The mentality of "Accountability Buddies"
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UncaToddly wrote: »So I see a lot of people posting that they are looking for friends to help them in their process and to help keep them accountable. Different people are different in how they respond to things or whatever but how do those of you who want this or do this have it really make a difference for you?
I ask because for me, it isn't anything that is going to help nor do I see myself being able to help anyone else in that regard. Yes, you can rah-rah when people have good days resisting temptation or "I really pushed myself at the gym today" but when I am standing in the accounting department in front of that box of donuts or in the lunchroom staring at the wall of candy bars & chips, having someone in Botswana or Kiev or even the next town over here in the Seattle, USA area that would say "walk away, you don't need that, you can do it" isn't going to make me stop making a bad choice. For some people though, complete strangers who know little about them is enough to help them make better decisions?
I am not trying to knock those who do this kind of thing and for whom it works but more a matter of trying to understand or see if I am missing something.
For me, what helps is when I am standing there in front of the wall of candy and chips and one of my co-workers who knows I am losing weight walks by and says, "Don't do it. Be Strong." or "Walk away brother, walk away, you are better than that."
What helps me is when I wasn't planning on taking a walk during work and one of my co-workers says "Are you going for a walk at lunch today? I will go with you.".... so now I have a little motivation I didn't have before.
For those of you that do seek the accountability buddies or whatever, how does it make you do anything different knowing that Todd in Seattle or Lisa in Ireland will know what you did/didn't do if you are completely honest about everything?
@UncaToddly when it comes to health practices I only see myself accountable myself and no one else. Maybe people just mean "supportive" buddy when they type "accountability" buddy. If one liked their parole officer then that would be a real "accountability" buddy perhaps.
I do learn so much from other MFP posters who may or may not be in my friends list with my need for magnesium and the best source for that need for example.
It seems like asking a stranger to be an "accountability" buddy could be as dangerous as mush of the "free" eating advice out there today can be.
In my case I was obese until I learn how to eat all I wanted without triggering the cravings and binging that I had lived with the prior 40 years and that wrecked my health. It was no wanting my kids to watch me die prematurely that drove me to find a new WOE over time.
What goes in my mouth and when it goes in my mouth is only under my control as long I remain a free man so 100% of the accountability belongs to me and no one else. That is why at age 67 personally I still do not understand why peer pressure really exist.
Now support from "knowledge and experience" buddies is awesome to have where it be from a healthcare provider, coworker, coffee drinking buddy, etc.
People that "tell" others how they should eat using social media are totally NON buddies in my view even if they are well meaning perhaps.2
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