lot of this stuff without my back hurting because of my weight. I used to have my husband drop me off at the movie theatre front door because I had trouble walking from the parking lot. Not anymore!

Keep at it. It'll come. Every little bit adds up! 1 pound this week, 1/2 pound next week, now I'm at 120.8 pounds lost. I never thought I'd be able to say that.

leadiax3

Do what will make u happy at the end of the day., not what will give u momentary satisfaction... Nevrr give up on urself. Push through ur couple weak moments as hard as u can and when its over u will be stronger. Will power!

ItsCasey

Honestly, I never thought about giving up. Sure, there were days when I didn't feel like working out, but unless my body just physically couldn't do what I was asking it to do that day, skipping a workout was not an option. I knew from the beginning it was going to take a long time (I'm going on 4 years now), and I was fine with that. It's not a race. It's your life.

harleygroomer

Nothing worth doing is ever easy........ As for the money issue--you can turn bad food into GOOD food simply by the way you prepare it and HOW MUCH you do eat. Look in your pantry and then go online and see what you can find..You will be surprised. Weight loss is NOT expensive

CyberEd312

I believe the whole mindset of giving up has more to do with anyone that is looking at this as a short term process... Meaning you think that there is a means to an end, Once you lose the weight you can go back to the old you.. This is the whole meaning of yo yo dieting... When you finally hit that rock bottom moment and there is no where to go but up you stop looking at this as a temporary thing and start looking at it as the rest of your life and believe you me I am in no hurry to rush that... So I take each day as they come and do everything I can to be as successful today so when my head hits the pillow this evening I have no regrets and I get a good nights sleep and get up tomorrow and do it all over again cause this is my life now.. Doesn't take motivation to live my life it just take me putting one foot in front of the other and do it..... Best of Luck

dakotababy

Perhaps it is time for a new workout? Yours does not sound like fun or enjoyable.

SimplyDenyse

This time was, and IS different. I don't know HOW, but I've just gotten rid of the possibility of giving up. It's not an option, period.

I want to eat a cake? Can't.
I don't wanna work out? I have to.
I don't feel like doing my frikken push-ups? Not an option.

So, I've gone into "robot mode" and I just do it. I KNOW that as soon as I start discussing possibilities with myself, then I will NOT work out, and I WILL have the damn cake, and I WILL hate myself for both of those things.

So, no more discussions. Just do.


Oh yeah, and having found a recipe for "diet" cake helped a LOT!! ;o)

This is me exactly.. Im so scared about giving up I think its pushed my motivation even further this time. I don't even try to think about it when im headed to the gym.. I just go and Im there and i do what i do and then after its all said and done I feel so accomplished and proud of myself. I try to tell myself there is not option to opt out or eat/drink that.. If I want to reach my goals I can't over think it, just do it.

glin23

The way I look at it is, this is a long term journey. I'm a runner so the analogy I like to give, is it's a marathon and not a sprint there will be bumps along the way and it may not go on exactly how you planned, but you just need to stick with it.. You've experienced hard days and there will be more in the future. But I think in the end it's worth it.

Another way to look at it that motivates me is that the alternative, however difficult this might be, is even worse.

megalin9

As someone else said, quitting is simply not an option.

Also, motivation =/= determination/will power. There's lots of times I'm not motivated to go to the gym or I'm not motivated to make good food choices, but I have will-power, and my will-power takes over and makes me do it anyway. I never regret the decision to do what needs to be done, and it really is as simple to me as a DECISION.

I also went into this knowing it would take as long as it needed to take. I wasn't in a race to lose the weight as fast as possible, so I made small changes here and there that have eventually led up to a whole overhaul of my lifestyle (I can't hardly remember how I used to eat). If you try to do everything all at once - completely change your diet and start exercising for hours a day 7 days a week - then you will be more likely to give up because it will be overwhelming. Make small changes that you can live with the rest of your life. One day you will wake up and realize that you've changed your lifestyle....as long as quitting is never an option.