Have you guys ever had an abusive partner that tried to sabotage your weight loss?

Barbaramarierobertson
Barbaramarierobertson Posts: 81 Member
in Motivation and Support
I had an abusive boyfriend that loved my BIG curves (he loves heavy unfit women) and he hated when I went to the gym.
He's abusive, didn't want me to go to the gym and got very angry when I lost weight. We had fights about it, he slapped me, left a bruse on my wrist and slammed me against the wall. I wouldn't listen to others advice and they had to snap me out of it. My freinds and family had to give me a reality check. I dumped him two days ago and called the police on him! He's in jail now. We dated for 4 weeks. Frankly I'm a lot happier without him in my life and single. I'm done dating! I always have bad luck in guys. Anyways I lost 4 pounds. Didn't lose any this week but whatever.

Replies

  • aokoye
    aokoye Posts: 3,495 Member
    Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »
    Didn't lose any this week but whatever.
    You may not have lost any weight this week but you were beyond amazing despite that!
  • Momepro
    Momepro Posts: 1,509 Member
    All that in a month? Wow, good for all of you recognizing what was happening so quickly, and getting that garbage out right away, before he could ruin your entire life.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    I've never experienced it personally because I'm usually attracted to mellow easy going kind of people, but I had a friend who did and know how awful it is and how "forgiving" someone can be which can turn into "trapped" as time passes. You did the right thing nipping it in the bud because it could have been worse if you let it fester further.

    You deserve to be happy, and you deserve the body you want. It's okay to focus on yourself right now and take care of yourself, but don't give up on dating entirely when you're ready in the future. There are plenty of great people out there. You have learned from this experience and may be able to recognize the warning signs in any potential relationship. Be picky. Just because you're overweight doesn't mean you need to settle for less. You deserve the best just like anyone of any weight.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »
    serindipte wrote: »
    Sounds to me like you lost @180lbs (guessing on his weight). Great job!!!! Now you take care of you :smile:

    I wish! I'm actually 226lbs. Now. Starting weight was 230lbs.

    She meant you lost however much your jerk ex weighs by dumping him :)
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Well, a controlling, abusive guy might be interested in an overweight woman because he hopes she would have self esteem issues and put up with the abuse. Glad you caught this one early.
  • candythorns
    candythorns Posts: 246 Member
    Glad the relationship was short. You can and will do way better! Inspired by you :)
  • serindipte
    serindipte Posts: 1,557 Member
    Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »
    serindipte wrote: »
    Sounds to me like you lost @180lbs (guessing on his weight). Great job!!!! Now you take care of you :smile:

    I wish! I'm actually 226lbs. Now. Starting weight was 230lbs.

    I meant the dead weight of the guy :) My original SW was 229. You can do this!
  • rbfdac
    rbfdac Posts: 1,057 Member
    I've never dealt with this and I'm very sorry that you have. My husband is absolutely supportive of me no matter what size and shape I'm in. He's my rock. You deserve the same thing and I hope that one day you find it.

    Keep up the work and keep realizing that you are worth it.
  • SisterSueGetsFit
    SisterSueGetsFit Posts: 1,211 Member
    He did all of this after a month??? I'm glad you dumped him, it sounds like he could have ended up killing you. Stay strong, and under NO circumstances should you even consider taking him back. Abusive men like this tend to also be very charming... Trust me on this.

    Work on becoming the best you and you will find good in retun. My best wishes.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »
    I had an abusive boyfriend that loved my BIG curves (he loves heavy unfit women) and he hated when I went to the gym.
    He's abusive, didn't want me to go to the gym and got very angry when I lost weight. We had fights about it, he slapped me, left a bruse on my wrist and slammed me against the wall. I wouldn't listen to others advice and they had to snap me out of it. My freinds and family had to give me a reality check. I dumped him two days ago and called the police on him! He's in jail now. We dated for 4 weeks. Frankly I'm a lot happier without him in my life and single. I'm done dating! I always have bad luck in guys. Anyways I lost 4 pounds. Didn't lose any this week but whatever.

    Well done! Yeah - I would prioritize removing that threat over an arbitrary number on a scale this week.

    I recently removed a narcissist from the workplace and found this series very eye opening on how toxic these people can be:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJudXl1_ks8
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    good for you moving forward and calling the police.
    yes, it's not uncommon. low self esteem people are easier to control. they are also more accepting of unacceptable behavior because who else would love them. and abusers feed on that.

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