Frustrated with my shape :(

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2

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  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 526 Member
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    The changing room mirrors/lighting wildly confuse me, it's like the shops do not want peoples money, lmao
  • marysabetournay
    marysabetournay Posts: 69 Member
    edited May 2018
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    the swimsuit is the problem, not your body! You look wonderful! Try on many more, cause finding the right one can take time but you would be surprised how great you feel when you find the one that suits you best
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    I agree that it's the suit, not you. I would try elsewhere for a suit. Try on a few that you don't particularly like on the hanger, even. I've discovered quite a few outfits that I like on me but when I saw them on the hanger thought "there's no way."

    Excellent point.
  • DananaNanas
    DananaNanas Posts: 665 Member
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    I think you look great and I'm sad you don't agree :( and no one needs a tan to look good!
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
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    I must be trippin cuz I like the suit haha! I think you look fabulous btw and maybe not a real tan but some of that Jergens body glow lotion? I use it on my legs and it somehow makes me look smoother and muscles more poppin :)
  • Crafty_camper123
    Crafty_camper123 Posts: 1,440 Member
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    You look fine.(Great, actually.) The bad lighting in that fitting room is playing tricks on your mind. I always think of fitting room mirrors like evil funhouse mirrors. I'll try stuff on and discover rolls I didn't even know I had! I'm sure you'll find a bathing suit you'll feel confident in, you may just have to keep shopping. Since everyone's body is different, you may find some place where nothing fits right. And, that's okay. It's their selection. Not you. I've tried on heaps of clothes and walked out with nothing because there was something that was just a bit off on every piece. Happens to all of us I'm sure. Try not to be down on yourself. :)

    Some of my strategies? I try to position myself in different ways in the fitting room to combat the funhouse lighting. Sometimes it helps to stand back a bit and look from a different angle. I'll also try stuff on that I like but am not sure will look good on me. Sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised! Sometimes I'm like "lol, nope". If I have any "maybes" I'll take a pic in the fitting room and then show it to my husband. It's sometimes good to have an outside eye. They may not see what you see and point out why that item looks great (or sometimes not so great). Also if you think it maybe looks okay, but aren't sure, save your receipt and try it on at home. The better lighting and good mirror at home could make all the difference to what you are seeing. If I saw you on the beach I wouldn't be seeing a single thing you pointed out. Neither would anyone else. Usually, people are too absorbed into their own self to worry about other people anyways. Find one you like, and just think to yourself "Screw them! I look great and I know it!" If you don't believe it, just fake it. Fake confidence eventually turns into real confidence and no one from the outside will know the difference. ;) Tell yourself you're beautiful enough, you will eventually come to know it's true.
  • VUA21
    VUA21 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    Go to a high end department store. Ask for help finding a swimsuit. LISTEN to the salesperson (because they work on commission as well as a base salary/wage, they really want to make a sale and aren't going to show you stuff that isn't flattering to you). Try the suits recommend on..... Even if you don't plan on buying anything, you'll get a really good idea of what cuts look best on your body. Swimsuits are like any other piece of clothing, different styles flatter different bodies.
  • MsMaeFlowers
    MsMaeFlowers Posts: 261 Member
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    Honestly, you look good. I'm in the same boat with the no waist and wide love handles thing, but you look far better than I currently do. And you have more hip. Rock that bathing suit because you look damn good.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    Your body looks good.

    Try a halter or bandeau style top - that will give you the visual appearance of a more rounded chest, and being smaller you can actually pull them off where they just look awful and are super uncomfortable on bigger girls.

    For bottoms try something with a higher waist and possibly higher cut legs...so, something like a retro style bottom or even a boy short bottom.

    Some of it is a style preference, but I do a lot of sewing and a lot of clothes looking good is just finding what is a good fit for your shape. If you really want to go with bottoms like you have on, then go with a tie side or block pattern so there is more definition on the sides to accent your hips.
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,900 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    I think you'd look amazing in something like this...

    4b6nxm7hyy8z.jpg

    Love this little number! Yes you would look darling in this!
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
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    I think you look amazing!!

    And remember the lighting in fitting rooms is never ideal - I'm not sure why shops don't catch themselves on because they have to lose out on a lot of sales because of horrible lighting.

    6 weeks isn't alot of time to see changes btw, more likely it could take up to a year for a full recomp so patience is required.

    I hope venting has helped you. Be proud you have a body most of us wish we had. Rock wearing that bikini ok :smile:
  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    edited May 2018
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    VUA21 wrote: »
    Go to a high end department store. Ask for help finding a swimsuit. LISTEN to the salesperson (because they work on commission as well as a base salary/wage, they really want to make a sale and aren't going to show you stuff that isn't flattering to you). Try the suits recommend on..... Even if you don't plan on buying anything, you'll get a really good idea of what cuts look best on your body. Swimsuits are like any other piece of clothing, different styles flatter different bodies.

    I appreciate all the shopping advice you guys, but finding a swimsuit isn't the issue, I have several very flattering swimsuits at home (all of them with a lot of coverage though), I love shopping and fashion so I know how to mask trouble spots and all that! However what I was really hoping to work towards is having a body that doesn't NEED any masking, lol, where I COULD just put on a cheap Target bikini and look great! This particular suit was just a random one I took a picture in, but really the upsetting thing about trying all of them was seeing the parts NOT covered by the suit, and all the bits that are still flabby and bigger than I'd like and how far I am from my goal still, and also realizing that I may never attain that attractive body shape I really want because I'm limited by my bone structure :( I would be happy with a body kind of like Rachel Bilson, who has a similar build, but her waist and torso is still so much narrower. I can't even tell if I would eventually get there by losing more fat, or if this is as small as it gets

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gEYizb3IinI/UZRc0D-eAeI/AAAAAAAAABQ/FV427nV9mws/s1600/FFN_g_51069907.jpg
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
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    you like just fine. the suit isn't the most flattering but is fine too
    you aren't rachel bilson-you are you. be you. also my eye detects photoshop. at least a pinch at the waist
  • vallary14
    vallary14 Posts: 215 Member
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    She has more body fat than you. I suspect some body dysmorphia...[/quote]

    I completely agree with this! We probably can’t tell OP enough that she has a lovely body that TONS of women would envy. Time for some soul searching and learn to love yourself OP❤️❤️❤️
  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    nettiklive wrote: »
    VUA21 wrote: »
    Go to a high end department store. Ask for help finding a swimsuit. LISTEN to the salesperson (because they work on commission as well as a base salary/wage, they really want to make a sale and aren't going to show you stuff that isn't flattering to you). Try the suits recommend on..... Even if you don't plan on buying anything, you'll get a really good idea of what cuts look best on your body. Swimsuits are like any other piece of clothing, different styles flatter different bodies.

    I appreciate all the shopping advice you guys, but finding a swimsuit isn't the issue, I have several very flattering swimsuits at home (all of them with a lot of coverage though), I love shopping and fashion so I know how to mask trouble spots and all that! However what I was really hoping to work towards is having a body that doesn't NEED any masking, lol, where I COULD just put on a cheap Target bikini and look great! This particular suit was just a random one I took a picture in, but really the upsetting thing about trying all of them was seeing the parts NOT covered by the suit, and all the bits that are still flabby and bigger than I'd like and how far I am from my goal still, and also realizing that I may never attain that attractive body shape I really want because I'm limited by my bone structure :( I would be happy with a body kind of like Rachel Bilson, who has a similar build, but her waist and torso is still so much narrower. I can't even tell if I would eventually get there by losing more fat, or if this is as small as it gets

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gEYizb3IinI/UZRc0D-eAeI/AAAAAAAAABQ/FV427nV9mws/s1600/FFN_g_51069907.jpg

    She has more body fat than you. I suspect some body dysmorphia...

    not saying she doesn't, it may be just distributed differently. This is why I'm not sure if losing more fat or building muscle will help me much. I have seen plenty of women who are not super skinny yet have that firm, smooth, narrow look that I want.
    This is what's annoying me so much - I kind of bought into the whole fitness/ transformation industry message that if you lose enough fat, you'll get that perfect dream shape, or at least close to it. Turns out that's not quite true.
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
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    nettiklive wrote: »
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    nettiklive wrote: »
    VUA21 wrote: »
    Go to a high end department store. Ask for help finding a swimsuit. LISTEN to the salesperson (because they work on commission as well as a base salary/wage, they really want to make a sale and aren't going to show you stuff that isn't flattering to you). Try the suits recommend on..... Even if you don't plan on buying anything, you'll get a really good idea of what cuts look best on your body. Swimsuits are like any other piece of clothing, different styles flatter different bodies.

    I appreciate all the shopping advice you guys, but finding a swimsuit isn't the issue, I have several very flattering swimsuits at home (all of them with a lot of coverage though), I love shopping and fashion so I know how to mask trouble spots and all that! However what I was really hoping to work towards is having a body that doesn't NEED any masking, lol, where I COULD just put on a cheap Target bikini and look great! This particular suit was just a random one I took a picture in, but really the upsetting thing about trying all of them was seeing the parts NOT covered by the suit, and all the bits that are still flabby and bigger than I'd like and how far I am from my goal still, and also realizing that I may never attain that attractive body shape I really want because I'm limited by my bone structure :( I would be happy with a body kind of like Rachel Bilson, who has a similar build, but her waist and torso is still so much narrower. I can't even tell if I would eventually get there by losing more fat, or if this is as small as it gets

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gEYizb3IinI/UZRc0D-eAeI/AAAAAAAAABQ/FV427nV9mws/s1600/FFN_g_51069907.jpg

    She has more body fat than you. I suspect some body dysmorphia...

    not saying she doesn't, it may be just distributed differently. This is why I'm not sure if losing more fat or building muscle will help me much. I have seen plenty of women who are not super skinny yet have that firm, smooth, narrow look that I want.
    This is what's annoying me so much - I kind of bought into the whole fitness/ transformation industry message that if you lose enough fat, you'll get that perfect dream shape, or at least close to it. Turns out that's not quite true.

    Yea that is definitely not the case. And I went through it too. For me it meant gaining weight (mostly muscle). For you, not saying you have to gain weight or anything to get to the goal you want, but I definitely do not think losing more fat will get you where you want to go.
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
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    I get that you're upset about your ribcage being prominent and not having a smooth, curved shape.

    I have a build very similar to yours and was similarly upset until I learned how widespread the practice of photoshopping ribcages like ours out of fashion and advertising and celebrity photography was.

    I always thought I had a weird body until I learned that. Then I found out my body was normal and made peace with it.

    You have less body fat than Rachel Bilson, and the only way you'd look smooth is to have more body fat. That would be foolish.

    Keep up with recomp, and define the muscles you have. If anything, you're already very, very thin and definitely don't need to lose any weight.
  • Niki_Fitz
    Niki_Fitz Posts: 950 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    It's the suit, not you.

    I agree. Target swimsuits look good on the rack but they’re not very well made.

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