Measuring Food and a Bad Past

dawn_h_d

I have recently starting measuring my portion sizes. It wasn't that I was eating unhealthy, I was just eating A LOT of stuff in one sitting (basically - 2 to 3 times 1 serving size), and now I am watching my portion sizes. This has freaked my boyfriend out, and I don't blame him for why.

His aunt basically starved herself and passed away in 2004. She was less than 100 lbs at the time. She had been measuring and weighing her food since the 1980's, and from what I gather, she was basically anorexic. Now I am FAR from being in that type of danger zone (I weigh over 200 lbs.), but watching me get out the measuring cups when getting a meal ready is bringing up some really bad memories and he ends up getting some anxiety from it. I explained to him, that I don't usually eat less than a true serving size, I just don't want to be eating 3 or 4 servings at a time. He says he understands why I am doing it, but again, it is just a trigger for him.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this situation? He does support me losing weight, but how can we come to a compromise where I won't bring up triggers of the past, and we can make sure I am eating the right size portions?

A couple things to keep in mind, I can premeasure some stuff out - i.e. trail mix, etc., but at night when we are eating dinner, it is hard to premeasure, when we are making it at that time. I also am trying to cook more and eat less prepackaged things, so I would have to measure it - it isn't already measured out for me and put on a label.

sharonfoustmills

Have him measure it for you- then he knows you are eating what is recommended for a grown adult person and you are not starving to death. Show him MFP and how it works so he can see the idea behind it, and show him some resources that say appropriate calories for grown adults fall within a certain specified range. (He could possibly use some trauma/ grief counseling too.)

MoreBean13

Measuring and weighing is pretty important, especially when you're just getting started learning proper portion sizes, as you've now figured out. I think you should just explain to him that LOTS of people measure their food- it doesn't always lead to obsessive or unhealthy behaviors and definitely not starvation. I, for example, have lost my weight, and been in maintenance for 4 months and I still measure a good portion of my food, and I'm definitely not starving. It might help if you share your food diary with him, to show him you're not starving. Or, have him come online and read the boards here to see that lots of healthy people do it.

magerum

Measuring and weighing is pretty important, especially when you're just getting started learning proper portion sizes, as you've now figured out. I think you should just explain to him that LOTS of people measure their food- it doesn't always lead to obsessive or unhealthy behaviors and definitely not starvation. I, for example, have lost my weight, and been in maintenance for 4 months and I still measure a good portion of my food, and I'm definitely not starving. It might help if you share your food diary with him, to show him you're not starving. Or, have him come online and read the boards here to see that lots of healthy people do it.

^

Also, ditch the measuring. Weigh it all for optimal accuracy.

stealthq

+1 for counseling.

This isn't the kind of thing that explaining will help. He obviously knows you're not starving yourself, he can see that you're measuring normal quantities of food and he can see that you're not wasting away. These are issues that he needs to work through, ideally with some experienced guidance, or he's just going to keep feeling this way.

MoreBean13

Measuring and weighing is pretty important, especially when you're just getting started learning proper portion sizes, as you've now figured out. I think you should just explain to him that LOTS of people measure their food- it doesn't always lead to obsessive or unhealthy behaviors and definitely not starvation. I, for example, have lost my weight, and been in maintenance for 4 months and I still measure a good portion of my food, and I'm definitely not starving. It might help if you share your food diary with him, to show him you're not starving. Or, have him come online and read the boards here to see that lots of healthy people do it.

^

Also, ditch the measuring. Weigh it all for optimal accuracy.

Yeah I agree. I can't remember the last time I measured anything with anything but my digital scale. Maybe for baking.

missshyeviolett

I too had an aunt die of anorexia and therefore had a bit of an aversion to weighing and measuring at first for fear that I'd become too obsessive about it. It just took a little time to get used to but it REALLY helps. Maybe keep your log open to him in case he gets anxious?

dawn_h_d

Thanks everyone for the ideas and support!! We had a good conversation last night, and I guess it was also in how I was wording things. I guess I had said a few times, while measuring, "This is all I can have." I told him that I really meant, this is one serving. We are working together on this, and he understands that it is for portion control only. I do show him my diary almost everyday. He was also worried because some days I have been at 1500-1800 calories, and, according to MFP - I am supposed to be at 2200 calories. (I am 5'9" and, like I said over 200 lbs). I also explained that I am a "bored eater". I eat when bored and not when hungry, so I am trying to listen to my body more. So, even when I think I should eat more, I am trying to decide if I am really hungry, or just bored. This is going to be a journey to a new me, and I am glad I have the support I do.

Francl27

Definitely get him some counseling, or it's going to be a really tough road for you both.